Wiki Oral Sex

Wiki Oral Sex
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↑ Jump up to: a b Janell L. Carroll (2009). Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity . Cengage Learning . pp. 265–267. ISBN 978-0-495-60274-3 . Retrieved 29 August 2013 .

↑ Wayne Weiten; Margaret A. Lloyd; Dana S. Dunn; Elizabeth Yost Hammer (2008). Psychology Applied to Modern Life: Adjustment in the 21st century . Cengage Learning. p. 422. ISBN 978-0-495-55339-7 . Retrieved 26 Februar 2011 .

Oral sex or oral intercoorse is sexual activity involvin the stimulation o the genitalia o a person bi anither person uisin the mooth (includin the lips, tongue or teeth) or throat . Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on a female, while fellatio is oral sex performed on a male. [1] [2] Anilingus , anither form o oral sex, is oral stimulation o a person's anus . [1]

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Talk broadly about your sexual desires and fantasies together. [1]
X
Expert Source

Nicole Moore Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.

This can be an awkward conversation to bring up, but it is also a light-hearted and fun conversation once you both agree not to judge each other. What fantasies or styles do you like? What silly but sexy ideas rev your engines? Do you share any? Remember, this isn't a deep, serious conversation, but it brings up the sort of conversational intimacy that can lead to discussion of oral sex:

Make lists of your top five dream places to have sex, even if some of them are unlikely or humorous. [2]
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Research source

Browse through a sex book or website like Kama Sutra, noting fun or adventurous positions to try.
Share any fantasies or secret desires together, asking hers as well. If you can find ways to make both of you happy, this conversation will get much easier. [3]
X
Expert Source

Nicole Moore Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.

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Slowly ramp up your sexual adventures if oral sex seems too far off. If you feel like oral sex is something you want, but it is maybe moving things too quickly, start with smaller adventures. Make a bigger deal of foreplay, which is a safe way to take small risks and learn more about each other. Try some dirty talk. Kiss all over each other's bodies, getting comfortable with every inch of each other. As these thresholds are crossed, oral sex will become less of a big topic and more of a natural next step.

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Check in about your sex lives regularly. If you're in a committed relationship you can't have one talk about sex and then never bring it up again. Why would you?! Whether the conversation is about oral sex or not, checking in with each other about your sex life is important to grow and build a relationship together. Moreover, it makes it far easier to broach the topic of oral sex when you have a history of open and honest sexual discussions.

Once you're comfortable together, are there new things you want to try (oral sex or otherwise)? Ask her the same question.
When sex comes up, don't shy away from it. "What do you think about our sex life these days," is a good, open-ended way to start talking. [4]
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State your desires in plain, open terms. Once you're talking about sex, don't try to beat around the bush or subtly get her to bring up oral sex. You need to be upfront if you expect her to be the same. Remember that your sex life is shared, not yours alone, and to make this about both of you, not just her.

"I'd like to find ways to bring more oral sex into our lives."
"I think the two of us should start exploring oral sex, if we're both comfortable."
"I really enjoy going down on each other, and I'd like to try and make it a more important part of our sex life."

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Listen to her opinions without comment, giving her the floor. Listen, even if it's not what you want to hear. Genuinely listen to you partner expressing her thoughts and concerns. She may or may not have much to say, and what she says might not be to your liking. You have addressed your desires, and even if she says no, she's aware of what you'd like. It will stay in her head, and if you're nothing but supportive, respectful, and understanding then she may feel more confident and trusting once she's had a chance to think about it on her own terms.
Remember, all you can do is say your desires -- be honest about your own desires and she will be about hers.

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Remember that your sex life is shared, not some bargaining chip. Comments or ideas like "I'll do the dishes for a week if you go down on me" aren't going to build the trust and love needed for a happy sex life. The things that go on in the bedroom are communal, not services that she gives you for a job well done, no matter what that job is. If you want her to feel valued and comfortable (and thus more likely to find common ground), don't treat this like a transaction -- treat it like a conversation.

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Consider why your wife or girlfriend might be put off by oral sex. Oral sex can be scary for some woman. Some women can easily feel as if their air supply is compromised and like they may gag and choke. She's putting herself in a vulnerable position and it's important that you understand this. Some women fear hurting their partner or just getting it wrong. Without complete sexual trust, these activities could result in her feeling a great deal of anxiety, helplessness, and discomfort. If you dismiss her concerns and only focus on your desires, you're not putting her at ease.
Ask her why she dislikes or feels uncomfortable about oral sex and be ready for the answer. Remember that there are likely sexual acts that you, too, are uncomfortable with.

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Ask her how you can make the experience more pleasant or comfortable for her. [5]
X
Expert Source

Nicole Moore Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.

There are a lot of ways you can make things better for both of you. Maybe she'd like a little more grooming or manscaping or would prefer if you both showered together beforehand to clean up. Maybe she's wanted to talk about oral sex as well, and would like you to also consider going down on her. Whatever her reasons or ideas, you don't know until you ask.
Do you like to initiate sex, then move on to something else? Oral sex is an intimate act, and is more likely if you value and set aside time for your sex life. [6]
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Recognize that oral sex is not a one-way street. Guys can go down on girls as well, and if you want to bring oral sex into your relationship, you need to be comfortable performing oral sex as well. This is a great way to not only put her at ease, but slowly incorporate new things into your shared sex life without making her initiate everything.
Never use oral sex as a passive aggressive bargaining chip -- "I did it, now you should too." Not only is this disrespectful it has no chance of putting her at ease and making oral sex a permanent part of your relationship.

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Try to keep sex fun and light instead of serious and strict. Ignore the movies, which portray sex as a deeply serious act of soul-wrenching power. More often than not, especially in committed relationships, sex is a fluid, often-awkward, and always fun activity that only you two share. Having a light-hearted attitude may seem like useless advice, but people are way more willing to try something new when they can laugh off any initial issues or awkwardness

If you like something in the moment, let her know! This is the best way to build comfort, trust, and a great
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