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Denver, CO
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Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
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Trending Topics
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Neuroscience
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted October 20, 2016
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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
In the 21st century, with our increasingly digital lives, the once-clear line between monogamy and sexual or romantic infidelity has become rather blurry. As a psychotherapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues, I regularly see couples in conflict about what does and does not constitute cheating. One partner has done something he or she thinks is perfectly normal and within the bounds of marital bliss, but the other partner feels deeply betrayed by the act, which results in profound emotional pain, sporadic rancor—sometimes simmering, sometimes explosive—and the loss of relationship trust and emotional intimacy. And until fidelity and relationship boundaries are adequately defined, the couple’s issues have no chance to abate.
None of these individuals has had an in-the-flesh sexual encounter outside of their primary relationship, and yet all four have been accused of infidelity by their spouse. These scenarios beg the question: Is in-person contact required for infidelity, or does online activity count as a betrayal?
A few years ago, in an attempt to answer this question, Jennifer Schneider , Charles Samenow , and I conducted a survey of women whose husbands were engaging in significant amounts of extramarital sexual activity, either online or in the real world. Our research found that when it comes to the negative impact of sex and romance outside the bounds of a supposedly monogamous relationship, tech-based, and real-world interactions are no different : The emotional pain, the sense of betrayal, and the loss of relationship trust feel exactly the same to the aggrieved partner.
Based on the results of this study—and more than 25 years of clinical experience—I have concluded that it’s not the specifics of a sexual or romantic act that cause the most pain and do the most damage to a romantic relationship , it’s the lying , the emotional distancing, the loss of intimacy, and the disintegration of trust. As such, I have developed a definition of cheating for the digital age that might help couples clarify what is and is not acceptable within the bounds of their relationship:
Infidelity is the breaking of trust that occurs when intimate secrets are kept from a primary romantic partner.
Please notice that this definition does not directly refer to affairs, pornography , strip clubs, hookup apps, sexting, webcams, flirting , chatting, fantasizing, or any other specific sexual or romantic act. Instead, it focuses on what matters most to you, your partner, and your relationship—the emotional distancing, the sense of intimate betrayal, and the loss of trust.
What I like most about this definition is that it applies equally to online and real-world behavior. Moreover, it is flexible depending on the relationship; it lets couples define their own version of fidelity based on what is important to them, as determined through honest, nonjudgmental discussions and mutual decision making . For some couples, behaviors like looking at porn or flirting on Facebook might be perfectly OK, so long as the couple has agreed that the behavior fits within the boundaries of their relationship and secrets are not being kept.
Infidelity is not defined by a specific behavior; it is defined by the secrets that are kept, the lies that are told, and the damage that is done to emotional intimacy and relationship trust. The strongest and happiest relationships are built on trust. When that trust is broken, one partner feels betrayed, used, and taken advantage of. To a betrayed spouse, the emotional pain associated with the loss of trust hurts far more, and the pain lasts far longer than the hurt caused by any specific sexual or romantic act. And it is only as trust is slowly restored that the betrayed partner and the relationship start to heal.
I will write about the process of healing from the betrayal of infidelity in future postings here. You can also check out my book, Out of the Doghouse .
Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW, is the author of Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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Watching porn is a lot of fun, but it cannot compare with watching live feeds of real people going about their day — hanging out, talking, and yes, having sex. Having a lot of sex.
Luckily, there are plenty of sites out there that let you explore your inner peeping tom. These voyeur cam sites have houses filled with attractive people and cameras, and you can watch everything they do. Time to enjoy a thrill that taped porn cannot compete with.
Of course, if you visit one of the lousy cam sites, you will end up wasting your time watching uninteresting couples being boring. You need to find one that will reliably deliver the goods — and we have put together a list of the best voyeur cam sites on the internet.
Just be careful — you can get so caught up in watching their lives that you forget to go out and live your own.
