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8 Very Brave Women Reveal Their BIGGEST Sex Regrets
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By Anna Quintana — Written on Jul 29, 2015
As the saying goes, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and it couldn't be more true when it comes to regrets both genders have about their sex lives.
In a recent study conducted by the University of Texas and University of California-Los Angeles, researchers set out to prove that regret is part of the evolutionary process when it comes hooking up, and its findings were pretty interesting.
While men most often think they should've slept with more people or been more sexually adventurous, women most often regretted having sex with the wrong partner.
The main regrets for women also included losing their virginity to the wrong partner, cheating and moving too fast.
"The consequences of casual sex were so much higher for women than for men, and this is likely to have shaped emotional reactions to sexual liaisons even today," said Martie Haselton, a UCLA social psychology professor who worked on the project.
We polled women of all ages to find out their biggest I-really-wish-I-hadn't moments when it comes to their sex life, past and present.
1. "Having sex with my boss. I had to work with him for six months after, co-workers gossiped and it was just awkward." - Elizabeth, 24
2. "My biggest sexual regret was falling for a gigolo. He was a personal trainer and would date older women who bought him things. He didn't consider it cheating." - Sam, 36
3. "I regret having a boyfriend the first two years of college because clearly it didn't work out, and I could've been having more fun those years."- Monica, 23
4. "I would have lowered my expectations when it came to losing my virginity. I didn't understand what the hype was about. I thought, 'This is what people wait for? Not impressed.' Thank God it's gotten better since then."- Jessica, 42
5. "I regret not having more relationships , obviously sex included, before marrying my high school sweetheart." - Maria, 58
6. " Online dating sites. I met a guy and we had sex, and I never heard back from him again. He didn't even ask for my phone number."- Lisette, 28
7. "Having sex with losers. No job, they couldn't afford me. I settled ... but they were fun." - Vicky, 47
8. "I regret losing my virginity before I was ready. I felt pressured because it seemed like everyone was doing it, and I had a boyfriend who I loved, so I thought I was 'supposed' to. But I just wasn't ready at all." - Lisa, 26
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Missionary gets the shaft as the most boring sex position, but it might just be women’s new favorite after this scientific discovery.
Researchers at private gynecology clinic New H. Medical in New York found that the tried-and-true method — with the male on top of a woman whose hips are propped by a pillow — is the best way to get blood flow to the clitoris and achieve orgasm, according to a Daily Mail exclusive report.
Doctors used an ultrasound scanner to measure blood flow on a test couple as they got it on in five positions for 10 minutes each, including face-to-face with female above (“The Cowgirl”), face-to-face and seated (“Lotus”), face-to-face with male above, with and without a pillow (“Missionary”) and kneeling with woman bent over (“Doggy-style).
Additionally, according to the scans, face-to-face positions generally enhanced clitoral blood flow, leading to better orgasms.
Despite countless guides touting “how to please your man/woman” available in the media, the team of researchers, led by Dr. Kimberley Lovie, aimed to address a dearth of “scientific research that evaluates the association between different coital positions and their ability to produce female orgasm,” they wrote, per DailyMail.
“The kneeling/rear entry position produces the least amount of direct clitoral contact, and resulted in a negligible increase in blood flow compared to the face-to-face positions,” researchers wrote, per DailyMail.
The pillow was key to maximum pleasure as they achieve deeper penetration.
“Pillows marketed for this intention, often referred to as ‘sex pillows,’ or ‘positioning pillows’ are usually firm and wedge shaped, providing more precise and consistent pelvic angulation than conventional bed pillows,” they explained.
However, they noted that results among women may vary as they don’t experience the same level of stimulation in every sex position, due to men’s own unpredictable or inconsistent “thrusting forces.” Still, they hope that the finding will help inform clinicians and their patients with sexual dysfunction.
“Difficulty achieving orgasm, the causes of which are multifactorial, is one component of sexual dysfunction,” researchers concluded. “Clinicians can use these findings to counsel patients about which coital positions might help them achieve climax.”

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Question posted by miooke on 10 May 2013
My wife has taken 10mg. Several times since menopause she says (and I can verify)she can naturally lubricate as she did when she was 25. She excites much faster and also feels her orgasms are more intence. Her only complaint if you can call it that is her clitoris stays erect for quite some time.
i have female sexual dysfunction and i want to buy mens viagra and cialis both thanx for the info
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My life in sex: ‘I am a female incel. I am desperate for a touch’
‘It’s incredibly lonely and I miss sex desperately.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian
My life in sex: the middle-aged chatroom user
Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
The woman who has been involuntarily celibate for 13 years
M y ex husband was repeatedly unfaithful. I always forgave him, blaming my own failings, until he eventually left me for his mistress while I was pregnant with our third child. That was 13 years ago, and I have been celibate, against my wishes, ever since. I suppose I am a female incel.
At first, being a single parent of a newborn and two distraught children didn’t leave me time to even consider dating. These days, the thought of even trying to talk to a man brings on a panic attack. I’m a good mother, but that’s all I am. I work in a job that I don’t particularly like, and I wonder how I went from being 33 and relatively happily married, to 46 and peri‑menopausal. I feel like I’m watching my life vanish behind me.
My husband was my first and only boyfriend. I have been single ever since he left. No dates, no kisses, nothing. I was always unattractive, and now I have a three-baby, gravity-and-comfort-eating shaped body. More bits sag and wobble than anyone could want to touch, but I am desperate for a touch, especially now that hugs from the children are more to humour me than anything else.
It is incredibly lonely and I miss sex desperately, but I am ageing, unconfident, unloved. I fantasise about being loved and desired, although I rarely masturbate as it’s just a depressing reminder of what I’ll never have. I don’t have any connections where I could meet someone, but even if I did, I wouldn’t try. The future feels very long and very empty.
Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com

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