Women And Women Having Sex

Women And Women Having Sex
by Gigi Engle Published: Nov 1, 2017
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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"It was such a natural and liberating experience."
Remember your first time having sex? That uncomfortable, strange, confusin g ordeal? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
Despite what we see in the movies, first time romps are rarely the most orgasm-inducing, rocket-blasting sensual experiences of our burgeoning sex lives. The truth is, no one knows what they're doing.
And what about having sex with a woman? When two women have sex, it is as unique, awkward, and liberating as any other kind of sex. Sex between two women is valid, strange, and beautiful. But if you've never done it before, the experience may seem a little daunting. So, if you've been curious about what it's like to get down with another lady, or want to know what to expect when you finally take the plunge, here are six real women's stories on having sex with a woman for the first time.
"I had asked around about sex with women for the first time and heard everything from a casual 'it's hot' to 'it felt like coming home' to 'turned out eating pussy wasn't for me,' so I was very curious how I would react. I didn't really 'react' one way or another, it just felt very natural and I absolutely liked it. I indeed was struck by the softness of two female bodies against one another and how fulfilling sex can be without a penis in sight, but it was really just a great date followed by great sex. It absolutely confirmed that I was bi/queer but more than anything it just reminded me that as a bi person people are people, and good sex, in general, involves emotional (even casual sex !) and physical intimacy. Tuning into another person's body and mind doesn't change based on the body or genitalia of the person you're sleeping with. 13/10 would do again and did do again." — Sophie, 29
"One weekend party night, a friend from high school came up to visit me in my college town. We went out to a house party and started dancing together. When we got back to my place to crash, I invited her to sleep in my bed. Then I asked if I could kiss her.
"My heart was stuck in my throat at the idea that I could totally be reading her moves on me wrong and she might say no and reject me, but instead she cuddled up to me and gave me a huge kiss. We started making out and I said to her, 'I've never gone down on a girl and I really want to. Do you want to try?' She was just as interested. I was so nervous! I didn't know what I was doing, so I let my instincts take over. It was such a natural and liberating experience. It was also one of the few times I felt dominate and in control with a sexual partner.
"The next morning was a little awkward. Neither of us were identifying as bisexuals, but we also didn't chalk our experience up to being just a drunken mistake. We never had sex again after that, but it was what started my journey on identifying as bisexual and seeking out female sexual partners." — Kenna, 30
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"Sex with a woman for the first time gave me the courage to reclaim penetration. For as long as I could remember, penetration actually terrified me, and given my heteronormative definition of sex , I wrongly believed I could never have 'real sex' because of it. And, also wrongly, I believed that as a 'real lesbian' I couldn't enjoy or take part in penetration. But my first partner eased me into the feeling. And as I was eased in, it's like the d*mn floodgates opened and I realized penetration isn't just a dick's power. I feel more confident and excited to experiment with strap-ons and internal vibrators , not just on my future (consenting) partners but for use by them on me too!" — Madeline*, 26
Learn 14 mind-blowing facts that will completely change the way you think about orgasms.
"The first time I had sex with a woman I was 15, maybe 16, and it happened totally by accident. I could definitely tell that we were attracted to each other and I was always nervous around her. We weren't close friends, mainly because I was a blithering idiot around her, because sexual attraction does that to people, you know? I knew I was gay but wasn't out, and I also intrinsically knew this girl was gay too. I think that's why we were so shy around each other.
"One night we were hanging out in a big group until it was just the two of us. We crawled up into her bunk bed (at camp) and at some point, she put her arm around me. The next thing I knew we were kissing and the next thing I knew she was going down on me! I was nervous as hell once we started kissing, but after a few seconds, it felt so right, that I was totally swept up in the moment! And then I started going down on her, and even though I had never done it before, it just felt really natural. Afterward, however, we were both awkward. I mean how could we be normal around each other after we had experienced this crazy-intense sexual experience? We avoided each other. For a year." — Zara, 31
"I'd been dreaming about having sex with women. I literally used to Google: 'How to have sex with a woman if you are a woman.' When the time finally came when I'd be able to have sex with a woman, I kind of chickened out. I didn't let her go down on me and I didn't go down on her . I had no idea what I was doing. There was a lot of hand-stuff and messy-kissing all over the place. I didn't have an orgasm and I don't think she did either.
