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Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 29, 2021
Oral sex is a common sex position among couples of all ages and genders . Also referred to as fellatio or cunnilingus, this position involves oral stimulation of a partner’s genitals or anus.
Oral sex is often a part of foreplay before intercourse. Many couples use it as a way to warm up or to get in the mood for intercourse, but oral stimulation can also play a part during or after, too. This position can also be just as pleasurable as a stand-alone act.
Oral sex requires a partner and whichever position works most comfortably. One partner uses their mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate their partner’s penis, vagina , or anus. Oral sex gives you and your partner another way to pleasure each other apart from regular genital intercourse.
Eighty-five percent of sexually active adults between the ages of 18 and 44 report having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. However, it’s important to note that oral pleasure isn’t just for heterosexual couples . People in both same-sex or mixed-sex relationships can enjoy giving or receiving oral stimulation with their partner.
Oral sex can have many different names, both formal and informal. Experts have given the various types of oral stimulation their own medical terms:
Fellatio. Stimulation of the penis with the lips, tongue, or teeth. It usually involves a sucking or licking motion, but may also include the use of the throat or teeth.
Cunnilingus. Stimulation of the vagina or clitoris with the mouth. This usually includes sucking or licking outside and around the vulva.
Anilingus. Stimulation of the anus with the mouth or lips.
Although these are the clinical terms, there are also more casual terms to describe oral sex, which include:
While oral sex may be a fairly common practice, there are a few misconceptions surrounding it:
Myth: Oral sex is not sex. Studies of teenagers and college students in the past decades show that many don’t consider oral sex to be real sex. Instead, they see it as a pleasurable activity that is lower-risk and allows them to preserve their virginity . Reports also show that many teens and young adults try oral sex before they engage in genital intercourse.
However, while oral pleasure is distinctly different from sexual intercourse, it is still considered a sexual act. Oral sex involves genital contact and is an intimate act. It can be just as pleasurable as sexual intercourse, and also has some of the same risks involved, too.
Myth: There aren’t any risks with oral sex. Even though oral sex doesn’t come with the risk of pregnancy , there is still the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease ( STD ). While it’s true the chances of getting an STD through oral sex are a bit lower than with genital sex, the risk is still there. Some common STDs that can be passed orally are:
Oral sex can be given or received by people of all genders, and it’s important to ensure that both partners are consenting.
Talk to your partner about trying oral sex. The first step is to communicate with your partner about giving each other oral pleasure. Some studies show that heterosexual women may be more hesitant to ask their male partner for oral pleasure. However, that same study also showed that men wanted to perform oral sex more often with their partners.
Talk to your partner about how you can pleasure each other, as oral stimulation is such an intimate act. You can begin by kissing, touching, and then gradually move on to using your mouth on your partner in a way that they like.
Possible risks. Oral sex comes with the risk of contracting an STD. If you are engaging in casual oral sex, use protection like a condom or dental dam . These products can protect both you and your partner and lower the likelihood of getting an STD.
If you or your partner have cuts, sores, or ulcers in your mouth or around your genitals or anus, avoid oral sex until they are healed or treated to avoid further complications. Not all symptoms of STDs are clear right away and can cause problems with fertility and general health.
National Center for Biotechnology Information: “Oral sex and oral health: An enigma in itself.”
Victoria State Government: “Oral Sex.”
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: “STD Risk and Oral Sex - CDC Fact Sheet.”
National Center for Biotechnology Information: “US teenagers think oral sex isn’t real sex.”
Queensland Government: “Oral Sex and STIs - what you need to know.”
PsyPost.org: “Study finds straight men want to perform oral sex on their partner more often.”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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By Corinne Sullivan and Maria Del Russo Updated: Feb 5, 2021
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Giving is just as fun as receiving.
Whether you participate in oral sex as foreplay before penetrative sex or as the main event in your sexual adventure, it can be an incredibly satisfying and pleasurable act to engage in with your partner(s). Of course, having a few oral sex tips at your disposal certainly won't hurt matters, either. Some have argued that oral sex is actually more intimate than penetrative sex, seeing as it requires you to get close to one of the most personal parts of a person's body. It’s not every day that you have your face in someone’s lap, after all.
