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Good sex comes from understanding how your body works. Everyone likes different things when it comes to sex, so don’t worry about whether you’re “normal.”
Sex isn’t one size fits all. What feels good to you might not be right for someone else. Everyone’s different when it comes to sexual behaviors and desires, but here are some common kinds of sexual activity:
masturbating alone or with a partner
People get turned on by different things, so communicating about what you like or don’t like lets your partner know what’s OK and what’s off limits.
Having a healthy sex life is good for you both emotionally and physically. Sex can help you create a connection with another person, and sexual pleasure has lots of health benefits — whether you’re with a partner or not. When you have an orgasm , your body gives you a natural high. You release endorphins, which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good.
There are lots of other health benefits associated with sexual pleasure:
There’s no amount of sex that’s considered “normal” — everyone’s different. How often you have sex depends on a lot of things, like whether you have a partner, what else is going on in your life, and how strong your sex drive (your desire to have sex) is.
People have different sex drives . Your own sex drive can change based on things like stress, medications you take, and other physical, emotional, and lifestyle factors. Some people want to have sex every day or more than once a day, and some people hardly ever want to have sex. People who don't experience any sexual attraction for anyone may call themselves asexual .
Having a healthy sex life is about taking care of yourself, whether you have a partner or not. Physically, that means practicing safer sex , getting tested for STDs regularly, preventing unintended pregnancies , and seeing a doctor or nurse if you have a sexual disorder or any other health problems.
Feeling good about your body, enjoying sexual pleasure, being comfortable with your sexual orientation and gender identity , and having healthy relationships are also big parts of healthy sexuality. Having a healthy sex life means knowing what you do and don’t want to do sexually and being able to communicate that to your partners. Your partner should respect your boundaries, and you should respect theirs.
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Some things in life are better on repeat: Friends , perfectly sunny beach days, your trusty manicure. Your sexcapades, though? Definitely not one of them. Even the hottest spark in the bedroom needs new sex positions to stoke the flames from time to time—otherwise things get boring, fast.
"Anytime you introduce something fresh and novel into the bedroom, you set yourself up for a more stimulating experience and bigger finish," says Vanessa Marin , a licensed sex therapist in L.A. In short, your brain craves newness, and especially for women, your brain is very involved in your excitement and satisfaction.
Trying out different ~moves~ can also work wonders for your relationship. "One significant challenge to intimacy is the loss of novelty in the bedroom," says Shawntres Parks , licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego. Exploration between the sheets amps up emotional intimacy and encourages partners to take risks and grow together. New sex positions will encourage you both to be more vulnerable with one another in—and outside of —the bedroom. And in the end, you’ll find your relationship injected with an extra dose of trust.
In some cases, switching up positions might even be a must. "If you're thinking 'ouch' when the offer of sex is put on the table, you could definitely benefit from exploring other positions that are more comfortable for folks with diverse abilities, as well as those with chronic pain, or pain from penetration," Parks adds. But even after you’ve found that pain-free position, that doesn’t mean it’s your only option. While it’s easy to become a creature of habit as soon as you’ve nailed that go-to, comfortable, climax-every-time position, Parks urges you to keep mixing it up. There are SO many possibilities out there that your imagination might not have even thought up yet.
Going it alone? You can mix it up on your own, too. Try as they may, it's unlikely someone pleasures you better than, well, you can, so dedicate as much time to discovering what gets you off without the pressure of having to make someone else feel good. There are tons of positions you can take on while playing with yourself, and then , should you want to bring someone in on the action, you'll know exactly what you want them to do and can communicate that off the bat.
Ah, but where to begin? How about with any of these 47 orgasm -inducing positions that'll blow your d*mn mind.
Do it: Have your partner lie down, flat on their back. Then climb on top, so you're facing away from their upper body. This way, you'll look like the number 69 , get it? Your genitals should be lined up with your partner's mouth, and their genitals should be lined up with yours. Alternatively, try it in a side-by-side position.
Why: This position is one of the best for dual pleasure as both partners can give and receive at once.
Make It Hotter: Sure, the mouth-to-genitals stuff is the main attraction, but don't shy away from getting handsy, too. You might even want to bring in a sex toy, especially if you find it hard to concentrate while your partner's going down on you and need to proxy for a bit.
Do It: Near the edge of a bed or bench, rest on your hip and forearm and press your thighs together. Your partner stands and straddles you, entering or grinding from behind.
Why: Keeping your legs pressed together during this sex position allows for a tighter hold on your partner as they thrust.
Make It Hotter: Instead of letting your partner do all the work, try thrusting your hips slightly to match the tempo.
Do It: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
Why: During this sex position, you’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated adds support, so it’s great for marathon sex sessions.
Make It Hotter: Let your fingers (and hands) do the talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or your partner's to make things more interesting.
Do It: Get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you (ya know, like a humping dog).
Why: This sex position allows for deep penetration and easier G-spot stimulation.
Make It Hotter: Stimulate your clitoris with one hand, or ask your partner to do the finger work for you.
Do It: Lie on your right side; your partner kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side.
Why: With this sex position, you get the deeper penetration of doggy style while still being able to make that important eye contact. Or, if penetration isn't your thing, your partner can easily grind against up against you stimulating your clit.
Make It Hotter: Get your partner to rub your clit. Because, duh.
Do It: Lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
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