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I am always on the hunt for waterproof shoes, and if they are sneakers, even better. My complaints for waterproof shoes are that they’re usually clunky, heavy, and ill-fitting. The shoes I would wear for being outdoors/commuting wouldn’t be ones I would also want to wear all day in the office. Also, on the days I would travel/sightsee, I would need comfortable shoes that could also withstand any weather.
It looks like this brand is serious about their waterproof sneakers — it seems to be the only type of shoe they make. These are currently on major sale, with an extra 10% off with code WATERPROOFME, and they’re available in both black and white.
The shoes are $99, down from $249.99, at Loomfootwear.com. Waterproof Sneakers
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April is a working mom, a longtime reader of CorporetteMoms, and wrote our morning fashion advice for working moms from April 2018 to October 2020. She has one child (born 2/17!) and she’s a public interest lawyer in NYC.
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I have trail running shoes that are waterproof and I wear them for the same purposes.
Actually, living in the Northeast, they’re my go-to sneakers in the winter. I bought them for trail running but have gotten much more wear for winter runs on the regular roads than for trails. I bought mine at a local running store and they’re also designed to help you keep grip – pretty clutch when it’s wet or icy.
Likewise. Merrells forever. I’ve only had to break out the Yaktrax a few times in the past few years!
What happens if you don’t sleep train a baby? At some point, will they be big enough to sleep through the night without going through that kind of process, or is that a prerequisite?
DD slept like a dream in the Snoo until she outgrew it at around six months. Post-Snoo life has been rockier: she’s almost nine months, and she wakes up two or three times a night to nurse and will only fall back asleep in my arms. If she wakes up when I’m putting her in her crib, she’s upset, we end up going back to the chair to nurse some more and try again. Functionally, this means I’m in the nursery for several hours a night, sometimes all night, and sleeping late in the morning once DH takes over.
This wouldn’t be sustainable if we weren’t both teleworking. But given that we’re home literally all the time, I feel Ike the cost/benefit analysis weighs against sleep training for me right now. I’m glad that she’s continuing to nurse at night, since she’s lost some interest in nursing during the day. I do need to find some more productive hours work-wise; my day functionally starts at 9:30 or so and winds down at 6 or 6:30, when dinner kicks off the evening wind down to bedtime and then I’m back in the nursery soon after. I’m willing to trade some productivity and a sore neck for this time with her. At nine months, I think we’re in the home stretch of the baby days (and nights). I am enjoying this sleepy, cozy time with her. I don’t feel inclined not to nurse if that’s what helps her wind down. But I’m not sure if this becomes easier or harder as she gets older; I don’t want to have a two year-old who only sleeps in my arms, especially once we’re back in offices from nine to five.
Am I just delaying something we’ll eventually have to do? And if so, is there a drawback to continuing to delay? Is this a mistake? I would appreciate any words of wisdom!
I think that if you guys are happy and you are enjoying this time, then you should continue to enjoy it as long as it works for your family. Your baby will eventually figure it out, or you will help her figure it out.
(and I say this as someone who did NOT enjoy getting up with their kids and sleep trained both of them at nine weeks)
Agree completely! Do what works for your family, including maximizing sleep for all of you to meet all of your sleep needs as far as possible. And I say this as someone at the opposite end of things: we never sleep trained at all.
Kid 1 probably could’ve done with some sleep training but we were in a studio then a 1br at the time so it was kind of a non-starter. Kid 2 is a significantly better sleeper than her brother. I enjoy baby snuggles, and sometimes that meant cosleeping with infants/ young toddlers. But each kid figured out how to sleep independently when I needed them to, in ways that fit our circumstances: kid 1 gleefully adopted his big kid bed at 3, kid 2 loved her twin mattress on the floor at 18 months.
What this tells me is that there is huge variation in what works. If you need more uninterrupted sleep, there are lots of options. You could drop a nursing session, cosleep after nursing in the middle of the night, or hand baby off to partner after you nurse.
You need to sleep as well but you don’t have to sleep train in the form of CIO if that doesn’t feel right for your family. Keeping a hand on baby’s chest for a few minutes after I put them in the crib tended to help keep them asleep. DH and I alternated nights of putting them down. If you’re still getting nighttime wake ups regularly, try upping the solid food intake throughout the day, greek yoghurt has tons of protein or peanut butter on toast before bed if dinner is more than an hour before bed can also help. You might also look at your nap routine – at least 4 hours of awake time after the last nap, and two naps a day not three at nine months. You can nurse, morning, before each nap, and before bed. 4-5 times a day is plenty at this age.
We used the ‘No Cry Sleep Solution’ by Pantley with success on all three kids. This board tends to be pretty pro-CIO but there are other options if you don’t want to go that route. If CIO doesn’t feel right for you, pick up the Pantley book and give it a try.
I don’t think there is any drawback to delaying IF you are ok with your current setup. There is a slimchance that your baby will magically start sleeping all on her own, but right now she clearly needs nursing to get back to sleep (which is ok if you’re ok with it). We sleep trained my first at 18 months and it still worked. Sleep trained my second at 10 months. The lack of sleep was making me unhappy and resentful, and an unhappy mommy wasn’t good for our family. But being able to get to sleep yourself and put yourself back to sleep is a good skill. FWIW – anyone I know who never did any sort of sleep training (and there are many methods that aren’t Ferber/cry it out), has children in their bed or who wake up still at 4-5.
