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Read 10 of the Best Stories Ever Published in Playboy
From J.G. Ballard to Gabriel García Márquez to Bharati Mukherjee

Authors in the Tent: David L. Ulin on How Walking Is an Act of Recreation

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Hugh Hefner died this week at the age of 91, and if you didn’t already have an opinion about him, I’m sure you do now—there have already been countless remembrances and think-pieces, arguing variously for his virtues, his sins, his pajamas, and his impact on the American imagination. I’m not going to relitigate it all here, but suffice it to say that while Hefner was indeed a man who collected and commodified women and called it “feminism,” it doesn’t change the fact that the joke about reading Playboy for the articles isn’t really a joke. The magazine has published some fantastic interviews, essays, and—most importantly for our purposes here—fiction over the years, the latter thanks in part to expert fiction editor Alice K. Turner, who died in 2015 to rather less fanfare than Hefner is getting this week. (Robie Macauley gets credit too.)
Since its inception, Playboy has published work by Vladimir Nabokov, James Baldwin, Shirley Jackson, Nadine Gordimer, Doris Lessing, John Updike, John Cheever, P. G. Wodehouse, Arthur C. Clarke, John Irving, Roald Dahl, Frank Herbert, Stephen King, Norman Mailer, Joyce Carol Oates, Philip K. Dick, Ray Bradbury, Annie Proulx, and many other greats. Much of their work is available on the Playboy website now for online subscribers—but here are ten stories that originally appeared in the magazine that you can read for free right now, at your desk, with no fear of anyone accusing you of looking at the centerfold.
J.G. Ballard, “ Souvenir ” (originally “The Drowned Giant”) (May 1965)
“On the morning after the storm the body of a drowned giant was washed ashore on the beach five miles to the northwest of the city. The first news of its arrival was brought by a nearby farmer and subsequently confirmed by the local newspaper reporters and the police. Despite this the majority of people, myself among them, remained skeptical, but the return of more and more eyewitnesses attesting to the vast size of the giant was finally too much for our curiosity. The library where my colleagues and I were carrying out our research was almost deserted when we set off for the coast shortly after two o’clock, and throughout the day people continued to leave their offices and shops as accounts of the giant circulated around the city.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., “ Welcome to the Monkey House ” (January 1968)
“So Pete Crocker, the sheriff of Barnstable County, which was the whole of Cape Cod, came into the Federal Ethical Suicide Parlor in Hyannis one May afternoon—and he told the two six-foot Hostesses there that they weren’t to be alarmed, but that a notorious nothinghead named Billy the Poet was believed headed for the Cape.
A nothinghead was a person who refused to take his ethical birth-control pills three times a day. The penalty for that was $10,000 and ten years in jail.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, “ Nine Lives ” (November 1969)
“She was alive inside but dead outside, her face a black and dun net of wrinkles, tumors, cracks. She was bald and blind. The tremors that crossed Libra’s face were mere quiverings of corruption. Underneath, in the black corridors, the halls beneath the skin, there were crepitations in darkness, ferments, chemical nightmares that went on for centuries. “O the damned flatulent planet,” Pugh murmured as the dome shook and a boil burst a kilometer to the southwest, spraying silver pus across the sunset. The sun had been setting for the last two days. “I’ll be glad to see a human face.””
Gabriel García Márquez, “ The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World ,” trans. Gregory Rabassa (November 1971)
“The first children to see the obscure, stealthy promontory that approached in the ocean believed that it was an enemy ship. But then they saw that it carried neither flags nor spars, and they thought it was a whale. But when it ran aground on the beach they peeled off the thickets of seaweed, the jellyfish tentacles and the rest of the tattered cloth and driftwood it carried, and only then did they discover that it was a drowned man.”
Italo Calvino, “ The Burning of the Abominable House ” (Italian edition, 1973)
“In a few hours’ time Skiller, the insurance agent, will be coming to ask me for the computer results, and I still haven’t keyed in the orders to the electronic circuits which will have to grind to a fine dust of bits both Widow Roessler’s secrets and her hardly to be recommended boarding house. Where the house once stood, between railway lines and iron stockyards, on one of those humps of wasteland our city’s suburbs leave behind like heaps of dirt that have escaped the broom, nothing is left but charred rubble now. It could have been a smart villa originally, or it may have looked no better than a ghostly hovel: insurance company reports have nothing to say on the matter; and now it has burnt down, from eaves to cellar, and the incinerated corpses of its four inhabitants have left no clue that might serve to reconstruct the events that led up to this secluded slaughter.
Rather than the bodies, what does offer a clue is a copybook found in the ruins, entirely burnt except for its cover which was protected by a plastic folder. On the front it says: An Account of the Abominable Deeds Committed in this House and on the back there is an index with twelve entries in alphabetical order: Blackmail, Drugging, Incitement to Suicide, Knifing, Prostitution, Threatening with a Gun, Tying and Gagging, Rape, Seduction, Slander, Snooping, Strangling.”
