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According to one study, 62% of women admitted to fantasizing about being forced to have sex.
One explanation for women fantasizing about forced sex is that it bolsters their feelings of seductiveness and desirability.
Women who have rape fantasies do not want to be sexually assaulted. Rather, they feel comfortable with their own sexuality.
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Relationships
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted August 1, 2015
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
In recent studies, more than 90 percent of women admit having had sexual fantasies , and depending on the study, some one-third to two-thirds confess at least occasional fantasies of being forced into sex. Of course, sexual assault is a horrible violation. Why would any sane woman fantasize about it? A recent study suggests that rape fantasies are most prevalent among women who are the most erotically open and adventurous, who feel most comfortable daydreaming about sexual situations way beyond what they’d ever want to experience.
Researchers at Notre Dame and the University of North Texas gave standard psychological tests to 355 women undergraduates, who formed a reasonable demographic cross-section of young Americans. Then the researchers surveyed the women’s sexual fantasies. And finally the women were asked if they’d ever fantasized:
Note: The researchers did not define “forced” or “rape,” leaving participants to use their own understanding of these terms, “forced” having somewhat less negative connotations than “rape.”
This study was far from the first to attempt to understand why some women have rape fantasies.
Decades ago, psychologists believed that dreams and fantasies (daydreams) were subconscious wishes, therefore, women who had rape fantasies actually wanted to be coerced into sex. That view has been thoroughly debunked. Fantasies don’t necessarily reflect wishes. Among those in long-term relationships, one of the most common fantasies is sex with someone else, even when the daydreamer is happy in the relationship and has no real desire to jump into another bed. Plenty of men fantasize about saving damsels in distress without the slightest real wish to face a raging fire on the 23rd floor. Wishing plays a role in some fantasies, notably dreams of striking it rich or losing weight, but having an erotic fantasy in no way means you want it to come true.
So forget wish fulfillment. Today psychologists suggest that women’s rape fantasies have three other possible explanations:
Confirming earlier studies on the prevalence of rape fantasies, 62 percent of participants admitted fantasizing at least one of the eight scenarios:
Note: The participants were considerably more likely to fantasize being “forced” than “raped,” presumably because “rape” carries more connotations of violence and harm.
The high prevalence of rape fantasies—almost two-thirds of the women—suggest that they play a significant role in the fantasy lives of college-age women, and presumably many older women as well.
Meanwhile, in line with other assessments, 15 percent of study participants reported being survivors of sexual assault. The researchers found no relationship, either direct or inverse, between real-life rape and whether participants had any type of rape fantasy.
The frequency of rape fantasies varied considerably. Among respondents who admitted fantasies of being forced by men, 33 percent had them less than once a year, 26 percent a few times a year, 20 percent once a month, 11 percent weekly, and 9 percent at least four times a week.
Among the 71 participants who reported fantasies of being forced by women, 50 said they were heterosexual.
Contrary to the conventional wisdom that rape fantasies are based on blame avoidance ( I was coerced. It wasn’t my fault. ), the researchers found this the least supported explanation. The most sexually anxious, guilty, and repressed women had the fewest rape fantasies.
The data provided the most support for sexual openness ( I’m free to fantasize anything .) followed by sexual desirability ( I’m so hot. I drive men crazy. )
The most sexually open and self-accepting women had the most rape fantasies. They also had the most fantasies of consensual sex. And they reported the most arousal from their erotic fantasies.
The women who considered themselves hotties also had frequent rape fantasies. (They were also the most likely to fantasize about being strippers.)
In fantasy, everything is permitted and nothing is wrong. Not everyone accepts this, but as sexual openness increases, so does willingness to daydream about sexual scenarios one would never really want to experience.
Women who have rape fantasies don’t want to be sexually assaulted. They feel comfortable with their own sexuality and are happy to embrace their erotic fantasies—wherever they may lead.
Bivona, JM et al. “Women’s Rape Fantasies: An Empirical Evaluation of the Major Explanations,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2012) 41:1107.
Bivona, JM and. “The Nature of Women’s Rape Fantasies: An Analysis of Prevalence, Frequency, and Contents,” Journal of Sex Research (2009) 46:33.
Critelli, JW and JM Bivona. “Women’s Erotic Rape Fantasies: An Evaluation of Theory and Research,” Journal of Sex Research (2008) 45:57.
Shulman, JL and SG Horne. “Guilty or Not? A Path Model of Women’s Forceful Sexual Fantasies,” Journal of Sex Research (2006) 43:368.
Spitzberg, B. “An Analysis of Empirical Estimates of Sexual Aggression Victimization and Perpetration,” Violence and Victims (1999) 14:241.
Strassberg, DS and LK Lokerd,” Force in Women’s Sexual Fantasies,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (1998) 27:403.
Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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