Women Long Sex

Women Long Sex
By Julie Vadnal Published: Aug 13, 2019
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Most women aren't looking for longer penetration.
How to last longer in bed. It’s one of the most searched questions about sex, Googled around 60,500 times per month (mostly by dudes, we’re guessing). And in the past year alone, a story on our very own website called “ 11 Ways to Last Longer in Bed ” has had nearly 700,000 visitors. But we have a secret to tell you: You don’t actually need to stress about lasting through marathon sex sessions. In fact, no one expects your sex session to last as long as Avengers: Endgame —not even the woman you’re sleeping with.
Still, the signs that men are supposed to last well into the a.m. are everywhere. Some of them come from pop culture—thanks, Beyoncé, for lyrics like “We be all night” in “Drunk in Love”—and the rest are unsurprisingly from porn. (Gasp, right?) “In porn, people can last forever, so then men’s understanding is that as long as you last forever too, that’s good,” says Harry Fisch, M.D., a clinical professor of urology and reproductive medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. “But then they don’t consider what is average, what’s normal.” Dr. Fisch also blames bad sex ed for the rumor that longer sex = better sex.
Scientists have researched sexual stamina, and found a big gap between how long sex actually lasts and how long people would like it to last. A 2005 study of 500 couples from around the world found that the average intercourse session lasted just 5.4 minutes—with or without a condom. Yet according to a 2008 study, most sex therapists agreed that “desirable” sex lasts anywhere between seven and 13 minutes. (That two- to sevenish-minute gap? That’s the sound of men everywhere scratching their head.)
If 13 minutes sounds like an eternity, don’t worry. You don’t need to have the endurance of a long-distance runner. An obsession with lasting foreeeever during sex could even make you imagine you’ve got penis problems .
“Many young men think they have premature ejaculation when they’re well within normal limits,” says sex therapist Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of Becoming Cliterate . So while five minutes may seem like a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, it’s still two minutes past being considered premature ejaculation, which is generally an emission that happens in three minutes or less. And in those cases, there are some practical solutions for drawing out the process .
Most important, a super-lengthy sex session isn’t what most women say they want. “I feel like guys get a lot of anxiety about lasting a long time for their partner,” says Maddie, 21, a student in New York City. “But really, it’s not about quantity; it’s about quality. And sometimes too long just plain hurts.”
That’s because most women—like, almost all of us—don’t get off from vaginal intercourse alone. “A lot of men are under the false impression that thrusting hard and lasting long is the key to a woman’s orgasm,” Mintz says. “But it’s the number-one lie about getting laid.”
Sex research backs this up: A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in 2017 found that only 18 percent of women said intercourse alone can make them climax. The rest said clitoral stimulation was either necessary or that it made their orgasms feel even better. Plus, too much in-and-out action can make a woman dry and cause her pain, says Mintz.
Women often take longer than men to orgasm—around 20 minutes to a man’s five—but chances are she doesn’t want you pumping away for that long. Most women say they’d rather spend that extra time warming up with foreplay, which Mintz says is a much bigger predictor of female orgasm than a few minutes of thrusting.
Not every woman is cool with superquick intercourse, like Amanda, 28, who says she’s a 10- to 20-minute woman. In that case, using a benzocaine wipe such as Roman Swipes ( $22/month ) can numb your shaft to make you last longer, says Dr. Fisch.
But Amanda adds that no matter how long penetration lasts, foreplay is the most essential part. “The moments leading up to sex are the most exciting to me,” she says. “The actual penetration, it’s just icing on the cake.”
Instead of dragging things out with endless thrusting, treat foreplay as her main event, Mintz suggests. Slowly count to ten as you sweep your fingertips or tongue along her hot zones. (Think the thin skin on her wrists, her neck, and her breasts.) Or run a vibrator around her labia and inner thighs. Focusing on foreplay doesn’t just soothe any “Am I lasting long enough?” anxiety; it also makes the eventual penetrative sex that much more sensual for you both. She’ll feel relaxed and lubricated, and you’ll be more than ready to go. Plus, 77 percent of women in that 2017 Sex & Marital Therapy study said that spending time building arousal enhanced their orgasms.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to rely on intercourse at all for her to climax—sometimes the best sex happens before you even get to home base.
