Women And Oral Sex
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Women And Oral Sex
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As most people with a vulva will tell you, oral sex can be the difference between a lackluster night of sex and an out-of-this-world orgasmic experience. Research has shown that run-of-the-mill P-in-V intercourse isn't enough to send most vulva owners over the edge : in a 2017 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , nearly 75% of women said they needed external clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, or that clitoral stimulation made their orgasms feel even better. (Only 18% said they could come from vaginal penetration alone.) My friend, this is where oral sex comes in. As an added bonus, lots of people insist oral sex is more intimate, in a way, than penetrative sex. In other words, it's a great way to bond with your partner.
To help you have the best cunnilingus experience ever, we put together a list of the hottest oral sex positions to try with a partner ASAP. Whichever position(s) you choose, be sure to check out our list of the best oral sex tips , including how to tease your partner before going all-in, and how to bring toys in the mix. (A vibrating butt plug combined with oral action? Hello, blended orgasm .)
If you and your partner are looking for even more ways to spice up your oral sex game, you might want to peruse our lists of the best blowjob positions and the best positions for some good ol' fashioned 69'ing .
This position is great for playing with power dynamics. The receiving partner gets to feel like royalty as they perch on a throne (or, you know, an ottoman or chair) while the giver kneels on the floor.
On the one hand, it's super sexy and super productive. On the other hand, some people find it hard to focus on giving and receiving at the same time.
If direct clitoral stimulation is a little much for the receiver, they can close their legs and have the giver apply indirect stimulation to labia and other areas around the clit. You could warm up in this position before transitioning into something more intense, or just stay here for the duration! Remember, the clitoris is so much more than that little bud at the top of the labia, so licking the surrounding area is still going to feel un-be-lieeeevable.
Named for the famous magician, this oral sex position features two "magic tricks." The first: by placing a pillow under the receiver's hips, you can ~magically~ tilt their pelvis so their feet can rest comfortably on the giver's shoulder blades. The second: in this position, the giver can gently push up on the receiver's abdomen, helping to expose the clitoris from underneath the clitoral hood. Note: only try the second "trick" if the receiver is into direct clitoral stimulation. If not, it might be too intense.
Many people with a vulva find they're more sensitive on one side of the clitoris, and this is the perfect sex position to make the most of that heightened sensitivity. The receiver lies on the bed with one leg in the air, while the giver kneels on the floor. (Note: the receiver should raise the leg corresponding with the sensitive side of the clitoris—it'll help expose the area to the giver's tongue.)
There's an age old blowjob/hand job trick where the giver does seven shorter strokes followed by one longer one. According to our friends at Cosmo , a similar principle goes for pleasuring a person with a vulva. The giver can alternate between lighter moves—like gentle licks along the labia—and more intense moves, like a hard suck or a little finger action.
This position is essentially an all-access pass to the receiver's vulva and anus, if rimming is on the menu.
Talk about another great position for adding a rim job into the mix! The giver can dabble in a little analingus while stimulating the receiver's clitoris with their fingers.
The receiver lies on their back holding both legs in the air. The giver can treat them to a thigh/booty massage while they go to town.
Ever heard of the "Kivin" method? If not, prepare to have your mind blown. The Kivin method is essentially sideways cunnilingus, and some people with a vulva say it helps them achieve orgasm faster. To make it feel even better, the giver can use their hand to apply pressure to the receiver's taint.
In this position, the giver is in the water and the receiver is on their back with their hips right at the edge, according to Cosmo . PSA: this is the correct way to have pool sex. Doin' it in the water simply isn't the greatest idea .
In this position, the giver uses their mouth to create suction over the receiver's labia and clitoris, then moves their head side to side in a swiping motion, according to Cosmo . Consider using a sex pillow (or just a regular pillow!) to prop up the receiver's hips.
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Anni Irish
Anni Irish has published cultural criticism, articles, and essays in Bomb Magazine, Brooklyn Magazine, Good, Hyperallergic, Men’s Health, Marie Claire, The Outline, Racked, Salon, Teen Vogue, Vice, and the Village Voice, among many others.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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We asked women to tell us the most common mistakes guys make during cunnilingus
Oral sex can be tricky: some men may think they have all the right moves, when in fact they're doing it all wrong. While most research indicates that clitoral stimulation is key for women to reach orgasm, that doesn't mean that men should only spend a few seconds down there and expect their partners to be satisfied. Making a woman come takes time and effort, and the only thing worse than being bad at oral sex is not trying to please your partner at all.
