Wipe Your Ass With Sandpaper

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couldn’t hold it in no longer, gotta find the john
little did you know that everything would turn out wrong
just a little too late by the time you let it flow
staring wide eyed at the empty toilet paper roll
leaving unclean not an option, your biggest regret
now all you have is tp subst-tute 120 grit
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
fold it into shape, on your -ss it scr-pes
sandpaper is no good subst-tute for toilet papes
after this harsh wipe your b-tt is scratched and ripe
feeling like your underside is cut up with a knife
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
bl–dy stools, -n-l scabs
your underpants will never be the same
go!
(dope -ss blasting -ss guitar solo ensuing)
tenderize your -ss
the pain will surely p-ss
wishing that i only had a horrible case of gas
no if’s, and’s, or but’s
try not to scr-pe your nuts
walking like a penguin with your bl–dy -n-s cuts
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
bl–dy stools, -n-l scabs
your underpants will never be the same
cutting, gashing, wiping, shaving
grrrrr!
consider this a lesson for the next time you’re on the throne
sitting in the restroom in your stall and all alone
take a second glance
if you have the chance
if you don’t want to leave
with blood soaked in your pants
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
wipe your -ss with sandpaper
bl–dy stools, -n-l scabs
your underpants will never be the same

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