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Latest update July 9th, 2022 12:59 AM
Today, my daughter, Ciara, is 10. I am taking her out later and she will have a good time.
I look at her and I see the love and trust in her eyes.
Her innocent hugs are something that men would not understand unless they have fathered a little girl.
My days are long, sometimes going until 11pm. In recent years, she has been insisting I come early as I have been given the task of cutting her birthday cake. I jealously guard the moments and dare not be late for those annual dates.
I cannot but help but think often now of the lengths that I would go to protect my family.
In recent times, discussions of sex would be become topic that is normal in a home with the two siblings who are 10 and 12.
I try not to blink and would pretend that is a conversation that happens every day with my little ones.
Inside, my conservative nature would rebel at their questioning eyes. It is a battle staying cool. You are the daddy. You know everything.
They know about not venturing alone to the toilets at school and about what constitutes an inappropriate touch.
I could not sleep Friday morning and started work at about 4:30am.
I briefly scrolled through Facebook page and saw bandits had carried out a home invasion on the parents of a media worker. I am glad they are okay.
Then I stumbled across Melly Mel’s page.
For the past few days, Melissa ‘Melly Mel’ Atwell, a social media activist and talk show host, has been raising the issue of rape.
She has been aggressive on the social circuits on hot-button, taboo issues, a welcome deviation from the safe topics we have become accustomed to.
As I write on an early Friday morning, her page has 60 “true stories” of Guyana women and men who detail experiences that have left permanent scars. The shares and the comments are clear evidence that the issue has hit a nerve.
I felt scarred after reading a number of those accounts.
A relationship is a beautiful thing once it is between consenting adults.
The law is very clear. Once you are with someone enjoying the moment, if they attempt to push you away and say no, and yet you proceed, then it is rape.
Imagine if that kid is a little girl or boy who lives with relatives because their parents are dead or live overseas. Who do they complain to? Do they know that they are victims and rape is a such an abominable sin and crime?
On Mel’s page, and if you want details go read them yourselves, the accounts of the victims are heartrending and beyond believable. I stopped after a little while.
Who are these monsters that would desecrate little boys and girls?
One cadet spoke of being raped by two colleagues during her training in the army.
Fathers, step-fathers, step-brothers, cousins, boyfriends. The stories on Mel’s page by victims are a bulls-horn in the middle of a quiet Catholic church.
Yes, they all happened in Guyana.
There is a case of a young man who recounted his first sexual encounter with his cousin. She was a protector who insisted that the two sleep on one bed. An innocent enough gesture. She later denied the episodes occurred.
A number of the women, now grown up, have never recovered, and have been broken with suicidal thoughts and sleeping around, a manifestation of the abuse.
The stories would point to a society where enough support mechanisms are not in place and of a people who have low tolerance of any disclosures of sexual abuse of a minor.
Cases are swept under the carpet with families ashamed and unwilling to pursue to the end.
Wives, covering up years of abuse, tell of trust issues with husbands.
One woman told of being raped by masked men and then later suffering from relationship issues.
I don’t want to continue to dwell on details of these stories of women who tell on being made to sit on the lap of a big man and being threatened of being thrown out on the streets if they dared talk.
How does a child deal with being beaten or parents separated if details of a rape emerge?
In the news this past week, it has been reported that the High Court will deal with several sex assault cases with the majority involving children.
In fact, the figures would show that just 150 sexual cases are listed for the next court sessions.
The cases involving children are 115.
What manner of people are we?
I have been seeing increasing reports of incest and rapes in the hinterlands.
Like suicide, we appear to have a major problem on our hands.
I have a close relative who account two cases of forced sex and it has led to severe trust issues with her husband. She would check his body, smell his clothes and even question his phone calls.
Rape is one that has far-reaching impact.
I saw comments where Mel’s exposure was lauded as being the single act of the year that has brought rape to the fore, eclipsing the efforts of the authorities which have millions of dollars at their disposals but are failing to bring such awareness.
These hard-hitting accounts are not fictional stories. They are as real as we can get.
The victim is the man next to you, the woman who goes to your church or the parent of your son’s classmate.
We have many priorities to handle in this country.
From poor infrastructure and pay to accountability, transparency and corruption.
As we move forward with oil and a different direction for Guyana, we have to continuously pay attention to stories of the silent people who are now fighting back.
We are with you. If you know someone who is being abused or you are being abused, tell someone. Tell mom, tell dad. Tell a neighbour or the teacher. It is not okay.
The sad reality is that the criminals who carry out these despicable attacks are mainly persons close to the victims.
The efforts of the messengers like Melly Mel should not be taken lightly.
I AM ENTITLED June 9, 2022 In "Features / Columnists"
Kaieteur News – Each year in Trinidad and Tobago, as in Guyana, the names of the top performers in the secondary school... more
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