Jorge Luis Borges, “ The Other ,” trans. Norman Thomas di Giovanni (May 1977)
“The incident occurred in February, 1969, in Cambridge, north of Boston. I didn’t write about it then because my foremost objective at the time was to put it out of my mind, so as not to go insane. Now, in 1972, it strikes methat if I do write about what happened, people will read it as a story and in time I, too, may be able to see it as one.I know that it was almost horrific while it lasted —and it grew worse yet through the sleepless nights that followed. That does not mean that anyone else will be stirred by my telling of it.”
Bharati Mukherjee, “ The Middleman ” (April 1986)
“There are only two seasons in this country, the dusty and the wet. I already know the dusty and I’ll get to know the wet. I’ve seen worse. I’ve seen Baghdad, Bombay, Queens—and now this moldering spread deep in Mayan country. Aztecs, Toltecs, mestizos, even some bashful whites with German accents. All that and a lot of Texans. I’ll learn the ropes.
Forget the extradition order, I’m not a sinful man. I’ve listened to bad advice. I’ve placed my faith in dubious associates. My first American wife said, in the dog-eat-dog, Alfred, you’re a beagle. My name is Alfie Judah, of the once-illustrious Smyrna, Aleppo, Baghdad—and now Flushing, Queens—Judahs.
David Foster Wallace, “ Late Night ” (later “My Appearance”) (1988)
“I am a woman who appeared in public on Late Night with David Letterman on March 22, 1989.
In the words of my husband, Rudy, I am a woman whose face and attitudes are known to something over half of the measurable population of the United States, whose name is on lips and covers and screens. Whose heart’s heart is invisible to the world and unapproachably hidden. Which is what Rudy thought could save me from all this appearance implied.”
Margaret Atwood, “The Bog Man” (January 1991) [not online, but couldn’t resist—find it in Wilderness Tips ]
“Julie broke up with Connor in the middle of a swamp.
Julie silently revises: not exactly in the middle, not knee-deep in rotting leaves and dubious brown water. More or less on the edge; sort of within striking distance. Well, in an inn, to be precise. Or not even an inn. A room in a pub. What was available.
And not in a swamp anyway. In a bog. Swamp is when the water goes in one end and out the other, bog is when it goes in and stays in. How many times did Connor have to explain the difference? Quite a few. But Julie prefers the sound of swamp . It is mistier, more haunted. Bog is a slang word for toilet, and when you hear bog you know the toilet will be a battered and smelly one, and that there will be no toilet paper.
So Julie always says: I broke up with Connor in the middle of a swamp. “
Haruki Murakami, “ The Second Bakery Attack ,” trans. Jay Rubin (January 1992)
“I’m still not sure I made the right choice when I told my wife about the bakery attack. But then, it might not have been a question of right and wrong. Which is to say that wrong choices can produce right results, and vice versa. I myself have adopted the position that, in fact, we never choose anything at all. Things happen. Or not.”
Bonus (because I cheated with Atwood): Robert Coover, “ The Invisible Man ” (January 2002)
“The Invisible Man gave up his life as a crime fighter, it was too hard and no one cared enough, and became a voyeur, a thief, a bugaboo, a prowler and pickpocket, a manipulator of events. It was more fun and people paid more attention to him. He began inhabiting horse tracks, women’s lockerrooms, extravagant festivities, bank vaults, public parks, schoolyards, and centers of power. He emptied tills, altered votes, made off with purses and address books, leaked secrets, started up fights in subway cars and boardrooms, took any empty seat he wanted on planes and trains, blew on the necks of naked women, moved pieces on gameboards and gambling tables, made strange noises in dark bedrooms, tripped up politicians and pop stars on stage and whispered perverse temptations in the ears of the pious.”
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Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
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Whenever a celebrity's cheating pics are plastered all over tabloids, the internet implodes . But for a private investigator, capturing an affair on tape is just part of a normal workday. And, unlike celebrities who can still afford expensive hotels and a degree of discretion, ordinary people have to get creative in keeping their extramarital hookups a secret, inevitably making for some juuuuicy stories.
So after years on the job, which incidents stand out the most to someone who's seen it all (or as close to all as possible)? Whitney Joy Smith, president of the Canadian-based Smith Investigation Agency , shares the seven most memorable affairs her team uncovered:
1. "This woman's husband said that he had suddenly found new friends. They’d all go to the gym, they all liked to be buff–that was his reasoning, even though his physique hadn't changed at all. So she called and we set up surveillance, but he was next-to-impossible to follow. He was so suspicious and drove weird routes, made abrupt turns, and so on.
We did notice one thing, however: The neighbor always left at the same time as the subject. When we asked the client if they had ever seemed flirtatious, she said yes. So we decided to follow the woman instead of the man. She was also suspicious and evasive when driving, but we came prepared with three investigators. After briefly losing her, we found her vehicle in an industrial location behind a gated area in a building that was closed for the evening.
