Women's Assholes

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Women's Assholes
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Oh my god, this is so crazy. [laughs]
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We've established that all couples are disgusting , and I'm not just talking about the pet names — I'm talking about the way that every time you and your sweetie exchange a tender kiss, that kiss contains 80 million bacteria (okay, I'm also talking about the pet names). Yeah, those are 80 million harmless bacteria, but the whole thing still feels a little gross. And that's not even touching on all the gross stuff that couples do that doesn't involve swapping any bacteria, but does involve being wildly foul —like sharing toothbrushes, pooping with the door open, or picking a stray piece of broccoli out of their teeth. It's enough to make you want to swear off dating and barricade yourself inside your house alone forever, right?
Well, you might want to think it over a little more before you take a vow of celibacy and commit to a monogamous relationship with Seamless — because as foul as we are in pairs, we are inarguably a thousand times fouler on our own. After all, no matter how long you've been in a relationship, you still probably hope that the other person still finds you kinda sexy, or dignified, or at least doesn't think that you have actual chunks of garbage flowing through your veins.
But when you're alone, there's no one you have to impress by not peeing in the shower, or, you know, even taking an actual shower. And that is why when we're alone, we let loose —with these 19 thoroughly disgusting solo behaviors below that pretty much every woman does (but I'm sure you've never done any of them, fair maiden).
Especially when someone in your office mentions a "weird smell." I mean, it's never actually you that's the weird smell, but that fact seems to have little impact on one's overall crotch stank paranoia levels.
Soap down the pits and crotch, hit your roots with some dry shampoo, and no one is the wiser (right? RIGHT??).
Raise your hand if you have ever suffered the instant karma of peeing in the shower, only to have the drain immediately become clogged, leaving you covered in soap, standing in pee water, and cursing the day you were born.
Bonus points if the hair strand is so long that it has managed to wedge itself into both your butt crack and vulva. Double bonus points if you only realize the hair is stuck there after you start hooking up with someone, and desperately try to figure out a way to extract it without drawing too much attention.
Even though every other time you've done this, it's gotten torn to weird shreds and left your underwear a bloody mess, you still hold out hope that this time is going to be different. No one in the world is as blindly optimistic as a woman who has just made a pad out of toilet paper.
I mean, it does look kind of cool. But it's still probably not an acceptable topic to bring up at brunch. Same goes for poop.
It's so strange how when you dealt it they somehow don't smell as bad.
Everyone has a favorite, right? Mine's a Neutrogena microdermabrasion wand with the exfoliating pad ripped off. Sonicare toothbrushes can, however, be disappointing.
The feeling of relief that washes over your body after you successfully extract an ingrown pubic hair is probably life's greatest feeling that can be shared with absolutely no one else ever.
I have a single chin hair, which I once measured before plucking it. It was one inch long. Does admitting this on the internet mean that I'm no longer eligible for any political jobs?
Your skin always looks worse after, but you feel so satisfied.
And not just because you forgot to bring your phone in with you when you went to the bathroom (but also that).
You know, the piece of gum that's been knocked out of its wrapper by random purse crap? The kind that you'd act super disgusted about and make a big show of throwing out if someone else were there?
Admit it: when you are all alone, you caress your last-shaved-five-days-ago calves lovingly, as if they were a beloved house pet.
Dudes, you are not the only one who stick your hand down your pants in a non-sexual way while you're watching TV. This is your notice.
Sometimes just around the bra band area; sometimes all over the boobs themselves, if you've gotten really sweaty that day. Way more pleasurable than it should be.
The crack between your bed and the wall is not a trashcan.
Or a whole package of Oreos. Or most of a pizza. Then falling asleep next to the plate; then looking at the evidence in the morning with an air of shock and confusion, like you have no idea what happened. Who ate garlic knots in your bed last night? Probably aliens! It's the only reasonable answer! Or ghosts. Could have also been ghosts.

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Mark Hay
Mark Hay is a Brooklyn-based reporter who writes frequently about health, medicine, and sex for publications like Men’s Health, Men’s Journal, VICE, Aeon, Slate, and more.


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Everyone does the finger in the butt move now, but not that long ago, it was strictly taboo.
Just over 15 years ago, the idea of a man fingering a woman’s ass as sexual play was fairly foreign to many Americans. Literally. The 2002 edition of The Joy of Sex , the late Alex Comfort’s seminal 1972 illustrated guide to everything sexual, refers to the act as postillionage , a distinctly French (read: bizarre European libertine) tradition, with which a New York Times reviewer was, circa 2003, completely unfamiliar. It was the provenance of kink or tantric sex —wild and outré.
