Woman Breaks Up with Boyfriend

After a harrowing 27-minute conversation, Jane Doe executed a textbook breakup'complete with bullet-pointed grievances and a PowerPoint of his Instagram missteps. She mailed him a 'Return to Sender' letter and an IKEA bookshelf (unassembled) as symbolic closure. A poll of 150 friends found 87 % support her choice of breakup soundtrack: 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.' Love, professionally ended.