Woman Orgasm
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Woman Orgasm
What Does an Orgasm Feel Like? 17 Women Get Real About Orgasms
“Like tangling up a bunch of Christmas lights inside you and then blowing a fuse.”
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If you ask 17 women "What does an orgasm feel like?" you'll get 17 slightly different answers. Just like every body is different, every orgasm is different, but they all have one thing in common: They feel good. Whether from partnered sex or masturbation, there are few things that hit the spot as much as achieving orgasm .
"The brain and central nervous system are responsible for sexual responses like orgasm,” says Heather Corinna, author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College and founder of sex education site Scarleteen . “During sexual pleasure, all the nerve endings of your body (including your genitals, all linked to your nervous system) are in concert and communication with your brain, and vice-versa.”
The way orgasms feel varies from person to person. Here, we asked 17 women what an orgasm feels like and here's what they had to say.
“Screaming for joy. Feeling everything and nothing at the same time.”
“Like tangling up a bunch of Christmas lights inside you and then blowing a fuse.”
“The stars emoji mixed with the explosion emoji.”
“I think the best thing about an orgasm is that you can't really be thinking about anything else besides your own pleasure. It's all-consuming and euphoric.”
“In romantic terms: Uninhibited release of control, of self-consciousness, of everything.”
“If you were to ask me to physically describe the feeling: It's like a really wonderful and powerful sneeze in your vagina. The kind of sneeze that you can sense building up for a while, and then it happens and is just the most satisfying sneeze and you hope you have to sneeze again.”
“You know when Sailor Moon floats up into the air as a beam of light shines through her body and she transforms into a superhero? That.”
“The feeling is the same level of happiness as when you're sprawled out on a lounge chair on a tropical beach, and unironically order a [non-alcoholic] strawberry daiquiri because you are unstoppable.”
“An orgasm feels like electric dominoes are falling down in different directions under your skin.”
“It's a buildup of tension that arches your back and curls your toes, almost like a clenching feeling. And just when you think you can't take it anymore, suddenly all that tension is released and pulses throughout your body. It's the best relief.”
“Like a real moment in the day that's just for you (and maybe your partner too, if you have one). It doesn't work if you're distracted, at least not for me.”
“When it's really good it's like an out-of-body experience, like I can feel my clitoris on a roller-coaster ride but my soul and mind are on a whole other level of connection with myself or the person I'm with and it takes over my body. Usually it leaves my whole body shaking and I can't stand up for a few minutes.”
“It's similar to your body falling off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy. It's a sense of sensual release that you find yourself having no control over and letting yourself go because it's just too damn good. An earth-shattering female orgasm is one of a kind.”
“Like a hard candy and you suck on it and then all of a sudden you get to the center and it's the burst of flavor.”
“The relief of walking up the stairs to your fifth-floor walk-up into your air-conditioned apartment.”
“Like melting chocolate in the microwave.”
“Remember the first time you tried an avocado or ate avocado toast? That feeling of bliss and taste of deliciousness? That's what an orgasm feels like.”
Studies suggest that orgasms can actually benefit your health. Orgasms trigger the release of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin , which, in addition to making you feel amazing, have also been shown to lower blood pressure . Women who masturbate to orgasm also report having higher self-esteem than women who don't, leading to better overall mental health. Orgasms have even been shown to have positive effects on the gut health , improving digestion, decreasing bloating and ameliorating the negative effects of anxiety and depression.
Over half of American adults say they masturbate one to four times a week, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior , making it an easy and popular way to reap the health benefits of regular orgasm. Another huge benefit? Better sleep.
“For people having difficulty sleeping, it helps them sleep,” said Dr. Jennifer Berman , urologist and sexual health expert. “It can help to limit stress and tension. It can help to relieve pain in the body. It can even relieve menstrual cramps."
The best thing about getting to know your body and your sexuality is that you don’t need a partner to reap the benefits of orgasms.
Shailene Woodley said it best when she talked about the importance of young women learning about masturbation. “As a young woman you don’t learn how to pleasure yourself, you don’t learn what an orgasm should be, you don’t learn that you should have feelings of satisfaction. I’ve always had a dream of making a book called There’s No Right Way to Masturbate ," she said .
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If you relied on Hollywood as your guide to sexual pleasure , you'd think that the typical woman only needed to rock the sheets for 8 seconds before finding herself on the brink of an earth-shattering orgasm .
But in the real world, this usually isn't the way it goes. And the results of one study back up the fact that not only do most women need some level of hands-on touching to hit climax during intercourse, the type of touch—the rhythm, motion, and pressure—varies widely.
The study, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy , surveyed over 1,000 women between ages 18 and 94. Participants were asked how much touching they needed to reach orgasm and what exact strokes produced the most pleasure, among other questions.
One major finding: 37% of women said they need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Another 36% said that having this body part touched isn't necessary for reaching the big O—but it does make the experience that much better.
When it comes to specifics, two-thirds of the women in the study said they preferred up-and-down motions directly on their clitoris, while 52% enjoyed direct circular movements and a third liked direct side-to-side strokes. The majority of women reported preferring light to medium pressure on their vulva , with 11% preferring firm pressure there.
Among the two thirds of women who said they preferred indirect clitoral stimulation, 69% said they enjoyed touching "through the skin above the hood," the study stated. Approximately 29% said they liked it “through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich)." Twenty percent favored indirect touch “through the skin on the right side of [the] clitoris,” and 19.2% chose “through the skin on the left side of [the] clitoris.”