If you want to see everything that happens inside a stranger’s home, then you need to check out Voyeur House.
They put voyeur cams in every single room of the house (yes, including the toilets). As a result, you will never miss a second of any real-life action — regardless of which activity you are most interested in seeing.
They have multiple houses to choose from, and there are usually 24 streams going at any time. That means you should always have something interesting to spy on, whether it is a sexy encounter or just people chatting amongst themselves.
Peak into what cams are recording now here
Best of all, if nothing exciting is happening when you log on, you can rewind the feeds to see what you missed. That feature is great if you walk in on the middle of something exciting and want to know how it started, and it gives lots of context to sex, fights, and anything in between.
The site also hosts a very active blog that will fill you in on everything that happened while you were away. This blog is a great way to understand the various goings-on, and it is fantastic for people who like to know the details behind the relationships they are watching.
Our biggest issue with Voyeur House is that virtually all of the sites are in Europe, so there may be some issues with the different time zones. You may not see much truly live action, but thanks to the rewind feature, that does not make much of a difference.
Bang bros is known for pumping money into productions, possibly leading people to believe it would not have compelling amateur content. This is absolutely not true, as their series “spring break spy cam amateur” shows. It was lifted from the site years ago and clips have shown up all over the web.
Other clips that frequently show up in xvideos include outdoor, car, and beachside rendezvous. Considering most viral voyeur clips originate from Bang Bros we highly recommend watching the full versions there.
You can get a one day pass for 1 dollar and check if it’s good here
You will have to trust us that WatchersWeb is a quality site although the design is atrocious. It looks like something from the dial-up era.
If you give it a chance, though, you will find some truly fantastic stuff inside. Part of that is due to all of the contests they run every month, with cash prizes for the best pictures, movies, and stories.
All of the content is real and homemade , and they have a live sex cam section. You can find some hot, unscripted sex on demand every time you log on, without having to wade through a bunch of boring filler.
Of course, if you like the boring filler, WatchersWeb does not neglect to deliver. You only get the sex, none of the other real-life drama that makes watching voyeur cams so much fun.
However, if you want to have the most amateur content at your fingertips as you can, WatchersWeb is one cam site worth your time.
If you get bored quickly, VoyeurHit has a little bit of everything to keep you sexually occupied.
There’s a ton of actual live voyeur content on here, but you will also find regular porn clips. Hidden cam videos, spy cam clips, and even porn games to play are more fund things to enjoy.
The clips aren’t very long, so if you prefer to get lost in a story, don’t expect them to be much help. However, if you regularly need something new to keep you engaged, there’s plenty on VoyeurHit to explore.
Everything is exceptionally well-categorized as well, so you should be able to find what you are looking for in seconds. You can introduce yourself to new material if you want to branch out.
The material itself is usually pretty low-res, so you’ll have to sacrifice some video quality in exchange for variety. That’s a trade we’d happily make most of the time, though.
RealLifeCam is another “pure” voyeur site, in that it gives you full access to a variety of apartments. However, some of the voyeur cams inside are free, while others require paid access.
As you can imagine, the better cameras are usually the ones you have to have a premium membership to see.
It’s very similar to Voyeur House in that it shows apartments in Europe, but you cannot rewind. You’ll have to catch people in the act.
The camera quality is fantastic so that you can see everything in dizzying detail. Also, the site has several apartments with just girls inside, if that’s your thing.
Overall, though, RealLifeCam has less to choose from than Voyeur House does. It’s still a fantastic site, but you’ll spend more time looking for something to watch here than you will at the other site.
HiddenVoyeurSpy is updated more than any other site on this list, so you should never run out of fresh content.
Most of their videos are voyeuristic, but they don’t have the round-the-clock sex cams that some other sites offer. You also can’t download any of their content, which is a bit frustrating.
It’s not too frustrating, though, because the site is entirely free . That goes a long way towards easing any hurt feelings.
It’s not the easiest site to navigate,
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