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They're literally the f*cking best.
If you're the type who's most comfortable having sex under the covers in missionary position ...with the lights off (honestly, no shame in the vanilla sex game!!), then chances are the world of sex machines is a bit of a mystery to you. Like vibrators , fucking machines can either be used for solo play or with a partner, but unlike your trusty ol' wand , most of 'em can't be packed up in your suitcase—though there are definitely handheld options. Some are built for riding, while others offer stroking or thrusting, and almost all sex machines come with interchangeable attachments for ~toyin' around.~ The best part: Sex machines allow you to be 100 percent in control. Um, yes to that!!
Why use a sex machine when you can just masturbate , you ask? By allowing control over pressure, speeds, thrusting styles, and more, sex machines offer an experience that feels *just like* the real thing. These sexy devices also give you the choice to do it when you wanna do it and how you wanna do it, and they can help you grow more in tune with what feels good for you. Sexual knowledge is sexual power, friends.
Unfortunately, sex machines aren't cheap, so you should make sure you're investing in the right one for you. Depending on the thrills you're seeking and the budget you're hoping to keep, here are some of the best sex machines for a toe-curling, mind-blowing sexual experience.
If you're like, "Hi, help, I'm overwhelmed," then this is the machine for you. This simple, sturdy, wire-controlled device comes with a soft, realistic dildo, and you can easily try out different positions by adjusting the angle. Plus, it's easy to assemble and disassemble, so you can tuck it away before the 'rents come over.
Wanna get something you can enjoy with your S.O.? Then this portable (and v travel-friendly) sex simulator is the perfect pick, as it can be used by two partners simultaneously for double the fun. It also comes with super-strong suction cups to secure it to any surface and two interchangeable dildos, because who doesn't like having options?
If you're not looking to drop a ton of dough, then try get this bad boy. This rechargeable remote control thrusting sex machine features 10 vibration functions and two different dildo attachments, so you get plenty of bang for your buck (lol). Oh, and did I mention it has a warming button?
Also known as masturbators, strokers are typically designed with penises in mind, and this mind-blowing machine is a penis owner's dream. With a vibrating textured sleeve, a detachable vibrating stroker, and several different speeds and suction modes, this stroking machine is simply *chef's kiss.*
Ready for a wild ride? Get this saddle-style sex machine that comes with six vibration speeds and a soft, vegan leather seat for riding in style. You'll also get two silicone attachments for internal and external stimulation, plus a remote for one-handed control. Yeehaw!!
Considering it's called the Dicktator, you know this thing's gotta be powerful. Live out your ultimate BDSM fantasy with this mighty machine, which boasts a durable steel frame, adjustable mounting arm, and TONS of speed and power options.
With four strong suction cups at the base to keep it securely in place, this powerful machine is as ready to play as you are. Enjoy an adjustable thruster arm and speed options that go up to 195 strokes per minute—and FYI, that's fast .
If you don't want your neighbors privy to your sexual exploits, then this machine will help ya keep things on the DL. Use it at multiple angles while it's attached to its base, or detach it completely for increased versatility. Either way, you can depend on a powerful but totally discreet experience.
This nifty lil machine utilizes an orb center that allows it to rotate, which means you can set the piston to thrust and rotate simultaneously at various speeds or totally independently. Included are two textured dildos, a remote control, and even a travel bag so you can take it on to go.
For the best seat in the house, invest in this mechanical sex chair, which is powered by your own thrusts for complete control. You can easily adjust the depth and penetration by using the knobs, and since it comes with a dildo, you can use this machine right outta the box.
A new design on the classic Cowgirl, this beeeaut of a machine comes with two colorful attachments for penetrative and non-penetrative stimulation, plus a detachable rainbow tail flogger and a watercolor floor mat. TBH, this saddle is so pretty you'll wanna leave it out even when guests come over.
Size doesn't matter—even when it comes to sex machines. Small but mighty, this handheld device can thrust gently or forcefully, depending on your fantasy. Its soft silicone shaft also offers seven vibration speeds, so you can have a totally unique experience every time you use it.
This thrusting machine isn't just versatile—it's also massively powerful. Firing up to 300 strokes per minute (!!!), you can adjust this device to hit that exaaaact right spot, and if you need some extra length, the extension rod should do the trick. Included are two dildos and a remote that doubles as an external stimulating vibrator, which is—dare I say?— genius .
This device may come with a hefty price tag, but fear not—you'll get your money's worth. This hybrid saddle vibrator and thruster machine comes with six different attachments for endless possibilities, plus a wedge that allows you to switch between straddling the machine and lying down. The future has arrived, friends.
Sex dolls aren't the only inflatable friends you can keep around the house. This inflatable chair offers back and leg support for comfort as you play, and it comes with three realistic vibrators for hands-free pleasure. And don't worry—it includes a foot pump for easy inflation, so you can save your energy for the good stuff. ;)

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