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How will you feel as a mother if your husband sexually abuses your innocent daughter? This is the question a woman in Bauchi State is trying to come to terms with, as her husband, Abubakar Magaji, a resident of Liman Kagum in Bauchi local government, did the abominable act of having carnal knowledge of their 11-year-old daughter.
More shocking is the fact that it was not a one-act misadventure but a repeated one. But like a popular saying has it: Many days for a thief and one day for the owner, nemesis eventually caught up with the 45-year-old father when he was arrested and paraded along with others at the Bauchi State command for rape.
When VM sought to know why Abubakar will abuse his own child sexually, he confessed he was tempted by the devil. He added that he could not resist defiling his daughter when his wife left him because of a misunderstanding between them.
The father of four who was ashamed to lift his head while answering questions from journalists said: “I engaged in the ugly act because I had a misunderstanding with my wife and she left me. I am ashamed of my self because it was temptation that led me to do it.
“I divorced her mother and married another wife but unfortunately my wife also left me a month ago so I needed a woman to be with; so that was why I did it. I also have a problem with my sexual libido. It is so terrible that I desire any woman I see, but what stops me from approaching them is that people respect me as a married man. So I felt the only way I could relieve my sexual tension was to sleep with my daughter, since she is so young and had no knowledge about sex.
“It was after I defiled her and I was arrested by the police that I understood the gravity of my offence. I can’t imagine that I did this to my own daughter. I regret my actions and I pray that God will forgive me”.
When VM visited the residence of the suspect at Liman Katagum, a suburb of Bauchi metropolis, a neighbour to Abubakar who did not disclose his name, said that he was shocked to hear that Abubakar was arrested by the police because he defiled his daughter. According to him: “ I was shocked when I discovered that Mallam Abubakar who I had a lot of respect for will stoop that low and sleep with an 11-year-old child that happens to be his daughter.
“This is the highest level of abomination and Islam is against such an act. No matter the excuse, a man does not have the right to defile a girl outside the confines of marriage. This is unacceptable and he deserves to be punished by the law”.
He called for severe punitive measures to be carried on rapists in the country, saying that will serve as a deterrent to those contemplating on engaging in such an act.
Reacting to the development, the state Commissioner of Police, Lawal, Shehu expressed worry over the increasing rate of rape cases in the state and vowed that all rape suspects will be charged to court and prosecuted. He said: “Since January, we have arrested over 10 suspected rapists, only this week we recorded over five cases. It is worrisome that among the suspects arrested is a 45-year-old man who raped his 11-year-old daughter and two aged men who are between 45 to 54 years who raped teenage girls of between two years and four years”.
“This is why I’m sounding a note of caution to parents,especially mothers, to always monitor the movement of their female children. I particularly want to warn mothers to be always on alert because rape is on the increase and teenagers and little children between five and fifteen years are now the victims.
“Any suspect arrested in connection with a rape case will be charged to court and be prosecuted; they should also know that the offence is not bailable. Even when courts are on strike, the suspects will remain in detention till the strike is called off”.

