Women Over 40 Naked
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Women Over 40 Naked
When Kate Moss hit the big 4-0 earlier this month, she stripped for Playboy. Here, five brave 40-somethings follow suit and explain why they love their bodies – lumps, bumps and all
Miranda Leslau, 43, runs her own PR company and lives in London. She is currently single. Miranda says:
It took many years for me to grow to love my unusual shape – I’m a size 12 on the bottom and a 16 on top because of my 38E breasts – but now I’m in my 40s, I really do. My boobs are my trademark – they set me apart from other women. I relish that part of my physical identity and it’s a confidence boost that I can still turn heads.
And there are so many great role models around today for women in my age group, like Salma Hayek.
She looks amazing at 47 and celebrates her curvy figure, like me.
Turning 40 isn’t the only milestone I’ve faced recently. I’m in the middle of early menopause and coming to terms with the fact I’ll never have children naturally. The timing was never right in any of the relationships I’ve had, and I didn’t want to have a baby alone. Now, I’m trying to be pragmatic – maybe one day I’ll adopt.
But if motherhood isn’t meant to be, then I accept that.
I’ve become more accepting of my body, too, and I take much better care of myself than I used to. In my 20s and 30s, my life was crazy and I was burning the candle at both ends.
I had a job at a big PR firm and was always entertaining clients and attending glamorous functions. Then, aged 30, I set up my own company and worked hard to be a success in my own right.
However, now I feel very healthy – I’ve taken up boxing and running, so I’m in the best shape of my life.
I’ve always loved writing and my first novel, NW3, is published this month as an ebook. As I get older, I feel inspired to push forward. You can’t stop the years passing but I’m determined not to waste them.”
Heidi Rehman, 41, is a development co-ordinator. She lives in Southampton with her husband Jim, a 44-year-old business development manager, and their children, Meg, 15, and Louis, 12. Heidi says:
“There was a time when I didn’t know if I’d live to see my 40th birthday. In 2008, when I was just 35, I found a lump in my right breast and was diagnosed with cancer.
Devastated, I was sure I was going to die and leave my children without a mum.
I felt my body had let me down. I’d eaten well, stayed active and only drank occasionally, but I smoked. No one knows if my cancer was linked to my smoking, but I quit at once. I was a young mother with my life ahead of me, and it felt so unfair I had this disease.
After a mastectomy and radiotherapy, I had to wait a year for reconstructive surgery to give my body time to heal. Before having my breast removed, my only priority had been getting rid of the cancer – I didn’t anticipate the effect it would have on my self-confidence.
I felt robbed of my femininity and sexuality. I’d never had any body hang-ups before, but now I wouldn’t let Jim see me naked, even though he insisted it didn’t matter.
I counted down the days to my reconstruction in summer 2009, and the joy I felt when I looked in the mirror afterwards was indescribable. It wasn’t about vanity; it was about being a whole person, and a woman, again.
Sadly, the cancer returned in late 2010, this time in the chest-wall muscle.
It was a huge shock. I had my reconstructed breast removed and reconstructed again nine months later, plus more radiotherapy. Now, doctors can’t say for certain what the future holds for me. I have check-ups with an oncologist every three months, and will be on hormone treatment for the next seven years.
Since my second diagnosis, I’ve raised around £18,000 for Breakthrough Breast Cancer. And, though my body may be scarred, I’m proud of it. It reminds me how far I’ve come, physically and emotionally.”
Mel Cohen, 46, is a hairstylist and aspiring plus-size model. She’s single, lives in Glasgow and has two sons, Joe, 20 and Dean, 17. Mel says:
“For years, I tried to conform to what society told me was ‘normal’ and ‘attractive’. I’ve been big since childhood – a combination of bad diet and genes – and even though my size never held me back, I kept striving to be thinner.
I was just 10 when I started trying to lose weight, which marked the beginning of 30 years of dieting. As an adult, I yo-yoed between 11st and 16st and was miserable. I had to practically starve myself, living on meal-replacement shakes or fad eating plans.
As I grew older, I realised my happiness was more important than obsessing over everything I put in my mouth. So, after I turned 40, I stopped dieting.
