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23 Blowjob Thoughts All Women Have

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Yes — when oral sex works, it really works. For you and your girl, going down on one another separately or at the same time is one of the best ways to warm both of you up before sex. But while it can be really sexy, sometimes…a lady just can’t, um, get her head in the game.

As you can imagine, there’s a lot that goes into giving a great blowjob and a lot of it, for the girl performing the act on you, involves concentration. With so many variables — don’t go too hard, too fast, use your hands, do this, do that — it can be as stressful for her as it is pleasurable for you.

If you’ve ever wondered what a girl really thinks about giving head… here’s the scoop, straight from their mouths to your groin:

1. OK, slowly unbutton the pants while looking up at him seductively. Focus. He knows what’s coming… right?
2. Is that circumcised? Not circumcised? What am I unwrapping here?
When you’re making out and starting to get into that part of foreplay, women are turned on by the idea of going down on you or having a 69, but they’re also worried about what they’re getting themselves into — or rather, putting their mouth on. Does it turn us on? Sure — but it’s more than that. Jordan, a 27-year-old from Chicago says, “Some of us enjoy it. Some of us don't. It makes us feel sexy and powerful but also... we get nervous. We want to impress. But logistically — it’s a lot of work.” You can know if a girl is ready to start the process by how much she is stroking you down there — more hand movement means she’s thinking about leading the night to other places... and possibly giving you a blowjob .

3. Time to warm him up. Use your hands, then slowly start to lower your face. You can do it…

4. Going in for it now. Oh please, please, please don’t smell or taste bad. I really like this guy.
If a girl wants to go down on you, she will. Twenty-five year old Christie from Georgia says, “When I know I’m about to go down my guy, I'm thinking: ‘I'm about to blow you away (pun kinda not intended)... and I'm about to own you.’ I may be on my knees, but I'm bringing him to his.” But the one way to really turn her off? To push her head anywhere near that region both before and during the act. No girl wants to be pushed into submission, nor does she want to choke unknowingly because you place your hand on her head. It’s the easiest way to push ladies away from ever going near your balls again.

5. Gotta get it wet so I can do the hand and mouth thing again. He’s liking it… I think. Use your tongue, but not too much now…
6. A moan! Alright, I’m on the right track here.
When she’s made contact and is getting you warmed up, she’s likely thinking about all of the things she knows she needs to do — all at the same time! — to get you really turned on. Lauren, a 26-year-old from Los Angeles says, “Once I’m started, I’m in the zone. I’m thinking about tongue placement and usage, when to add a handjob to the blowjob, when to involve or not involve the balls, should I go faster or slower, is he enjoying it? Am I doing it right?” This is when it’s most important to give feedback to your partner: If you don’t like what she’s doing, steer her in the direction that will be good for both of you. She doesn’t want to do the same thing for the next 15 minutes with no result, and you don’t want to be uncomfortable. Gently tell her to move or to focus on the tip or to give some more love to your balls — whatever you need, voice it, so she can give you what you want.

7. I wonder if I can put the whole thing in. He’s average size, right? He’s what 6 inches? 7?

8. Oh god, I’m gagging. Don’t choke, don’t choke, don’t do it. He better not push my head down. OK, you can breathe again. But don’t stop!
The first time a gal ventures down south on a guy, she’s wondering a few things: Is he circumcised ? Will it be too big to get in my mouth — or will it be not quite big enough to do the handjob and the blowjob at once? Did he take care of business before I went to town? Wendy, a 25-year-old from Ohio, says she always appreciates it when a guy trims before she goes down on him. “I don’t need him to be shaven or to be flawless, but it’s a nice gesture when I can tell he freshened up before the act,” she says. If you anticipate any type of action below the belt, think ahead and make sure you’re in the best shape before you see her. Or rather, she sees you — up close and personal.