But there’s something deeper than body placement that can make this specific sex act so enjoyable, too. Unless you’re participating in mutual oral sex, like in a 69 sex position , it’s typical that only one person is getting off at a time. That can be a seriously vulnerable position for anyone to be in, whether they’re giving or receiving. And since it’s such a vulnerable position, it can make it that much easier to feel closer, more connected, and more intimate with your partner(s). Then again, there's a chance it brings up a number insecurities, too. How do you tell your partner what you like? And how do you figure out if your partner is liking what you’re doing to them?
Successful oral sex isn't just about achieving orgasm — it's about growing intimacy, gaining sexual confidence, and giving both your partner and yourself a gratifying experience. It can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. With a few simple tips, you can master the oral sex game. These helpful hints will turn any sack session into a fun and steamy experience, so grab your partner and some lubrication and get started.
Before you get down to anything, it’s important to remember the golden rule: No sex without consent. Yes, even oral sex. Some people are just flat-out uninterested in receiving or giving oral sex — and that’s completely fine. It’s important to respect your partner’s wishes above all else. So no pushing heads down and no begging. If the answer is no, respect it and move on.
The best time to have a chat about what you like and dislike about sex, oral or penetrative, is when your clothes are still on. This allows you and your partner to have a discussion that isn’t coercive or cloaked in any kind of pressure. Go over what you like, what you dislike, any fantasies you’re interested in, or anything that is an absolute no-go. That way, when you guys are in the heat of the moment, everyone knows the rules.
Just keep in mind that any discussions pre-sex does not negate any changes that may occur during sex. If someone revokes consent during sex, then everything should come to a complete and immediate stop. A pre-sex "yes" does not negate a during-sex "no."
Some people consider oral sex to be unhygienic or shameful, and that stigma can prevent others from enjoying the act. As Gigi Engle , a certified sexologist and the author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life points out, it doesn't help that there an entire industry devoted to selling products that "freshen up" vulvas and vaginas, as though they're inherently unsanitary. "Since these negative attitudes abound, be sure your partner knows how much you want to give them oral sex," she tells Woman's Day. "Be open about how hot they are and how good they taste. Making them feel comfortable (and sexy) in their body will help them relax." And of course, someone who's relaxed is more likely to experience orgasm.
If you go into oral sex treating it like a chore, then it's likely not going to be fun for anyone. "The first thing you need to do is reframe from, 'I have to give oral sex,' to, 'I get to give oral sex,'" Goody Howard , sexologist, educator, and intimacy consultant, tells Woman's Day. According to Howard, the best way to get yourself in the mood is to get a song in your head. "Pick a song that makes you feel powerful and beautiful and strong," she suggests. "It could be country, it could be trap, it could be gospel — whatever makes you feel confident." That song will also give you a rhythm with which to perform and can help you keep your breath under control. Pro tip: Humming the melody of the song into your partner's body will give them some really good vibrations.
It’s totally fine to not know what you like or to not know how to have oral sex. In fact, some of the most satisfying sexual experiences are exploratory ones. Be open to your partner(s) about your experience, so that everyone can be on the same page. And don’t feel like you have to dive in to the deep end right off the bat.
Ease yourself in, especially if you’re new to oral sex. It can be difficult to respond to direct, intense stimuli right off the bat, so tickle and tease a little bit. "I think we should approach all types of sex more sensually," Howard says. "When you live sensually, you experience sex through all five of your senses. You're thinking about the firmness of the penis against the softness of the mouth or the feeling of the clitoris against the texture of the lips."
Maybe lick the head of your partner’s penis before you take them fully into your mouth. Or use your fingers on your partner’s clitoris before you start licking and sucking. Take a moment to appreciate the way your partner smells and the rhythm of their breath, and oral sex will feel like the sensual act it is, not just as sexual one.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it can be hard for the person receiving the oral sex to speak up about what they’re feeling. That’s why it’s so important for the person giving the oral to listen and look for non-verbal cues. "If they're pushing into your face and moaning, you can be pretty sure what you’re doing is working," Engle says. "But if they're pulling away or dead silent, try something else." And if you can't figure out how they're feeling, then don't hesitate to ask! As Engle says, "Communication is lubrication."
