Wife Together

Wife Together
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Dr. Michael McNulty , a master trainer from The Gottman Institute and founder of the Chicago Relationship Center, tells Business Insider that “ maintaining a marital friendship, romance, and intimacy, managing ongoing conflict that is inevitable in marriage, and creating and maintaining a meaningful relationship is more challenging for partners with successful careers because they have less time to do so .”
“ When both partners have a strong commitment to a relationship, this leads to a strong sense of trust, which makes love last ,” McNulty explains.

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It has become quite common these days for husband and wife working together in the same office. However, it is often a big challenge for couples to maintain a balance, both at home and office.
There are couples who may have met working within an office and have fallen in love and then married in due course.
However, keeping the personal and professional fronts on the right track may prove to be an uphill task post marriage .
Do you know what is the most common problem, modern-day couples are facing?
The answer is, couples do not get much time to spend with each other. The reasons for it could be many like; having different shift timing, different work locations, post-work exhaustion, etc, as a result, leaving unhappiness between them. The only option they are left with is weekends, which according to them passes by in the blink of an eye.
Well, the problem sounds simple but can get complex if the right steps are not taken soon, to deal with it.
There are many cases where this has been the prime core of many couples quarreling and getting apart.
Finally, being able to manage work-life balance is a very important and mandatory thing that everyone should handle in a careful way.
As per CareerBuilder’s recent Valentine’s Day Survey , it is said that office romances are at a 10-year high, with 41% of workers admitting they’ve dated a colleague.
Based on the above metric, many employees do not mind their soulmate to be their cubical mate!
But there is one gunshot solution for this problem, which is couples working together at the same workplace. It can be in any way like joining the same company, opening a business or startup, etc.
Being together at the workplace helps you to be in touch with each other. Even though if the departments are different you still have more time to be with each other. Here are 6 marriage tips for couples that work together.
Here are a few other tips for couples who work together,
Here we will discuss the plus points as well as drawbacks of husband and wife working together in the same office:
Quality time that you need to spend with your partner to make the family life successful remains a dream for many city dwellers . This is because, in many cities, both the partners are working and the couple barely gets time with each other.
This is one problem that can be solved when both partners work in the same organization.
This is an added advantage when you are working with your wife .
There are however several other benefits when both the partners work in the same organization.
Here we have listed a few of the major benefits.
When two people marry, they take a vow to be together for the rest of their lives. For some couples – both of whom are working professionals – sharing the same workplace provides the perfect opportunity to strengthen ties between them.
As a result, they are around each other throughout the day, both at home as well as in an office. As a result, cooperation between them increases.
Some multinational companies offer special benefits to couples who work in their organizations. There are even firms that award a huge amount to the couple of both husband and wife belong to the firm. Only husband and wife who belong to the same firm enjoy such benefits.
Couples who work in the same office can travel to and forth from home on a daily basis. This is most suitable for professionals who are associated with a large company and do not get time to meet each other despite working in the same office.
Commuting together provides couples with the opportunity to talk to each other on issues, which are not related to their family life.
One of the major plus points of working in the same office for couples is that they get the opportunity to share holidays or work off days together. Therefore, they can plan holiday trips , family events, etc. since there is no conflict in their schedules.
Time with the family makes a great difference in the bonding between husband and wife. It also helps children develop a sense of having a great family. This family can help the child have a sound childhood.
When a couple works for the same company, they are not likely to fall in a situation in which one of them shows an apparent disinterest about the other’s job. Both of them will have a clear perception about what the other has in terms of experience and knowledge.
A common link like this also helps the couple to have great honor and respect for each other. It is quite possible that both joined the firm or organization because they possess the same skill sets or interest.
This common aspect may help to develop better bonding and understanding that lays the foundation for a good future.
When a couple works in the same office, they put in a significant amount of their time and energy into each other’s work than what they would do otherwise. They contribute to the growth of their respective careers and are able to help each other, both at professional as well as personal level.
A common company also means that the couple shares the same level of loyalty towards the firm or organization. This loyalty will help them have ambitions and goals for the firm as an employee. This could be a major factor that helps both of them grow and succeed.
People who have been married over a long period of time and have worked in the same office over a couple of years respect the contributions of their spouse, both at the office and home in a better way than couples who don’t.
This is because they are aware of several aspects of a partner’s character that can be assessed only while working together. For instance, it is not possible to know whether your partner possesses work ethics or enjoys earning money through fraudulent means unless you do not work together.
A few meetings or chance dates do not help to understand or assess whether your partner is a person of great principles. It is possible to understand these factors when you work in the same firm.
Couples who have worked together over a couple of years in the same organization and in some cases within the same department get the opportunity to know and understand each other in a better way as compared to others. Therefore, they are likely to have a better sense of adjustment as compared to those who don’t.
It helps to cement their ties in a better manner and rather than arguing, they try to set each other’s priorities right. They can thus balance their personal and professional lives in a better way.
While there are some benefits, there are some drawbacks too when both partners work in the same firm. These are often reasons why couples prefer to work in different organizations. Here we have listed down a few of the major reasons for your knowledge and reference.
For some couples, who spend a major part of their time – both at home and office together – sharing the same experience together on a daily basis becomes mundane. There are situations when both of them may lack the interest to discuss how their day went. So, they will have little to talk about once they return home.
Sometimes work-life can be a great topic for discussion among partners but this is not possible if both work in the same firm. If both the partners do not share any other interests apart from their professional skills, killing the monotony can be quite challenging.
