Young 12 Y O Sex
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Young 12 Y O Sex
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Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD
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Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD
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Reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP
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Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Verywell Family is part of the Dotdash publishing family.
The teen years are a time to ensure your child is going to be ready for life after high school . You’ll likely notice your teen can be quite independent in many ways. But, it’s also a time when you’ll notice areas that need some improvement.
When you notice your teen is struggling in certain areas, teach her new life skills . And give her plenty of opportunities to practice being responsible and independent . Focusing on healthy habits now can equip your teen to care for herself in the future.
Even though there will be times when your teen insists he knows everything or that he has all the skills he needs to function in the adult world, there’s a good chance his skills could use some fine-tuning.
Of course, the teen years come with many new opportunities too. Getting a driver's license and getting a part-time job are just a few of the milestones that will give your teen opportunities to practice being responsible.
In the meantime, it’s important to teach your teen how to take care of himself and how to perform everyday activities that will prepare him for the future.
A well-rounded diet based on the USDA guidelines should help your teen get all the essential vitamins and minerals he needs. Adolescents are going to most likely fall short of the daily recommended quotas of calcium , iron, zinc , and vitamin D . 1
Unless blood tests and a pediatrician's evaluation reveal a specific deficiency, it's preferable to obtain nutrients from food rather than dietary supplements .
When it comes to caloric intake, moderately active boys require: 1
Moderately active girls between 13 and 18 require 2,000 calories per day. 1
Teens who are active more than 60 minutes per day may need more calories while teens who are sedentary will need fewer calories to maintain a healthy body mass index.
Teens make many of their own food choices. That may mean they’re likely to grab fast food with their friends. It’s important to educate your teen about making good choices.
Keep the focus on health, instead of weight. Discuss the importance of fueling his body and brain.
Keep the kitchen stocked with healthy fruits and vegetables. Reserve sugary items for an occasional treat.
Be on the lookout for dieting and body image issues , especially in girls. Teen girls are often trying to lose weight and many of them restrict their food intake or begin to eat only certain types of food. Eating disorders often emerge during the teenage years. 2
It’s recommended that teens get 60 minutes of physical activity every day. Aerobic exercise should be the main form of activity. 3
But muscle-building exercises, like strength training, and bone-building exercises, like jumping, are also important for good health.
If your teen isn’t interested in joining a sports team, don’t force it. Help her find something she really wants to do. Going for a daily walk or a bike ride, kayaking, or swimming could be activities she enjoys more than being on a team sport.
Even if your teen isn't into sports, there are many activities that can get him moving. You can also make physical activity a family activity. Go for an evening walk after dinner or go hiking on the weekends.
Limit your teen's screen time and encourage him to spend time outside. Talk about the importance of keeping his body healthy and make it a priority to be a good role model.
The teen years are a critical time for young people to practice making decisions on their own and to be given more responsibility. The more responsibility they can take on now, the less they'll struggle during their transition to adulthood.
Responsibilities that are learned as teenagers include:
Make sure your teen knows how to do important household tasks, like laundry and cooking basic meals. You may want to rotate chores sometimes to ensure that they have an opportunity to practice doing the household activities you do to maintain the home.
Give your teen privileges based on their responsibility level. If they're able to show you that they can be trusted with household tasks, you’ll have more confidence that he can handle the responsibility of driving of a car or being out with his friends unsupervised.
While your teen will want to spend the majority of their time with their friends, it’s important to insist on spending some time together as a family. A monthly family fun night or weekly pizza night might be traditions you decide to keep.
Eat meals together as a family whenever you can. This can be an important way to connect with your teen on an everyday basis.
It’s important for your teen to know how to care of his health. Risky behavior can be one of the biggest dangers teens face. So educate your teen about the dangers they face and take away privileges when your teen makes poor choices.
Teens can continue seeing their pediatrician until they are 21. Annual wellness checks are recommended for teenagers.
Sports physicals, acne, respiratory infections, asthma, and skin issues are common reasons teens need to see their pediatrician in between annual visits.
It’s important to give teens an opportunity to speak with the pediatrician privately. They may have questions about sex, sexuality, STDs, alcohol, drugs, or other sensitive issues that they aren’t comfortable speaking about in front of a parent.
The pediatrician should check your child’s body mass index, provide counseling on physical activity and nutrition, and provide education on sexually transmitted infections.
Sexually active teens may be routinely tested for sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia and gonorrhea, even if they don’t have any symptoms.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends girls have their first gynecologic visit between the ages of 13 and 15. 4
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends teens have their second dose of the Meningococcal vaccine at age 16. 5
The pediatrician should also screen for mental health issues , such as depression and anxiety. It’s important to bring up any concerns you may have about your teen’s mood or behavior.
The AAP recommends teens receive between 8 and 10 hours of sleep each night. 6 Early school start times can make it difficult for teens to get the recommended amount of sleep.
