Wife Wants Sex Every Day

Wife Wants Sex Every Day

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How one writer makes room for sex in her schedule — every single day.
Recently I was having lunch with two married friends when the subject of sex came up, specifically an analysis of vibrators.
"But without a sex toy, how do you get off?" one asked, with unblinking earnestness.
"Well, I have sex every day," I replied. "Does that count?"
Looking at the statistics, I can understand my friends' shock. My husband and I are sexual anomalies. In a 2011 survey of adults in 26 countries, Americans have the least amount of sex, second to the Japanese. Half of married couples in the United States say they get busy only once a week — the rest, even less often.
Barring an occasional bad mood or a particularly nasty fight, my husband and I have sex almost every single day. I've even done it with the stomach bug.
It wasn't always this way. Six years ago, we were both married to other people with whom we had little sexual chemistry. It's not that we didn't want to have sex; we had just lost interest in having it with our spouses, and the feelings were mutual. In my case, my ex-husband and I loved each other's company and had similar careers and worldviews, and these things sustained us for a long time. But our lukewarm sexual attraction — something we ignored from the beginning — snowballed, making us more like siblings than romantic partners, a dynamic that contributed to the crumbling of our marriage. We merely existed together, feeling unwanted and alone. When the subject of sex came up, it was too painful and awkward to discuss. No therapist or manual can help if you're not attracted to each other.
A year after my divorce, I met my current husband through friends. It was like opening the best present either of us had ever gotten. In the beginning, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Eight months after we met, I got pregnant unexpectedly — but the sex didn't stop. We did it through my entire pregnancy, during morning sickness, and even on the day I gave birth (prior to the blessed event, of course). Postpartum, we eagerly hit the sheets again two weeks earlier than the date recommended by my doctor.
Of course, we have occasional dry spells. A handful of times a year, we get into short-lived shouting matches over some hot-button household issue like his piggish cleaning habits or how much money we're spending on private schools, and I'm too furious to even look at him, never mind sleep with him. There are also times when I'm too tired, crampy, or moody. But those times are rare.
How we've kept this going is bewildering, even to us. We have three young children, and we both work from home, often putting in 10-hour days. But every night, after we tuck in the kids and get into bed — almost always at the same time — we turn to each other. It doesn't require much energy (and if we're exhausted, we just go to sleep and have sex the next afternoon), and it's not a thoughtful plan as much as an ingrained bedtime ritual. Apart from being wildly attracted to each other, I've often mused that having daily sex is our escape. We don't have the time or money for many date nights or vacations, so sex is our retreat, our temporary bliss.
And it's good for our relationship. While comparing my more platonic first marriage with the sexually charged one I have now, I've come to see that sex is the thin, hot line that divides dear friends from spouses. It will spike, dip, and wobble over time, but it's a key lifeline on the marriage graph. In my relationship, that line remains sky-high. Sex is the one thing we unfailingly do right as a couple. It makes me feel like no matter what else is wrong — our insanely different communication styles, mounting bills — at least our sex life is good. It has a simplifying, equalizing effect when life is going off the rails. It's our reset button — and it works.

My serotonin levels are currently through the roof.