Occasionally, the lack of personal space strains the relationship between the husband and wife as they meet each other both at home as well as the office. Though a married couple should spend their free time together, yet there are situations in which spending too much time with each other can adversely impact the quality of time spent. Quantity and quality always do not go hand in hand.
If one of the spouses is promoted while the other is neglected, then this could ruin their married life. Though most organizations do not allow a person to supervise their spouse, the promotion of one to a higher position as compared to the other person’s career can lead to conflicts within their married life if the other partner feels jealous.
When colleagues at the workplace have a disagreement and it continues at their home, this could strain their personal relationship to a great extent. It might be due to the differences in views on a project that the couple is working on.
Couples who have an argument at work can also clash at home, though their personal and professional lives are completely different. If a husband and wife fail to separate their work and family life, then their marriage may eventually break down.
If a couple works in the same department within an organization, they may tend to compete with each other. The success of one may arouse the envy of the other as the person is getting lesser attention from the boss. This may cause a bad effect on the marriage.
Another major issue that married couples working in the same organization face is the lack of security at their workplace. There are often instances when a company goes out of business, and in such a situation, both may be rendered unemployed. Dealing with crisis situations will be a difficult phase and needs to be taken into consideration before deciding to work in the same organization.
While working within the same organization as your spouse, you may find it really difficult to take leaves at the same time. For instance, planning vacations together may prove very challenging as your organization may not allow both employees to be on leave simultaneously. This is possible especially if you are both in the same department.
Couples need to make their choices after assessing the pros and cons. They can even take steps to fight the drawbacks. Here are some ideal steps that can help couples fight the drawbacks of working in the same firm or organization:
If you are among those couples who are working out together then follow these steps to manage your work-life balance in a proper way.
Though there are many pros when couples are working together, you also have to deal with the negative effects that come with it. Also if the tuning between couples is not right then there are many things that get disturbed like careers, family, personal lives, work-life balance, etc.
There are many experts who believe that great career success comes at the cost of your relationship or personal life.
But few relationship counselors do not agree to it and say it does not happen to everybody.
Here are a few tips that most of the successful couples follow to keep their relationships strong:
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I was recently asked to comment on the question of how much time a husband and wife should spend together… and most often this actually takes the form of “how much time is it reasonable to for me to ask my spouse to spend with me (since I have asked and they told me what I was asking for was unreasonable).
First, before I say anything else, I want to communicate that one of the things that can make marriage fun is when you know you can ask for what you want.
I think a spouse should generally not be chastised for asking for what they want… I am serious when I tell my wife that I want her to feel welcome to ask for what she wants. If my wife wants more time, more focus (can you imagine?) from me, then I want to know it!
I cannot promise that she will always get it, but sure want to know about it just in case I can! This rule is a family rule, by the way. The kids area also allowed to ask for what they want… but not promised to get what they want…
And I love, even when I cannot provide, to dream with my wife or child.
“I really want that toy” … “Man, I bet it would be great to have every toy we could imagine – what else would you like if you could wish for it?” – that isn’t sarcasm, it can be just dreaming with them!
Also, different people have different Love Languages – one of which is “Quality Time” (according to Gary Chapman)… in my marriage, I would translate that for my wife into “Undivided Attention.”
The idea here is that one spouse may be satisfied with less time than the other… but why not take the opportunity to give it? I want to be able to give what I can when I can, because The Lord knows that I will not always be able to say yes.
God is a God who loves to give good gifts… and I love to reflect Him as a good gift giver to the people I love the most. I love to give them what they want, when I can or when I think it is right/best. Now, on to the question more directly…
For years, counselors have compared marriage to a garden. This comparison works on many levels. I have pointed out before that one comparison is that the “natural” state of a garden (meaning the state it exists in without the intentional input of energy) is death; the “natural” state of marriage is divorce. Without the intentional input of energy, marriage dies.
Many want to think of marriage as similar to drifting downstream together… but that would imply that the natural state of marriage is to go where it needs to, but that isn’t the case, as anyone who is married knows.
I assume most therapists would agree with me that very few marriages end with the emotional bang… most marriages that end in divorce, drift into divorce.
There is more to look at in regards to this issue here at boring marriages … and ideas of how to avoid that drift! If the question is one of sex, it may actually be about intimacy, so I would encourage you to take a look at the conversation about how those things are linked in powerful ways .
But in response to the question asked, the first answer would have to do with what kind of garden you have? If a garden is otherwise healthy, and in an environment that engenders health (think two people who are generally healthy and who have quite a bit in common), then less scheduled and intentional time is probably necessary.
Years ago, I think I remember hearing James Dobson say that he figured a good minimum goal would be: 15-30 minutes a day, 2 hours a week, 1 night a quarter, and one weekend a year. I like these, and would generally agree…
By this he meant (if I am remembering it correctly) that we need direct and meaningful conversation and interaction 15-30 minutes every day in order to keep the garden in good shape. Then, we need to plan a more extended period each week in addition to that – a date, couch time, etc. of meaningful interaction; then an overnight away about 4 times a year and a longer couple’s vacation about once a year.
Keep in mind, this is focused time! Watching TV together, while nice at times, would not count, unless you were engaging at the time with one another (in which case, feel free to turn off the television).
Now, you can already see that a one-size-fits-all rule just won’t work, though.
So, what are some concepts that might work? Jump on over to part II
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* Limited sessions available after hours and on weekends.
You’re not alone and we would love to join you as you take steps toward a stronger, healthier future.
I believe we all need a safe place to explore the issues that may be preventing us from experiencing a full and satisfying life. My greatest reward as a therapist is helping my clients examine ways to make the changes in their lives that will allow them to look forward to the future with hope. I am a bilingual (Spanish-English) LPC.
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