Moments later, the subject's vehicle pulled into the same parking lot. I picked up the client in my car and we drove down to the location. We never bring clients with us–this was the first and last time [because] she would have likely shown up either way once she got the update. So at least her being in my vehicle made it safer for everyone.
As we were pulling in, she literally jumped out of my truck and hightailed it to the vehicle. She opened the back door and found him with his pants down and the woman undressed. She was hopping up and down, screaming, and she was trying to get at the neighbor, but the guy was standing in between them. He blocked the way so the woman could get to her car and we moved out of the way so she could leave safely.
[The couple] stayed together–I guess they tried to work it out and he stopped seeing the neighbor. She called some months later and wanted us to tap his phone to see if him and the woman were still speaking, but we don’t do that service.”
2. "One guy wanted us to follow his wife as she said she was going on a ladies' trip to a tropical island. She gave this grand story about all the things they were planning –it was some sort of bachelorette party with seven to ten women. The client knew the husband of one of the women, and had said, ‘Oh, must be fun, they’re going out of town,’ and the husband had no idea what he was talking about.
We followed her to the island, and the woman was partially telling the truth in that one female friend was there for three out of 14 days. As our investigator was in the lobby waiting for the friend to depart in a taxi, we saw the subject say goodbye to her friend. She then walked into the lobby, and the cabana boy walked up to her, picked her up, and they started kissing.
They certainly seemed comfortable with each other, it was all hugs and kisses–it wasn’t a first-time kind of thing. They spent the next week at a nearby hotel enjoying life, tanning, kissing and more by the pool. All the times the subject was sending pictures to her husband of her and her friend in different swimsuits to keep him in the dark, I was sending him the real images of her with the cabana boy.
From what we gathered after giving everything to the client, he looked through photos from previous times that she had been there and figured she had met him during one of those trips. [The client] was upset at first, but by that time, he had had a little time to let it sink in and settle. I think he knew it–it was just a matter of him being correct."
3. "This man and his wife had just had a baby only weeks before. The baby was crying a lot, so this guy’s excuse was he needed to clear his head. At first, she didn’t think much of it, but then she was like, 'What are you doing? You need to be helping me.' And he said he just had to go for a drive. So that’s when she hired us.
Normally, it takes a few days for us to find out what’s going on, but the first day we followed him, we tailed him to a popular university in Toronto. The subject picked up a young woman who was attending the university–he would’ve been somewhere in his mid-thirties and she would be anywhere from 18 to 22. They went to a nice restaurant where t hey held hands and kissed the entire time. Then after dinner, they went to the vehicle and, without tint on the car windows, began to fool around.
I don’t know if he and his wife stayed together–she was distraught when I told her what was going on, crying a lot on the phone, asking what she should do. Ultimately, we’re not there to give marital advice–we provided her with the evidence and I never heard back from her."
4. " A woman had gotten some sort of STI from her partner , and that was her cue that something was off. We followed the subject after he flew out of the province for business and tailed him to a hotel he was staying in.
We knew from the client that the subject was a heavy drinker and would most likely be in the bar area of the hotel. The investigator that happened to be on this file was a woman, and the subject, after hitting on several different women in the hotel, proceeded to hit on our investigator . After her multiple attempts to get him to move on, he left her a room key, just in case she changed her mind."
5. "This guy was in a long-distance relationship with a woman and thinking he wanted to get married. He had some money and didn’t want to go into a relationship where he could be taken advantage of.
We tailed her, and she would go shopping with a couple of girlfriends, or sometimes just one, and just hang out. But on one of the stakeouts, the subject and a man were at a local mall, where we were documenting them holding hands and kissing. While we went over the video to finalize the file for the client, we noticed that, while in the store, she was also stealing things from the cosmetics aisle and placing them in her backpack."
6. "We followed this woman looking to see what her activities were while her husband would travel for work–something just seemed off for him. She did a lot of shopping and spent time with girlfriends, but on two different occasions, we had seen this woman drive to multiple motels and hotels looking for a room. At first, the investigator wasn’t sure why she was bouncing around all these different places.
We later asked the hotels about what her inquiry was–and found out she felt the hourly rate for a room was too high. So, after going to approximately five different hotels, this woman stopped in a parking lot and jumped in the backseat with her lover–to them, I guess it just wasn’t worth the price for such a short amount of time."
7. "We were hired by a woman to find out if her husband was cheating. She had noticed some inconsistencies in his behavior in general–he said he was going to a sports bar to watch a hockey or football game, or he was working late or his car broke down. Even when she wanted to go away together for a long weekend, there was always some reason why he couldn’t.
After a few weeks of surveillance, we caught him spending time with another woman and had everything we needed to have more than enough proof of the affair. They ended up breaking up, but then, about six months later, we got a call from someone wanting surveillance. Sure enough, it was the same guy, and the woman he had the affair with now wanted to know if he was cheating on her. We didn’t end up taking the case, but she had given us the full rundown of the situation and from everything she explained, we knew it was the same man."
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