Young Pretty Maids

Young Pretty Maids

June 24, 2010 | Feyma | 34 Comments
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Feyma Martin is a Columnist here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine, she is the wife of site Publisher, Bob Martin. Feyma is originally from the Philippines, but went to the USA for 10 years after marrying Bob in 1990. Bob & Feyma moved to the Philippines to live permanently in 2000.

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I am talking now about employing a younger maid in our household. A lot of them came from the province with little education. They have to work because their parents can’t afford for them to continue their education. Most of them came from a very large family I mean large with 8-10 siblings in the family. Some had to make the sacrifice of not continuing their education to give way for the older or younger siblings, or the smartest kid in the family.
I’ve employed some of them. Feeling sorry for them because its not their fault to be born that way. When we first moved here my gosh I really had a hard time adjusting to that situation. We had a maid that was young and wanted to be in school. So a lot of times you tell them that if you work with us for certain months or a year maybe the next school year you will enroll them. Some were trilled others were just not interested. The are scared to go to school again being that they are the oldest in the class. Some classmates might make fun of them or bully them. I’ve always told them that its in your advantage being the oldest because they will listen to you. Still it doesn’t work out though. Some of their parents will not agree with the kids going back to school because the money that they were sending home will be less then.
More and more maids now are getting younger and younger when they are employed. The parents really have a hard time earning money. Some kids go for a maid at the age of 14 or 15. Some kids would even lie how old they are just to get the job. A bit scary for the employers though. To be honest we had a young man before when we used to live in GenSan . He applied to be a houseboy, his name was Greggy. He must be around 16 or 17 years old. But he was small in size because of lacking of nutrition and having worked hard for the family. He was the neighbor of my parents. He was really not in good shape when I first saw him. I told my sister I can’t accept this kid because for one reason he is young and for #2 reason he just so small that I think he can’t really do the job. After I said those word I saw the willingness and the determination of this kid. With what I saw I told him that I would give him a test. So I told Greggy that if you can push that front gate in our house without having a hard time I will hire you right away. Wow I saw the spark in his eyes and he showed me and my sister that he had the strength to opened the gate. So right there and then I hired Greggy. See our gate on our house in GenSan somehow it so hard to open, the wheels just get stuck lots of times, but Greggy managed to open it. He also had some hearing problems but it got better later with the good food and some care. He really turned out to be a fine man. Of all the helpers and the houseboys we have had, Greggy is one that I can be proud of. Bob and I really taught him a lot. We treated him like our family. It was hard to say goodbye to him. He had to leave because of family reason and one of my nieces was kind of mean to him. The kids love him deeply even my mother-in-law loved him too. Greggy stayed with us for almost 7 years. Greggy really was so thankful of the stuff we taught him. He always says that to my family and friends. It really is a good feeling to know that.
For 10 years of living here we have gone through so many maids. They will do really good at first, then they got distracted with TV, computer and other stuff then they don’t care if the job gets done or not. I now don’t want my maids to play on the computer. I’ve discover my maids posting not pleasant pictures on the net. We had a few young maids that when they first came here to the house they didn’t know a thing. We really took the time to teach them and some really were thankful for the teaching. Some of them used the knowledge that they learned from us and have a better life later. Some were just so lazy and don’t want to work hard and they end up going back the life that they had before or worse. Some of them I really felt sorry for because they really don’t have the desire to change their life. They think that they will just be a maid forever. That’s what they have been learning and knowing with friends. They will not continue on with their education because its costly. I will always tell our maid a story of a dear friend’s cousin who worked as a maid. She studied and work her way up to be a nurse with no monkey business around. That is another good and learning story to tell.
Anyway, really its not a reason to be young or old to work as a maid. It is the willingness and the desire to work. Nothing wrong to be working as a maid. You can earned the knowledge from it and apply to your life later. Lots of them that had the desire succeed in life. I’ve known and met a lot of them here and in my 10 years stay in the States.
I feel sorry for the lazy ones. I mean, it’s a problem, but I don’t think they are even able to think about they cost of their laziness. Most kids live in the moment. I would think cutting entertainment sources, and giving remidners of ‘at home life’ would respark the reality… maybe.
Hi Jawz – Laziness is really a big problem nowadays though. Then comes the TV shows, soap opera ( they call it here teleserye).Lots of the shows from Korea, Mexico. Actors from those other countries but they had the voice change into Tagalog. My gosh, the youngsters really are hook to it. I had a maid that was hook to it before. I can’t have her watch TV while we are cooking dinner. Not sure of reminding where they came from really help. I think they have to have the drive and desire to succeed really to achieve what they … Read more »
feyma,
i like your blog and it reflect what kind of family i had. We experienced working at a young age just to educate ourselves and to have a good life someday. We tried to overcome the poverty that we faced before, though we still poor on this time.But my family always hoping to live with sufficient income and to provides our own needs.
How Young is Too Young? You should fix that.
My bad… I let that pass me by! Thanks for the heads up, Carl.
Carl – Thanks. Too much in my mind.
