Young Submissive

Young Submissive
Submissive people tend to carry a painful past which causes them to be the way they are, not wanting to stand out in order to avoid furthermore suffering.
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Moors, A., & De Houwer, J. (2005). Automatic processing of dominance and submissiveness. Experimental Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1027/1618-3169.52.4.296 Fournier, M. A., Moskowitz, D. S., & Zuroff, D. C. (2009). The interpersonal signature. Journal of Research in Personality. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2009.01.023 Yüksel-Şahin, F. (2015). An Examination of Bullying Tendencies and Bullying Coping Behaviors Among Adolescents. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.04.415 Perren, S., & Alsaker, F. D. (2006). Social behavior and peer relationships of victims, bully-victims, and bullies in kindergarten. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-7610.2005.01445.x Olweus, D. (2000). Bullying. In Encyclopedia of Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-012617955-2/50012-6
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Submissive people typically don’t raise their voice, they keep themselves in second place and abide by whatever more authoritative people may demand from them.
However, this type of attitude can sometimes lead a person into being involved in a harmful and unhealthy relationship. Ultimately, they may become a victim. However, it’s complicated to change this way of being.
It’s not that these type of people don’t want to stop being submissive, but rather because their past experiences have led them to acquire certain psychological traits that they can’t easily get rid of.
Their lack of assertiveness pushes them to adopt a secondary position in a group job, for example. All of this is due to their great struggle for expressing their point of view or opinions.
Although they may wish to do so, they feel self-conscious and withdraw themselves. They believe that what they think won’t be taken into consideration and even end up doubting their own opinions .
Submissive people aren’t necessarily born with this way, but instead have gone through experiences that little by little have caused them to withdraw within themselves and become who they are.
A childhood where parents have an unhealthy relationship or teenage years filled with constant bullying can be more than enough reasons for someone to take on a totally submissive role.
Low self esteem and insecurity causes them to feel useless unless they offer themselves to others’ disposal.
This isn’t healthy for them, because in the long run, they become very vulnerable to being easily harmed.
Conflicts make them very nervous, maybe because it reminds them of a previous experience.
The problem about this is that in order to avoid conflict, they will lower their heads, take on what they aren’t willing to accept and not give themselves the place they deserve.
This concern of avoiding any type of conflict or discussion causes a lot of exhaustion.
Some may confuse it with shyness, bit in reality, it’s a way of being unnoticed and a way of not standing out.
Submissive people experience great anxiety over what others may think about them. That is why they tend to dress and act in an extremely discrete way.
This will guarantee them avoiding any situation that may result humiliating or that may possibly generate some kind of conflict.
Submissive people tend to think too much about others and are so vulnerable that they need someone to protect them.
Therefore, it’s completely natural for them to end up in dependent relationships where the other person gives meaning to their life, and at the same time offers protection.
This is also thought to be true for relationships where abuse is present. Even though the other person doesn’t treat them well, in their minds they’re saying, “…at least I have someone”.
This is truly a point of view that exposes them to suffering a great deal from their relationships.
Have you been in contact with submissive people? Are you a submissive person? Breaking away from this state of maximum submission is possible, but it requires hard work and awareness of what is actually going on.
It’s possible to learn to be more assertive, raise your self esteem and to also get rid of any insecurity that makes you feel worthless.
After all, submissive peopler tend to suffer a lot.
Their attitude attracts violent and aggressive people, so much so that with time and some harm they must finally recognize the need to start giving themselves the appreciation they deserve.
"You didn't do a good job today" "If I were you I wouldn't have made that decision"... All day long we're subject to criticism. So today you'll lea...
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A Beginner's Guide On How To Be A Good Submissive
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By Kinkly — Written on Oct 10, 2020
In the realm of BDSM relationships , a submissive is an individual who willingly relinquishes control to another person, usually to satisfy a sexual urge. If you're here reading this, chances are the thought of submitting to another person has piqued your interest or has even gotten your sexual juices flowing, so to speak.
Don't worry, you're not weird. Far from it, really. In fact, sexual submissiion is one of the most common fantasies .
— 1.8% of sexually active people (2.2% of men, 1.3% of women) said they had been involved in BDSM in the previous year.
— 12% of women and 22% of men reported erotic response to an S/M story.
— 56% of women and 50% of men reported having responded erotically to being bitten.
Clearly, for many people, the fantasy of being ordered around, spanked, and generally coerced to perform sexual acts can seem thrilling. The question for those who haven't actually done it, however, is where to start. And if you want to be a submissive, what do you really need to know?
Becoming a submissive is not a decision that should be made lightly. Before you decide to take the plunge and put yourself at the mercy of another, educate yourself on all things submission.
First, some excellent books have been written on the subject of submission and dominance, and there are some very valuable online communities that cater to both veterans and novices. The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino provides an educated look at the topic, while SM 101 by Jay Wiseman provides the fundamentals of safe, sane S/M.
Another way to learn more about what it's like to become a submissive is to attend a "munch." A munch (short for "burger munch") is a casual social gathering for individuals interested in the dominant/submissive lifestyle. Attending these gatherings is a great way to connect with experienced individuals and learn more about the lifestyle .
Not surprisingly, submissive behavior typically comes very naturally to true submissives. But how can you tell if you're a true submissive?
Generally, true submissives have a desire to please a more dominant person and may even be turned on by the thought of being humiliated or overpowered. But don't think for a second that all submissives bend to everyone's whims in their everyday lives. Some submissives are individuals in truly powerful positions who simply want a release from their responsibilities from time to time.
On the flip side, however, if submitting to another person turns you off, being a submissive probably isn't for you. Instead, you could look into becoming a dominant or even a switch (someone who participates in BDSM as both a dominant and a submissive).
Finally, ask yourself honestly why you want to become a submissive. Is it because you truly enjoy the idea of relinquishing power to a dominant person? Or is it because your partner wants to dominate you? Remember, dominant/submissive relationships must always be consensual. Never become a submissive if you feel that you're being pressured into it.
There are a few different distinct levels of dominance and submission. Some people, for instance, simply use dominance and submission to add a little spice to their sex lives. This typically includes fantasy role-playing in the bedroom from time to time, with some light spanking , dirty talk or bondage.
Part-time submissives find that the submissive lifestyle is a much more important part of their lives. They may transform into a submissive during certain times, such as during sex or when visiting a BDSM club. They will often invest in outfits and other props, but won't usually let their role interfere with other areas of their lives.
Full-time submissives, on the other hand, are usually the hard-core players in the BDSM game. These types of submissives may even be looking to live in a full-time dominant/submissive relationship. They will usually relinquish all control to their dominate in most if not all areas of their lives. Many of these relationships also involve signed contracts.
As with all things in life, when it comes to dominance and submission, it's usually best to start small and work your way up. Maybe try a little fantasy role-playing before you completely submit to a full-time dominant.
Does the thought of being caned make you want to cower in the corner? Do handcuffs and spreader bars raise your hackles? As you delve into the world of dominance and submission, you're bound to come across more than a few things that test your comfort zone.
You know what we're talking about — the things that make you go "Yikes!" Don't let these things turn you off of submission completely, though. Keep in mind that just because others enjoy something doesn't mean that you have to. Know your limits and stand firm.
While communication is important in any relationship, it's absolutely essential in a dominant/submissive relationship. Now's not the time to be shy; if you're uncomfortable with the thought of sharing your innermost sexual desires and turn-offs it can really affect your safety, not to mention whether your enjoy your encounters.
As a submissive, you must be willing and able to openly communicate with your partner or partners to ensure that all sex play is truly consensual. Before a scene or relationship begins, you and your partners should share your wants, desires, and sexual fantasies. However, it is equally important to make your partners aware of any turn-offs and limits you may have. Make your limits known and set boundaries as soon as possible.
In recent years, the term "safe, sane and consensual" has become something of a motto for the BDSM community and BDSM play. If you're looking into BDSM play for the first time, or even if you're a hardened veteran, safety should be a number one priority.
To be clear, whether you're flogging someone or submitting them to some other delicious torture, there is an element of danger or potential harm in any BDSM activity. Always take the time to learn how to properly and safely use any toys and props, and always establish a safeword before beginning any BDSM play.
This simple word or phrase can be spoken by a submissive at any time they want to slow down or stop a scene, no questions asked. Of course, words like "stop" and "no" should also be avoided when choosing a safeword, since they can often be used to heighten the excitement during a scene.
If you're willing to take that first step into a dominant/submissive relationship, it's imperative that you're able to distinguish fantasy from reality. Unless you have another arrangement, you and your dominant should keep in mind that your role-playing is just that: playing.
Don't let your dominant's words and actions get to you, and maintain your self-respect. However, remember that unless you communicate with your dominant, he or she will simply assume that you're satisfied with how your relationship is going. Of course, if your partner doesn't respect you enough to stop overstepping your limits, respect yourself enough to end the relationship.
Don't expect to read a few articles on the Internet and then be able to call yourself a submissive. No matter how eager you are to learn and experiment, you won't become a submissive overnight. Becoming a true submissive takes a great deal of time and patience. In fact, many submissives may even go through a formal "training" period, which can take months or even years.
And if you do decide to open this new chapter in your life, have fun with it. You may choose to close it in the future, or it may become a big part of who you are. Either way, learn what you can from the experience and, most importantly, enjoy it.
CJ Edwards is a freelance writer nestled in the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania. After a much too long stint as a bartender, she began her career in 2010. Since then, she has written thousands of articles and blog posts on dozens of topics, ranging from home improvement to income tax to naughty tidbits.
This article was originally published at Kinkly . Reprinted with permission from the author.
The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. See additional information
© 2022 by Tango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved.

