Women Talking Dirty During Sex
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Women Talking Dirty During Sex
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Fancy bringing something fresh into your usual sexual routine? If you’re in a long-term relationship and you're ready to take play time up a notch, or you simply like the idea of trying new things, talking dirty to your lover could be a good idea.
Forget what's in your pants for a moment. Your mind is actually your most powerful sexual organ – and dirty talk can activate the erogenous zones of the brain: the hypothalamus and amygdala.
Yep, the right words spoken at the right time can seriously supercharge your sex drive. To back this theory up, in a survey carried out by Superdrug Online Doctor , 90% of the participants felt aroused by erotic talk with their partner.
Having said that, if you’re shy or feel at all anxious, the idea of saying saucy things out loud might be a bit scary. But according to Silva Neves , an Accredited Psychosexual and Relationship Psychotherapist, articulating just what you want from your bae – and expressing how much you're enjoying yourself – can inject serious passion into your sex life. So how do you get started?
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to talking dirty. What’s important is discovering the type of language and vocabulary that you and your partner find sexy. Try the following 13 tips out for size and see where the words take you...
Anxious about divulging your darkest fantasies right away? There is no rush, so move at a pace that feels comfortable to you. This could mean simply opening up the conversation with your partner to gauge their feelings on the subject, or sending a text with a compliment about how hot they look. Anticipation can be incredibly sexy , so even thinking about what you’d like to say could be enough to get you in the mood.
Your phone can be a handy tool when it comes to dirty talk, especially if you’re feeling shy. Start by sending flirty texts and see where it takes you. Once your confidence has grown, go old school and pick up the phone.
It’s much easier to talk dirty from a distance and whispering to each other from afar can be seriously sexy. To supercharge your phone sex voice, use your favourite sex toy while you’re on the call. We're big fans of this clitoral suction stimulator . But be warned, it's likely to make you climax pretty fast.
If you’re feeling tongue-tied, turn the mic around and try asking some probing questions. Start with: what turns you on? What would you like me to do to you? What is your favourite position? And see where it takes you. You can learn a lot about your lover and turn up the heat for you both simply by being curious.
It sounds simple, but something as small as showing enthusiasm and putting your GameFace on can make your partner feel desired, which will in turn make them more receptive to the mood.
So don't be shy, say how you feel out loud and see what happens. As soon as your lover senses the atmospheric shift, they are bound to play along.
If you're shy, anxious, or just not great with words, use the 21st century tools at your disposal and Facetime your other half before you see them. Close the doors, light some candles, slip into your favourite underwear and press the video button.
Sometimes pictures can say more than words, and the sight of your smiling face will surely set their heart racing
Erotica and pornography are great sources of inspiration for dirty talk and can help you figure out what ticks your boxes. If you’re not ready to subscribe to PornHub, try a second viewing of Bridgerton for some simple but sexy one-liners. In the words of Lady Bridgerton, "I Burn… For You!”
There's a reason that the romance genre accounts for a huge percentage of adult book fiction sales across the UK. Reading about sex is sexy. Reading about sex out loud to your lover is even sexier. So, treat your beloved to a book of erotic short stories . Reading from a page can also take the fear out of not knowing what to say, and the stories in this book are frankly rather steamy.
If you’d prefer to ease yourself into sexy chat, invite your lover over, open the wine and suggest a card game. This deck of Talk Dirty Playing Cards is the perfect way to get the words flowing without giving you stage fright. Each card comes with a sexy phrase and instruction, so you’ll both be dirty talk pros within the hour. Or to really turn the heat up, this Tease & Please Truth or Dare Card Game will quickly get you both in the mood.
Sex toys can help with almost every sexual scenario, so try adding some gadgets into the mix. Head over to sex toy retailer Lovehoney and ask your partner to help you choose what to buy together. Discussing your likes and dislikes over a shopping cart can be surprisingly arousing, and the anticipation of waiting for the post to arrive will work as great foreplay. If you're not sure where to start, we can recommend this 10-piece wild weekend couple's sex toy kit for fun explorations, or this Rabbit love ring will stimulate the right bits during penetrative sex. We’ll take next day delivery please.
Certain aspects of dirty talk might go down better than others, so remain receptive but be honest about the type of pillow talk that you’d prefer to avoid. Some people get turned on by language like ‘slut’ or 'dirty girl', while others might find it offensive and a total turn-off.
‘Talking to your partner and getting to know their sensitivities and their values is important,’ says Silva. ‘Some people think that name-calling is unacceptable because of values or because they were name-called as a child.’ If you’d rather be called honey bunny or even your actual name, tell your partner! Honesty is always the best policy.
We all have enough to worry about without adding the stress of getting our sexy chat spot on every time. Relax and focus on saying what feels natural, so you can stay present and enjoy the moment. Chances are, your partner fancies the arse off you and would shag you even if you sang show tunes, so take the pressure off and have fun.
Creating your secret love language and finding the right phrases to use can be an important aspect of establishing trust and intimacy in a relationship. But after a while it can become predictable, so try mixing it up. ‘Dirty talk might have less erotic power over time, but you don’t need to change the theme,’ says Silva. ‘For example, if you get turned on by sexy names, simply change your pet name every once in a while.’
In the above mentioned Superdrug survey, 44% of participants said that hearing their other half moan in ecstasy turned them on the most because it 'produces a physical and tangible representation of pleasure and offers a sign to someone’s partner that the interaction is enjoyable.'
If you’re game for anything but need some hot tips, give some of the below sentences a go. Keeping the channels of communication flowing can be sexy in the moment, and also provide useful tips for future sex sessions.
