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DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I have been having a great time over the past year or so, as I’ve watched her having sex with other men.
We’ve been married for seven years and have a four-year-old son. I am 34 and my wife is 31.
Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org . Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I had been trying to persuade my wife to try “hotwifing” for a long time and was thrilled when she agreed.
We were sure it would not endanger our relationship.
We joined a swinging club where they cater for things like that. It was an amazing adventure and my wife seemed to have a brilliant time.
She felt liberated and revelled in the attention and power it gave her.
We were a loving couple before we got involved — and it seemed to bring us even closer together.
Then everything seemed to go pear-shaped. Our little boy had pneumonia and had to go into hospital.
He’s OK now but the worry seemed to make my wife withdraw into herself while it made me tense and snappy.
We haven’t had sex for weeks and I asked her what was wrong. At first she said I was getting her down being so irritable and she had just gone off sex.
When I asked if she was having regrets about the swinging she broke down, saying she feels disgusted at what she’s done and how she has betrayed herself and everything she believes in — particularly her marriage vows.
I pointed out it was consensual and that she had done nothing wrong, but she is adamant. I tried to talk about the future but she says we haven’t one.
I’d be devastated to lose my wife and son but I don’t know what to do.
She won’t have anything to do with me physically — not even a kiss. Everything has gone wrong and my life feels like it is falling apart.
UP to 50 per cent of women suffer from a loss of interest in sex, sometimes due to lack of know-how, or often because of issues in their relationship or their past.

Partners can struggle to know how to help. My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire can help.
Email or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: I wonder if your wife has told herself that your son’s frightening illness was punishment for you two pushing the boundaries. Thank goodness he is all right now.
Rather than trying to argue with your wife about whether what you did was right or wrong, agree with her that it is something you will avoid in future and, if it has distressed her, that in itself means it was a bad idea.
Swinging and swapping can seem like fun at first but often leads to problems in relationships.
Stop arguing with her and work on having good family times together and I think her talk of you not having a future will die away. Obviously it’s best for your little boy to have two loving parents in a stable home.
Try to warm up your physical relationship very gradually, not pushing for sex but giving her loving kisses and cuddles.
If your longing for “hotwifing” troubles you, my e-leaflet on Kinky Sex Worries can help.
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Published: 12:23 BST, 14 July 2017 | Updated: 16:59 BST, 14 July 2017
Couples everywhere use sexy selfies to spice up their relationships, but these photos show how important it is to double check the number before sending.
The screenshots, posted on an online gallery, show women who were left red-faced after they accidentally sent their racy snaps to the wrong person.
Some shared their intimate pictures with strangers, while otherwise were mortified to discover their mother or father had received the images. 
But parents suffered their own embarrassments, with racy mothers sharing X-rated and lingerie-clad snaps meant for their husbands to their children. 
Here, FEMAIL rounds up some of the most toe-curling exchanges... 
Whoops! Someone took a sultry selfie for her significant other - but sent it to her father by mistake
Keeping things interesting: This mother meant to send a lingerie-clad picture to her husband
Oversharing: This father definitely did not want to see a picture of his daughter flashing
Tat's unexpected! This daughter accidentally sent her father a picture of her new ink
Perfect comeback: This mother stripped off to show up her posing daughter
Awkward! This father had to point out her daughter's shower selfie fail
Not for you! One stranger received a very unexpected text from an unknown number
Baring it all: This woman accidentally sent a photo of her bottom to a perfect stranger
The comments below have not been moderated.