Yet today, man-on-woman anal fingering is functionally mainstream . It is hard to find solid data on how many people know of or experience it; most researchers don’t see the act as a sexual health priority worth studying. But anecdotes from forums across the digital world suggest it is a now common practice. Many men find anal fingering so desirable, or so routine, that for the past few years it has seemingly become common for guys to try to slip a finger up their partners’ rectums, sometimes without any prior notice or discussion, even on a first date or hookup. As Sheena Sharma wrote in 2015 , “the unwelcome finger is a plague upon bedrooms across America.”
So what changed? How and when did anal fingering go from an apparently niche act to a ho-hum part of many men’s sexual repertoires? And what about it do men find appealing? Given how little we talk about sex as a culture, much less document major shifts in our sexual practices, it is hard to say for sure. But sex experts do have a basic sense of how we normalized the finger up her butt.
It is worth establishing that, no matter how unusual it may have seemed to many Americans just a couple decades ago, anal fingering has likely been around as long as our species. Humans are both experimental and pleasure-seeking beings; we explore our bodies, especially in the fumbling heat of sex, discovering every possible erogenous zone that we can. And the anus can be, explains sex educator Eric Garrison , an erogenous zone for any gender thanks to the tons of sensory nerves within it. It is even possible for women some women to orgasm through anal fingering, or other forms of anal play including full-on anal sex, that wind up stimulating their g-spots. (Men, of course, can also orgasm from anal fingering thanks to prostate stimulation.) So some women have likely always worked anal fingering into their masturbatory habits . And some couples have likely always worked it into their sex lives, either as a warm-up for anal sex or a stimulating end in itself.
However, the commonality of anal play of all sorts has shifted throughout history , depending on the sexual mores of a given culture or era. And America has long been hostile to anal sexuality. Religious traditions, and religiously-derived laws, frowning on sodomy long kept not only anal play but oral sex and more both taboo and, technically, illegal in much of the nation. Such taboo acts didn’t even show up often in stag films , proto-pornos of the early 20 th century that indulged in seemingly modern tableaus like threesomes and quips about bestiality fairly freely.
Americans also long viewed “any type of anal sexual behavior as happening explicitly among gay men,” says sex researcher Kimberly McBride , Ph.D.. Gays as a group have long been stigmatized in this nation by religious and non-religious folk alike. (In truth, not all men who have sex with men actually enjoy or engage in anal play of any kind , and not all who do enjoy anal do it every time they get physically intimate.) On top of these cultural and moral taboos, adds McBride, Americans have long had trouble getting over the idea that the anus is irredeemably, existentially dirtier than any other part of our bodies.
However, American taboos against anal play never actually shut off anal fingering, licking, sex, or any other form of stimulation, stresses sexologist Carol Queen , Ph.D. In a sense, they may have added a new level of eroticism to it for some. Crossing lines and doing something one sees as new and daring can be, Garrison explains, a deep source of psychological stimulation . But they did send it underground, making it harder to hear about anal fingering, think about exploring one’s own butt, stumble upon anal stimulation and accept any pleasure one finds in it, or feel justified exploring it with a partner.
New cultural forces started to chip away at these taboos and draw stigmatized sexual practices out of the shadows, though during the latter half of the 20 th century. There is not much information on how much the sexual revolution of the ‘60s involved a counter-culture reevaluation of the ass. But by the ‘70s, many of the first mainstream porn directors started to feature anal fingering or sex in their films. “Anything directed by Zachary Strong in the early ‘80s usually features digital-anal penetration,” notes porn historian Charles Devlin, and Harry Reems put his thumb in a few asses in his early films. Rapidly, references to anal sexuality started to leak into mainstream films as well—like Last Tango in Paris , a notorious Bernardo Burtolucci film from 1972 in which Marlon Brando’s American character anally rapes a French woman played by Maria Schneider using butter for lube. (Don’t watch it. Burtolucci sprung the scene on Schneider without notice so, while there was no actual penetration, it is actually a recorded sexual assault.)
As porn started to get more accessible moving into the ‘80s, Queen adds, sex-positive education that explored pleasure, not just the nuts and bolts of procreation, started to proliferate in parts of America as well, dissecting anal taboos and teaching people about the joys of all manner of anal play. By the mid-‘90s, the proliferation of the internet made it much easier for people across the country to discretely peruse porn, seek out diverse sexual information, and talk to each other about their experiences. As a bonus, in 2003 a milestone Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v. Texas , toppled America’s remaining anti-sodomy laws. And during the George W. Bush presidency, a series of attempts to bust porn producers on obscenity charges for depicting non-normative sex acts, like extreme anal play, fell flat. Suddenly, anal sexuality felt less legally, officially dangerous as well.