Hi Feyma, Concerning returning someone to school, I believe there is also a program known there as ” Sunday School “. Not the kind of ” Sunday School ” most Americans like myself would think of as being Church School in learning about religion. My understanding of ” Sunday School ” in the Philippines is exactly for some of those you have described in your article. For those who for what ever reason could not finish formal education in a traditional school setting. Also for the most part age is not a factor in Philippines ” Sunday School ” and … Read more »
Hi Bob New York – Yes Sunday school is pretty popular nowadays. I had niece and nephew that finished high school and college in Sunday school. It really worked out good for them. I’ve known lots of people too that had their maid studies in Sunday school.
Yes thats how the Sunday school the way you described it.
Thank you for your nice comment. Take care!
My wife believes that a Filipina should not hire a young maid, if she is married. With the number of maid/male employer affairs I have witnessed, I must concur. As my wife will not be with me for much of the first two years that I am there, I fully expect to have an 80 year old maid! Truthfully, we rarely had issues when living in Davao before, though we had 5 maids, all around the age of 16. Aside from room & board, we sent the maids to university & gave them bonuses, periodically, so that they could assist … Read more »
Hi Mike – I’ve known and seen some friends that won’t hire younger maids. With me and Bob it just not a problem. I’m always the one working with the maids in the house. I had my nieces here helping me in the kitchen. I trained my niece on the kitchen pretty well. Bob trained my other nice to be his assistant on the BBQ department. They worked well together. One niece been with us for 7 years now and the other niece and nephew been with us for almost 5 years now. 2 of them we sent to school … Read more »
Hi Feyma, We also had the misfortune of a family member/maid affair. My conservative wife was pretty upset to say the least. Fortunately, it was her family member involved and the end result was that it caused a freeloader to be shamed into moving out. I expressed relief that if this young lady was of this nature that it was good that she was gone before she had a chance to accuse me of any wrong doing. I shuddered at the thought that she might make an accusation even though I would surely reject any advances by her. I explained … Read more »
Well put about the learning curve for working in a foreigners home Mike. 16 is a fine age to start working but I have been in business for myself now for a long time and have come to expect certain things from employees. But people have to remember if you want someone that does everything for you you really need a personal assistant. A maid is there to clean the house Period. I think this job can be done by just about anyone and I don’t expect a lot from a maid so young or old is of no concern … Read more »
I just don’t get why it so hard to keep a maid. I am not bragging or anything, but it is really easy in my house because both my wife and I work and are not there all day, and I don’t have any children — and I have a washing machine and dryer — and the house is airconditioned — yet they last at most 4 to 5 months!
Hi Miguk – Wow everything you described was really good but why just 4-5 months? They should stay with you in years since not much to do. Do you just employ 1 maid? Some don’t stay because they are scared to be alone in the house. I heard that statement lately by a maid of my friend. I told her if it would be me I would rather be alone in the house so that I get my job done immediately. I don’t have to rely on others to do it. Really hard to figure them out. Good to see … Read more »
I don’t know why either….the job is too easy. Maybe they don’t like my cats hahahaha
This is not on topic, “how young is too young”, but more about maids in general. We more or less do not have one in the sense you all seem to be talking aobut. We employ two people around the house: my wife’s aunt in the garden and a man who cleans the house for three hours in the morning and then works outdside. My wife scrubs the two bathrooms each day since she cannot get anyone here to do it right (according to her standards). She also does all the cooking, with help in cutting vegetables from her aunt. … Read more »
Hi ProfDon – I’m happy that it worked out good for you guys.
Hey with helping the family, Bob and I share our sentiments with you. We have the same problems with our nieces before. No thank you or anything from them. At the end they will blamed you for their misfortune. Try to really see who deserves to be help. You can’t afford helping all of them. Try to be careful also.
The whole lack of thank you really irritates me. Extended family comes unannounced, expects to be feted, and don’t have the courtesy to say thank you when they leave. Is that a cultural thing? Is it just expected cause it is family and I have more than them?
My wifes Mother has a saying,” If they dont want to learn they deserve whatever they get.” Roughly translated I think.
She is tough on them and even tougher on her kids, and they thank her for it. She gives them 2 chances and they are out cold.
My wifes mother only takes kids that ask (beg) her to send them to school. This way they are more appreciative.
Hi Jack – Good for your mother-in-law. I wished I’d thought of that before sending some of my nieces to a good school.
To be honest i have a large family and we dont have any sources of income except my father working in other farm. We dont have any choice to educate ourselves. At age of 10 we started to work as working student with different employers just to educate ourselves and looking forward to have a good life. Some of my siblings graduated from college and some from Vocational. Its very hard to work at a young age but it help us to look forward and to aim high. It give us encouragement to do our best and to experience a … Read more »
Hi Felix – Wow, you really worked hard at an early age. We had similar back ground being parents as a farmer. I helped out at our farm during my grade school days.
It really comes down to the desire and willingness to succeed.
Great article. You have the correct approach with working with the maids. A younger person needs guidance and supervision in any job. It will help them later in life.
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Every-body's house-should
have-a maid...

A maid
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Every-body's house should have a maid!
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Full view of one at left

Alice wonders who wouldn't want to be a maid
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Curtis A.
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Young Pretty Maids

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