"It was still radical, though, because I was this closet-case high schooler with a paralyzing crush on my best friend and I had finally done something about it. After that, I started kissing more and more girls until the opportunity came again. The second time was definitely better.
Having sex with a woman for the first time (especially, I think, if you're a young gay like I was) can be really daunting. I worried about 'doing it right' until I learned how to communicate with my partners." — Brit, 25
"The first time I slept with a woman, I also slept with her husband. It was with my best friend’s sister. She’s been with her husband for over a decade, and he is the most painfully sexy man on the planet. One night, my friend’s sister and her husband propositioned me for a threesome . The three of us spent two steamy days rolling around together. My best friend still has no idea." — Angela*, 29
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in NYC. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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Have you ever had your life flash before your eyes? I have.
Well, more specifically, my sex life.
It happened while lying back on a cold latex mattress as a GP peered beneath a sheath of surgical cloth draped over my pelvis.
“Ahhh, yes. I see what you mean. It looks inflamed,” he noted.
This is not how I planned today would go.
My new squeeze was already on her way to see me, having made most of the trek from Orange to Sydney.
We’d met on Tinder when I was what they call, a “baby gay” – still green to same-sex dating, and wildly naive about the world of heartache I was about to enter.
As someone who spent my twenties and early thirties convinced I was emotionally cold on account of never crying over a break-up, I’d learn this was one of many overlooked signs I was in fact gay and extremely able to be wounded ; when it was by another woman.
She was a fly-in-fly-out miner who faced her own mortality half the month, navigating excavators hundreds of metres underground, and spent the other two weeks in Sydney.
The sex was, quite simply, life-changing. Like seeing the world in full colour for the first time.
I savoured every moment as though it were the first bite of a delicious meal.
“Okay, I get it now. You’re gay. You’re VERY gay!” she’d laughed the first time we slept together; having remarked I struck her as “a straight girl, experimenting” when we initially matched.
It was fast and frivolous, but I fell crushingly, embarrassingly in love.
Something no one tells you about coming out much later in life is that it essentially thrusts you back into adolescence.
I’ve since discovered an entire community of self-confessed “late-bloomer lesbians” via TikTok who confirm the existence of this phenomenon.
Ranging from their early thirties to fifties, they’re women who, like me, had relationships with men for decades before coming to terms with their queerness. And you could be forgiven for mistaking them for a bunch of teen girls hopped up on puberty hormones; giddily lip-synching to love songs and spouting angsty monologues about their insatiable sex drives.
It would all seem terribly cringe-worthy if I hadn’t experienced it myself.
“It’s like a second puberty,” a fellow late-bloomer explained to me.
“Because you never really had one if you came out later in life. We (late-bloomers) spent our teens trying to fit into the box of liking boys and having sex we didn’t love. Then you allow yourself to have crushes on women and sleep with them and you can’t get enough. You’re almost making up for lost time.”
Indeed, during my first girlfriend’s visits to Sydney, we did very little else than make up for lost time.
And when she returned to the mine, I found myself like one of the TikTok late-bloomer lesbians – our last encounter playing on an enticing loop in my brain, my vibrator suddenly requiring frequent recharging.
Unfortunately, something else no one tells you about coming out later in life, is that there’s such a thing as overstimulation.
I was accustomed to sporadic solo sex prior to this point, and the kind of partnered sex straight women are most familiar with: penetration-focused.
But my second wind of puberty, coupled with the distinctly inverse dynamic of sex with another woman, meant the typically underacknowledged part of my vulva moved from a supporting character to a leading role overnight.
A role it was, evidently, unprepared for.
Because it was just a couple of weeks into our budding romance, I felt a sudden surge of pain in my pelvis.
“It’s probably just an easily treatable STI,” a friend reassured me on the phone.