At 5ft 3in, I now weigh 17st and am a size 24.
It’s the biggest I’ve ever been, but also the happiest. I’m very active and have never felt more attractive. I’m single at the moment, but it would be nice to meet someone – I’ve attended club nights for plus-size women and men who like curvy ladies and it’s exciting to meet guys who love my shape.
In 2012, I saw a TV show about UK plus-size pageants and decided to apply for Miss Plus Size International 2013. To my surprise, I made it to the final in London in November, coming 4th out of 23 competitors.
My sons came to support me and were thrilled I did so well.
After my pageant success, I signed with Pose Plus Models agency and can’t wait for my first job. Women often contact me on Facebook to say I’ve inspired them to accept their body. In the past, plus sizes were mocked, but society is waking up to the fact that big is beautiful.”
Lucy Fassett, 45, is a PA. She’s single and lives in Kent with her daughters, Tallulah, 17, and Kizzy, 15. Lucy says:
“One great thing I’ve learned since turning 40 is that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think. It’s been incredibly liberating to have the confidence to make decisions I feel are right for me– like having breast augmentation surgery at 42.
I’ve always been happy with my healthy, size-10 figure. But breastfeeding left me with flat, saggy boobs, and there was nothing exercise or diet could do for them. They didn’t look as if they belonged on my body, and I disguised them with loose tops.
I’m quite pragmatic and I didn’t let it cripple my confidence. When I was in relationships, I didn’t hide my body – but privately I was never happy with my breasts.
Still, I never had the courage to do anything about it. I worried people would think I was a bad role model to my daughters, so I dismissed the idea of surgery for a long time – until I entered my 40s and realised it didn’t matter what other people thought.
In 2010, I sold some jewellery I had been given by a former partner and paid £4,000 for the surgery at a private clinic, going from a C cup to a DD.
My girls were understanding and supportive. I explained I wasn’t trying to change myself, just regain the body I used to have, and that surgery isn’t a magic solution to all our problems.
I knew there were risks attached and, as a mother, that was a big consideration. But I had a great surgeon and when I saw my breasts for the first time after the operation, I was so happy.
Now, I wish I’d had the operation years ago. I’ll happily wear fitted dresses and even go topless on holiday. I feel better about my body now than I have in years, which I didn’t expect in my 40s!”
Luciana Barrell, 40, is a retail manager. She lives in Reading with her husband, David, 60, a draftsman. Luciana says:
“I grew up in Brazil, where both men and women tend to be quite short. For women especially, being petite is considered attractive.
At 5ft 11in and a size 14, I stood out a mile.I was also born with part of one of my fingers missing, but I never let that bother me – my main hang-up was my height.
I’m mixed race, and being tall made my skin colour all the more noticeable, so I experienced some racist bullying growing up. As a teenager, you just want to blend in, but I could never do that and I didn’t understand why other people made such an issue of my height when it was just the way I was meant to be.
I slouched and didn’t say much, to avoid drawing attention to myself. Even though I did have a few relationships, some men were too
intimidated to ask me out and I felt self-conscious about the way I looked.
Being tall is often seen as unfeminine – women with big feet are mocked, and finding fashionable clothes can be a nightmare.
I moved to the UK aged 24 because I wanted to learn English. I worked in various retail jobs, but when I heard of the fashion chain Long Tall Sally, which caters for tall women, I applied there straight away.
I’ve now worked there for 10 years and joke that my role is part-retail, part-therapy, because I’ve met so many tall women who’ve struggled with self-confidence. We swap stories and advice, and seeing how feminine they are has made me embrace my own height.
I met my husband David through friends 12 years ago. Even though he’s just 5ft 6in, he loves my height, which has also helped me on my journey of acceptance. Learning to love my body has empowered me and now, for the first time, I can walk down the street with my head held high.”
As told to: Eimear O’Hagan Photography: Lancton, Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott for Playboy/PA Wire Hair & make-up: Sara Bowden using Dermalogica & Cat Crawford
For information, visit Missplussizeinternational.com, Poseplusmodels.co.uk,
Breakthrough.org.uk, Longtallsally.com
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