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8:30PM Saturday, November 19th, 2022
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More stories to check out before you go
WHEN you’re in a relationship, sex can very easily wane. This is what happens when you commit to having sex every day for an entire year.
ANYONE who has been in a long-term relationship knows that when it comes to sex, sometimes those regular bedroom sessions can fall by the wayside in favour of chores, work and kids.
But US author Brittany Gibbons set time to have sex with her husband every night for a whole year — yep, 365 days. She said it didn’t divorce-proof her relationship but it boosted her confidence.
Brittany, explains in her story for Good House Keeping , that after her third child she didn’t like herself naked. “I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and I waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barrelling from the shower to my closet to get dressed,” she wrote. She soon started to worry that her husband didn’t even know what she looked like nude anymore.
After speaking to a friend, she decided to have sex every day for a year as a way to force herself “into facing my body”. Her husband was a willing candidate.
So they had sex every day — minus when travel and a bout of the flu keep them apart. Gibbons explained it started off rough — some days she was just too tired and didn’t want to be touched, “but as the months passed, I started looking forward to it.”
Soon she said the loved-up connection of intimacy began showing outside the bedroom. “We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
To read more stories like this, go to bodyandsoul.com.au
But what she found most surprising was how she began feeling about herself. By the end of the year she was happy to walk around naked — no more bolts from the shower to the bedroom.
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
So is this something all couples should do?
“There are a few couples, therapists and books that advocate having sex every day for a year as a way of improving your marriage or relationship,” says bodyandsoul.com.au relationship expert Dr Gabby.
“For many couples who have drifted apart, this can be a helpful way to reconnect, rebuild intimacy, re-prioritise time together as a couple. It can also improve confidence, increase a sense of security and heighten your desire to be part of a ‘team’ who are in life together.”
Dr Gabby notes that it might not be practical for everyone to have sex every day — but suggests trying it for at least a month and see what the benefits are.
“Once distant couples feel rejuvenated, happier, more affectionate, less stressed and see life as a ‘we’ not just ‘me’.”
It’s important to realise that sex doesn’t always have to be penetration; it can be a teenage-style make-out session in the kitchen or simply an act that shows how much you care.
As for Andy and Brittney, three years on they are still having sex every night.
This article originally appeared on Body and Soul and has been republished with permission.
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Join the conversation, you are commenting as Logout
Nadia Bokody reveals the uncomfortable question that people should ask before jumping into bed with somebody, in order to prioritise everyone’s pleasure.
A former model claims she was duped into giving up her career and livelihood for a man who demanded to have sex with her multiple times a day.
A man who’s recently started dating a “cute and funny” woman is distracted by one sexual habit she can’t shake.

8:30PM Saturday, November 19th, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a purchase through the links on our sites.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEDT (GMT +11). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
WHEN you’re in a relationship, sex can very easily wane. This is what happens when you commit to having sex every day for an entire year.
ANYONE who has been in a long-term relationship knows that when it comes to sex, sometimes those regular bedroom sessions can fall by the wayside in favour of chores, work and kids.
But US author Brittany Gibbons set time to have sex with her husband every night for a whole year — yep, 365 days. She said it didn’t divorce-proof her relationship but it boosted her confidence.
Brittany, explains in her story for Good House Keeping , that after her third child she didn’t like herself naked. “I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and I waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barrelling from the shower to my closet to get dressed,” she wrote. She soon started to worry that her husband didn’t even know what she looked like nude anymore.
After speaking to a friend, she decided to have sex every day for a year as a way to force herself “into facing my body”. Her husband was a willing candidate.
So they had sex every day — minus when travel and a bout of the flu keep them apart. Gibbons explained it started off rough — some days she was just too tired and didn’t want to be touched, “but as the months passed, I started looking forward to it.”
Soon she said the loved-up connection of intimacy began showing outside the bedroom. “We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
To read more stories like this, go to bodyandsoul.com.au
But what she found most surprising was how she began feeling about herself. By the end of the year she was happy to walk around naked — no more bolts from the shower to the bedroom.
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
So is this something all couples should do?
“There are a few couples, therapists and books that advocate having sex every day for a year as a way of improving your marriage or relationship,” says bodyandsoul.com.au relationship expert Dr Gabby.
“For many couples who have drifted apart, this can be a helpful way to reconnect, rebuild intimacy, re-prioritise time together as a couple. It can also improve confidence, increase a sense of security and heighten your desire to be part of a ‘team’ who are in life together.”
Dr Gabby notes that it might not be practical for everyone to have sex every day — but suggests trying it for at least a month and see what the benefits are.
“Once distant couples feel rejuvenated, happier, more affectionate, less stressed and see life as a ‘we’ not just ‘me’.”
It’s important to realise that sex doesn’t always have to be penetration; it can be a teenage-style make-out session in the kitchen or simply an act that shows how much you care.
As for Andy and Brittney, three years on they are still having sex every night.
This article originally appeared on Body and Soul and has been republished with permission.
To join the conversation, please
log in. Don't have an account?
Register
Join the conversation, you are commenting as Logout
Nadia Bokody reveals the uncomfortable question that people should ask before jumping into bed with somebody, in order to prioritise everyone’s pleasure.
A former model claims she was duped into giving up her career and livelihood for a man who demanded to have sex with her multiple times a day.
A man who’s recently started dating a “cute and funny” woman is distracted by one sexual habit she can’t shake.

Dear Abby: My wife wants sex every night, and I’m too tired
Sep. 21, 2016 Updated: Sep. 21, 2016 4:20 a.m.

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