If your partner has a penis, work their shaft in tandem with your mouth sucking on their head. It creates a longer surface of stimulation, which can be incredibly tantalizing to some. If your partner has a clit and a vulva, don’t be afraid to rub their clit with your thumb in between sucks. Or, insert a few fingers into their vagina while you’re sucking their clit, and massage their g-spot. It’s the spongy membrane on the inside of their vagina, directly under the mons. Use two fingers in a come-hither motion to slowly work this sensitive spot.
Whether it be spit or lubricant, use a lot of it. Nothing kills the mood like sandpaper friction during oral sex. And while Howard recommends the use of flavored lube, she advises people to "stay out the kitchen" when it comes to oral sex. "I know it's fun and people think they're getting creative, but if oral sex transitions to insertive sex, you're going to challenge every pH of every genital," she says.
FYI, when the pH level of your vagina is thrown off, it can lead to itching, burning, unpleasant odor, or unusual discharge, which doesn't really make that food play seem worth it — especially since yeast feeds on refined sugar.
Engle says there are three key factors to keep in mind while performing oral sex: rhythm, style, and movement. While giving can be a bit overwhelming, Engle suggests finding a consistent rhythm and motion as you get started. Once you settle into a comfortable rhythm, you might be feeling confident enough to switch things up a bit.
Once your partner is properly worked up, try adding in a little variety. If your partner has a penis, try taking it deeply into your throat (if you’re comfortable) and then quickly change to short, head-centric sucking. If your partner has a clitoris, alternate between tickling the sensitive spot with the tip of your tongue and sucking it. "You can try moving up and down over the clitoris, left to right, or in a figure eight motion," Engle suggests. "The clitoris is the center of everything — but don't be afraid to engage the entire vulva, such as the inner and outer labia and the mons pubis. A little tongue action can also be very hot for those who enjoy it, as the entrance to the vagina is packed with nerve-endings."
One of the best ways to spice up oral sex is by incorporating a toy, and Howard's recommendation is a bullet vibrator . "You can insert the bullet into the anus while performing fellatio or cunnilingus, you can insert it into the vaginal canal and then perform cunnilingus on the vulva, you can hold it under the balls while performing oral sex on the penis — the options are unlimited."
According to Engle, showing interest in what brings your partner(s) pleasure is a huge turn-on. After all, every person’s body is different and may enjoy being stimulated in a variety of ways. Engle says simply asking your partner what they like can help you figure out what makes them feel good (and it also makes for some titillating dirty talk). "You are not a mind-reader. Don’t pretend you can see into the oral sex crystal ball," Engle says. "Ask and then do exactly what they say. If they aren't sure what they likes… well, then there is plenty of room for experimentation."
Any partner who you have going down on you should be a partner you trust to take your directions as an adult, period. So don’t be afraid to tell your partner if something just isn’t working for you, and yes, you can do this in a sexy, encouraging way so as not to break the mood.
As Engle points out, you're not in a movie theater — when you're downtown, go ahead and make some noise! "We often get into our heads and think, 'Am I taking too long? I wish I could hurry this up and orgasm,'" Engle says. "They want to know that you want to be down there." Let your partner know that you're a willing and excited participant with moans and compliments, because your enthusiasm will likely turn both you and your SO on.
In general, society tends to be a little orgasm-obsessed. Oral sex is a great way to pleasure your partner without worrying about getting them off, so focus on the journey, and not the destination. Use it as a way to learn about your partner’s pleasure and your own, because as Howard says, "Oral sex is performance art." And if you do orgasm? Well, that’s just a cherry on top.
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Corinne Sullivan is a digital writer and editor who covers a variety of beats, including lifestyle, entertainment, relationships, holidays and more. She is also the author of Indecent (Wednesday Books, 2018). You can follow her on Instagram . 
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Every item on this page was chosen by a Woman's Day editor. We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy.
©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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