Wifes Naked
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Wifes Naked
She pounced on her younger rival before slashing her hair with a razor and tearing off her clothes
A FURIOUS wife frogmarches her love rival NAKED through the streets after catching her in bed with her cheating hubby.
The jilted woman followed her sneaky partner to a friend's apartment then burst in as he romped with the younger brunette .
She then pounced on the defenceless girl before slashing her hair with a RAZOR and tearing off her clothes.
The scorned woman then drags the 20-year-old by the head into the street outside while her two teenage sons howl to attract attention.
Shockingly, the family then BOASTED about the attack online sparking dozens of complaints to police and an investigation to find the victim.
The seething wife wrote on social media: ''I do not give a damn what they think or stop thinking.
''I'll show you how you deal with the traitors of a married man . I just got this sl*t with my husband, ex-husband from today.''
The injured woman was picked up by the sheepish husband - afraid to step in on his wife's relentless attack - who helped his lover find her clothes.
Police in Sao Paulo, Brazil, initially launched an investigation to find the victim but she later visited a local station to make a statement.
She told officers that the man had claimed to be single and they had been together for five months.
The attacker was arrested by Civil Police officers and now faces up to ten years in jail.
She faces charges of suspicion of threat, bodily injury, injury, defamation, crime of intolerance, violence against women and torture.
A spokesman at the regional police station in Cubatao said the alleged attacked had been questioned.
They said the case is now being investigated at the police headquarters of Cubatao.
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By Peter Larsen | plarsen@scng.com | Orange County Register
PUBLISHED: October 2, 2019 at 7:37 a.m. | UPDATED: October 2, 2019 at 7:37 a.m.
Peter Larsen has been the Pop Culture Reporter for the Orange County Register since 2004, finally achieving the neat trick of getting paid to report and write about the stuff he's obsessed about pretty much all his life. He regularly covers the Oscars and the Emmys, goes to Comic-Con and Coachella, reviews pop music, and conducts interviews with authors and actors, musicians and directors, a little of this and a whole lot of that. He grew up, in order, in California, Arkansas, Kentucky and Oregon. Graduated from Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Ore. with degrees in English and Communications. Earned a master's degree at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. Earned his first newspaper paycheck at the Belleville (Ill.) News-Democrat, fled the Midwest for Los Angeles Daily News and finally ended up at the Orange County Register. He's taught one or two classes a semester in the journalism and mass communications department at Cal State Long Beach since 2006. Somehow managed to get a lovely lady to marry him, and with her have two daughters. And a dog named Buddy. Never forget the dog.
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Most weeks I watch “The Real Housewives of Orange County” and feel sorry for the person who has to bleep out all the words that are still too bad for the tender ears of basic cable viewers.
This week, though, it’s the human who blurs out their naughty bits who deserves the hazardous duty pay.
We’ll get to that in a minute, but let’s start where we left off a week ago and Kelly Dodd walking out on Vicki Gunvalson after Vicki showed up at an Arizona wellness resort.
Out of nowhere, Vicki makes a hard-to-believe claim that Kelly is not allowed onto the grounds of her own daughter’s school, though when pressed whether that’s true by Tamra Judge and Emily Simpson Vicki admits that’s this gossip is something she heard from a stranger in the chair next to her at her hair salon a year earlier. So, yeah, we don’t believe it.
Because this is like Freaky Friday where middle-aged adults handle this kind of thing like seventh-graders, Emily marches back to the villa she’s sharing with Kelly and spills the tea, which sets Kelly off all over again. She calls Tamra to vent.
“She’s a (bleepin’ bleep) liar!” Kelly shouts loudly enough that even if Tamra’s phone wasn’t speaker Vicki could probably have heard it.
When the call is over, Vicki demonstrates her ability to twist logic like an Escher staircase, blaming Emily for the whole contretemps because she went and told Kelly what Vicki had said about the alleged – and clearly bogus – schoolyard ban.
“That’s repeating a rumor,” Vicki says with a sanctimonious straight face and absolutely no sense of irony. “I wouldn’t go and repeat something.”
We’re at an impasse now, so it must be time for a beekeeping expedition! Shannon Storms Beador has thoughtfully paid someone to make leggings out of fabric on which is printed the smiling, disembodied faces of all the housewives. (Shannon, if you’re reading this, it’s my birthday on Saturday, and my inseam is 36 inches.)
“We are a group of friends,” Shannon says. “If you’re having a fight with somebody on the pants, get over it, put on the leggings.” If only Neville Chamberlain had given Adolf Hitler a his-and-his pair of face-leggings instead of Czechoslovakia.
Kelly doesn’t want anyone’s face on her legs so she gets buck naked in the jacuzzi and Facetimes her middle-school daughter for some emotional support. As one does. When Kelly tells Jolie, she’s skinny-dipping (you know, for the TV cameras) the kid speaks for many: “That’s gross.”