"I hope this study challenges the idea that certain things work for everyone or everyone should have sex a certain way," Debby Herbenick, PhD, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and a co-author of the study, tells Health.
"Forever, data on orgasms during intercourse focused on college women or people in sex therapy," says Herbenick. "But this study was nationally representative and speaks to women of all ages, educations, races, and ethnicities, since it matches the demographics of women in the United States."
While there's no formula for the perfect orgasm, the study shows that some types of touch are more popular than others. And while the researchers make no judgments, Herbenick has one suggestion for women hoping to experience more pleasurable orgasms: maintain an open dialogue with your partner about the type of touch you like.
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Key points
Depending on the study, one-third to two-thirds of women say they’ve faked an orgasm at least once.
Many popular sex positions don't provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger: the clitoris.
Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily.
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Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
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New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
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Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
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Personal Growth
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Stopping Smoking
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Relationships
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We all harbor secrets. Some are big and bad; some are small and trivial. Researchers have parsed which truths to tell and which not to.
Posted January 31, 2019
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
“Did you come?” This question looms over a good deal of lovemaking, especially among lovers under 30. Fortunately, gentlemen, it’s usually not difficult to recognize women’s orgasms. And it’s fairly easy to help most women get there. All men need to do is let go of the idea that intercourse is all it takes.
Depending on the study, one-third to two-thirds of women say they’ve faked an orgasm at least once:
Faking is age-related. As age increases, more women become better able to ask for the clitoral caresses that trigger an orgasm, and most men gain insights into the sexual moves that help women climax.
I’d be interested to hear from women about faking it. Have you ever? Why? How did it affect the relationship? And has the relationship endured?
Gentlemen, given the frequency of faking, if you feel the need to ask, chances are she didn’t come. Especially if you make love drunk, rush into intercourse, or don’t provide gentle, extended hand massage of her clitoris and cunnilingus every time.
Most orgasms are actually pretty hard to miss. Women’s resemble men’s. Think about your own and you’ll be better able to identify women’s. The vast majority begin with the quickening of breathing often accompanied by gasps or moans followed by several seconds of rapid, involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vulva and anus, usually with a jerky movement of the hips and often the whole body. Orgasms conclude with release into relaxation and dreamy contentment. If you help her to orgasm orally, your lips and tongue are likely to feel her vaginal muscle contractions.
If you want to see women have orgasms, ignore the vast majority of porn . The women moan, groan, and thrash, seeming to climax, but they don’t. I’ve interviewed several female porn actors. All were orgasmic at home during personal lovemaking with their real partners. But none ever came on camera. Not one.
Why? Largely because porn depicts male fantasies of women endlessly servicing men with fellatio and intercourse. Porn contains very little of what actually helps women climax—leisurely, playful, extended kissing, cuddling, and whole-body massage, gentle hand jobs, and lots of gentle cunnilingus. The women actors didn’t get that on the set but did at home.
However, one little corner of the amateur porno-sphere can be instructive. You can watch hundreds of real women have real orgasms using their hands or vibrators by visiting sample-aggregation sites (like PornHub). Among the myriad categories, select Orgasm Compilations.
Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. The old in-out doesn’t provide much stimulation for women’s orgasm trigger, the clitoris, which sits an inch or two above the vaginal opening under the top junction of the vaginal lips.
But many couples would like women to come during intercourse. Three intercourse positions allow men to provide direct clitoral massage quite easily. In addition, a slight variation on the man-on-top (missionary) position may also help.
Almost all women can climax solo by hand or vibrator, but with partners, around 30 percent have problems. That’s what the University of Chicago found in a study of 3,299 women age 18 to 85. Fortunately, the overwhelming majority can learn to have orgasms. In the words of sexologist Erwin J. Haeberle, “Orgasm is learned. The teacher is masturbation .” Some suggestions:
Eichel, E.W. et al. “The Technique of Coital Alignment and Its Relation to Female Orgasmic Response and Simultaneous Orgasm,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1988) 14:129.
Eichel, E. and P. Noblie. The Perfect Fit. Dutton, NY, 1992.
Fahs, B. “Coming to Power: Women’s Fake Orgasms and Best Orgasm Experiences Illuminate the Failures of (Hetero)sex and the Pleasures of Connection,” Culture, Health, and Sexuality (2014) 16:974.
Heiman, J. and J. LoPiccolo. Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women . Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1987 (revised edition).
Hurlbert, D.F. and C. Apt. “The Coital Alignment Technique and Directed Masturbation: A Comparative Study of Female Orgasm,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1995) 21:21.
Jern, P. et al. “A Longitudinal Assessment of Associations Between Women’s Tendency to Pretend Orgasm, Orgasm Function, and Intercourse-Related Pain in Different Partner Relationship Constellations,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2018) 47:671.
Kaplan, H.S. “Does the CAT Technique Enhance Female Orgasm?” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1992) 18:285.
McCoy, M.G. et al. “Development and Initial Psychometric Assessment of the ‘Reasons for Pretending Orgasm’ Inventory,” Evolutionary Psychology (2015) 13:129.
Muehlenhard, C.L and S.K. Shippee. “Men’s and Women’s Reports of Pretending Orgasm,” Journal of Sex Research (2010) 47:552.
Pierce, A.P. “The Coital Alignment Technique 9(AT): An Overview of Studies,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (2000) 26:257.
Michael Castleman, M.A. , is a San Francisco-based journalist. He has written about sexuality for 36 years.
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