+1. You can sleep train your kid at any age (it doesn’t need to be CIO – there are many ways to teach your kid, especially an older one, to stay in bed). So keep doing what feels right now, and change it when it stops working.
Some kids do magically start sleeping all night, but that wasn’t the case with my kids (as much as I love extended breastfeeding, it does seem to be the formula fed kids with no b**b attachment who do so). So you will probably have to do *something* to improve sleep, but there is a big range of techniques.
My kids were awful sleepers. They fought bedtime and we would take hours each night to get them to bed, only to get up and do it again a few times a night. Friends and family tried to help and nothing worked. We hired a sleep consultant and tried a bunch of methods, and although I’ve blocked a lot of the details, I know that in the third week of extinction training the sleep consultant finally said some babies just don’t take to sleep training and gave us a graceful way of giving up. My second gave all the signs of being similar to the oldest so we didn’t make it quite as far, but also gave up.
By about 15 months both of them were fabulous sleepers. They transitioned from the crib to a twin bed (with a railing) with no problems, not even waking up once. I didn’t do anything, it’s like they decided one day to finally sleep through the night. I have friends who still have their five year olds climbing into bed with them at night, but other than super sick times, mine have never even asked to get in my bed.
I know this is anecdata, but there’s definitely a chance the world’s worst sleeper will become a champion sleeper if left to their own devices.
We never sleep-trained any of my kids. By 2 they were all sleeping 7:30pm-6:30am in their own beds.
I’m a transactional biglaw associate who, like you, appreciated the night nursing/snuggles since I didn’t get much of that during the day. I co-slept (with baby in a crib sidecar-ed to our bed, mattresses on the same level so I could just pull baby over to nurse and then roll her back when done) until 12ish months, then we transition straight to a twin bed on the floor in their own room so I can lay in bed with them there and nurse/snooze. Around 11-13 months I also work more on separating nursing from sleeping.
I night wean around 18-19 months (which is very, very easy at that age) and fully wean around 23-25 months. Between night weaning and age two we also talk more about how they are growing up and need more sleep at night time, and mama does too, and help them develop strategies like snuggling an animal, pulling up their blankets, turning over, etc. when they wake up at night, so by 2 they are sleeping entirely independently after book/song/prayers at bedtime.
No crying, no fighting, just lots of sleepy baby snuggles. I know this approach is not for everyone but since you said the cost/benefit analysis for you right now is in favor of continuing to nurse to sleep, I wanted to share my experience to indicate that you absolutely can continue to do that for now and still have a kid who sleeps well by themselves next year, you do not have to do formal sleep training.
I guess the question is- how much longer will you be teleworking? Would it be easier to do some of the sleep training now (like night wean) so you don’t have to do it all in a transition period?
I resisted sleep training for as long as possible as well, but it was a complete game changer. Short-term pain for huge long-term benefits. Your baby doesn’t need to nurse multiple times a night. Tending to her two or three times a night is a lot for a nine month baby. I never had to do that at nine months unless my baby had an ear infection or something. I wouldn’t rule out sleep training.
This was me. With my first, I coslept for 13 months and nursed 3-4 times a night at least (latch on and fall asleep) until I’d had enough. For a long time I felt physically ill hearing her cry. Then at 12 months something clicked and I was over it. At 13 months, we used a crunchy RIE thinking sleep consultant but she basically did a graduated extinction plan. I think it was harder because of my toddler’s age. She’d stand up an refuse to lay down for hours. Eventually it took though and I was much better off.
For my second we did Taking Cara Babies ABCs at 5 months (again just graduated extinction). For me, I wish I did it that soon with my first. He’s a better sleeper overall. Some of it may be just a different personality but I know I didn’t have to undo as many sleep crutches the second time around.
Since sleep training is all about consistency, I’d just be concerned that holding off until too late will make it harder for the parents to stay consistent. A toddler can express a whole range of emotions to sway you that a younger baby cannot.
I will add that even with my second I kept a timed once a night feed until he hit 9 mos old. I was afraid of dropping it and then prompting early morning wake ups. I think he was ready to drop it sooner than I was though.
My SIL never sleep trained her first. Their son took forever to go to sleep, woke up a bunch at night, and wouldn’t go back to sleep except in their bed. They read all the books and even hired a sleep consultant. Nothing worked (though BIL also confided to DH that SIL had a hard time being consistent with any sleep training method). At 5, the kid was still waking up in the middle of the night and going to their bed to sleep. Then SIL got pregnant again, and she and BIL spent several months getting the 5 year old to sleep in his own room. Their son is 8 now, and as far as I know, he sleeps through the night in his own room now, or at least puts him back to sleep. I have no idea if it’s been the same pattern with the 3 year old. So, yeah, worst-case scenario is that you will have to do some type of age-appropriate sleep “training” with an older kid whenever you’re ready.