By Audrey Fine Published: Feb 8, 2008
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My best friend likes this cute boy named Dan. I secretly liked him too, but didn't tell anyone because I didn't want her to find out. One day, I asked Dan to meet me at the gym, and to my surprise, he did! We ended up making out. I tried keeping our tongue workout session a secret, but I accidentally spilled to the girl with the biggest mouth at school. Everyone found out and now Dan and my best friend won't talk to me.
One day in social studies my crush sat next to me. My teacher was writing notes on the board and I didn't want to miss anything. When my crush asked me if he could borrow a pen I searched through my bag without looking. I held it up in the air waiting for him to take it, but he wouldn't take it, so I shouted, "Take the dang pen!" When he still didn't take it, I looked and saw that I was holding up a tampon, not a pen!
I was wearing my new mini skirt at my friend's sleep over party. When I went upstairs to get changed, I bumped into her brother and tripped over, revealing my new thong! He said I looked really hot and kissed me. He asked if he could see my thong again and as I showed him, all of my friends walked in and just stared in shock.
I'm the only person who doesn't have a cell phone, and one day I found a dead cell phone lying around. I wanted to look cool in front of my crush, so I pretended to call him in front of these snotty girls. The next thing I knew, he answered at the very same moment I was yelling, "I love you!" The phone was definitely not dead, but I sure wished I was.
There were some really mean popular girls in my class, and they really annoyed me because they always asked me for candy. One day, I brought Bertie Bott's jelly beans, which have flavors such as soap, grass, dirt, earthworm, and vomit. I gave one of those flavors to them, while I ate a blueberry one. They started gagging like crazy and I told them, "I don't know what you're gagging about. Mine tastes fine." That was the best day of my life.
My friend, Jill, absolutely hates hugs, which is unfortunate for her because Matthew, a very friendly geek, loves giving them. One day, he decided to give me a big hug, which grossed Jill and I out. I wanted to see how Jill would react, so I told him and 3 of his friends to hug her too. She ended up screaming and running around the school like a crazy person, it was hilarious!
I made up this fake game of cops and robbers so that I could have a make out session with my crush. It totally worked, except that his little sister caught on and yelled at me for not playing with her!
One night when my brother's hot friend slept over, I accidentally ran into him in the bathroom. It was a little awkward since I was in my towel getting ready to take a shower. We ended up making out in the bathroom and I didn't have a lonely shower that night.
One day when I was in music class, my crush was supposed to be handing out the music books, but when he came to hand one to me, he held the book tightly in his hand so I couldn't get it. We began playing a sort of tug-of-war game with the book. Finally, when he did let go of the book, it bonked me on my head. He started laughing really hard then he started yelling "Look, she hit her head!" It was so embarrassing, but he got his payback at lunch when he ran right smack into a pole. I think he got what he deserved.
I was at school one day when this hot guy, who is actually kind of a perv, came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I immediately whirled around and slapped him in the face, which left a mark on his cheek! When the teacher asked him what happened, he said he accidentally ran into a locker. I guess he knew if he told on me I would say I only did it because he slapped me on the butt!
My best friend's boyfriend and I got really close over the summer. This year, I have a photo class with him, and one day, while we were in the darkroom developing our photos, we started making out and only stopped when my volleyball coach walked in on us.
My best friend's hot boyfriend had broken up with her, and a few days later, he was checking me out and flirting with me. He asked me out and I said yes, and then he kissed me. I suddenly turned around and saw my best friend with her jaw wide open staring at both of us. We were caught red handed and I felt like the worst friend ever.
I've been spending a lot of time with my friend, who happens to be my BFF's worst enemy. One day, she started gossiping about my BFF, and although I knew it was wrong, I started talking about her too. I realized that I actually didn't like my BFF that much, and reasoned that gossiping about her is better than stressing out directly to her.
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DEIDRE'S STORIES Wes is worried he missed his chance, as his friend Amber is dating again
DEAR DEIDRE My partner's pregnant - but I had a vasectomy before we met
TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT I'm being stalked by my crazy colleague
DRY SPELL My wife thinks we should only have sex once a month but it's not enough
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having sex with my friend’s son.
I didn’t seduce him but his mum says I obviously must have offered him sex on a plate and blames me.
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I am 32 and he’s 19. He seemed a kid a year ago but very much a man when he came home from university after they closed in the spring.
We chatted at my friend’s birthday barbecue in the summer and I had far more to drink than usual.
He was flirting outrageously, telling me I looked so young I could pass for a student. It boosted my ego.
We ended up slipping away from the party and went upstairs to his room.
All the time he was kissing me he was undressing me too and we ended up having sex. It blew my mind.
The next day I felt so guilty I texted him to say we should stay away from each other but he bombarded me with texts and insisted we carry on seeing one another. He was too hot to refuse.
He had a row with his mum one day and blurted out about us. She’s stopped speaking to me.
She believes I cradle snatched her son. His dad and older sisters are not speaking to me either.
I confided in my mum and sister, and they disapprove and told me I shouldn’t get into a relationship with him.
Everyone blames me because I am older, and they think I took advantage.
Nothing could be further from the truth. He’s the one who insists we carry on and gets angry if I argue.
He’s been away at uni since October. Of course I couldn’t visit him but we’ve been very close online.
He’s told his family he’s seeing a girl at uni now, but he tells me he loves me and wants to tell them the truth when he gets home, which will be any day now. I am so scared of their reaction.
Do I call it off and do what everyone else wants, or carry on and risk losing everyone I care about?
AFTER finding love, we might assume our relationship will look after itself.
But we all change, and relationships require time and attention.
My e-leaflet Your Relationship MoT can help you avoid a crisis.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is unfair that everyone blames you. Of course it takes two to tango, but your instinct to call a halt to the fling right from the start was right.
Now you need to let age and experience speak and take a firmer line with your young lover. Be firm that it’s over.
He’s got no right to get angry. It’s probably linked to quite separate tensions with his family but that’s all the more reason to do what is best for you.
It’s not just the age gap, though at 19 he is looking for a very different experience from what is right for you.
You are risking losing people you care about and who care about you. They can see what you are not seeing right now.
Cut free from this guy and move on with your life.
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Amid the clamours for censorship, celibacy and an end to teenagers' rights to confidentiality, Sally Feldman fulminates against the misguided moral crusaders
– By

