Women Making The First Move
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Women Making The First Move
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A woman should indeed be the size that makes her feel most comfortable, but what women think a guy wants and desires is quite diverse.
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10 Behaviors Women Show When They’re With Their True Love
By Power of Positivity Published on April 21, 2020 Last modified October 30, 2020
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Traditionally, men have always made the first move. They approach women, plan and pay for dates, and do a lot of the heavy lifting in the early stages of a budding relationship. It can be stressful, mentally taxing, and financially difficult for them, especially in this decade!
It’s not really fair to expect men always to make the first move. Shouldn’t women show their attraction, too? If there’s someone you like, you can take the first steps to make them a part of your life, no matter what your gender is!
A woman may make the first move by entering someone’s bubble. This proximity is a good indicator of a woman’s interest, as they will intentionally move or stand unusually tightly next to a person they are interested in.
Some women have, unfortunately, been taught to move backward and away from people they’re interested in, to entice a sort of “chase.” This tactic doesn’t work, and women actively trying to make the first move won’t (and shouldn’t!) consider that a good option.
Some women make the first move by prompting men to take the first physical steps. What does this mean? Essentially, they perform common nonverbal cues that are signs of openness that say “Approach me!”.
Men typically have a positive reaction to these cues, as they are long-understood signals of interest. For example:
A simple, no-pressure conversation is a common way women make the first move. As a small talk type of exchange, there’s no tension, and either party can leave if desired. They may talk about:
Sometimes, a woman’s chosen method for making the first move is to provide a warm greeting, a subtle signal to their person of interest to start the real conversation. They may say hello or use any other greeting, taking care to use a welcoming tone that indicates they are open to the company.
A woman may buy drinks for someone at the bar that they’re interested in. This usually prompts the object of their interest to at least thank them, which opens the door for more conversation.
Besides, buying drinks for someone is one of the oldest ways to make the first move in the book! As such, though it’s relatively subtle, it’s difficult for anyone to misinterpret, which is a positive bonus.
Inviting someone to hang out in a bigger group is a subtle manner of making the first move, as it doesn’t force a romantic connotation over the event. If the group date goes well, it serves as a jumping-off point for a follow-up, one-on-one date.
In general, date invites can also be a woman’s way of making an obvious first move in a safe way, especially if they don’t know the other person yet. They’ll be in the company of others, and it’s a great way to gauge compatibility.
Red is an inflammatory color of sorts. It presents an automatic appearance of femininity and attractiveness that easily hooks a lot of guys, putting them in a state of positive thinking for the approach. This red doesn’t have to be a dressed-from-head-to-toe color. It can be used in many, many ways, such as:
Of course, do note that color is not consent, and women wear red for preference reasons – but combining red with cues of interest is definitely a way of making the first move!
A woman may drop hints if they’re interested in someone. The more obvious the hint, the more likely it is that they’re seriously trying to make the first move without losing subtlety. They might talk a lot about wanting to see a movie or go to an event, hoping to be asked out. The problem, of course, is that not everyone notices those hints!
A woman who reached out to someone they’re interested in first is making the first move, in a way. They’re taking the first steps to form a longer connection, in a way that makes them very easy to reach. They might go directly for flirtation, crack a few jokes, or just make small talk as they build up momentum.
A woman who knows what the person they’re interested in likes may attempt to score bonus tickets to something that person would definitely want to take part in. Then, when the opportunity arises, they’d offer the spare ticket – and it becomes a date! Sneaky!
When someone asks another person questions, it’s because they’re trying to get to know them. As such, a woman may subtly make the first move by asking someone questions about themselves. These can involve:
These questions usually become progressively more personal as the asker sees how far they can get, as this is usually a good indicator of the other party’s interest.
A lot of women like to engage in banter with the people they are attracted to. It’s a good test of whether the other person’s wit matches theirs if the senses of humor are compatible, and if there’s interest in general.
Playful, flirtatious teasing rarely goes overboard into hurtful insult territory, so it’s not difficult for most people on the receiving end to notice it as the first move of sorts!
Putting skin on display tends to catch the eye, and it certainly works to make others approach you! Research has even found a jumping-off point that indicates women who are undergoing ovulation tend to naturally decide to dress less conservatively, without even thinking about it.
Do note – importantly! – that revealing clothing is not consent, and plenty of women dress like this out of preference. However, a combination of certain kinds of clothing and signals of interest is a reason to believe a woman may be making the first move.
Gentle, soft touches of a seemingly innocent kind are another way that women make the first move, especially with men. This is because they know that men are often more physical in their preferences and responses, and may have a more positive response to touch. These touches may include:
After a first meeting, a woman may make the first move by saying they want to keep in touch. They may use phrases like:
These methods are very subtle, but they’re how a woman gets or gives contact information that will lead to something more. Sometimes, it’s platonic – but a lot of the time, there’s room to explore a deeper relationship!
Few people will respond negatively to a well-placed compliment. A woman will find something to compliment in the person they’re interested in, ranging from appearance-based to deeper in meaning, depending on how much they already know the person they’re attracted to . They may compliment:
Generally, there’s no reason for anyone to ask about someone’s relationship status unless you’re at least someone interested – but it’s subtle because it doesn’t spell out a woman’s intentions. When she asks this question, the person who has caught her interest is likely to know quickly why she’s asking, even if she’s not crystal clear about it.
The jury’s out on whether this can be considered “subtle,” but a woman may pull someone they like out to the dance floor to have a good time together.
It makes the first move in a non-committal way, as dancing together doesn’t mean you’re definitely going to date, but it also tests compatibility and potential intimacy in a slightly non-platonic way!