All of these forces seemingly led to increased awareness of anal sexuality by the late ‘80s, when people like Garrison remember seeing the “shocker” hand gesture, in which men mime putting their index and middle fingers in a woman’s vagina and using their pinky to rub or penetrate her ass, used blithely by high school and college students. And by the mid-‘90s, people started to engage with anal play more actively. Preliminary research in the early 20 th century suggested that maybe 10 percent of woman had tried anal sex once in their lives. By the 1990s, a fifth of all women and a quarter of all men had tried anal sex at least once, according to the research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The rate of people trying anal at least once, or working it into their regular sex lives, has only risen since then. Today, says McBride, strong survey data suggests that 40 to 45 percent of all American men and women will try anal sex at least once in their lives.
It is hard to know for sure, points out sex educator and anal expert Charlie Glickman , how much these figures capture an actual increase in the prevalence of anal play, and how much they just capture an increased openness to talking about pre-existing anal practices. People lie on sex surveys all the time, even when they are totally anonymous, thanks to ingrained taboos.
But by the end of the aughts , hetero anal play was common enough that sexual health researchers truly started to take note of it. By the dawn of the teens, it was normalized enough in the American sexual landscape that the prolific porn star Asa Akira could declare on Twitter “ass is the new pussy,” and people (and mainstream media outlets ) largely nodded and said, that sounds right . And by the mid-teens, social scientists were reporting that young men and women both increasingly saw anal play as just one more common feature of or milestone in sex—a box they believed they had to tick to do all the things , be good at sex , or be suitably chill and sexual and thus be cool .
Granted, none of this tells us exactly when anal fingering got to be so common, given the focus of so many studies and cultural analyses on penile penetrative anal sex. “One of my frustrations with sexual science,” grips McBride, “has been the lack of attention given to anal sexuality among heterosexuals … and the idea of emphasizing intercourse without recognizing that there is a whole repertoire of anal sex practices that people participate in,” including but not limited to fingering.
But chances are, most of the experts I’ve spoken to agree, that anal fingering rode the same general wave of normalization that anal sex did. And one recent, limited study suggests that anal fingering has probably grown more common than anal sex, analingus, or other forms of anal play.
That makes sense. While a shocking number of men do try to jump straight into anal sex with no warm up, likely misguided by porn, which hides the prep stars go through for an anal scene. Many use anal fingering to stretch out and arouse a partner before consensual and well planned anal sex. Many couples also use fingering alone to build up to broader anal play later in a relationship. After all, notes Alicia Sinclair , founder of anal sex toy maker b-Vibe, many people find a penis or toy intimidating, but a finger is a good size for experimentation, and allows for solid control.
But many men also seem to use anal fingering to test the waters for further anal play. If a woman lets a man get away with putting a finger up her ass, Garrison explains, that man may feel he has a chance of having anal sex later. Men often do this in lieu of talking to a partner about their feelings on anal play. They seem to have developed a complete strategy, McBride says, likely spread via word of mouth or digital connections, of pretending that their finger or penis slipped into a female partner’s asshole—that way, if she doesn’t like it, they can say it was just a mistake. (Most people, McBride argues, do not seem to actually accidentally stumble into anal stimulation with a partner.) Needless to say, this testing the waters approach doesn’t seem that successful on its own, so many men and women wind up with anal fingering as their only, almost routine, anal play experience.
Some men may not want anal sex, but still finger their partners’ assholes. They may get a kick out of the taboo-breaking element of anal contact. (Interest in anal fingering alone as a minor kink actually seems relatively common .) Or they may enjoy the pleasure their partners tell them they get out of anal stimulation. Although pop culture often talks about anal as something men push for unilaterally, McBride stresses that many women “are actually introducing the idea to their male partners” of anal fingering as an end in itself, or of fingering as a lead up wider anal play.
Or they may just believe, whether or not they like anal play, based on feedback from past partners who like anal play or bad guidance from cultural figures like Russell Brand’s character in 2008’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall , that all women like anal stimulation. In this case, they may try to get a finger up a woman’s ass, often without asking, just to feel like they ticked all the good sex boxes.
Some men may even finger their partners’ asses because they want their own asses fingered or fucked, points out couples counselor Israel Helfand . Heterosexual male interest in prostate and other forms of anal stimulation has exploded in the la
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