Young Boys Play With Penis
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Q: OK, my son is now 3 years old and has started to play with his penis. He tells me it is âbig,â and I am not sure how to respond to this. I have never seen this topic discussed. How do you explain privacy to a small boy and get him to keep his penis in his pants?
A: Have no fearâyou are not alone. This is a very common phenomenon at this age and totally normal. Your son is exploring and learning about his body, and he is telling you what he thinks about it! This is a good thing. You want to make sure he has a positive body image, so how you deal this interaction is very important.
First off, if you find yourself speechless, simply repeating back to him a version of what he said (Yes, youâre a big boy and growing every day) buys you some time and validates his observation. Responding in a positive way builds your sonâs sense of self and his language skills as you talk together about his observations.
Itâs also important to put his growing body awareness in context by saying something along the lines of: You have a big, strong body and your penis is an important part of it. Itâs how you go pee-pee and I know it also feels good to touch it. You can also point out his strong legs, his tall body, his wiggly toes, his tickly belly button, and all his other body parts. This builds his vocabulary and gives him a better understanding of his own body.
Also keep in mind that the more matter-of-factly (and less emotionally!) you respond to his penis comments, the less power it gives them, making it less likely that he will dwell on them. (My friend who forbade the word âbuttâ with her 4-year-old was dismayed to hear how quickly he was able to switch tactics and begin every sentence with âButâŠâ to get around the rule.) The key is to be comfortable with the language you are using and the information you are sharing. When you talk with him about this behavior, do it in a way that is gentle and non-judgmental. Young children are very sensitive and pick up on our tone of voice and facial expressions, not just our words. If he senses that you are angry or embarrassed by his actions, it can cause shame, which can have lasting, negative effects on his body image.
When you see your son playing with his penis, establish some common sense limits around this behavior and explain why. For example: Your penis is a private part of your body. Thatâs why we go to the potty in privateâin the bathroom. So when you want to touch your penis, you need to do it in private, like in the bathroom or in your bedroom.
When you see him putting his hands in his pants, as subtly as possible, go to him and remind him that he either needs to stop or to go somewhere private. Some parents establish a special signal with their child that reminds him what the rule is so as not to embarrass him in front of others. And remember, as you help your son learn the new rules around touching his penis, he will need many reminders.
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Posted on September 4, 2018 October 9, 2019 by Susan Taylor
Posted on September 4, 2018 October 9, 2019 by Susan Taylor
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Erections are a natural function for a healthy male, but when they start occurring in babies and little boys it can be a little disconcerting â especially for mums! Not sure if itâs normal? Hereâs everything youâve wanted to know about erections in children (but were too embarrassed to ask!).
A baby boy can start having erections from a very early age, while theyâre still in the womb to be precise! So donât be shocked if you see your newborn with one when youâre changing his nappy or having a bath. Then as little boys grow and become more mobile, theyâll naturally explore their body â including touching their penis and maybe even trying to make it erect.Â
Therefore, itâs quite common for both babies and toddlers to have frequent erections . However, unlike adult erections, they wonât lead to ejaculation. This doesnât happen until puberty, which on average is around the age of 11 or older. Phew!
There are many different causes of erections in children, and theyâre not all sexual. In newborns, often there is no apparent reason â it could just be the air hitting their genitals when you change them, or perhaps their bladder is full, and they need to urinate.
While it may be a bit shocking to see at first, thereâs no need to worry. Itâs completely normal and is a good sign that everything is functioning correctly down there.
In older babies and toddlers, however, the erection might be a result of them touching, rubbing or playing with their penis as theyâve worked out it feels pleasurable. Again, this is entirely normal and shouldnât be discouraged. But there are some ways to help manage this so that itâs not uncomfortable or embarrassing for you, them or anyone else.Â
Itâs very important that your child doesnât feel ashamed or like theyâre doing something wrong by having an erection or touching themselves. However, no one wants to see this at the dinner table or the park either.
Stay calm at all times and gently explain to your child that thereâs a time and place for penis play â in private only.
Although he may want to do it at other times, he must wait until heâs by himself. Some young boys also rub their penis on things like the bed before sleep or toys as a way of comforting themselves which can be a difficult habit to break.Â
Not all little boys find erections pleasurable. Some kids are frightened by the change in their penis or find it uncomfortable or painful, especially if the erection is quite strong and lasts for a while. Donât be surprised if your little boy tells you it hurts or cries out in pain. If you can see he has an erection, simply explain to him that itâs a normal thing that sometimes happens to boys. Help him to feel more comfortable â either by putting loose pants on or giving him a bath .Â
Most erections are normal and harmless in children and go down by themselves fairly quickly with no issues. However, there are a few instances when it might be something more serious. If your sonâs erection lasts for more than an hour, thereâs redness or a rash, he has a fever, or it looks very swollen, then itâs best to take him to the doctor for an assessment.
If the erections are particularly painful and prolonged, it could be a condition called priapism which usually only occurs in adult men or boys aged five to ten years who have a disease such as leukaemia or trauma to their penis or pelvis (often from child abuse). If left untreated, it can result in permanent erectile or penile dysfunction. If your sonâs erections are regularly painful and last a long time, then see a doctor immediately.
If youâre concerned at all about your childâs erections or genitalia, then please speak to a doctor.
https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1227-my-3-year-old-son-has-started-to-play-with-his-penis-how-should-i-handle-this
https://babyology.com.au/health/family-health/awkward-everything-to-know-about-little-boys-and-their-erections/
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Young Boys Play With Penis
