Wifes Facial

Wifes Facial
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Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now.I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even have time to get dressed.In our house she dared to do such a disgusting thing.I demanded an explanation straight away and to be honest I don't even know how I found it within me not to beat her up in my anger but anyway she said out of boredom.I love her so I don't want to divorce her but I can't get over this moreover I can't be sure she won't do it again.Maybe part of it is my fault because I have been neglecting our sex life lately but that is not the right way to go about it.She cried a lot,I cried too,it was tough but at the end of the day i love her

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8 Answers - ( Newest, 29 January 2016)

Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
He Wants to Jizz on Your Face, but Not Why You Think
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"Facials are degrading — and that's why they're so hot." So says America's leading sex columnist Dan Savage about the act of ejaculating semen on to someone's face. But the appeal of the facial can't be summed up with that single term. Rather, this act that's become the standard coda in porn is about much more than the longing to dominate or humiliate a sex partner. Understanding what makes it such a ubiquitous trope in adult movies (and in people's private sexual lives) means understanding a particularly male longing for acceptance.
Anti-pornography activists like Gail Dines and Robert Jensen agree with at least Savage's first three words; in recent works, both have cited the growing popularity of the "facial" as proof of the misogyny of mainstream pornography. On the other end of the ideological spectrum, sex-positive feminist Clarisse Thorn wrote for Jezebel in May that "facials feel really degrading to me." Despite their divergent politics, Savage, Dines, Jensen and Thorn all use the same word — "degrading" –- for facials, providing a strikingly rare example of consensus in contemporary sex writing.
The facial has a relatively recent history. In an interview, sex educator Charlie Glickman told me that early stag movies never showed ejaculation; if men ejaculated at all, they did so inside women's bodies. (It's remarkable that the porn that still features ejaculation in the vagina is now a relatively small niche known as "creampie.") That changed in the 1970s, when porn movies became longer, scripted features with bigger budgets. Since there would be more than one sex romp in the film, external ejaculation was the mark that a specific scene had ended. Porn historian Linda Williams compares this to the way that songs were spaced out in Hollywood musicals, with kitschy dialogue in between the showcase numbers that were the centerpieces of the films. But in the ‘70s and ‘80s, most of these ejaculations were onto backs, butts, or breasts — hardly ever onto faces.
Glickman suggests that the AIDS crisis and the concern with safer sex was what made the facial popular. "Cum on me, not in me" was a popular sex educator slogan as far back as the late 1980s. Ejaculating on a woman's stomach, however, usually meant that the camera wouldn't let the audience see the actress' expression. But if the male actor came on her face, the viewer could see two things at once: evidence of male pleasure (symbolized by the ejaculation) and the equally important sign that a woman's reaction to that pleasure mattered. With sex now so dangerous — and HIV particularly likely to be spread through semen — facials were relatively "safe." But in the era of AIDS, they were also compelling visual evidence that a woman wasn't threatened by a man's semen. In that sense facials were, almost from the start, more about women's acceptance of men's bodies than about women's degradation.
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The sheer amount of porn featuring facial cumshots is so vast that it's impossible to imagine an exhaustive analysis of all of it. But two things seem clear. First, as Megan Andelloux (founder and director of Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health ) noted in an interview with me, questions from college students about facials have risen dramatically in recent years. This isn't something people are just watching porn stars do; it's something a lot of young men (and some young women) want to try themselves. Second, as Glickman — a former adult film reviewer —pointed out, a lot more straight porn features women happily accepting facials than reacting with disgust and evident humiliation. That acceptance may be feigned, but it suggests that the primary turn-on about facials for men isn't the desire to degrade women. (Glickman further suggested that the fact that facials are also so common in gay male pornography – where the sexual politics are radically different – argues against the assumption that coming on someone's face is rooted in men's misogyny.)
A few years ago, in a humanities course on the body, my class was discussing one of the most famous selections from the now-iconic Vagina Monologues , "Because He Liked to Look at It". The monologue tells the story of a woman who thought her vagina was "incredibly ugly" until she meets a man named Bob, who loves to stare at —and taste — her vulva with delight and wonder. Bob's embrace of her body is the key to her self-acceptance. During our discussion of the monologue, a male student noted bravely that he thought many men felt the same way about their penises. Perhaps, he suggested, the intense appeal of facials in porn (and real life) was about men's desire for that same experience of being validated as desirable, as good, as "not dirty." For a young man raised with the sense that his body – and especially his penis – is "disgusting", a woman's willingness to accept a facial is an intensely powerful source of affirmation.
