Wife Showers With The Babysitter
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Wife Showers With The Babysitter
Style | I Keep Making Out With the Father of the Kids I Babysit
I Keep Making Out With the Father of the Kids I Babysit
And I can’t seem to quit him (or them). Help!
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I’m a woman in my late 20s, and for the past three years I’ve been babysitting for a family. Two years ago, I began having a strange kind of affair with the father of the children, who is 13 years older than me. By “strange” I mean we make out about once a week. It’s insanely hot: We kiss, our hands wander, clothes get pushed aside and then, after about 10 minutes, he abruptly stops and says he has to go. He also comes to my apartment after work sometimes, but again, only to make out briefly. Nothing more. It’s torture.
I’ve ended this thing many times and he always agrees with me, but we soon find ourselves making out again. I’m becoming someone I don’t like. I can’t stand what I could be doing to the children. If this comes out, I’d ruin their lives. I’m jealous of his wife, who has been nothing but kind to me. I know where they keep their condoms and I count them obsessively to know if they’ve had sex. I’ve considered telling his wife about the affair, reasoning that she deserves to know, but my true motivation is that I want to hurt him like he’s hurt me. He uses me like a toy he plays with then sets aside.
I know I should find another job, but I truly love the children and can’t imagine not seeing them. Yet ending things while still working for him has proved to be impossible. I’m scared that I love him. I’ve dated other people during the course of our affair, but no one makes me feel the way the dad does. Where do I find the strength to leave this situation? I feel sick and hopeless. Why can’t I seem to quit?
Cheryl Strayed: You can’t seem to quit because you don’t want to believe what you know is true: To this man, you’re a toy to be played with and then set aside. Nothing more. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even care about your emotional well-being . If he did, he wouldn’t draw you — his employee and the loving caretaker of his children — into his vapid treachery. Believe that story, Haven’t Hit My Breaking Point. The one that empowers you to set off on the only trajectory that ends well for you. The sooner you cut this man out of your life, the better off you’ll be. And yes, that means cutting his children out too. That’ll hurt for a while, but what’s the alternative? You spend the next decade surreptitiously making out with the dad in the utility closet? His wife discovers your affair and, after begging her forgiveness, they banish you? You don’t have to find your strength to leave this situation. You need only to trust the clarity you already have and act upon it.
Steve Almond : I’d focus on this insight, which is both a diagnosis of your dilemma and its cure: I’m becoming someone I don’t like . That’s the bottom line here. This man’s behaviors are despicable, unsurprising and ultimately irrelevant. They belong to him. What matters here are your actions and the motives that drive them. As Cheryl advises, you should extricate yourself from this toxic dynamic as quickly as you can. But it’s worth asking why you participated in a relationship that converted your desire for intimacy into a form of torture. That’s the emotional pattern you describe here: a relationship in which you’re enthralled for a few minutes, then rejected, unsatisfied, guilty, jealous and vengeful for the balance of your life. It’s perfectly natural that you would ask us why you can’t seem to quit such an affair. But you’ll find the strength to walk away, I suspect, when you start demanding an answer from yourself.
CS : You assert that leaving your job — and this affair — is difficult because no one makes you feel the way the dad does, yet your description of how he makes you feel is utterly miserable. I want to echo Steve in saying it’s important that you explore the question of why you’ve become involved with someone who so clearly lacks the capacity to give you anything you want or deserve, preferably with the guidance of a therapist. But I also hope you’ll be gentle with yourself as you disentangle this man from your life and your psyche. It might be true that in your relationship with him you’re enacting a dysfunctional pattern from your childhood, but it might also be true that you’ve simply gotten yourself into a romantic pickle. You aren’t the first one to conflate “insanely hot” with something that might be love, and you won’t be the last. The scenarios you describe — a secret affair, unconsummated lust, an older man messing around with a younger female subordinate (which is heightened further still by the daddy/babysitter dynamic) — are all straight out of the crank-up-the-heat erotic playbook. Cliché as they are, they’re also powerful, and when we are under their spell, our perception is clouded. This is another reason it’s imperative you remove yourself from your employer’s sphere.
SA : It’s vital that you’re honest with yourself about how and why you got involved with this man. My sense is that a skilled therapist would help, if you can afford to see one . Because beneath all your defensive emotions — the rage and self-recrimination — are more vulnerable emotions: disappointment and heartbreak. However damaging this relationship is, you feel a great deal for this man and his children. You’ve become a part of his family. Leaving all that behind is going to be painful before it becomes empowering. A therapist, or even a support group, will help you sort out your feelings about all this, as well as your motives. Cheryl and I have stressed understanding, and taking responsibility for, your role. But it’s equally important that you recognize the power dynamics here. This man is a dozen years older than you. He’s your employer. He’s the engineer of this adulterous arrangement. And yet, when you think about this affair in relation to his children, you write, “If this comes out, I’d ruin their lives.” Huh? Not only does this suggest that he is blameless, it overlooks the fact that your own life is being ruined. Self-examination is essential here. So is self-forgiveness. You have to recognize the deepest truth here, which is that you deserve more than this man can give you. You’re worthy of a lover who doesn’t hold back or tuck you away in the margins of his life, a lover who nourishes and celebrates you. That’s not how it feels right now. But with enough faith in yourself and hard work it will.
