Women Need Sex

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Women Need Sex
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
The health benefits of sex go way beyond the pleasures of orgasm. You get a health boost in all sorts of ways from fooling around, from lowering blood pressure to stress reduction. Read on for all the excuses you need to schedule sex tonight.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
10 reasons to have sex tonight – Sex, especially orgasm, releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which promotes a feeling of well-being and happiness. And you don't have to act like bunnies to get the benefit; a study of 30,000 Americans over four decades found that sex at least once a week was enough to make people happy.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Sex seems to be especially good for a woman's heart -- the physical one, that is. A recent study found that women who said they had frequent, extremely satisfying sex had a lower risk of hypertension, a common precursor to heart disease.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Regular, frequent sex may lower the risk of prostate cancer, according to research presented to the American Urological Association. A study of 32,000 men over 18 years found that men who ejaculate at least monthly may be less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer later in life.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
You won't look like this without hitting the gym, of course, but sex is a form of exercise, burning about 150 calories an hour . Add it to the end of your workout as a reward with benefits.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Sex can lessen pain. Studies have found that even stimulation without orgasm can reduce menstrual cramps, chronic back and leg pain, even migraines . Something to think about the next time you consider saying "Not now, honey, I have a headache!"
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Sex may help your memory, too. Men over 50 who had more sex were better at word recall and number sequencing, while older women improved only in word recall, according to a study published by Oxford University. Both did better than those who had less sex.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Sex lowers stress and anxiety by releasing all sorts of good-for-you hormones, and that can help ward off depression, too. Studies show that men and women who have intercourse with their partners have greater satisfaction with their mental health. Unfortunately, the benefits didn't extend to masturbation.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
Good sex improves sleep, too. After orgasm, the hormones prolactin and serotonin are released, helping you feel relaxed and sleepy. Women ( and some studies ) argue that men receive the greater benefit.
Photos: 10 reasons to have sex tonight
In case you didn't know it, sex can also make a baby. And that can be good for you. Studies show that people with kids living at home tend to have more money and are more highly educated and in better health.
"About a quarter of women rate sex as very important, regardless of their age," said Dr. Holly Thomas, lead author of an abstract being presented during the 2020 virtual annual meeting of The North American Menopause Society, which opens on Monday, September 28.
"The study showed substantial numbers of women still highly value sex, even as they get older, and it's not abnormal," said Thomas, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Pittsburgh.
"If women are able to speak up with their partner and make sure that they're having sex that's fulfilling and pleasurable to them, then they're more likely to rate it as highly important as they get older," she said.
"That's actually quite refreshing, that there were a quarter of women for whom sex remains not just on the radar but highly important," said Dr. Stephanie Faubion, medical director for NAMS, who was not involved in the study.
"Studies like these provide valuable insights to health care providers who may otherwise dismiss a woman's waning sexual desire as a natural part of aging," she said.
It's true that past studies have found that women tend to lose interest in sex as they age. But women's health practitioners say that attitude doesn't jibe with the reality they see.
"Some of the prior studies had suggested that sex goes downhill and all women lose interest in sex as they get older," Thomas said. "That really isn't the type of story that I hear from all my patients."
One issue, she said, is that past studies took a single snapshot of a woman's desire at one point in her life and compared that to similar snapshots in later decades of life.
"That type of longitudinal study would just show averages over time," Thomas said. "And if you look at things on average, it may look like everyone follows one path."
Thomas said the new study used a different type of analysis that allowed researchers to follow the trajectory of a woman's desire over time.
"We wanted to use this different type of technique to see if there really were these different patterns," Thomas said. "And when you look for these trajectories, you see there are significant groups of women who follow another path."
High and low pathways of sexual interest
The research, which analyzed data from a national multi-site study called SWAN, or the Study of Women's Health Across the Nation , found three distinct pathways in a woman's feelings about the importance of sex.
About a fourth of the women (28%) followed traditional thinking on the subject: They valued sex less during midlife years.
However, another fourth of the women in the study said the exact opposite. Some 27% of them said sex remains highly important throughout their 40s, 50s and 60s -- a surprising contradiction of the old-age belief that all women lose interest in sex as they age.
"Sex is going to look different," said Faubion, who is the director of the Mayo Clinic Center for Women's Health.
"It's not going to look the same at 40 as it does at 20; it's not going to look the same at 60 as it does at 40 and it's not going to look the same as at 80, as it did at 60," she said. "There may be some modifications that we have to do, but people in general who are healthy and in good relationships remain sexual."
Women in the study who highly valued sex shared the following characteristics: They were more highly educated, they were less depressed, and they had experienced better sexual satisfaction before entering midlife.
"Women who were having more satisfying sex when they were in their 40s were more likely to continue to highly value sex as they got older," Thomas said.