In my conversations with Glickman and Andelloux, I shared this anecdote. Both agreed that rather than seeing the facial as rooted in the impulse to denigrate, it might indeed be better to view it as longing for approval. Andelloux pointed out that in her experience, many women (often with good reason) have a difficult time believing that degradation isn't at the root of straight men's fascination with facials. In any case, humiliation and affirmation aren't incompatible reactions to the same act; a feeling of indignity when your partner ejaculates on your face isn't contingent on his intending to demean you. No one should be obligated to endure humiliation for the sake of someone else's longing for validation.
At the same time (as perhaps with anal sex), many people struggle to believe that receiving a facial is something a woman could enjoy. Andelloux told me a story about a seminar she ran recently on a college campus during which a young woman shared that she experienced her first orgasm when her boyfriend came on her face. "Nothing else that was said that day shocked the audience so much. I could tell a lot of people didn't believe her. But I did." Andelloux remarked that some other women reacted with hostility, "as if by admitting a liking for facials, she was committing an act of violence against other women." In the era of porn wars, perhaps not even anal sex is as politicized as the question of where the ejaculate lands.
That classroom discussion about facials and the Vagina Monologues had an unforgettable finish. A female student turned to the guy who'd brought up the topic of semen and validation and asked him, "So you're saying that when a man comes on a woman's face, it's not about making her dirty — it's about making him feel clean?" The young man blushed, the class tittered. "Yes," he said, "that's it. And that's what makes it so hot."
Hugo Schwyzer is a professor of gender studies and history at Pasadena City College and a nationally-known speaker on sex, relationships, and masculinity. You can see more of his work at his eponymous site .

Is it alright to ejaculate on my wife? Apr 19, 2016 by Jay Dee in Physical Intimacy
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I received this anonymous question last night through our Have A Question page. I have more than have been there longer, and I intend to answer them, but today I don’t have much time, so I picked it because I thought it would be short. Plus,
I received this anonymous question last night through our Have A Question page. I have more than have been there longer, and I intend to answer them, but today I don’t have much time, so I picked it because I thought it would be short. Plus, I get this question a lot, in various forms. People ask if they can ejaculate on their wife’s stomach, legs, butt, breasts, or face. I don’t think the location matters, with a caveat I’ll share below. So, here’s the question:
Is it alright to ejaculate on my wife? Kind of a tough one to find a verse on.
Yeah, there are no verses on this topic, what-so-ever.
Now, some may argue (I think errently), that Genesis 38:9-10 , regarding Onan applies:
But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother’s wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord ; therefore He killed him also. – Genesis 38:9-10
However, this is deal with Onan running from his responsibility to provide an heir for his brother’s line, not because he “pulled out”. So, I’m going to disregard that verse in reference to this question, and suggest you do the same.
Myself, I see nothing wrong with ejaculating on your wife. In fact, it can be beneficial in some circumstances.
For those who are recovering from a porn/masturbation addiction, I often suggest this simple rule:
And some of my coaching clients have gone “eww…” at the thought, but it works. In short, the husband is not allowed to ejaculate anywhere except in, or on, his wife. Why? Because it removes the ability to orgasm alone and so it removes the ability for the husband to have a sexual life apart from his wife. But, it still allows for mutual masturbation , and that can be very helpful for many husbands who are struggling to remove themselves from porn. Sometimes husbands find they can’t have sex any more because they’re so used to porn. Their brain doesn’t associate their wife with enough sexual stimulation to get erect, let alone orgasm, and so mutual masturbation forms a bridge to retrain the husband to have a sexual relationship with his wife again, and ejaculating on his wife further helps that connection. It insures there are very close when he orgasms, which helps when oxytocin is released and imprints that connection in his mind.
Many couples choose to refrain from sex during “that time of the month”. But, that doesn’t mean have to refrain from all sexual activity. Again, you can use mutual masturbation to stay connected, and well, that’s more fun when you’re closer together, and worrying about where you can ejaculate would put a damper on things.
While the stereotype is that men only take a few short minutes to orgasm, the truth is that some take considerably longer. And while there may be some wives thinking “that would be amazing!” It’s less amazing if they struggle from delayed ejaculation . Especially when they run out of energy before they can reach the point of orgasm.
Then, the decision becomes again, mutual masturbation, or give up.