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hercules
Start date
Sep 20, 2004
I can usually do my workout any afternoon in any room of the house cause i am home all night alone, My neighbors are close friends of ours and we each have keys to each others houses. My upstairs is a wide open kitchen living room/ dining room, I was doing a nice aggressive jelq session, listening to my nomad (mp3 player) and had closed my eyes for a while. So I open my eyes for a second and there stands my neighbor holding dishes and such from our BBQ the day before, shes just watching away like im a free show. Here i am buck ass naked nothing to cover up with and my dick is all swollen up. We have spent allot of time together and she has seen me naked at drunken hot tub parties, Any way she works in a doctors office and seems very serious, she flat out says dont stop just tell what you are doing. I told her, exercise to make my penis grow. For some reason she has that quality about her that you dont get all embarrassed around her, i try to keep going but i get to hard so i stop,now she wants to learn all i can teach her about Penis Enlargement. We talked like 10 minutes while im sitting naked with a heat pad on my tool. She was very skeptical being in the medical field, then i showed her my stretch marks, she went down for a close look and grabs it to inspect it, and she in awe says you have big stretch marks and thousands of tiny ones!
My big problem is she seems to want to research my hobby and even check on my progress , she claims an impartial person would be a better judge of progress and that she would probably measure more accurately than me. She really seems genuine about wanting to see if this really works, i just dont think my wife or her husband would approve if they find out we met like that.
I will have to think that over
She wants it bro, FUCK HER!!!
seriously though, I would not be happy about my wife being so interested in another guys dick obviously, whether medically or not.
funny story
Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
1,741
let her do it but dont say nething about it. if they do catch you its not a big deal what u were doing its not like anyone was cheating or nething
Joined
Jun 3, 2003
Messages
114,879
Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
1,741
im with DLD, that is pretty hot! "She was very skeptical being in the medical field, then i showed her my stretch marks, she went down for a close look and grabs it to inspect it, and she in awe says you have big stretch marks and thousands of tiny ones!" I thought you were going somewhere else for a second there ..
Joined
Sep 21, 2003
Messages
1,856
First part of that really brought tears to my eyes
it was a big turn on and of course i would love to have let her have it, i just couldnt do it. maybe next time
Joined
Jun 25, 2004
Messages
1,113
Laughed so hard through that one...
For a sec I thought I was reading the Hustler Penis Enlargement Forum.
Curious to see how this one turns out.
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
1,724
do your wife know you pe? how do you think you and your neighbor relationship is going to be now....if it was me i probably would have handled it the same way you did...but i wouldn't allow her to check you out...if anyone is going to be "checking your progress" let it be your lady....that situation could get dangerous...good luck
this whole thread is cracking me up. DLD getting hard! I really laughed aloud on that one!
Let us know how this situation goes man. I couldn't imagine! Jelqing, eyes closed, then open up and oh! Whoops!
Like Twins172 said, this could get dangerous. Let's say she remains professional about it, and observes and charts your progress, and realizes that Penis Enlargement is for real. This is where it gets ugly. When she breaks the news to her husband that he could get a bigger dick, and she explains how. Then he wants to know how the hell she knows all about this. Pray to God she doesn't spill the beans about your "lab exercises and studies". I doubt that's gonna go over very well -
eep! I don't know what I'd do if someone caught me! That would be.. so awkward. Especially in your situation.. I wouldn't want a woman other than my wife touching me there. Well, hope things work out for you and it doesn't get too close.
Joined
Apr 18, 2004
Messages
2,411
She reached down and grabbed it after an aggressive jelqing routine? Dude, she would have got it whether I wanted to or not! Probably right in the eye!
Even if nothing happens, it's good fantasy fodder.
Id be hangin from a tree right about now. I couldnt imagine gettin caught, even if its a cutie neighbor chick.
Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
1,741
maybe.... shes a shemale and has a penis too...?
X-40
any follow up to "the nurse next door" story? ?
X-40
Don't fuck neighbor's wife
It's a horrible sin
4:49AM Sunday, September 4th, 2022
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More stories to check out before you go
GWEN Stefani and Jennifer Garner are famous women whose husbands were allegedly involved with their nannies. Lauren Weedman knows how they feel.
