Woman Like Sex

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"Skin on skin. Hands everywhere. Hot, slow kisses."
Welcome to The World of Sex, where multiple orgasms happen and exploring your kinks and fetishes is absolutely encouraged. This means, though, that just like Starbucks orders or favorite Bachelor contestants , everyone has different opinions and preferences when it comes to the best ways to get it on. And honestly, what women want in bed varies wildly from person to person. In other words, it isn’t a one size fits all kind of thing.
The reasoning is that there are actually tons of different types of sex out there. From vanilla to kinky , what sex means to one person probably means something totally different to another—and what “good” sex means varies even more. Some people prefer to stick with romantic kisses and cuddles, while others might like exploring all the shades of bondage toys and power dynamics .
But now is the perfect time to mention that sex isn’t actually defined as only vaginal penetration . Laurie Mint , PhD, Lelo sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate , previously told Cosmopolitan any act involving genital contact between consenting folks for the purpose of sexual pleasure = sex! Meaning things like masturbation , oral , anal , and even phone sex or sexting can all count.
On top of that, many vulva-havers actually need (and want!) a bit more than just thrusting when hooking up, since only 18 percent of cis-women can actually reach orgasm during penetrative sex alone .
So, if you’re trying to solve the mystery of what women want in bed or are just looking for a lil inspo, we've collected quotes from 20 women who explain *exactly* what they like during sex. And um, spoiler, none of them mention penetration. Happy humping!
"I love to feel as physically close as possible. Skin on skin. Hands everywhere. Hot, slow kisses. I want to feel like we are devouring each other. I especially love when my girlfriend kisses my neck and rubs her hands along the outline of my body."—Ali
"Lengthy foreplay please! Sex is always better (for both of us) when he takes the time to make out and get me really aroused beforehand."—Gillian
"I want to be treated really passionately and aggressively. Like, throw me against a wall and grab me forcefully à la Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams post-canoe ride in The Notebook ."—Madison
"I just want my man to tell me that I am a very bright, very special woman (like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman ). I feel like most guys aren't so great with the compliments, and after you're naked with someone, that's all you really want."—Christine
"I would love to be whisked away on a last-minute trip somewhere chic, have a lovely, innocent, romantic dinner . Then, on a walk back to our hotel, sneak off in an alley for an illicit, highly-charged tryst!"—Liz
"All I really want in bed right now is intimacy and trust. I want to be able to be fully vulnerable, and I feel like I can be that way most with my wife. Maybe that’s because I’m getting older or because the last year was so hard, but I need to feel like I’m in a safe place to fully relax and enjoy myself."—Shannon
"Totally cliche, but I would love to be wooed in my bedroom with tons of candles lit everywhere. I just think candlelight makes me look better (which makes me feel sexy) and I think it's uber romantic and sweet."—Elizabeth
"Get your fingers involved with the oral , people! It takes things to a whole new level."—Jill
"I secretly wish my fiancé would suck my toes and rub my arches during sex. The slightest touch to my feet when we are shifting positions drives me wild!"—Max
"I’m usually the 'top' or the initiator when I have sex, so it’s a big turn-on when my girlfriend literally just jumps on top of me and decides to take charge. It’s hot!"—Dalia
"The thing I die for is a sneak attack when I'm asleep, and I wake up to my man "doing things" to me. Kiss of the neck from the spooning position (as I sleep on my side) and then full-blown fun is the best."—Melissa (Note: Consent is key here!)