Meanwhile, Shannon is all giggly girlishness around Noel the Hot Beekeeper — her assessment, not mine — so Tamra decides to ask him if he’s single and tell him her friend Shannon likes him. If she had passed him a note that asked him to check yes or no to whether he liked Shannon back, it could not have been more grade school-y.
The highlight of the visit to the Arizona hives is Noel explaining in graphic detail the sex life of the queen bee and the drones who serve her: “The queen rips it right out and he hurtles to his death, hopefully satisfied,” he tells them.
“So he (makes sweet love) and dies,” Tamra helpfully paraphrases.
That night there are cooking lessons in the resort restaurant, though before that they find vodka and tequila stations and a bartending teacher there to teach them how to make the resort’s signature cocktail. When it’s time to shake the shakers, Kelly deftly flips hers top over bottom to the amazement of her fellow wives.
“Who said ASU is a bad school?” she says in a camera confessional. “I got my master’s in partying.”
Gabe the Chef shows up to teach them “knife skills” – though we’re pretty sure they’re expert at stabbing each other in the back. Emily isn’t so sure this is a good idea.
“I’m an attorney,” she says. “My advice to the chef would be not to mix knives with alcohol with these women. You probably shouldn’t provide knives to a bunch of (bleep) crazy (bleeps).”
Kelly had promised Braunwyn and Emily she’d try to just to smile and nod instead of flipping off Vicki during dinner. Once they’re seated, however, emotions are sliced and diced like the avocado and papaya they’d skillfully knifed for their salads moments earlier.
Kelly mentions how she had recently spray painted a pig face and Vicki’s name on the hood of a car that she then smashed up with the bucket on a backhoe — I’m not making this up, there’s video proof — and Vicki glowers. But then Kelly crumbles with a vulnerability we’ve seldom before seen.
“I think you’re pretty,” she tells Vicki by way of apology.
“I think you’re pretty too,” Vicki replies.
Kelly tells her she’s been so hurt by the things Vicki has said about her going back to the reunion show for the last season, and it’s raw stuff. She’s a blubbering mess and Vicki and the others are tearing up too.
“I only called you a pig because Slade (former housewife Gretchen Rossi’s husband) did and I knew it would hurt your feelings, but I didn’t think that,” Kelly says.
“I think you guys love each other,” Gina offers.
“I surrender,” Vicki says, and gets up to go hug Kelly.
“Hell has frozen over!” Tamra declares, and then moments later: “Let’s go get naked!”
Back at the villas Tamra, who is always the nudest of the housewives, jump in the pool with Braunwyn who for the moment is in her lingerie. Vicki and Shannon are having none of this funny business. “Tamra, you need to stop that!” Vicki scolds. “You’re a grandmother and a mother, you need to stop that!”
Tamra and Braunwyn eventually migrate to the hot tub, with Braunwyn losing her top along the way, where Gina, modestly dressed in a red bikini, is agape at their immodesty. “What is happening?” she says. “The rooms are four feet away, why not go put on an appropriate bathing suit?”
But if Gina thought that was shocking what must she have thought when Braunwyn revealed the bedroom fantasy she provides as a gift for her husband on his significant birthdays. Hint: she says she totally would not mind inviting Tamra to the celebration.
In a hurry? Here’s the episode in emojis (with 5 being the top score):
Seldom have we seen such a snot-flowing sob session as that which Kelly unleashes when she finally lets herself be honest about how hurt she’s been by Vicki’s trash talking.
Bartending classes, yes, but not a whole lot of sloppy drinking this time around.
As Kelly gets more and more wound up about Vicki, the bad words fly. Now that they’re supposed to be friends again will she mind her F’s and B’s?
Mother of seven Braunwyn, in a discussion more suitable for a parenting class, announced at dinner she’d been lactating for 19 years. Not content to simply share the wonders of the human body, she then went full Real Housewife and let Kelly prove her claim at the dinner table. The shocked grimace on Tamra’s face is all of us.
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By Peter Larsen | plarsen@scng.com | Orange County Register
PUBLISHED: October 2, 2019 at 7:37 a.m. | UPDATED: October 2, 2019 at 7:37 a.m.
Peter Larsen has been the Pop Culture Reporter for the Orange County Register since 2004, finally achieving the neat trick of getting paid to report and write about the stuff he's obsessed about pretty much all his life. He regularly covers the Oscars and the Emmys, goes to Comic-Con and Coachella, reviews pop music, and conducts interviews with authors and actors, musicians and directors, a little of this and a whole lot of that. He grew up, in order, in California, Arkansas, Kentucky and Oregon. Graduated from Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Ore. with degrees in English and Communications. Earned a master's degree at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. Earned his first newspaper paycheck at the Belleville (Ill.) News-Democrat, fled the Midwest for Los Angeles Daily News and finally ended up at the Orange County Register. He's taught one or two classes a semester in the journalism and mass communications department at Cal State Long Beach since 2006. Somehow managed to get a lovely lady to marry him, and with her have two daughters. And a dog named Buddy. Never forget the dog.
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