I’m sure some toddlers and kids grow out of middle-of-the-night wake-ups by themselves. We lucked out with a great sleeper, and I’m sure it had more to do with Kiddo’s nature than our own parenting skills. We tried the Ferber method, and Kiddo was asleep within 10 minutes, and that was it. On the flip side, potty training was SO difficult for us, and Kiddo was almost 4 and not fully potty trained. I’d like to think that also had more to do with Kiddo’s nature than our own parenting skills.
I would do the same and feed or nurse my baby when he woke up (1-2x per night at that age). Eventually I just stopped feeding him every time, or only feed a little and rocked him back to sleep. Then when he was ~12 months old I decided I should stop trying to rock him to sleep and put him in his crib. It worked for a while then teething happened so we kept rocking. Eventually one night I put him in his crib, let him cry for 10 minutes, and that seems to be all the sleep training he needed because he has been going down easy and sleeping through the night ever since. He is a very easygoing baby! You’re not ruining your baby by not sleep training and you can always do it later.
I’m a raging insomniac and apply anti-insomnia techniques to my baby. The crib is for sleeping. During the day, we make sure he naps in light; the night is dark and dark means a lot of sleeping. When he used to wake up at night for feedings, we kept the lights off and changed his diaper immediately after so he wouldn’t wake up again for a diaper change.
You are training your baby to wake up for affection and safety at night.
It’s ultimately up to you, but I found ripping off the proverbial bandaid in these situations (sleep training,cutting out bottles, etc.) to be the best solution. The dread was always worse than the actual thing itself. You could also try to sleep train (using whichever method you prefer) and say “if it doesn’t work in 3 nights, we’ll try again another time.” That way you give it a chance but aren’t stuck in purgatory. Also, the sleep regressions are on their way, and I found that having solid habits before the regressions always helped us come out to the other side.
Just really think it depends on the kid. I do there are kids who will be poor sleepers long term (just like there are adults who are poor sleepers), but many others will turn into great sleepers at some point whether you sleep train or not. Now, that time will depend… our older kid was sleeping 11-12 hours at 4 months with no sleep training (it was wonderful and totally tricked us into thinking that was normal!). Second child was more like 12-18 months (I don’t even remember- I think more like 12 but then was sick a lot so would wake? Totally a haze). After that he never ever wakes at night. I didn’t want to sleep train formally so we didn’t.
We never sleep trained; we worked on helping our little one get herself to sleep independently through the “drowsy but awake” method, starting at 2 months (and she was still getting up 4X a night then to eat). We were consistent with that, and she slowly self-weaned feedings until she just simply started sleeping through all of them, and slept through the night around 6.5 months because she was eating enough during the day and slept through feeds. She still gets up sometimes when teething or sick, but otherwise it’s consistently through the night. We never purposefully weaned feedings either – we just encouraged daytime eating, and let her take the lead when she was ready. But, then again, maybe we’re just lucky.
The mantra I learned from someone here that I apply to baby things: it’s not a problem until it’s a problem. Right now, you are okay with the set up, so you don’t have a problem. Other people would have a problem with your current set up, but if you’re good with it, enjoy the snuggles. At some point you’ll probably have to teach your baby how to sleep through the night, but you can do that later.
I would get yourself down to one nurse per night, at a consistent time, before you figure out what to do next.
And once you do… I get the sentiment, ‘do what’s best for your family,’ but the flip side of that is, you’re the parent and it’s your responsibility to ensure that your child learns essential sleeping skills. We never did CIO, but that’s because we put all the building blocks in place for good sleep. Sure, there are always regressions, growing pains, etc. But if the foundation is there, then your kid works through them and gets back on track. I would focus on getting to a point where you can give them that foundation (falling asleep independently, self-soothing, etc).
Leaving Big Law advice. I’m 99% sure I’m going to accept an in house job with a non-firm client. This is likely to come as a disappointment, but maybe not a surprise, to the partner I work the most with, who also has a lot of pull in our practice group, the firm, and the general practice area.
My reasons for leaving are work life balance, hatred of billable hours, and knowing I can’t put in that push to go the next step — I’m capably of it, just burnt out — parenting in a pandemic pushed me there sooner than I expected. This is a HARD choice, but it’s not a chance that comes along often.
How do I tell him? I’m worried about burning a bridge with him, even though I know he’s not vindictive like that. I’m also worried about disappointing him, even though I know I don’t owe him anything but reasonable notice and an effective transfer of work.
I would keep it brief and direct. This is not a decision you need to go to great lengths to justify or feel guilty over. One thing I would suggest is that after you leave, you write a thank you letter to him, and to any other people at your firm you want to appreciate, that lets them know how nice it was to work with them, what you learned from them or most appreciated about working with them, and that you want to stay in touch. I don’t think you will be burning any bridges from what you have said here, and you have a great opportunity to set up a good professional relationship in your field going forward.
I think that’s a nice idea! I have had employees that I love quit and I have had employees I don’t love quit. Either way, I take it really well in-person. Than I moan or celebrate later. Quitting has no impact on my opinion of them or the reference I give. Unless you’re a jerk (give n
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