Wifey World

Wifey World

By Ed Hammerman ,
February 9, 2014 at 12:02 am

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It's like the couch potato version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
OMG ! IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED, WIFEY HAS GONE OFF THE DEEP END.
Those of you who know Wifey are aware of her many fine talents. You may be surprised to know that among these, some talents are actually missing.
So, you can’t imagine how thrilled I was that after ten years of marriage, Wifey has developed a new skill (or at least I hope she will – not that, you dirty old men reading this).
We have guests visiting us from Chicago, and they were horrified to learn Wifey couldn’t perform one of the most important household tasks. Our guests arrived and wanted to hang-up their better clothing and be rid of the wrinkles which occur during air travel.
The lady guest asked, “Where’s your iron?”
Wifey said: What’s an iron? I don’t have one.”
No steam iron, no dry iron, no electric iron.
Can you imagine my handkerchiefs are just folded and not ironed!
Oh, how I’ve suffered these last few years.
What about my shirts, which often can use a touch-up after washing? Wrinkle free isn’t always wrinkle free. Shirts sometimes can use a touch up.
So, after dinner with our friends in tow, we went to Wal-Mart. Yes, Wal-Mart. (What can I say?)
Believe it or not there are Wal-Marts in Scottsdale. That’s plural, but alas of all the times we’ve been in a Wal-Mart in Arizona, we’ve never seen a true WalMartian!
So we were at Wal-Mart and now are proud owners of a Black & Decker power steam iron and ironing board. Our guests promise to give Wifey actual lessons on how to fill the iron with water, how to put the board on the counter, and then how to use the damn thing.
I know ironing is a basic housekeeping skill, however, it’s not one with which Wifey is familiar.
When we met, her resume’ was somewhat incomplete. And I really didn’t know the questions to ask regarding her curriculum vitae. Ok, I should have read the particulars more closely.
There are no words in our Ketubah (Jewish marriage contract) (as if I actually can read any of them!) regarding basic household chores.
Wifey was ecstatic when she learned that a fast one had been pulled on me. She could cook and clean with the very best. And no one does laundry better…..
Lessons begin tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted on their progress.
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Originally from Dayton, Ohio; graduated from Ohio State University in 1961, moved to Chicago to work advertising; married in 1966, two wonderful children - Deborah and Joel; opened my own ad agency in 1985 - Hammerman & Morse; unfortunately lost wife Doris to cancer in 1998; married Wifey in 2005, moved to Northbrook, IL. Started blog in May, 2009 at Wifey's suggestion

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Buyer backs out after $2.2M Paradise Valley home's porn past exposed
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| The Republic | azcentral.com
Arizona made national news after a couple rescinded their offer on a Paradise Valley home because they learned it was used to film porn. So what are the laws on porn in Arizona?

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Linda Fein was in the process of negotiating a deal on a gorgeous contemporary-style home in Paradise Valley when she and her husband made a startling discovery.
The home, in the Paradise Hills community, had been used as the set of pornographic website Wifey's World, run by married couple Kevin and Sandra Otterson. The couple, according to property records, owns the house.
Fein said she made the discovery after the agent mentioned that the sellers were in the entertainment industry.
Fein, who was in the process of making a $1.8 million offer on the home, said she was shocked that the use of the home was not disclosed to her and her husband.
“At that price point, I figured there might be some courtesy to the buyer,” Fein said. "I just can't make Thanksgiving dinner on counters where a porn star has been lounging around."
The Ottersons, known as "Hubby" and "Wifey" to their fans, have run the site since 1998. The couple's brand account has nearly 367,000 followers on Twitter. Photos on their website clearly show rooms in the house as a backdrop.
An email to the listing agent asking to speak to the couple went unanswered. According to its $2.2 million Redfin listing, the 4,172-square-foot updated midcentury modern house has four bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, a custom bar and views of Mummy and Camelback mountains.
There is no statute that specifically lists filming of pornographic material as a disclosure item in a home sale, according to Louis Dettorre at the Arizona Department of Real Estate.
Other items that are not required to be disclosed in Arizona when selling a home are detailed in state statute :
"I certainly believe there are people out there who wouldn’t care about the house being used for those purposes," said Fein. “I’m just not one of them.”
The Ottersons faced community backlash in 2006, when they purchased land to build a new home in Scottsdale's Ancala community.
At the time, Scottsdale maintained that it was legal for the Ottersons to operate their business inside their home.
Editor's note: This story has been updated since it first published.

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