There could also be socioeconomic factors at play, she added. For example, more highly educated women may have higher incomes and feel more stable in their lives with less stress.
"Therefore they have more headspace to make sex a priority because they're not worrying about other things," Thomas said.
The study found another factor that was important to both lower-interest and high-interest pathways -- race and ethnicity.
African American women were more likely to say sex was important to them for the duration of midlife, while Chinese and Japanese women were more likely to rate sex as having low importance throughout their midlife years.
"I do want to emphasize that it's much more likely to be due to socio-cultural factors than any biological factor," Thomas said. "Women from different cultural groups have different attitudes ... different comfort levels about getting older ... and whether it's 'normal' for a woman to continue to value sex as she gets older."
The majority of women (48%) fell into a third pathway: They valued a healthy sex life as they entered the menopausal years but gradually lost interest throughout their 50s or 60s.
There are a number of emotional, physical and psychological factors that might affect how a woman views sex, experts say. Most can be divided into four categories:
Medical conditions: As women enter perimenopause in their 40s and 50s, they begin to experience hormonal changes that can cause sex to become less satisfying or even painful.
The drop in estrogen causes the vulva and vaginal tissues to become thinner, drier and more easily broken, bruised or irritated . Arousal can become more difficult. Hot flashes and other signs of menopause can impact mood and sleep quality, leading to fatigue, anxiety, irritability, brain fog and depression.
Many medical conditions can arise or worsen during midlife that can also affect libido.
"Do they have medical conditions like hip arthritis that cause pain with sex? Or hand arthritis that can make it more difficult? Or things like diabetes where their sensation is not the same or do they have heart disease?" Faubion asked.
"But there are modifications that we talk about all the time to help people remain sexual, even for quadriplegics," she said. "There are ways to stay sexual despite disability."
Mental and emotional considerations: The psychological component of sex can have a huge influence on a woman's levels of sexual desire. A history of sexual or physical abuse, struggles with substance abuse and depression, anxiety and stress are major players in this category.
"I can't tell you enough about the impact of anxiety and stress on sex," Faubion said. "Think of that fight or flight mechanism -- your adrenaline's pumping so you're back in caveman days and a lion is chasing you.
"Are you going to lie down on the grassy knoll and have sex when the lion is chasing you? The answer is no. And that's how women with anxiety are all the time, so anxiety is a huge, huge factor for whether women will be sexual."
While the study did not look specifically at anxiety, results showed women with more symptoms of depression were much less likely to rate sex as a priority in life. In addition to the emotional impact, a reduced libido is a side effect of many antidepressants prescribed to treat depression.
Partner component: Women in midlife can also face dramatic and disturbing changes in their romantic lives that can take a major toll on their interest in sex.
"Are they losing a romantic partner to divorce or to death? Is a romantic partner developing health issues that makes sex more difficult or inconvenient? Are they getting busy in other aspects of their life -- their career, caring for grandchildren, or even grown children who are moving back in? That makes it hard to prioritize sex," Thomas said.
Even if they have a partner, relationships may have had ups and downs that can affect how a women feels about intimacy with their significant other.
"Do you like your partner?" Faubion asked. "Is your communication good? Even logistics can get in the way -- are you in the same place at the same time?"
Social mores: Society also affects how a woman feels about sex. Religious, cultural and family values about the topic can play a large role in sexual ease and satisfaction.
"Then there's what society teaches us about aging women," Faubion said. "And so for some women being sexual is somehow bad. Women aren't supposed to like sex."
"I've see plenty of women in my clinic in the 60 to 65 age group who never got any sex education, their partners never got any sex education, and they don't really want to know about all that stuff."
Of course, if a woman isn't bothered by a lack of sex, then there's no reason to see a doctor, Faubion and Thomas stressed. But they both said that past studies have shown that about 10% to 15% of women who do have a lower interest in sex are bothered by it and would like to seek a solution.
There are many ways in which physicians can help, including medications and therapies, but first a woman must reach out and talk to her doctor.
"Prior research has shown that women often really do hesitate to reach out to their doctors, perhaps because they're embarrassed or they see it as part of normal aging and and don't think it's worth bringing up," Thomas said.
"Bottom line: Women should talk to their providers if they're having concerns about their sexual health," Faubion said. "It's an important part of life, and there are solutions for women who are struggling with that."
© 2022 Cable News Network. A Warner Bros. Discovery Company. All Rights Reserved. CNN Sans ™ & © 2016 Cable News Network.
Updated 0550 GMT (1350 HKT) September 28, 2020
(CNN) It's a myth that women lose interest in sex as they enter midlife and beyond, according to new research that followed over 3,200 women for approximately 15 years.

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Having trouble getting in the mood or achieving orgasm? The solution might be as simple as knowing what you like in the bedroom. Here are 6 tips that can help women enjoy sexual intimacy.