For women who often come into contact with someone they like, they may go out of their way to spend more time with them. For example, they might:
A woman’s friends are her closest confidants. They may all work together to nudge someone’s interest in the woman in question. When a whole group of friends is trying to set two people up, it makes the first move in a subtle and roundabout – but definitely effective – way.
Not everyone is good at picking up subtlety, and if you really like someone, sometimes the only way to make the first move is to be very clear and honest about it.
If you’re feeling confident enough for it, this is the one guaranteed way to get your message across with open and positive communication. It’s the 21st century – there’s no reason a woman can’t be direct about their desires, and plenty of women today make the first move boldly! So take a deep breath, get your positive thinking going, and ask someone out!
In this day and age, women are making the first move all the time , and there’s no reason you can’t do the same. If you don’t want to come on too strong, using these subtle ways to take that step can be a big help – but ultimately, don’t shy away from being direct and honest about your intentions!
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The first move. It’s a burden that, whether anyone likes it or not, traditionally falls on the shoulders of the guy. But what about when the tables are turned? Are dudes turned on or intimidated by it?
The question reminds me of a work party I attended some years ago. It took place at a nightclub, and as is characteristic of both work parties and night clubs, drinks were being drunk and eyes were wandering a bit more than they might normally. I knew there was sexual tension with one of my coworkers but also knew it was taboo and couldn’t decide whether to make a move. While I was sipping a red bull vodka (apologies—it was five years ago; I’m a different man now) and twiddling my thumbs, she walked right up to me and pointed to another of our coworkers, John.
“John wants to hook up with me, and I would," she said. "But honestly, I’d rather hook up with you.” It was ballsy; it was funny; it was flattering. But most of all, seeing a girl make the first move like that was extremely attractive. Which was very unfortunate for John.
But I’m just one man. Here’s how nine other guys’ experiences matched up to my own:
"I had a friend who I had a thought of sexual tension with, but we were such good friends that I had never made a move. One day, I walked her to her car, and she gave me a quick peck. I never would have done it, so I was glad she did. We ended up dating shortly after, but it ended quickly. I guess we just had an itch that needed to be scratched." — Fred C.
"For our third date, my now-girlfriend and I went to a park to have a picnic, drink wine, and take in San Francisco. We hadn’t kissed yet, and I didn’t make a move during the date. I was kicking myself when, as we were walking back to her apartment, she realized that I was incapacitated and defenseless because I was carrying everything she had on her at the time—bag, gym bag, blanket, wine. While I was standing there, holding all of our stuff, my arms completely full, she leaned in and gave me a very memorable first kiss." — David A.
"I was at a bar and couldn’t help but notice this girl who was staring at me. At one point, she said something to the friend she was with, giggled, and literally reached out toward me and pinched the air. As soon as I walked over, she said, 'Your face—it’s just so wholesome.' I told her she was entertaining and asked her name before returning to my friends. As she left, she walked up to me to say they were on their way out. I asked her for her number, and she said 'Sure, what's my name?' I’m bad at names, but luckily, she made an impression, and I blurted out, 'Chloe!' 'Great, here you go,' she said. 'Lets go for a hike sometime.' And she was off. The date was insane." — Garth F.
"I was taking a comedy class and sort of hopeful that I’d meet a girl who had a similar sense of humor to me. When I got to the first class, I immediately noticed that there was one girl in particular who just fit the bill to a 'T' in terms of the type of girl I'm into. Specifically, I liked her sense of humor and her tattoos. After a few classes, when I had convinced myself that I was finally going to ask her for her number, another guy came up and got it first. I was so pissed. But she and I were walking the same way to our cars, and we started talking about our respective tattoos. As we parted ways, she said, 'All right, well anyway, I think I should get your number. To talk more about tattoos and whatnot...' I was so taken aback. Never in my life had a girl asked me for my number, let alone the exact girl I had had my eye on for some time. It was exhilarating and just made me all that more attracted to her." — Harrison D.
"I re-connected with a girl from college for coffee and was thinking that I definitely was attracted to her but was on the fence as to whether to ask her out or not. However, as we were reaching a breaking point, she just asked if I wanted to go out some time, and I couldn't help but say yes. It was nice being openly desired. It was very refreshing and also screams confidence in my mind, which is definitely one of the biggest factors in my wanting to date someone." — Christopher W.
"I met up for dinner with a girl from college, and it was kind of vague if the dinner was a friendly thing or if it was more of a date. When we got there, she immediately started talking about other dates she's been on, so I immediately figured it was a friend thing. The next time we hung out was at a dinner at her place. I hung around until I was the last person there, and it was still kind of vague where I stood with her. But I was getting tired, so I left to walk to the subway. On the way, she texted me: 'You didn't necessarily need to leave.' I practically ran back to her apartment." — Mark C.
"I was at a party during senior year of college, and this cute underclassman that I knew was there. We had flirted a little in the past, but nothing too serious...and I wasn't expecting anything to come from the situation. I didn't see her very much during most of the party, but at some point in the night, she pushed me into the empty kitchen and made out with me before disappearing. I found her about 15 minutes later with her head in the toilet; I guess she had needed a little extra liquid courage to make her move. I took care of her the rest of the night, we went out to brunch the next morning, and five years later, we're still dating. It wasn't necessarily the most romantic first kiss, but I thought it was bold of her to make the first move—and I was definitely intrigued to find out what this chick was all about." — Zach D.
"At a bar I was working at last year, a woman sidled up toward closing time and asked me whether I had ever had sex in the bar. I said no. She said 'Do you want to?' I did. It was fantastic." — Cal T.
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