To figure out some of the most common mistakes men make during oral sex, we spoke to six different women to get their takes. The next time you head down south, keep these tips in mind, so you can turn that “'Oh, no” into an “'Oh, yes."
Let’s be honest — sometimes, it can take a long time to find a woman’s clit. That said, knowledge is power, and being familiar with the female anatomy will only aid your cause. Unfortunately, this is all too rare: according to C osmopolitan 's Female Orgasm Survey , 50% of women said their partners couldn't quite help them achieve orgasm, and 38% of women also said their partners didn’t give them enough clitoral stimulation for them to be close to orgasm in the first place.
These numbers seem to suggest two things: 1) men can't quite figure out where the clitoris is, and 2) they may not be trying to stimulate their partners’ clitorises at all.
“There have been multiple times I have been with a man, and, for the life of him, he can’t find my clit," said Allison, 29. "It’s not this huge mystery where it is, but for some guys it seems like they are just lost in my vagina.”
So guys, just take a second and look! By looking first, you’ll be able to see the labia, the folds of skin around the vaginal opening, and, yes, the pea-sized bump directly above where the lips meet, a.k.a. the tip of the clitoris (the rest of it is actually inside!). While not every woman achieves orgasm from clitoral stimulation , many do (75 percent, according to one study), so getting to know your partner's anatomy is crucial.
Yes, it is possible for you to literally rub a woman the wrong way, so it's up to you to figure out what works best for your partner. The clitoris is a very sensitive area, and when it’s stroked too hard, it can actually be incredibly painful.
“One time a guy rubbed my clit with such vigor and rapidness, I was like, ‘Um, no thanks, that’s OK, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but that actually hurts. Please stop,'" said Katie, 35.
It’s great to be excited, and it's awesome that you want to get your partner excited too, but remember to be careful. To avoid irritating your partner, try to engage all sides of the clitoris — inside, outside, and side to side. (For more tips, check out our ultimate guide to oral sex .) Use a combination of both your hands and your mouth. By lightly flicking your tongue lightly around your partner’s clit, as well as inserting a few fingers in her vagina and moving them in a come hither motion at the same time, you can really get your partner going.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of courage to speak up and tell your partner what is and isn't working for you in bed. That's why it's so important to remember that communication is key, both inside and outside of the bedroom.
It’s important to be up front about your needs and to feel comfortable enough with your partner to talk about what you do and don't like in the bedroom. And it's important to make sure your partner is feeling heard as well. “I hooked up with someone a while back, and over the course of him going down on me, he didn’t once ask me how it felt or if I was enjoying myself," Jessica, 25, said. "The whole experience made me feel like he just didn’t really care.”
A good way to avoid this? Checking in and asking, “Hey, how does this feel?” or “Is this working for you?” It lets your partner know that you care and that you want them to feel good — which makes sex more fun for everyone involved.
Often, there is the assumption if you go down on someone, they will do the same to you. But the truth is, not everyone is up for returning the favor. People have a wide range of attitudes about specific sex acts, and for whatever reason, some women just don’t enjoy giving head , or they only like doing it in certain contexts (if they're dating a man seriously, for instance). So don't assume that if you go down on a woman, she'll go down on you, because you might be disappointed.
“I used to not even let guys go down on me at all," Lindsey, 28, said. "I'd be intimate with a man, and they'd just lightly tongue around my clit for maximum of two minutes and then immediately pull their penis out...the fact that they expected [oral sex] after such a dismal performance was a huge turnoff.”
Rushing through something that's supposed to give your partner pleasure isn't fun for anyone. If you take your time and focus on how your partner feels, they will be more inclined to treat you the same way.
No two women are alike, so it's important to understand that what one of your partners wants, another might hate. You should always try to meet your partner at her level: if she's more adventurous than you and want to introduce a toy or a different position into the bedroom, give it a whirl.
“I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to include a toy , or suggested being eaten out in a different position or even in different places, and the person I was with wasn’t into it," says Emma, 33. "I think it’s important to be open minded and if my partner isn’t, I tend to lose interest quickly.”
You should never do something that you're uncomfortable with, but if you're constantly shooting down your partner's ideas and are generally resistant to trying new things, that will get old fast. Keep an open mind and listen when your partner tells you what she enjoys in bed. You never know if you like something until you try it.