The benefits of sex extend beyond the bedroom. Studies have found that a roll in the hay can improve heart health and even boost your immunity . Plus, regular romps with your partner create an intimate connection that’s crucial for a healthy relationship .
But if you’re not always in the mood to have sex , you’re not alone. Many women have fluctuating sex drives, which may arise from larger issues, says Ian Kerner, PhD, a psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York City. "In some ways, sexual desire is a barometer of your overall health," he explains. "If someone comes in with a low libido , it can often be an indication that something else is going on emotionally or physically.”
So how can you break through these bedroom barriers and create more heat between the sheets? Read on to find out what women really need to feel happy and healthy in their sex lives.
The first thing you need to enjoy yourself in bed is to know what you like, says Dr. Kerner. “Knowing what feels good, what turns you on, what turns you off, the stimulation you need to move through the process of arousal, the positions you like , and a partner who can dance with you in that way and knows the dance, is helpful,” he explains.
It’s also important to be able to communicate these desires to your partner, he adds. “If you feel uncomfortable sharing, frame what you want in the form of a fantasy ," suggests Kerner. For example, you could tell your partner you had a daydream about how the two of you used to make out like teenagers. "Try to use arousing, stimulating language,” he says. “Doing so will help lead you to the kind of sex you'd like to have." Masturbation may also help women learn what they like in bed and feel more sexually empowered.
With our high-stress lifestyles, it’s normal to get distracted, even when we’d prefer to focus on romance. But especially for women, it’s important to focus on staying in the moment . "You want to be in a relaxed place where your brain really deactivates, so you can experience full arousal and orgasm ," explains Kerner.
Science supports the idea that tuning out the noise can help women improve their sex lives. A study published in September 2017 in the Journal of Sexual Research found that women reported significant improvements in sexual desire, overall sexual function, and a reduction in sex-related distress after an eight-session mindfulness program. Another study, published in 2018 in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy , found that women who meditated scored higher on measures of sexual function and desire.
If you still find yourself thinking more about your to-do list and less about what’s happening in the bedroom, fantasizing may help you focus. “I think fantasy is a really powerful way of shutting off your anxious brain,” says Kerner. “In talking to female patients over the years, many do fantasize during sex naturally or consciously exactly for that reason, to get into a deeper state of arousal.”
If a woman doesn't feel good about her body, it may be more challenging for her to enjoy sex. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that body image , including weight concern , physical condition, sexual attractiveness, and thoughts about the body during sexual activity, predict sexual satisfaction in women. The findings suggest that women who experience low sexual satisfaction may benefit from treatments that target these specific aspects of body image.
Another study, published in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality , found that exercise frequency and physical fitness enhance attractiveness and increase energy levels, both of which make people feel better about themselves. As a bonus, those who feel better about themselves may perceive they are more sexually desirable and may perform better sexually. “For both men and women, negative body image can get in the way and be an inhibiting factor,” says Kerner. “Positive body image can increase confidence — I’ve had patients who lost a pound or two or started exercising and found that their sexual self-esteem rose.”
In any case, it’s important to realize that your partner is not focusing on a few extra pounds or your stretch marks or C-section scar when you’re in bed together. “You don’t have to have a perfect body to be able to enjoy your sexuality,” says Kerner. And your partner likely thinks you look perfect just the way you are. “A lot of men’s personal tastes don’t conform to what the media says is the perfect body," he adds. "And certainly during sex and deep states of arousal, men are generally more focused on the details and experience of sex than on somebody’s body.”
It's hard to have a carefree romp if you feel disconnected from your significant other or worried about your partner's fidelity. If you think your partner may be having an affair, it’s important to address it. To start the conversation in a nonconfrontational way, Kerner suggests saying something like, "I feel like we haven't been connecting lately, and you're always on your phone or texting. It just makes me feel a little unsafe in the relationship.” Then explain that you want your relationship and sex life to be a priority because you value them.
No one likes the uncomfortable question, "When was the last time you were tested for STDs ?" or a discussion about previous partners or birth control , but don’t be afraid to ask questions about your partner’s sexual history. You can even put a positive spin on the discussion, suggests Kerner, by saying something like, "I find you really sexy, and I'm interested in a relationship with you. But for me to fully enjoy myself, I want to talk about our sexual histories and get on the same page about safety." If your partner isn’t open to the discussion, he or she may not be the right person for you.
While it's widely known that women of a certain age tend to experience vaginal dryness , even younger women can struggle with it. To make things more comfortable, try using a lubricant ; but be choosy about the kind you purchase, because there are key differences among them. Kerner, who recommends the natural, water-based lubricant Sliquid , also stresses the importance of foreplay so you can lubricate naturally. "You could be aroused physically but not mentally, or vice versa, so you may just need to give yourself more time to warm up," he explains.
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