9. Oh sh*t, I’m supposed to make eye contact all seductively now. Alright, I’m looking….

10. How long has this been? I’m getting tired.
Here’s the biggest rule of thumb with oral sex: if she didn’t want you to finish (in her mouth, on her boobs or down her throat) — she wouldn’t be going down on you. However, this doesn’t mean that she has the neck strength to spend the next 20 minutes bent over your crotch, hoping you’ll one day, in the near future, finish your load. “I do like going down on my husband, but after a while, I get really tired and want to turn to other things,” Valerie, a 32-year-old from Boston says. If you sense she is getting exhausted from the constant bopping and hand movement, switch it up with some 69 or sex. You can always return to oral sex, but if you don’t think you’re close, don’t force her to break her neck to make you come.

11. Did we remember to turn off the stove after the pizza?

12. I wonder what time I should be at work tomorrow morning.
If you want to make your girl happy — and thus give you more blowjobs in the future — give her a heads-up when you’re about to finish. Not all women like to swallow or spit, some prefer your release to be on their bodies, but regardless of where you go, a warning will go a long way. “My boyfriend and I have a brief conversation before we get hot and heavy on the final act. This two-second decision on where he’ll finish makes me cringe less when I know it’s coming,” Anna, a 23-year-old from Kansas says.

13. Oh he’s pushing me to the balls. Yuck. Take a deep breath in and do it quickly.
14. OH MY GOD. Will he ever finish? My neck is killing me.
15. I don’t know how much longer I can focus on the tip without biting and while giving him a handjob.
All women in the world have one thought after oral sex: Give me some water, a towel… and return the favor. Please and thank you.
16. Alright, he’s got like one more minute before I just get on top and get it over with.
17. Alright, he’s got like one more minute before I just get on top and get it over with.
18. Did he just say he was close????
19. Alright, time to go faster now. It’s the end of the race, you got this!
20. Oh, I can feel it coming. He’s getting ready to finish.
21. I’m going to swallow it. Less messy. Please don’t taste bad, oh please don’t taste bad.
22. Yeah, yeah baby. That was hot for me too. Yep, really hot. Nope, don’t need water.
23. Yep, you’ll be ready for round two soon? OK, wake me up, k?

Want to return the favor? Check out our tips for going down on her ...

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Of all the sex acts out there, blow jobs are shrouded in the most mystery (maybe aside from anal sex or pegging, but still). For something that has to do with your mouth, there's not always a ton of communication that goes down between two people, pre-BJ. Here's to hoping we can clear up all the misconceptions someday, in a future that is bright and shiny.
1. I know what you're doing when I suddenly feel my head being nudged in a certain direction. Yeah, your "subtle" please-give-me-a-BJmove is not subtle at all. Women are all talking about this behind your back. We know what's going on.
2. The very first thought that goes through my head is, "Do I know when the last time this dude showered was?" Some penises smell foul, and almost always, those penises have not been washed recently. Especially in the summer, when all the little nicks and crannies of our bodies are filled with tiny pools of sweat, showering pre-oral sex is a nice courtesy. You can always just turn the shower into even more foreplay.
3. The very second thought that goes through my head is, "If boys don't wipe, is there, like, leftover pee dribble on this thing?" Seriously tho, can someone answer this for me? Should I be concerned about the pee residue?
4. When my face is that up-close to your dick, time moves at least four times slower than normal. Maybe this is because gravity's pull is stronger on objects that are closer to the ground, or maybe it's because penises actually bend time to make it pass more slowly. Who knows. All I know is that time comes to a standstill down there.
5. I have literally zero clue what to do about your balls. Like, do you want them included in this situation? Should I touch them? Putting my mouth near them seems ... gross. But please. Tell me. I have no idea.
6. Giving a man a blow job does not equal going down on a woman. Like, I am sure going down on women is difficult in its own ways, but having to concentrate on suction and moisture and looking hot while you're doing it, all while dealing with a gag reflex and tired jaw muscles is a chore .
7. It freaks me TF out when you're dead silent. Please gimme some feedback, some way of knowing that what I'm doing is even remotely OK. So many women are insecure about their BJ abilities. Maybe don't complain about how we don't give them enough when you make us feel terrified of screwing it up?
8. I start getting bored after, like, 30 seconds. It would be really ideal if all penises had a tiny little TV screen on them, so at least I could watch Netflix or something while I'm at it, but the human body doesn't have that customization option yet. Maybe in the 2017 model.
9. You absolutely do not get to come in my mouth/on my face without clearing it with me first. This is the best way to make sure I never talk to you again in my life and drag you online forever and ever. It will be so deserved. Do not be this person.
10. I don't have to swallow anything if I don't feel like it. And sometimes I'm in the mood for this, and other times I'm not. Women are nuanced beings. We can have different opinions on different days. Don't assume that just because I did something once, I'll do it every single time. This is why no. 9 is so crucial. ASK FIRST.
11. It's incredibly discomforting when you have zero pubic hair, TBH. I played with Ken dolls as a kid because Barbie needed a guy to hang out with, but I don't want to play with them anymore.
12. It's also a little cumbersome when you have a ton of pubic hair. Killing two birds with one stone is a great way to save time, in most cases. But flossing while getting your boyfriend off is definitely not one of them.
13. I'm going to stop the second my jaw gets sore, even if you haven't finished yet. Seriously though, in the immortal words of Samantha Jones, "They don't call it a job for nothin'." It's hard (LOL) work.
14. I'll give you a blow job when I want to, and only when I want to. The myth that women either hate or love doing this is wrong. I mean, obviously. Some women like it, some women hate it, and for most women, it just depends on the parter and the ~vibe~. Know that when I do it, it's because I want to. And when I don't, that's the end of the conversation.
15. Just because I'm on my period and don't feel like having sex does not mean I'm going to give you a blow job. Maybe I will if I'm feeling generous and flirty, but probably if I'm not in the mood to get off, I'm not in the mood to get you off either.