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Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.
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Medically Reviewed by Carol DerSarkissian, MD on March 06, 2022
The age-old question of whether or not size matters is typically directed at men. But although they might not talk about it, some women may worry about the size of their vagina and how it affects sexual pleasure, particularly after having a baby .
Not a lot of research has been done in this area. Because so many things affect women’s sexuality, it's hard for researchers to know if vagina size and sexual pleasure are linked.
“Our ability to understand size as it relates to sexual function is poorly understood,” says Christopher Tarnay, MD, director of the division of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at the UCLA Medical Center.
The vagina is a very “elastic” organ, says Christine O’Connor, MD, director of adolescent gynecology and well women care at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore.
It's small enough to hold a tampon in place, but can expand enough to pass a baby through. This is because the walls of the vagina are similar to those of the stomach in that they have rugae, meaning they fold together to collapse when unused, then expand when necessary.
“It doesn’t stay one particular size,” O’Connor says. “It changes to accommodate whatever is going on at that time.”
The most commonly used measurements regarding the size of vaginas come from Masters and Johnson’s work from the 1960s. They looked at 100 women who had never been pregnant and found that vagina lengths, unstimulated, range from 2.75 inches to about 3¼ inches. When a woman is aroused, it increased to 4.25 inches to 4.75 inches. Regardless of how long the vagina is, the area that is thought to be important for most women’s sexual response is the outer one-third.
So how does length relate to sexual satisfaction? No one seems to know for sure.
Tarnay says the main issues women report is discomfort during sex. This typically happens if the vagina is too short or tight or if they have a prolapse. In prolapse, the uterus, bladder , or other organs fall out of place, typically after childbirth .
But in general, vaginal length "probably doesn’t matter,” Tarnay says. “There is such a wide range of normal. One can be completely assured that in the absence of prolapse, length has no impact on sexual satisfaction.”
What may make a difference, Tarnay says, is what he calls the genital hiatus -- the vaginal opening. If there's a problem, it typically happens after childbirth.
The vaginal opening likely changes only slightly after birth, Tarnay says. In 1996, doctors began using a measurement called the pelvic organ prolapse quantification system as a way of helping them see how well they were doing repairing that area after childbirth.
This was the first time there was a true before-and-after measurement, Tarnay says. Doctors have used the system to look at populations of women and found that there is a slight increase in the size of the opening after vaginal deliveries. The issue may be more related to muscular weakness or injury in that area, Tarnay says.
“Women who are able to contract the pelvic floor muscles can increase or decrease the size of the hiatus,” he says. “Increasing pelvic floor muscle tone can reduce looseness.”
Kegel exercises can be very effective at strengthening these muscles, Tamay says may generally improve sex .
A study published in the Australian & New Zealand Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in 2008 found that women who regularly did Kegel exercises reported greater sexual satisfaction than women who didn’t do Kegels.
To find the muscles you use to do Kegels, you can either insert a finger into the vagina and squeeze the surrounding muscles or stop the flow when urinating. After you’ve found the muscles, practice contracting them for five to 10 seconds, and then relax. If you can’t hold for that long, work your way up. Repeat the process 10 to 20 times, three times a day. While doing these exercises, breathe normally and try not to use the muscles in your legs, stomach, or bottom.
Some women sustain nerve injury during birth and can’t feel these muscles. Tarnay says there arephysical therapists who specialize in helping women learn how to do Kegels.
Worrying about vagina size and whether or not it changes over time is the wrong concern, O’Connor says. She notes that other things -- like lubrication, arousal, and having and a good relationship with your partner -- have a much greater impact on sexual enjoyment for women.
A 2010 study published in the International Urogynecology Journal bears out her opinion. Researchers used medical records, an exam, and questionnaire of 500 gynecological patients aged 40 and older to see if there was a correlation between vaginal length and opening size and sexual satisfaction.
The researchers found that desire, arousal, orgasm, pain, and sexual satisfaction weren't linked to vagina size.
“It is not an exact physical fit you are looking for in terms of sexual function,” O’Connor says. “It is more about the communication between the two partners and making sure both are getting what they need out of the experience and are comfortable.”
Christopher Tarnay, MD, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology; director, division of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery, UCLA Medical Center.
