Women Secret Sex
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Women Secret Sex
by Mike Piscitelli and Laura Roberson Published: May 2, 2013
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What you don't know could be sabotaging your sex life. But what you're about to learn could help you discover untapped pleasure.
We women like to keep a few secrets. But holding back too much is like wearing a bra while having sex—we know that baring all gives guys a more honest (and hotter) perspective.
That's why Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a professor of sexuality at Indiana University, invites her students to anonymously submit sexual secrets to her Tumblr blog, IUSecrets. "The beginning of a relationship is about 'impression management'—trying to look attractive, to be smart and interesting," she says. "But to create connection, we need to be vulnerable. Revealing secrets lets people do that."
And it can be pretty hot. When we asked women to spill their sex secrets and desires, threesomes and orgies showed up a dozen times. Girl-on-girl was a common theme. Then there were the sexual sleights of hand: infidelity, fake orgasms, no orgasms at all. (We hope your wife's name isn't Jennifer. See the third quote below.)
Here we divulge 41 of women's steamiest, raunchiest, and yes, most disturbing secrets—and help you strip down your own sex life so the only secret in her closet is Victoria's. (Speaking of naughty sex, The Men's Health Big Book of Sex will start your journey toward a more passionate, exciting, and enjoyable sex life today!)
"I asked a man to move across the country with me, with no intention of marrying him." —Kelsey, 23
"I want to make a game out of initiating sex in public places, where some earn more points than others." —Tara, 31
"I had my first real orgasm this summer. I've been married nearly 15 years." —Jennifer, 35
"I've had two threesomes, same girl." —Emily, 23
"Before I start dating a new guy, I do an unhealthy amount of research—Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, even criminal records. Then I casually bring up things in conversation that make him think we have something obscure in common." —Kelsey, 23
In the age of online dating, we've begun measuring compatibility by obscure common interests. ("OMG, she loves truffle fries too!") Resist that urge. "If you're a little different, you learn new things. Your world expands," says Herbenick. "Show her all sides of you, and she may be intrigued by something that never even occurred to her." It's okay to do some YouTube research, say, for the sake of conversation. But draw the line at pretending that you, too, are dying for a Spice Girls reunion. You're not fooling anyone.
"I lost my virginity on a one-night stand . . . and I don't think that's such a big deal." —Sarah, 22
"I will always do it better myself." —Valerie, 22
"I want to watch him masturbate." —Stephanie, 23
"Watching porn turns me on. Something about seeing a woman naked excites me." —Alicia, 24
"I visualize women when I masturbate." —Suz, 25
"You're beautiful" sounds different coming from another man's mouth. "W omen often don't trust compliments from their partner," says Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., coauthor of Reclaiming Desire . "They think, 'You love me, so of course you feel that way.' A compliment that comes from a stranger may feel more validating." Try turning it into foreplay: Suggest she flirt with someone non-threatening, like the bartender (he's used to it), and watch from afar for a voyeuristic thrill, says Brandon.
"I'm worried that we pushed things too far too fast, but I don't know if we can survive toning it down between the sheets." —Lily, 24
"I stripped on amateur night at a strip club." —Shannon, 23
This may be one secret she enjoys keeping. In a Journal of Sexual Medicine study, more than two-thirds of women said their guy would probably be okay with their vibrator, yet they still keep their toy a secret. To feel her out, "start with something positive—'I think the idea of a vibrator is sexy.' Then ask if she uses one and if she's open to using it together," says Herbenick. If she's game, start with the Silver Bullet—it's about 5 bucks, has a multispeed dial, and is small enough to fit closely between your bodies. (Pro tip: If she likes the Silver Bullet, then upgrade the fun with these other couple-friendly sex toys !)
"I'm great at phone sex." —Lisa, 35
"I secretly want to have sex with a woman." —Alina, 35
Nearly one in seven straight women admit to being attracted to other women, a Cornell study found. So why hasn't your GF fessed up to lesbian fantasies? " She may be afraid you'll be turned on by the idea of another woman," Engler says. "That's often what compels women to keep this inside their masturbation world." Your play: Frame fantasy sharing as an intimacy builder, not a source of inspiration, so she knows that it's her hot thoughts—not the prospect of a third party—that thrill you. "My number" —Janie, 25
About 10 percent of the women we surveyed told us their roster of partners is their biggest sexual secret. On this one, don't force full disclosure. "You don't need to know specifics—'Tom had the biggest penis; they did it 10 times in one day,'" says Linda Banner, Ph.D., author of Advanced Sexual Techniques . Just ask for the CliffsNotes version of her history, focusing on her, not the men. "Find out what felt good to her, what fostered feelings of sexual satisfaction and intimacy—and what didn't," says Brandon.
"I fantasize about other men all the time." —Liz, 25
Is her fantasy man Brad Pitt or her tennis coach? Doesn't matter. "Most people have fantasized about someone other than their partner. That's not a concern," Herbenick says. "The question is, does she also fantasize about you?" In a University of Vermont study, a third of women's fantasies were about another dude, but their partner was the star the rest of the time. A bad sign: "If you just lay there rubbing each other's genitals, you're both probably in fantasy," says Engler. "That's not passion."