Gwen Stefani and Jennifer Garner are just the latest crop of famous women whose husbands were allegedly involved with their nannies — and it’s a cliche Lauren Weedman knows all too well.
The actress had been with her husband, David*, for 11 years when she found evidence of his affair with their teenage babysitter. The 47-year-old Weedman — author of Miss Fortune: Fresh Perspectives on Having It All From Someone Who Is Not Okay (Plume, out now) — told New York Post’s Lindsay Putnam how her marriage fell apart.
Three months after my husband, David, and I decided to end our marriage in 2013, I was impressed with how successfully our co-parenting strategy was working. Though he had moved out of our Los Angeles apartment, David would visit frequently as we tried to keep things as normal as possible for our 4-year-old son, Leo.
So when David accidentally left his laptop at my place, I didn’t think anything of turning it on. The computer had once belonged to me, and I wanted to make sure I hadn’t left any important videos — such as Leo’s birth — behind. But the oldest video on David’s computer wasn’t one of Leo splashing in the bathtub. It was of our babysitter, Simone, sans clothes — and it was dated 2011, a year before David and I had even gotten married.
David and I first met nearly two decades ago. We were both living in Seattle at the time, and appeared together in a small independent film. He had a beautiful wife, Hannah, and a young son, Jack. It wasn’t until after Hannah passed away from cancer and David and I were both living in New York that I developed a crush on him — but since I was still married to my first husband at the time, our friendship remained just that.
After my divorce, I moved to LA in 2003 to pursue my acting career — and, as luck would have it, David and Jack moved to Santa Monica, California, not long after. For the first time, we were both single; it wasn’t long until a few theatre dates turned into a full-blown romance.
But I always wondered if I measured up to his widow, Hannah, and constantly sought validation from David to try to soothe my anxiety.
“You know, it just hit me: If we end up staying together, you will go down in history as the great love of my life,” I told him one night after four years of dating.
I was hoping for a moment straight out of a romantic comedy, where he would call me the love of his life, too. Instead, all I got was an “Aww.”
But after six years of dating, I pushed David to have a baby. I was 40, and knew that this was probably my only shot at becoming a mother.
We had Leo the next year. David offered to stay at home with the baby; he loved being involved, and he was an amazing father. As the primary breadwinner, I continued to take on new acting roles — mostly theatre gigs, but also occasional small parts on popular shows including True Blood , New Girl and Masters of Sex . When Leo was 1, David recommended we hire Simone, an 18-year-old aspiring actress whom he mentored. She would show up in low-cut tops and miniskirts, but I thought that was just because girls are so overly sexualised in southern California. When a friend of mine told me that she had spotted them together in the street, I assumed that they were discussing her career.
David and I eventually made our union official and got married in 2012, when Leo was 1½. I thought I had the perfect little family. But David grew increasingly distant. He’d go on long bike rides and disappear for hours. After months of tense, one-sentence conversations, I snapped.
“You keep telling me that you’re ‘happier than you’ve ever been in your life’ being a stay-at-home dad, but you seem so unhappy. At least with me. I can’t take it anymore. Listen, David, if you’re not happy, if you don’t want to be married, then let’s split. We’ll be good co-parents. We’ll…”
“Yes. I think we should,” David interrupted before I could even finish my thought.
Our marriage was over, less than two years after it began. And three months later, I knew the real reason why.
When I found the video, I couldn’t even scream, as Leo was in the room. I’d always pictured catching a husband in an affair as a dramatic scene complete with the slashing of car tires. Instead, I called Simone and left a voicemail: “You’re not babysitting today. You’re never babysitting Leo again.”
It’s every woman’s nightmare, and it can happen to anyone — just look at Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. It comes down to the fact that this whole manhood thing is tough. Feeling like a man, being a money earner, being the one who takes control — I thought they were cliches. But they’re true. Men think that they want to have all of that pressure off of them, but once it’s lifted, it can be emasculating to be less successful than your wife.
David, a former actor, was used to being told he’s amazing and handsome. But you don’t get a lot of ego strokes when you’re home with your kid all day. I was always too stressed out by working and parenting to do it for him.
But I should have followed my instincts. Other parents warned me about Simone, but as a feminist who works with at-risk girls, I didn’t want to pass on a new babysitter just because she was overly sexual.
I thought she was just a lost, damaged kid. I thought if I didn’t hire her, it would make me look like some old insecure troll. I was trying to prove to David that I was cool.
If I didn’t feel comfortable, I should have just said so, and not cared what anyone else thought.
It’s been two years since David and I split, and he and Simone are still together.
It can still be painful but, surprisingly, I’m grateful for the affair. I needed something to completely cut me off from my ex-husband. Otherwise, I would have stayed with him despite his constant unhappiness and the ongoing fighting. I was so committed. But it made me re
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