Christine O’Connor, MD, director of adolescent gynecology and well women care, Mercy Medical Center, Baltimore.
Schimpf, M. “Does vaginal size impact sexual activity and function?” International Urogynecology Journal , April 2010.
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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It’s being billed as “every man’s dream.”
A four-day orgy extravaganza that promises kinky customers “unlimited sex without a condom” is set to get underway near Las Vegas on Thursday.
Sex Island is slated to take place at an undisclosed location outside of Sin City from May 5 to 8, with tickets costing pleasure seekers a whopping $4,500.
The X-rated escapade is organized by the Good Girls Company , which is selling off just 50 tickets. The company has hired 100 prostitutes for the event so that each guest has access to “two girls per day.”
“All of our girls are tested and free of any sexual diseases,” the Sex Island site proclaims. “At any moment you can switch girls with the other 50 guests.”
There is also “on-site HIV and STI testing” so guests can feel reassured of their sexual safety before getting down and dirty.
Organizers say the four-day vacation is “drug friendly” and also offers access to horseback riding, a holographic concert and casino tours.
Meanwhile, the 50 frisky ticket holders will also be able to partake in a “sensual” helicopter ride.
But some skeptics say the event sounds too good to be true.
The website Scam Detector features complaints from several people who purportedly paid up for a prior Sex Island event only for “organizers to cancel the day before the start.”
However, the site additionally hosted an interview with the Good Girls Company’s head of customer service, who insists that the vacation is legitimate.
The Post has reached out to the Good Girls Company for comment on the authenticity of this year’s event to make sure customers don’t get screwed in a way they weren’t expecting.
Meanwhile, a raunchy promo video shows bikini-clad women cavorting with a lucky man in a hot tub, a helicopter and on horseback. However, the company states that the good-looking ladies in the frisky footage “are not escorts and will not participate in Sex Island events.”
Sex Island was initially envisioned as an annual event. It first started back in 2017 and quickly hit headlines after organizers outraged Colombian officials when they tried to hold the horny holiday in that country.
The location of the four-day orgy was eventually changed to a “drug-friendly” Caribbean island. It was held again in 2018 before it was purportedly postponed for several years.
One New Yorker who bought a ticket to the 2017 event spoke out the following year, spilling sordid details about the vacay.
“There were 30 of us [ticket holders] altogether, all men except for one couple,” the 33-year-old dentist — named Ryan — stated. “Most were professional guys, doctors, lawyers, aged between 25 and 50. Half of them were married.”
“There were some nerds from Silicon Valley who had never done this kind of thing before and were nervous at the beginning,” Ryan continued. “There were also two big pop stars from Canada. I immediately recognized one of them, he’s very famous and it quite took me back.”
The depraved dentist — who is married but didn’t tell his wife about the four-day orgy — said the debauchery began shortly after the vacation kicked off, as “each man had to choose the two girls who would keep them company during the entire trip.”
“Just 15 minutes into the trip I was already on a bed with them,” Ryan enthused. “Some of them [the guests] didn’t sleep for the whole four days, they just stayed awake night and day to make the most of their two girls. If you got tired of the same girl, you could do a deal with another guest and do a swap.”
Ryan revealed that “drugs were available all the time,” saying there were “pills, poppers and cocaine.”
“There were some others I’d never heard of before, like one they called ’toothy,’ it’s pink and you sniff it, it really gets you excited and makes you want to have sex,” he proclaimed.
The New Yorker said his most memorable moment was an activity called “All In” — a one-off experience where each guest could sleep with 15 of the women all at once.
“It was the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he cooed. “I never wanted that hour to end.”
Meanwhile, Good Girls Company’s head of PR — known only as Tony — spoke with The Post back in 2018, saying Sex Island is the brainchild of five hard-partying friends in their 30s and 40s.
He claimed the company bends over backward for the high-paying customers in order to cater to their kinks.
And while there are drugs galore during the four-day erotic holiday, Tony insisted his organizers do not directly provide any illegal substances.
However, the pervy PR guru did wax lyrical about the “toothy” pink powder Ryan mentioned.
“It’s a lot like cocaine but it makes you super horny,” he exclaimed. “The guys like sniffing it off girls’ butts!”

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