"I love when my man jerks off and teases me while I’m going down on him . More points if he slaps my face with it. And if I’m with a girl, I looove when she grabs me by my ass while I’m going down on her. The fact that she can bend like that and grab me hard drives me crazy!"—Katie
"Tell me to take my time. Some women worry that it takes them too long to orgasm and that can lead to totally not enjoying the experience. When your man says he's down for marathon sex, you stop worrying and enjoy it more."—Courtney
"Gotta say, I really like being picked up and carried to bed; it somehow manages to seem both romantic and manly at the same time."—Sarah
"If I'm being really honest, the one thing I HATE in the bedroom is soft, slow movements. Pull my hair! Spank me! Cover my moans with your hand! Anything not rough makes my skin crawl."—Rachel
"Set the mood— sexy music , pour us some drinks, touch my leg under the table at dinner. Just do something to change the mood from a normal one to a hot one."—Leah
"I like it when a dude kisses my butt. I mean literally, but figuratively is also nice."—Kaitlin
"I like a vocal guy—a little bit of dirty talk goes a long way."—Jess
"I like a guy to take all of his clothes off BEFORE we get in bed. Just seeing his excited penis turns me on."—Joanna
"I love when my man encourages me to bring my vibrator to bed with us. It's a really wonderful addition to a long-term relationship. After being together for a few years, things can get repetitive—spice it up with a toy !"—Maria

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You’ve heard it said: sex is like pizza—even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. But not all sex is created equal. That’s why the heroic folks at Skyn Condoms pulled off a massive study—The 2015 Millennial Sex Survey—to give you all the info you’ve always wondered about but never asked. We’ve covered the best time of the year to have sex , a woman’s most erotic body parts , and now you’ll finally know the answer to a much-asked question: What’s her favorite position?
Of the 2,827 women ages 18-34 surveyed, the clear winner is missionary with 30.90%. I know! We were shocked too. But hey, sometimes she just wants you on top . Following close, uh, behind was doggy style at 27.50%. Cowgirl claimed third place with 17.90%, while the rest peter out gradually, with “standing” being the lowest reported favorite position.
But there’s hope! When men were asked the same question, the results were surprisingly similar. Men’s top two favorite positions were the same as women: missionary and doggy—just not in that order. Men preferred doggy the best (34%) while missionary came in second (18%). So really, if you’re choosing between those two, you can’t go wrong.
(Oh, and if you’re wondering: “Jockey” is when the women lies on her stomach and the guy enters her from behind. You’re welcome.)

Originally Published: March 5, 2019
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What do women want in bed? It’s an important question to ask because it shows you want to increase your partner’s pleasure. It also acknowledges the fact that, for some, unsolicited volunteering of what she wants in the bedroom doesn’t always come naturally. True, some will let you know exactly what they like in bed , but others have a harder time expressing their needs, which can make the general idea of women wanting sex or the whole let-me-do-that-thing-you-love exchange a bit more difficult.
In some ways this is, if not natural, at least normal, considering what social scripts say about gender roles in the bedroom. Men traditionally took the lead when it comes to accessible sexual narratives (oh, hi, porn ). But that doesn’t change the fact that a woman in bed has a strong opinion about what she wants — and these things don’t always align with her partner’s.
In the absence of mind-reading, there are some universal things men can do to help please women in the bedroom. From improving communication, finding the right tempo, and incorporating sex toys , there are many areas in which you can do better. So what are the most pleasurable things to do to a woman? Here are five things women want in bed, according to sex experts.
A simple lack of communication in the bedroom can balloon into big-time problems. Sex may be a largely physical experience, but there’s an important verbal component that’s often overlooked. Actually sitting down and talking to your partner about what they like, what they dislike, and what they might be curious about can be a transformative experience. Of course, we know it’s not always easy to get that ball rolling , so maybe open a bottle of wine or take a couple of tokes off some legal cannabis before launching in. You might also turn on a show that you know has some steamy sex scenes. However you go about it, what’s important is that it demonstrates effort, intent, and a desire to please. “It’s important to make sex a priority,” Dr. Chris Donaghue , sex therapist and author of the book Rebel Love previously told Fatherly . “It’s important to articulate what you want to be working on.”
Monotony is a terrible thing to associate with sex. In fact, it’s often what people say drove them, in part, into affairs . “People in long-term marriages , or long-term partnerships, can sometimes become a little less curious about their partner. They can stop being adventurous, or stop growing in their erotic lives,” Dr. Tammy Nelson , sex therapist and author of the book When You’re the One Who Cheats previously told Fatherly . Fortunately, there are lots of ways to avoid falling into that trap. Role-play is a pretty popular bedroom stunt. Talking dirty is another one. And it doesn’t even have to get that involved. Mixing up the positions, even the places you have sex can help reignite diminishing bedroom flames. Remain cognizant of that fact, and take active steps to avoid falling into too much of a “routine.”