“Everyone gets one at some point. Go to the doctor and get it looked at. But in the meantime, you should probably avoid sex and tell your girlfriend,” she added.
As someone who’s particular about seeing the same female GP, I typically book my appointments days ahead. But with my new squeeze already halfway to Sydney and the possibility of abstinence and an awkward conversation looming, I abandoned protocol and panic-booked with the only available doctor that afternoon.
An hour later, I was detailing my phantom pain to a male GP who looked suspiciously young to have graduated medical school.
“Okay, well there are no female doctors who can look at it today, so would you like me to book you in with one in the morning?” he asked, looking down at a stack of notes in front of him, as though trying to avert my gaze.
“No. I need it looked at right now,” I urged, spontaneously losing all decorum, and beginning to tug at my jeans zipper in desperation for an answer.
“Uh, okay. Let me duck out and grab a female nurse to be present. You can hop on the bed while I’m go – ah, yes. Do that,” he started, noticing I’d already shamelessly wriggled out of my jeans and lunged onto the bed.
“We’ll run your blood and urine now, but the good news is, this doesn’t appear to be an STI,” he remarked some moments later, from the end of the bed.
“How could that be?!” I protested, recalling a Google search I’d conducted earlier that suggested I had a rare, potentially incurable infection.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve just, uh – ” He paused to clear his throat awkwardly.
“You’ve overstimulated your clitoris. Give the vibrator a rest for a few days, and perhaps find some other things to do with your partner,” he finally finished, appearing relieved to have gotten the words out.
“Are you sure? Can you take another look?” I persisted, throwing off the modesty cloth so he could view my predicament more clearly – any sense of demureness reserved for such an occasion now long gone.
“I’m sure,” he rebutted, pulling the curtain around me abruptly.
A few hours after my girlfriend arrived in Sydney, my results came back negative, and after a few days’ rest, my vulva felt back to normal, too.
Though it’s been more than a year since I last saw her, I still think fondly of my first girlfriend and the world of sexual possibility our romance unlocked in me, as well as the lessons I gleaned from it.
Arguably the most important one being, that, as it turns out, I’m not immune to heartbreak. All those movie scenes of women crying into tubs of Ben & Jerry’s while listening to sad songs really are accurate.
Also, queer sex doesn’t have a set endpoint, which is why, as a general rule, you should always stock Gatorade when your long-distance girlfriend is in town.
And that second wave of puberty? It hits hard. So go easy on the vibrator and passion-filled all-nighters – unless you want to have your entire sex life flash before your eyes in a doctor’s office.

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Elissa Alvarez is paying a high price after she was filmed having sex on a crowded public beach.
She told INSIDE EDITION: “I am a sex offender right now.”
The 21-year-old and her bodybuilder boyfriend, Jose Caballero, are now on the national sex offender registry .
She said: “I’m not as sex offender. I’m not a child molester. I would never do anything to a child physically. I absolutely love children I always said I wanted six kids.”
Alvarez continued: “When I have a kid I am going to be labeled a sex offender and will people want to bring their kids to my kids? And can I go to there? And now, I think should I even how a kid now. It's not fair at all .”
She was on a packed beach in the middle of the afternoon when she had sex with her boyfriend. Not only was the couple caught on a cell phone camera but it was in the presence of a three-year-old playing on the beach.
Cops in Bradenton, Florida hauled Caballero away wearing only a red speedo. Alvarez was in her bikini.
The couple was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition, which is a felony. They faced a whopping 15 years.
Her lawyer Gregory Hagopian said: “People say these two should have known better.”
He went on: “I don't disagree with them. To go ahead and convict someone of a sex crime and put them behind bars for years and a sex offender for life that is a bit too much.”
Prosecutor Anthony Dafonseca disagrees. He said: “This is someone sexual explicit actions in front of minors at a beach at 2:30 in the afternoon. This is not what you can expect to see.”
It took a jury only 15 minutes to reach a guilty verdict. The key piece of evidence was the viral video taken by a grandmother on the beach.
Caballero , who has a prior conviction for cocaine trafficking, was sentenced to two-and-a-
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