"I'd like to have sex more often if it weren't so meaningless or chorelike. Seduce me, turn me on!" —Courtney, 25
"I would daydream about you, but you don't fulfill my desires and fantasies in bed. I wish you had a little Christian Grey in you." —Stacy, 40
Once a cheater, always a cheater? Not necessarily. But you still need to fill each other in on prior infidelities. "You need to both feel confident you know why it happened so you feel confident you can prevent it,'' says Brandon. Banner adds: "You should worry only if she hasn't connected the dots—'This is what I learned, and this is why I did it.'" Even if you've both been faithful, talk about temptation every 6 months, says Brandon. " This keeps things from becoming secretive." "I want to be tied up and not know what's coming next." —Jennie, 36
"I still check my ex-boyfriend's e-mail." —Maria, 26
"I slept with my boyfriend's brother." —Ana, 32
"I check his phone/e-mail all the time. I know it's bad, but I have to 'fact-check' every guy I date." —Katie, 20
"I thought it would hurt less to tell someone I had too much on my plate at work and school than to admit that I no longer found him attractive." —Valerie, 22
"I was constantly sexually suggestive to my ex-boyfriend's roommate, and it would get me so hot and bothered, I'd immediately need my ex to do me in the closest possible proximity to the roommate." –Megan, 20
"I had sex nine times in one day." —Katelynn, 23
"I have an ongoing sexual relationship with a married couple on the side." —Nena, 29
"I once went on a date with a girl I met on Craigslist!" —Kate, 23
"It turns me on when a guy takes control. It turns me off when he tries to control my life outside the relationship." —Jillian, 25
"That 'move' that you have that makes me scream your name? Yeah. It sucks. I screamed out once because I wanted it to end, and now I'm stuck pretending I like it." —Stephanie, 27
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by
AC Rose
·
July 6, 2016
In this new era of the erotic romance book and the shameless ogling of shirtless men on the Internet and in media, it is no secret that women of all ages have vibrant sexual fantasies. Talk about women’s fantasies is nothing new, but the conversation went underground for a while. These days there is a renewed recognition that our intimate desires, longings, and sexual thoughts—even the really kinky ones— are quite normal.
“The range of normal here is far wider than anyone imagines,” says Licensed Clinical Psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD , professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles. “As long as those fantasies do not involve distress on the part of the person having the fantasy, and do not cause distress for others, then you are likely within the realm of normal.”
Basically, the sky is the limit, she says. While some women may be moved to fulfill their fantasies someday, others prefer to keep them just that—fantasies. Ah, but we can dream.
It’s no secret I love to write about fantasy men who can sex a woman into a renewed state of being. I relaunched my erotic romance writing career by penning some of my own hottest fantasies. They all include breathtaking heroes with masterful lovemaking skills. While I prefer being in charge of my real life, I am a big fan of the erotic fantasy of being “taken” and swept into the moment with that irresistible guy who is all about your pleasure—and who requires your surrender, only to him.
One of my most popular books is MY HOT COP . It is a steamy novelette that features a sexy, dominant, handsome, hot cop who is skilled at playing with handcuffs and has plenty of ways to make a woman sigh with pleasure. He’s a dirty talker and readers seem to like that! I mean, who can resist a hot cop? I just had a sexy new cover created by acclaimed book designer, Najla Qamber Designs, to show off the characters perfectly chiseled abs. This is exactly how I imagined him and luckily I found a model that looks like him.
It warms my heart to know I am not the only one that enjoys dwelling in the world of fantasy men. We all have our favorite book boyfriends, TV hunks, movie stars, and men we’d like to, um, you know . I asked some ladies—mostly married with kids, some single—to share their sexiest fantasies. What’s your secret fantasy ?
In the spirit of inspiring your fantasies, I’ve created a Facebook page called BEAUTIFUL MEN . Please join me there. And on my A.C. Rose Author page .
Check out A.C. Rose’s Books and Stories:
A.C. Rose is a sex and love journalist. She also writes very steamy romance books.
She is former editor of an iconic women's magazine and has written extensively on sexuality, relationships, female desire, hot men, and the “kissing book” industry.
As our HOT ROMANCE columnist, she regularly interviews today’s most popular authors and experts about books, women’s fantasies, handsome Alpha heroes, and penning passionate love stories.
She is a member of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), Passionate Ink (PI), and the Author’s Guild (AG).
Find A.C. Rose's latest books here: A.C. Rose books
Visit with A.C. Rose here:
A.C. Rose
Wow, 5 of these fantasies my husband and I have done! Having an audience during sex IS truly exciting!
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20 Dirty Little Secrets Women Go Out Of Their Way To Keep From Men
By The Frisky — Written on Apr 14, 2021
A friend of mine — a guy who used to occasionally step out on his woman and hook up with other girls — had the strangest theory about the female species.
"Women don't cheat," he told me, when I asked if he was ever worried she was doing the same thing to him. "It's just not in their nature."
I laughed. Of course, I wasn't surprised when he found out she'd been two-timing him for most of their relationship, after their inevitable breakup, but he was completely shocked.