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November 29th 2016

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1. “It’s actually not a big deal. It depends on the woman’s gag reflex, but for the most part, it’s relatively tame. The only thing that can be a drag is if a guy takes forever to finish.” — Liz, 25
2. “I like it, but I can’t stand swallowing. If it’s someone I really trust and love, I’ll do it. I’m not a fan though. The actual act of the blow job is fine, enjoyable even, but I always dread the ending. And when guys don’t even warn you? The WORST.” — Tina, 26
3. “I’ve always been into them. They don’t require a ton of work. There are certain things you can do to up your BJ game, but for the most part, it’s the same thing. I really get off on how vulnerable men are during them. You have the most tender part of their body IN YOUR MOUTH. You’re 100% in control. I love that.” — Kelly, 23
4. “Being down there you really get a sense of your dude’s hygiene level. It’s funny how many jokes exist about the way vaginas smell. You ever been nose level with balls? It’s not always fantastic.” — Jennifer, 25
5. “It’s a thing you do because you know they like it. But that’s about it.” — Keisha, 22
6. “So, I’m actually waiting until marriage for the full V-card action. Yeah, I know some people consider oral sex cheating but whatever, you’re not my God. Because of this, I find blow jobs to be pretty erotic. Knowing you’re making someone you care about feel THAT good with your mouth/tongue? That’s a turn on.” — Alicia, 23
7. “It’s okay. Not great. Not terrible. Very average.” — Emily, 22
8. “I’m only down if he’s reciprocating. Men seem to think blow jobs are a given, but eating a girl out is optional. Nope. Not if you want something, man.” — Billie, 28
9. “Entirely disgusting. I hate every moment. I only perform them for people I’m really serious about, or special occasions. I’d rather just have sex.” — Sissy, 20
10. “It doesn’t do much for me, but if my boyfriend gets pleasure from it, I’m willing. It only becomes terrible if you’re with someone who hasn’t showered in a bit. Sweaty dick/testicles smell like an old shoe locker. It’s terrible.” — Barb, 24
11. “Tedious. I’ve got TMJ and I STILL do it. Men wouldn’t last one day in our shoes, I swear.” — Viv, 27
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