You Re Asshole
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You Re Asshole
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19 Things You Know If You're An Asshole
Asshole: anyone who doesn't do, say, think, or feel exactly what you want them to and doesn't care
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I know what you're thinking... I know I can be slightly offensive at times, but I doubt I qualify as a true-to-the-core asshole. But, here we are. So, you might be an asshole if:
To anyone who can relate to MULTIPLE Heartbreaks, Lies, Cheats & Schemes.
First, I would like to say I think pure love is the most beautiful thing on this planet. To feel and be able to share with family, friends, or even just with your pet or favorite pair of shoes. Love can also be the scariest thing on the planet and with my many experiences with love- came with many tests, trials and tribulations. Wheeeeew, if I were to go into every story and detail of how many times I have been taken advantage of and lied to, YOU'd probably think I was lying. Lol. But that has never stopped me from showing love and wanting others to know how genuine and pure love feels. Even if it is just with my clients, I always want to know how they are feeling and doing. No ulterior motive or hidden agenda.
From the second your paws first hit the ground I smiled at you and in return you gave me one back, knowing you'd stepped into your forever home. Months went by and I watched proudly as you grew, bigger and then even bigger. We had spent so many seconds, minutes, and hours together. We were like two siblings the way we argued and played.
Why does September feel so melancholy?
Today, I sat in my fishing buddy's small rowboat, drifting on the surface of the Walkill River, leaned back, and felt so content I nearly fell asleep. I opened my eyes, in awe of a gorgeous cotton candy-colored sky moving along like a painting. One tiny little detail I noticed: the sun was beginning to set.
An open letter to the place I call home on the 20th anniversary of living here.
We fail to see that Our home is a sinking ship, Vanishing slowly.
They failed to see that This place was a sinking ship Inevitably doomed.
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Artikal Sound System 7.03K subscribers " You're an Asshole"' is an upbeat anthem for anyone feeling the sting of a past relationship. The song cycles through the anger, vulnerability, insecurity,...
Download + Stream: https://cssl.fanlink.to/youreanassholeOur new album 'Welcome To Florida" is out February 1, 2022!Pre-Save + Pre-Order: https://cssl.fanlin...
So, you might be an asshole if: 1. You put yourself before others, and you don't think twice about it. 2. You lack certain emotions that others seem to think are important. 3. People probably talk about you behind your back. 4. You don't care. About generally anything except what matters to you . 5. You're a super competitive and offensive driver.
So how do you know you're an actual ass? 1. Can't stand someone else being in the spotlight. "The first stage of becoming a full blown witch, is envy." Nigerians are quirky. We hide wisdom in...
Here are 20 signs you're an asshole . You Don't Say Thank You If someone does you a favor say thank you . If a person holds the door for you it's polite to say thank you . If someone goes out of their way to help you , saying thank you is a must. If you never tell people thank you , you're an asshole . You Never Smile
You're an ASSHOLE !!!! Uploaded 12/01/2008 When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...... I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
Music video by Denis Leary performing Asshole . (C) 1993 A&M Records#DenisLeary # Asshole #Vevo
Leo is our first and only child, and is 5 months old. Macey works part-time and I work full-time. Macey works on Tuesdays but I don't. Macey normally leaves the house at around 8:00AM to get to work on time, but I like to take the opportunity to sleep in when I can get it. Whenever Macey gets ready for work, Leo will usually start crying in his ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know......
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello'
I politely said, ' This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, 'Get the right f *** ing number!', and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *******!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, you're an ******* !' It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?' He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW ******* too.
I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is.'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'
I asked, 'What's your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're an *******!'
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two ******** to call. Then I came up with an idea.......
I called ******* #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an ******* !' (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah.'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
'He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******!' and hung up.
Then I called ******* #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, *******.'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ***!'
I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your chance... I'm coming over right now!'
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax . I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead News helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
'NOW I feel much better!!!'
Anger management works!!!
Tags:
funny
anger
management
i've seen this on here once before, might have been a few weeks ago or a couple months, but it's still funny
This is a great joke, but a repost.
really? Never seen it on here before. Oh well
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