If the wife has a gynecologist appointment in the morning, but you still want to have sex…she may prefer you ejaculate on her instead of in her. Do I need to explain that one?
And there may be more. Some wives like being able to feel it, and not all can feel ejaculation internally. Some like to see it (yes, some women are visual as well). Some just don’t want to walk around all day feeling like they’re “leaking”. So, there are lot of times where ejaculating on your wife may be beneficial.
So far as I know, provided you have no STDs (or STIs as they’re now called), then there are no reasons I can think of, medically, biblically, spiritually or relationally where this could be harmful. With one exception:
If your wife finds it degrading or gross, don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, it doesn’t matter if there’s nothing morally wrong with it. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s erotic. You will damage your relationship, and that’s not worth it. If you are that wife, I’d suggest exploring why you feel that way, because it’s likely limiting your sexual enjoyment to have this mindset, but husbands: don’t push your wife into this. That would be utterly selfish and you will show her you love yourself more than your wife.
So, there you go. I hope that answers the question.
Here are the final results of the oral sex survey I eluded to in my post Is it okay NOT to swallow. If you don't want to read through all the stats, you can jump to my summary at the bottom. Total Respondents 136 (52 women, 84 men) Data for…
I'm guessing that this is the most controversial survey we have done to date. What makes me say that? Well, first off, we had the lowest number of respondents in a long time. Secondly...people told us that it was. In fact, one of the comments we received in the survey was this:…
For most of our marriage, oral sex has been very one sided. For the first years, it was solely me performing oral sex on my wife, and never the other way around. It took her years to get accustomed to the idea, actually it's a fairly recent development. All of…
We’ve tried finishing on her body and we don’t enjoy it nearly as much as ejaculating inside her. To each their own.
I enjoy doing this and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. the issue arrives when your wife could really care less about sex. Then you really don’t get to ejaculate anywhere except by yourself in the shower.
I would think that would just enable your wife to think that she can keep refusing. “Oh well, he can take care of himself”.
Well she has never really refused me in the 28 years we’ve been married. That’s what she hangs her hat on, the problem is it’s sometimes she was any less involved I would mistake her for a blow up doll. She readily admits that her Catholic upbringing creates issues. I am very attentive and she has an orgasm probably 70% of the time we engage in sex. But if I don’t push it we can go months. I asked her the other day in a text if should would be willing to give me a hand job, her only response was that was kind of crude and could I rephrase that
Keep in mind that some women are more demure than others. Some women need to be still and really concentrate to achieve orgasm. I would LOVE to orgasm while Hollywood-style making out during sex with hubby, but I can’t. In order to have an O, I have to be still and close my eyes and focus.
I wish hubby would make more noise when he O’s. Sometimes I can’t even tell.
BUT, we need to work with what we have. There is no advancement, no baby steps, no enjoyment in just giving up because people aren’t how we want them to be. Work with what you’ve got. Cast off expectations and lies from Hollywood and porn. Appreciate your wife’s sexuality. How can you expect her to open up more if she can sense your displeasure.
There are many things I wish my hubby would do more sexually, but he won’t, and it is stretching me to explore my own sexuality within the boundaries of hubby’s sexual playground.
A woman I can understand, yeah my husband is pretty straight-laced, we’ve been through a dry patch and I’ve had to put my foot down on the matter so he’s finally trying to sort out what’s going on in him why he doesn’t do anything intimate any more. Thankfully porn is NOT an issue, I just think he has a low sex drive but I agree that women can sense what a man is feeling whether he is having sex for the heck of it or if he’s enjoying and fully releasing himself in a spiritual sense. I also agree with you that Hollywood tells a lot of lies about sex especially in regards to spontaneity -often it’s not like that especially in a marriage. I am going to try working with us having scheduled sex and seeing if that will work so rather than hoping the mood will strike we will make time for it meaning we have to think about it and each other and both bring something to the table. Like you say giving up doesn’t help anyone, I hope that your husband makes baby steps for your sake. Great comment. xx
I am not bothered if my husband wants to do that but often he doesn’t. My only thing is not on my face or in my mouth and he wouldn’t as we both see that as degrading so he’ll end oral sex quicker to avoid the possibility but he seems to just find it more satisfying finishing inside and it seems that most men do as well. I think the whole “ejaculate on her” thing stems from porn, not something men generally seem to enjoy as much as is made out.
Wish there was a way to “like” comments. I agree with yours Jay and the first one.
Possibly. Porn is about things being more visible and alternative to the basics of huma
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