Sally Feldman

–

Thursday ,
31st

May
2007

Originally published in 2004

At their conference this summer the Association of Teachers and Lecturers passed a motion calling for an age limit on the purchasing of teenage magazines after hearing from teacher Ralph Surman, who criticised them as "inappropriate" and often harmful to the well-being of their young readers. He was echoing the views of self-styled moral campaigners like Conservative MP Gerald Howarth who, earlier this year, lambasted the teenage sector for producing material containing little moral content. He was referring to publications like Sugar ("Is my vagina abnormal?") and Bliss ("Now he's found out I'm not a virgin he's gone off me.")
It's all wearily familiar. Back in the late 1970s I was editor of a raft of teenage confession magazines that specialised in explicit sexual content. Love Affair and Loving , New Love and Hers , like today's teen glossies, purported to be aimed at 17 year olds, but were read by girls as young as 11. Unlike them, mine were cheaply produced, with maybe four editorial colour pages per issue if you were lucky. And even more unlike them, the graphic sex stopped far short of the G-spot. You were lucky if you actually got between the sheets.
Our code of practice would recommend the use of either fire metaphors – "his lips scorched my neck as flames of desire shot through me" – or water: "Floods of desire engulfed me until I was caught up helplessly in wave after wave of ecstasy." Though not both together.
We would be able to say lips but not mouth, legs but not thighs, hardness but not, as I recall, erection. I can't tell you how many thrusting members had to be cut, however urgently they pressed. And we would never let in any swelling manhoods. It was a thousand multiple orgasms away from today's earthy recipes for ten ways to turn him on and how to make him gag for it.
Yet, just like Sugar , Cosmo Girl and Bliss , my quaintly innocent titles would regularly be castigated in the Commons, blamed for the rise in teenage pregnancies with calls for bans and censorship. And just like their editors, my colleagues and I would patiently point out that our publications were brimming with information and advice for young women who would often read nothing else.
The eminently sane Teenage Magazine Arbitration Panel agrees that the magazines provide much-needed education alongside the fashion tips, pin-ups and makeovers. Their arguments evidently convinced Lord McIntosh, the minister for media and heritage, who has firmly dismissed the calls for age-stamped restrictions on the magazines.
Concern about the content of teenage magazines is usually linked to panic about the rise in teenage pregnancies, and this time coincided with the story of Michelle Smith, a 14year old who had an abortion without telling her mother. Maureen Smith, who discovered what had happened by accident, attacked her daughter's school for not informing her even though the girl's advisers were acting perfectly legally. She was joined by hordes of gleeful supporters eager to denounce the government's sex education policy.
The story was blazoned over front pages, complete with photos of Michelle, just as the government was about to launch its campaign to reassure young women of confidentiality over contraception or abortion help. Same old, same old
In 1984, the year my daughter was born, anti-contraception campaigner Victoria Gillick was engaged in what was to become a regular bid to overturn the rights of underage teenagers to confidentiality when seeking contraceptive advice. Along with hundreds of other mothers, I contributed my name to a full-page advertisement in the Guardian in which we pledged our support for our children to obtain advice without our knowledge.
It felt like a powerful gesture at the time. But it's a bit different once the gurgling baby is a real, live adolescent and beginning to bring boys home. That's when you really have to keep your nerve. It's troubling for any mother to accept that her delicious, unselfconscious, tree-climbing, Polly-Pocketed, kitten-adoring girl will any minute be tossing her hair, flashing her midriff and learning to fly. And the transformation seems to be happening so early that we fear we are being robbed of their childhoods. The knowingness of young children unsettles us, as I discovered the day my son, then aged three, told me on the way home from the nursery that his friend Zak had found a condom on the patio. He added, puzzled: "What's a patio?"
No one is thrilled that little girls are worrying about their figures at five, their boobs at ten, swapping kissing techniques at the pony club, wearing lipstick to the pantomime and considering their first vaginal tuck as their periods begin. They are growing up faster. But you can't blame the magazines for that. And you can't reverse the trend with blindfolds. Which is what the new celibacy brigade are keen to do.
This summer sees the UK launch of the Silver Ring Thing – a programme which encourages teenagers to abstain f
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