If our guide to dirty talk didn’t convince you to start whispering sweet nothings in the bedroom tonight, there are myriad plus points to talking dirty during sex that will have you hollering your partner’s name all night long.
Talking dirty with a partner can help you better understand each other’s sexual preferences, making you both feel more comfortable and sexually satisfied. ‘It can help to shift the focus from being sexy, to doing sex,’ says Silva.
Receiving and giving verbal feedback on what feels good in bed can be great for everyone's sexual confidence. ‘Talking dirty is sometimes associated with an erotic sense of self, meaning that people can connect with a part of themselves that enhances their sexual expression,’ says Silva.
‘So, calling a partner a particular sexy name or adjective might allow them to feel or behave more in-line with that part of themselves.’
Openly sharing what you want from a sexual encounter with a partner can lead to positive experimentation. ‘Talking dirty can be linked to stories and fantasies, so a consensual demand to have something sexual done to you can enhance the power play,’ says Silva. This bondage kit for beginners will also help set the scene.
Let’s be honest, sometimes you just aren’t up for physically getting down. On those days, talking dirty can be a good filler. ‘It can help with maintaining an erotic energy in the relationship, especially during times when people don’t feel sexual or when they’re not in the mood to get physical,’ says Silva.
What better reason to experiment with talking dirty than a bit of well-deserved enjoyment? Throw this Couple’s Sex Toy Starter Kit into the mix to really get the party started. Just don't forget the lube ...
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Real women reveal what turns them on.
Here are some words of wisdom coming from a woman: When you’re having sex, there are few things hotter than perfectly executed dirty talk.
However, I fear there may be some confusion, so I’m going to emphasize the words ‘perfectly executed,’ because if you get all up in her ear and stutter like a blubbering idiot, it’s not going to be hot. Speaking from experience, here.
That’s why I was delighted when I came across the AskReddit thread titled “ Ladies, what do you want to hear when he talks dirty? ” because we could all use some more nasty talk in our lives.
To pick the best pieces of advice from this lengthy reddit thread, I read through quite literally all of the comments, and compiled this list of 15 things she actually wants to hear when you talk dirty to her in the sack.
1. How much I’m desired. Nothing is sexier when my man tells me how much he wants me.
Ex. “Fuck, I want you so bad.” “You are so hot. I’m so fucking lucky.” – NoOneKnowsMe57
2. I love when I get close and he tells me to cum for him. – Limethistle
3. I like being told what you want to do to me. Especially when it is unexpected. Give me a tight hug, and tell me you cant wait util we are alone so you can fuck me. Stuff like that? I’ll be a puddle. – VioletViola
4. Before we get naked, having him grab me from behind and press himself into me while describing what he wants to do to me is super hot. I like to hear how good I make him feel, or how good I feel on him. – MMMegaladon
5. During foreplay, I love to hear the desperate moans of a man who wants to feel the pleasure of being inside me. That is a HUGE turn on. I also love to hear how hard he is for me. – mvloddy
6. A deep, pleasurable moan, followed with, “Your pussy is so tight…it feels amazing..” – Limethistle
7. When my partner is going downtown, I like him to tell me I taste good. – imtk
8. I like when my boyfriend says “You like that?” into my ear and then spanks me. I love when he does whatever he wants to me. – catsnout
10. I love hearing my name and how beautiful I am. – ANAL_QUEEN
11. My boyfriend says ‘Oh God I love you.’ It’s my favorite. It’s both loving and sexual, and it’s just hot. – omittingpit
12. During sex, I’m honestly not into the “dirty talk” thing. Personally, I like body language better. For example, I LOVE it when my boyfriend pulls my hair a bit, or when he runs his nails down my back (if i’m on top). I also love when he kisses my neck or ears. To me, these simple things turn me on WAY more than any words that he could ever say.
However, if he does say something, I agree with the rest of the women on here and say that I like compliments and being reminded of how much he wants me. – oseybear
13. When you say something like “I want to fuck you so bad,” make your voice sound almost like a plea — like you would die without out it. Say it under your breath and close to my ear, and I’ll completely melt. – Natacat_Mow
14. When he’s fully inside me, pressing into my cervix and pulling me into his chest, he will tuck his face into my neck and shoulder and breathe warm, moist breath down it and alternate with gentle, non-hickey sucking, soft kisses, and very light teeth pressure/dragging. – Limethistle
15. For me, it always depends on the “type” of sex we’re having that night. Sometimes it is raw and rough and dirty sex, and I like to hear nasty talk…”you’re my little whore”, “come for me”, “you like that cock deep inside?”…etc. However, when it is a soft and slow love-making night, soft moans and sighs, “I love you”, “You are so beautiful”, “I love how you feel” is best. – virginiaraine
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Dirty talk can feel like walking through a minefield.
Most people feel completely embarrassed and ridiculous at the thought of trying it, because they’ve never been taught the basic guidelines.
In the bedroom, when someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker suddenly freezes up like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper thrown out of an igloo in Antartica.
“What should I say? What do they want me to say? Could I go too far? What if I can’t go far enough, or just sound lame, or stupid?”
Dirty talk is an often overlooked but very powerful aspect of eroticism. It activates the imagination, supercharges sexual polarity , and adds a steamy air of liberation to your naked shenanigans.
Just like sex itself, dirty talk is something that needs to be calibrated to whoever is receiving it. Maybe something that you qualify as ‘dirty talk’ is something the other person might find offensive, silly, or straight up insane, and vice versa.
Let’s clear the air and lay some ground rules.
This is the ultimate guide to dirty talk. I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk.
(For the record, I don’t believe
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