Their biological clocks cause them to stay up later and sleep in longer. This makes waking early very difficult.
There are several things you can do to help your teen get enough sleep:
The biggest safety issue teens face is their risky choices. They’re likely to be impulsive at times, and sadly, it only takes one bad decision to get into a serious accident.
Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death for teens in the U.S. Teens age 16 to 19 have a much greater risk of death or injury in a car crash than any other age group. 7
Before your teen gets behind the wheel—or becomes a passenger with a teen driver—it’s important to understand the biggest dangers that lead to teen car crashes. Distracted driving, speed, and driver inexperience are all factors that can contribute to motor vehicle accidents in teens.
Create rules for your teen and make your expectations clear. Talk about consequences for reckless behavior, such as driving too fast or getting in the car with someone who has been drinking.
The third greatest risk to a teen’s health is violence. IN 2017, more than 1,800 teens from the ages of 15 to 19 died from violence in the U.S. 8
According to a 2017 survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 19% of teenagers have been bullied during the previous year. And 16% of students reported carrying a weapon (a knife or gun) at least once in the previous 30 days. 9
Talk to your teen about how to stay safe. Discuss what to do if he’s bullied or how to respond if he learns of another student carrying a weapon. Talk about dating violence as well, since many acts of violence occur in romantic relationships .
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens from 15 to 19 years of age. 8 Approximately 7% of high school students attempt suicide in 2016, according to the CDC, but many more teens think about suicide but don’t act on it. 9
If you or your teen are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
While there are many factors that contribute to suicide, loneliness, depression, family problems, and substance abuse can place a teen at an especially high risk. 10
It’s important to monitor your teen’s mental health. If you suspect your teen may have a mental health issue or they've expressed thoughts of suicide, seek professional help. You can start by talking to their pediatrician.
Technology plays a huge role in the everyday lives of teenagers. It’s changed how they date, socialize, and communicate.
Stay up-to-date on the latest apps, social media sites, and digital devices teens are using. Your teen won’t listen to your warnings if you aren’t educated about the risks and dangers.
Cyberbullies and sexual predators pose credible risks. But those aren’t the only threats your teen faces online.
People may attempt to steal their identity too. Or, they may be invited to participate in scams or fraudulent activity, without even realizing it. So it’s important to educate your teen about these dangers.
It’s also important to talk about the importance of managing their online reputation. The pictures they post, memes they share, and content they like will create a permanent record of their activity.
The choices they make online now could affect them for the rest of their life. College admissions officials, future bosses, and even future romantic partners may turn to the internet to gain information about them.
Create clear rules for your teen’s smartphone and other electronic devices. Establish consequences for breaking the rules.
While you don’t need to read every message your teen sends, monitor their online activity. Know what they're doing online and make sure they're making healthy choices.
It’s normal for your teen to think the world revolves around him sometimes. In fact, they might even think they have an “imaginary audience.”
The "imaginary audience" is a label for teens' belief that a group of followers exists who constantly watch and judge their every move. 11 The belief arises from the larger concept of adolescent egocentrism , that teens think the world revolves around them and that everyone is paying attention to how they look and what they do. This is a normal phase of social development in teens.
It can be exasperating for a parent to see their teen change his shirt five times before heading to school, with most of the choices appearing almost identical. But this is normal teen behavior .
In addition to becoming more invested in social relationships, your teen will also grow more aware of social issues. They may grow invested in helping a charity or fighting for a political cause they believe in.
As your teen matures, they’ll spend more time thinking about their values. They may question their faith or claim they're going to live a different lifestyle than you. That’s all part of the separation process as your teen becomes their own person.
It’s normal for all teens to feel like they don’t fit in sometimes. Their confidence is also likely to waiver. But for teens who are bullied and ostracized, adolescence is likely to be an especially rough time.
If your teen is struggling to fit in socially, consider getting professional help. Loneliness and isolation could lead to mental health problems.
It’s also important to keep a close eye on your teen’s stress level. Academic issues , social problems , sports-related pressure, and preparing for the future can be overwhelming at times.
Make sure your teen isn't over-scheduled . Down time is important.
Teens need healthy stress reduction activities and relaxation skills. Proactively teach your teen how to recognize when her stress level is high and show her how to cope with stress in a healthy way.
Whether your teen loves music or he's into sports, support your teen's efforts to be an individual. That may mean taking a step back and realizing that your teen's job isn't to fulfill your dreams for them—their job is to reach their own dreams.
As a parent, it’s normal to feel a sense of grief as your child grows up. Gone are the days when they depended on you and soon, they’ll be out on her own.
Make sure you deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Don’t allow your feelings to hold your child back
Finally, keep in mind that you and your teen don’t have to agree on everything. Let them become their own person and establish themself as an individual, as long as they do it in a safe way.
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