Getting caught in a sexual rut isn’t fun for anyone. If the sex gets boring for you, odds are it will be boring for her, too. If you find yourself in this position, don’t get discouraged. Trying new things can make it more exciting for both you and your partner.
“I had been dating a guy for a few weeks, and every time he went down on me it was the exact same thing: a few minutes of licking, a little hand action, then he would try and do both at the same time," said Hannah, 41. "It was like he had an oral sex handbook, and it wasn’t working at all. He wasn’t open to criticism or being spontaneous. That killed the relationship pretty fast.”
Changing up your sexual routine can be as simple as using a different hand motion, or licking and caressing around your partner’s thighs for an extended period of time. This creates buildup and anticipation on her end (which will hopefully lead to a bigger orgasm).
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Jordyn Taylor
Jordyn Taylor is the Deputy Editor of Content at Men's Health.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Ever wondered if she’s actually enjoying herself?
If you enjoy going down on the woman in your life , there's a good chance she wants to return the favor. But have you ever wondered if she's actually enjoying herself when she gives you a blowjob? After all, the oral sex move has "job" in its title—it's only natural to second guess her excitement as she makes her way below your belt.
Of course, every person enjoys different things in the bedroom, and it's impossible to make a blanket statement about whether or not women like giving blowjobs. But we can tell you this much: some women definitely enjoy performing oral sex on their partners. Just peruse the hundreds of responses to this Reddit thread , which asked: “Women who like giving blowjobs, why?”
The women who responded had a variety of reasons for their love of giving head. On a psychological level, some said they enjoyed the power of having their partner at their mercy, and being able to control their pleasure with the slightest tongue flick. On a physical level, others said they liked the taste and the feeling of a smooth penis in their mouth. And then there's the emotional side to blowjobs: a number of respondents said they use oral sex to show their partner how much they love and appreciate them.
Just remember, not every woman likes to give oral sex. If that's your partner, be respectful, and don't worry—you can always get yourself a blowjob machine .
Here's what 17 women had to say about why they like giving blowjobs.
"Because I like receiving, and it would be shitty of me to expect enthusiasm down there if I wasn't willing to go to town on a guy's junk myself." [ via ]
"Turns me on, makes me feel sexy. I love feeling a guy grow hard for me. I suppose its also a control thing." [ via ]
“I feel in control... but most importantly, I just love pleasing him. My boyfriend is currently working 65-70 hour weeks, manual labor. He’s exhausted when he comes home. He eats dinner, plays on the computer 30-45 minutes, then drags himself to bed. He’s doing all this so I don’t have to worry about working while I’m in school.
"So, a few times a week, he gets a BJ. He’s too tired for sex, but that release helps him sleep, and keep his stress levels in check. I occasionally get sex in the process but not like we used to. That’s ok. This season of our lives will be over soon, and things will get back to normal.” [ via ]
"Everything! I love pleasing a man. I love hearing him moan. I love being in control of his pleasure. I love insisting that he relax and let me do this! I love the feeling of him inside of me. I love feeling him grow as he becomes more excited! I love the intimate connection that we form. And I love the taste of cum." [ via ]
"It's intimate and deeply satisfying. I like the feeling of having a hard or soft penis in my mouth. It's fulfilling for me." [ via ]
"I love sucking it from softness to hardness. It's so exciting feeling it growing in my mouth." [ via ]
"I love hearing a man moan and cum because of what I'm doing to him...but the moans are the best part. It sucks when a man isn't vocal." [ via ]
"I always enjoyed the feeling of giving pleasure to my partner with oral, but only in the past few years did that grow into more of a serious kink. I only really watch blowjob porn. If I am thinking about sex, it is about blowjobs. If I am having sex, (not always but most of the time,) I am thinking about giving him head. It is pretty much my number one desire in the bedroom now. I love deep-throating the most and all the other frills that go with it. But light teasing sessions are also really great, the slow build up for both of us is very exciting. I have absolutely no idea why I like it so much, I just do, but I have never had any complaints so never really worried." [ via ]
"Guys tend to be quiet and reserved with most sex acts, except blow jobs. We get responsive as hell reactions from you in this activity more than any other with minimal effort or personal distraction. Makes a girl feel sexy, and as such more likely to want more
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