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group

I CAUGHT my friend having sex with my wife after a drunken night out together.
I’m 36 and my wife’s 34. We’ve been married for nine years and have a daughter aged seven.
We went out with friends one night and a few of them came back for a nightcap.
My wife had been drinking quite heavily. She started nodding off so I sent her to bed. Our friends drifted off home, apart from one, an old friend of mine from school. He went to the bathroom while I started to tidy up. I suddenly heard a banging noise coming from my bedroom.
I opened the door to our room and saw my friend having sex, lying on top of my wife’s naked, unconscious body.
My wife’s arms were around him. I shouted at him to get off. My wife opened her eyes and they rolled back in her head.
I shouted again and my wife said to my friend, “You’d better stop.” He slowly got up and started to get dressed. He then walked out of the bedroom apologising. He said he didn’t know what had happened.
My wife couldn’t remember much the next day. She is embarrassed and ashamed but doesn’t want to go to the police.
She insists that nothing is going on between them. Meanwhile, I’m full of anger and rage.
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re shocked, furious and feel betrayed, and you can’t just brush this under the carpet. From the sound of it they were both very drunk.
If your wife was too drunk to give meaningful consent, it was rape clear and simple, but it is very common for raped women to feel somehow responsible, especially if they have been drinking.
If she finds it too hard to talk about this openly with you, urge her to talk to Rape Crisis ( rapecrisis.org.uk , 0808 802 9999). I doubt your friendship is going to survive this but for your daughter’s sake it is important that your marriage does.
Get Relate’s help to work through all the feelings that have been stirred up. (see relate.org.uk , 0300 100 1234).
MY dad nearly drove us both off the road in a panic when I told him I knew he’d been cheating on Mum.
My sister found some texts on his phone five years ago and it was obvious he’d been seeing somebody else.
She was 20 at the time and I was 23 and we decided not to say anything to avoid upsetting Mum.
We then had a string of silent calls to the house. Mum answered the phone one day and this woman told her everything.
My sister said she’d been sleeping with my dad for a year and that he had given her spare keys to our holiday flat.
My mum told my sister and she confessed she’d known about it for ages.
Mum said they were too old for her to do anything and she wasn’t going to leave him – they’re both 64.
Dad now has cancer and the prognosis isn’t looking good.
I’ve always been a fairly dutiful daughter but we were arguing about something unrelated in the car on the way to the hospital and I bit back at him about the affair.
Some things had gone missing from our holiday home – I knew it was this other
woman – but Dad ducked and dived and had an answer for everything.
I feel so angry that he may pass away and not admit to Mum he’s treated her badly.
DEIDRE SAYS: By all means tell your dad you think he should say sorry to your mother while he still can but if they both find denial more comfortable, you need to let it go.
Nobody can truly know what goes on in someone else’s relationship and if your mother is trying to protect herself from more hurt, that is up to her.
Your father knows the truth and it is on his conscience.
It could help to talk your feelings through with Family Lives ( familylives.org.uk , 0808 800 2222).
I ONLY found out that my partner was married when his teenage daughter turned up at our house.
I’m 45 and my partner is 48. We’ve been together for 12 years and have a five-year-old son together.
One day I was confronted by a girl demanding to see her dad. My partner came to the door and this girl went mental at him.
My partner then told me the truth – that he was married.
His daughter is 14. I felt betrayed. I keep imagining him and his wife having sex while I was on my own.
That was three months ago. I haven’t slept in his bed since.
DEIDRE SAYS: Being deceived for so long is devastating but it’s going to serve no one, least of all your son, to let your relationship freeze.
Ask him why he kept this secret. It’s no excuse but maybe he was frightened to lose you.
If you can be grown-up about this, the children might even enjoy having a half-sibling.
I TOOK an overdose when my boyfriend dumped me but he was then very sympathetic and we still have sex.
He’s got another girlfriend though.
I’m 24 and my boyfriend is 25. We were together for a few months two years ago.
We split due to my mood swings and constant paranoia.
I took the split badly and made an attempt on my life. My boyfriend was so supportive and confided in my friend that he was still in love with me.
He got back in touch with me a few months ago and we’ve had sex a few times since.
I know he still cares, but he’s going out with another girl at the moment.
Could he be scared to commit to me because of what I did?
DEIDRE SAYS: Your suicide attempt must have been very scary for your boyfriend.
I hope you are now getting the help you need. Often the underlying problem is your own lack of self-esteem.
And I worry this is leading you to have sex with him even though he has another girlfriend now.
Tell him he has to make a choice and don’t have sex with him again unless he
commits to you.
I’m sending you my e-leaflet on Raising Self-Esteem.
MY husband hasn’t so much as touched me since I gave birth to our baby boy six months ago.
I am 24 and my husband is two years older.
We have been married for three years and our relationship has always been good – until now.
I have done everything I can possibly think of to initiate sex with him but nothing works.
It is really starting to affect my confidence and I am sure our lack of
closeness will be having a bad effect on our baby.
I am especially worried because he has started coming home late – and always seems keen to get out of the house at every opportunity.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexual guilt leads some men to find it difficult to link sex with the mother of their child.
Some can’t get the image of childbirth out of their heads or feel guilty about having put you through a painful experience.
But of course you need to talk with him about what’s going on.
Maybe he is also feeling pushed out and rejected.
Then try the tactics in my advice line Sex Play Therapy. Ring 09067 577 162.
MY ex has told our children she’s pregnant and I’m worried she will start to neglect them once the baby arrives.
We divorced three years ago. Our children are seven and five and they live with me and my lovely partner most of the time.
My ex has the kids a couple of nights a week but often says she can’t cope.
She’s had many boyfriends since the divorce, and our kids don’t even know the surname of the dad-to-be. Should I insist we meet up to discuss this?
DEIDRE SAYS: Meeting up sounds sensible. But offer extra support rather than accuse her. Is the unborn baby’s dad still about? If so, invite him too.
Family Lives can help you negotiate this tricky situation ( familylives.org.uk , 0800 800 2222).
I WAS totally shocked to discover my widowed dad has been viewing gay websites.
I’m 43 and my dad has been widowed for the past two years after a long and happy marriage.
He bought a laptop recently and I often check my emails during visits. Pop-ups for a gay website appeared last week.
I checked the browsing history and my dad had been viewing gay websites.
Should I raise it with him or ignore it?
DEIDRE SAYS: Assuming the participants were of age and the material is legal, then it’s none of your business.
Many straight men look at gay porn, so don’t jump to conclusions, and I think it will embarrass you both if you ask him about it.
Tell me what you think on my Facebook page today .
You can follow my life and sex tips on Twitter @deardeidre

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©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy . To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us . To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)
Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/

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Woman Takes Along Her Husband For An Important Dinner At Her New Boss’ House, Doesn’t Expect It To End Like This
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There are times in life where you need to be at your very best, make a great impression and start off in the best possible way. Meeting your new boss for dinner at her place can be considered as one of these occasions.
This is the story of a supportive man, accompanying his nervous wife to dinner with her boss at her brand new job. Sounds like a pretty cool guy right? Turns out, not so much. When confronted with a raw meat problem (think Mr. Bean , hiding little pieces of his steak tartar all over his table) he decided instead to use a less sophisticated and probably even dumber approach.
Scroll down below to read how this epic tale unfolded, first from the point of view of the husband, and then his wife. Bon appetit!
(Image credits: nvernon123 | Not the author’s photo)
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
As a writer and image editor for Bored Panda, Giedrė crafts posts on many different topics to push them to their potential. She's also glad that her Bachelor’s degree in English Philology didn’t go to waste (although collecting dust in the attic could also be considered an achievement of aesthetic value!) Giedrė is an avid fan of cats,
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