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I believe that EVERY couple deserves a relationship built on trust and honesty. Where we can be whole. Our true selves.

I believe that BDSM is one of the most beautiful and powerful ways to grow there together.

I believe that we were trained from a young age to hide what we truly desire in a relationship. Our thoughts of what we think a relationship should look like, prevent us from being radically honest. Therefore we rarely experience true love, true vulnerability, and complete surrender.

I believe that your relationship is WORTH it to explore your desires and fantasies. It deserves the whole of you. I believe that the potential of your relationship is endless, and you and your partner together can create magic. No holding back. You deserve to be in the light, all of you, proud, vulnerable, and beautiful.

I believe that the world needs more BDSM. More unconditional, vulnerable, honest lovemaking. Because you deserve a relationship that brings the best out of you.

Submissive Training: slave positions. For Dominants and submissives in a BDSM relationship
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My wife came to me and said that she could not continue to work at the office and I asked why and she said that at the office she was in charge. She said that it was hard to instruct them in what to do when she was wearing short dresses and that also when she gets home she has to totally change her mind to not questioning or organising or leading but to be quiet and submissive. I said that we will write a letter of resignation so we did. This morning she took the letter into work. Then she called me and said that they have asked if she could continue to work there but just not in the managers position. I said yes that sounded like a good idea. So now they are swapping her and one of her underlings has been promoted to the managers position. The new manager is much younger, female and very self confident.

From the op: from the day we were married I'd insisted on obedience and submission. I imposed some rules. One was skirts and dresses and looking feminine. Being quiet. Responding in conversation rather than initiating. Serving. Looking to look after others. We would practice being submissive at home. When out together I would insist on Mini skirts. Then I started requiring them even when she was on her own.

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