One of the most pleasurable things to do to a woman in bed might be to forget about your penis — at least for a bit. Studies have shown that generosity has a positive effect on marriage. Small gestures can go a long way in the context of a long-term relationship, and this certainly applies to the bedroom as well. Simply put, some selflessness in the bedroom can be a major turn-on for women wanting sex. Besides, research suggests that ladies are much more likely to orgasm when sex involves a variety of activities besides vaginal intercourse. Pay attention to what she wants and put effort into pleasing her. Digital stimulation (with trim fingernails, only), oral sex, and other kinds of sexual play are much more likely to deliver her an orgasm than straight ground-and-pound sex.
Experts estimate that it takes women around 20 minutes to become fully aroused. Men, meanwhile, can typically hit that mark in a fraction of the time. Of course, these estimates should be applied in general , as not everyone is going to abide by that specific timeline. But the point is, different individuals will gravitate toward different ways of initiating sex. The hard-and-fast approach might work for someone who is easily aroused, but it’s not going to work for everyone. Remember, that vaginal tissue is delicate, and can respond negatively to the aggressive touch when not fully lubricated. We get it. It’s hard to remain chill when dealing with a full-blown erection. But it’s important not to get too excited too fast, especially when getting handsy with your partner. Keep the conversation going throughout the sexual encounter. Keep tabs on what your woman likes, and ask before moving on to the next step.
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that using a vibrator can lead to multiple orgasms in almost half of all female users. The researchers also found that a majority of orgasms triggered by vibrator stimulation were more intense than those brought about the old-fashioned way. That’s a pretty solid sell on the vibrator jam, especially when you compare these findings to some other statistics floating around.
According to the book The Case of the Female Orgasm , penned by American philosopher of biology Elisabeth Lloyd, just 25 percent of women orgasm consistently during vaginal intercourse. Given what we know about mechanized stimulation, it seems as though throwing a vibrator into the mix during sex might help even the playing field. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen as often as it should. Women tend to worry about how partners will react to accessories in the bedroom. So, when you’re answering the question, “What do women want ?,” consider batteries and bring a sex toy into the experience. It will take the pressure off her and prove that you’ve dodged the toxic pit of male insecurity. Win-win.
This article was originally published on March 5, 2019

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What do women want? You’re going to have to ask them. That’s the conclusion of the largest study to analyse the diversity of female sexual pleasure, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy . The researchers aim to break down the ways in which women find pleasure, giving couples insight about how to boost their love life.
Debby Herbenick at Indiana University and her colleagues discovered that women’s preferences in the bedroom vary dramatically, but there are a few things that most tend to enjoy. A word of warning: this is going to get graphic.
The study asked 1,055 heterosexual women in the U.S. to answer a questionnaire that covered everything from sexual attitudes down to their preferred pattern of genital stimulation. The participants ranged from 18 to 94 years old.
Their answers were revealing: More than 36% of women reported needing clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, while less than a fifth reported that intercourse alone was sufficient. An additional 36% said that clitoral stimulation wasn’t necessary, but made for a better orgasm.
The majority of women said that some orgasms feel better than others, whereas 10.8% reckoned they all feel the same.
When asked about their ideal techniques, two thirds preferred direct clitoral stimulation. Of those that preferred indirect stimulation, the majority preferred touching "through the skin above the hood," while a smaller number preferred touching "through both lips pushed together (like a sandwich)." Fewer than 10% of women enjoyed stimulation to their mons pubis – the squishy area of tissue above the pubic bone. Around 5% preferred it when their partner avoided the clitoris altogether.
When the women were asked about what pattern of stimulation they enjoyed, most indicated that a repeated rhythmic motion was ideal. The least preferred pattern involved a partner putting extreme emphasis on one part of the motion – for instance, more pressure on the left side of the genitals.
That said, the results suggest that it's hard to go wrong in this department – 13 out of the 15 different patterns of stimulation given as options were endorsed by the majority of respondents.
Something else most women agreed on: light to medium pressure on the genitals is best. Only 1 in 10 said they preferred firm pressure during stimulation.
The results show – unsurprisingly – that there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to getting hot under the covers. The women in the study showed a wide variety of preferences as a group, yet on an individual level tended to endorse a narrow range of techniques that they specifically enjoyed. Which all just underscores the value of talking about sex with your partner.
There are a few things that will get you by in the meantime. More than half the women in the study said that spending time to build arousal, having a partner who knows what they like and emotional intimacy con
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