But during my two-and-a-half years of interviewing countless women, I discovered that there are many, many more things that we ladies keep secret from men.
Most of the time, women keep secrets that are personal to them: how they see their body , what they do in their free time, or any guilty pleasures they may have.
It's okay for women to have dirty secrets stashed away where men can't find them because there are just some things you want to keep to yourself — and that's perfectly understandable. These secrets might be embarrassing or too personal, and only when you're ready should you share.
Either way, women will always keep secrets from their partner, but most of the time these secrets aren't anything to worry about; rather, they are harmless thoughts women have about themselves and don't think of sharing with others.
It might be something like wanting their partner to be kinkier in bed, or that they want to go out with their girlfriends and get a little crazy. Sometimes, a woman's closest friends know more than what their husbands or boyfriends see.
As soon as we're alone in the house — husband leaves for the office, kids go to school, roommate goes out of town — and we have quality free time knowing no one is going to walk in on us, we touch ourselves.
Sometimes we even just do it if you're still in the house if that quality free time is never going to come. Usually, it's while we're in the bathroom.
And in the shower. And sometimes we really just want to do it in the hot tub, but we try to not do that out of respect for everyone else in there.
From our toes, our chin, our lips, moles on the backs of our legs, and our nipples. And we really, really enjoy plucking a stubborn ingrown hair . Getting that sucker out is, for some gross reason, such sweet satisfaction.
Or the pillow you were sleeping on when you're not around. If you were to catch us doing this, we'd be mortified.
Photo: NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock
Maybe go to a swingers party , have a threesome, or be a dirty stripper for a night, but with no emotional consequences.
And very often, we will dress for them and subtly flirt just so they will. We don't want to actually sleep with them — we just want them to want us.
As long as they aren't rude or nasty, it can be kind of flattering. We also like it when you get a little jealous, to a degree. Not in an irrational or psycho way, just a bit to show you're protective and you care.
The longer, the louder and the stinkier, the more enjoyable.
This includes spilling all of your embarrassing secrets, sneaking cigarettes or other substances, and drinking way more than we let on. Grinding with strangers at a club can also sometimes occur.
But we'll never marry you. Brains and kindness will always trump hotness when it comes to marriage material .
Or sometimes we're just plain excited. And we hate being judged for it.
Hate it, hate it, hate it! But we like that when it's cleaned up, you go down on us more readily. In a perfect world, you would go down on us with regularity on naturally poofy pubes.
And it's usually a deal-breaker for women who are of child-bearing age.
Photo: Africa Studio / Shutterstock
As long as you're kind and emotionally generous and work hard. Laziness and lack of motivation are inherently un-sexy.
We'll certainly give it the old college try if we want you bad enough, though.
A little belly, gray hairs, even a receding hairline. It reminds us that we all have body issues and that we shouldn't be so insecure or hard on ourselves. Being human is cool, but being whiny about your paunch or constantly fussing over your gray temples is as annoying as us always asking, "Does this make me look fat?"
A gross and pervy situation, another man, being dominated... who knows. But most of us love to fantasize. It doesn't mean we're not sexually attracted to you, we just need the mental images to take it up a notch.
Photo: sergey causelove / Shutterstock
As long as we have the technology, they will never be fully out of our lives or minds. This doesn't mean we still love them; we're just curious.
...as long as we're the ones doing the drunk kissing. We consider sleeping with another man cheating .
We say we miss you but are often secretly glad you're gone so we can totally relax and be ourselves. But we still love it when you come back.
Emily Hingle is a writer, editor, and social media coordinator at LCIA.
This article was originally published at The Frisky . Reprinted with permission from the author.
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9 Most Common Sex Fantasy of a Woman Revealed
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.
The release of the top grossing movie Fifty Shades of Grey has allowed many women to be in tune with their sexuality. It allowed women to be more vocal about their fantasies and as well as their sexual needs.
It’s true! Women have fantasies too and you’d be surprised to know what they are. Being open to your sexual fantasies is not weird at all, rather it’s considered healthy and hot!
Let’s look at the most common fantasy of a married woman and even the darkest fantasies that women in general have.
You’ve heard this term many times but what exactly is a sexual fantasy?
By definition, sexual fantasies are a collection of mental images that arouses a person. Each person has different sexual fantasies and having them are perfectly normal. Most people are a bit hesitant when this topic is discussed because of the context of it but all of us have sexual fantasies.
This is a part of who we are and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Having sexual fantasies doesn’t mean that you’re not satisfied with your husband or partner, it doesn’t mean that you are sexually deprived, in fact, sex fantasies women have that are totally normal and it actually means that you have a healthy sexual appetite . Post the hype of the Fifty Shades movie series, the film has allowed many women to be comfortable with their sexuality even discussing the most common fantasy of a married woman that they secretly want to be fulfilled along with their admiration with sexy and hot men!
If you’re wondering whether your sexual fantasy is normal or a bit dark, then let’s check the most common female fantasy that women have.
Whether you’re looking for the most common fantasy of a married woman or just women’s topmost common fantasies, then you’re about to discover them.
This may look like a common sexual activity between coupl
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