Wife Raped Husband

Wife Raped Husband

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Ideas

My Husband Raped Me

By

Mandy Boardman

Mandy Boardman is a mother and a small-business owner in Indiana.
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M y story starts like a lot of people’s stories. I had a whirlwind romance and married a man I put all my trust in. We had a happy marriage for a few years, and then we began to drift apart. Our lives were consumed by everyday events — children, school, work, sports — which meant we were a typical married couple working on raising a family and living a normal life.
Seven years into our marriage, I started having memory and fatigue issues. Strange things would happen to me and I couldn’t remember how. One night, I woke up with a dissolving pill in my mouth. I had no recollection of taking a pill and was very confused. Another night I woke up with my clothes off. That was strange, since I wear clothes when I sleep and could not remember taking them off. I began to worry that I was sleepwalking.
I was also experiencing a weird taste when I slept. It was very bitter, like that lingering awfulness in your mouth when you don’t get an aspirin down in the first swallow. After a while, I started tasting the same thing in my drinks. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.
One night, I woke up to my husband standing over me with something strange in one hand and a flashlight, shining in my face, with the other. As he scurried away he tried to hide something under the mattress. After a physical confrontation, I was able to retrieve what was hidden. Under the mattress was a vial with a cloudy liquid inside. I asked what it was and what was he doing with it. He admitted that he had been dissolving Xanax and/or Ambien and administering it to me while I slept. Of course I asked why and he told me he thought I needed the drugs so I could get more sleep. Confused, I begged him to stop. He agreed to stop and I trusted that he would.
Over the next few years, I caught him multiple times administering the same white cloudy liquid to me. I confronted him over and over again, pleading for him to stop. He always had a way to make me believe that he would stop, that he was just looking out for my best interest.
One day, my husband left his phone at home. I had had suspicions that maybe he was involved in something shady so I decided to investigate. I found something on that phone that would change my life forever: video taken by my husband of him having sex with me while I was passed out cold. There were three videos in total and in each one I looked like I was dead. I panicked.
How did I not know this was happening to me? How did I not wake up when this was going on? I couldn’t wake up! I had been drugged with the white cloudy liquid that my husband administered to me countless times before. He would give me such a large amount of the drug that I would pass out and not wake up, for any reason. I was in a deep, drug-induced sleep. How many times had this happened? I had no idea. I was so disgusted, confused and afraid. I had always known that something wasn’t right, but I never had any proof until now.
I kept a copy of the videos and confronted my husband. He acted like he had done nothing wrong and then he somehow manipulated me into believing that no one would believe me, even with the video. Very soon we were divorced. He moved out and away from me. Even though I could move on with my life, I always felt like I should do something, tell someone, let the world know that this extremely messed-up thing happened to me. I tried to shake those feelings off and concentrate on moving on. I would read self-help books, go to support groups and see a counselor regularly.
One day, my son and daughter were supposed to go with their father for their weekend visit. My son would be gone most of the visit on a school trip and my daughter would have been left by herself with her father. All of a sudden, I felt like my brain opened up and I finally realized that what my husband did to me was 100% wrong. If he could do something that horrific and horrible to his own wife, then he could do it to anyone, including my daughter. It was then I knew that I needed to turn him in to the police for what he had done. He needed to be exposed for the monster that he was.
I turned the copy of the video I had into the police and told them my story. For the next three years, I fought this man who I once trusted with my life. I had to fight him in the criminal court for his disgusting acts toward me and also in civil court over my children.
Finally in the spring of last year, the jury trial came to an end: my husband was convicted of six Class B felonies , including rape and criminal deviant conduct.
I was finally free — free of his lies, his manipulation and his dark cloud. I could finally move on knowing that I would be safe. This man could not hurt me or my children.
Two weeks later was his sentencing hearing — and we received the biggest shock of the trial. Although he was convicted of those six felonies, he would not spend any time in jail. He would be put under house arrest, essentially free and able to live on without going to prison.
How could that be? How could someone be convicted of such violent crimes and not serve any time in prison?
And while the judge was giving the gift of no prison time to my ex, he told me that my ex may have been a crappy husband, but he was a good father and that I should “ forgive him .”
Excuse me, sir. This man raped me multiple times over many years. Rape doesn’t make him a crappy husband — it makes him a criminal.
I was devastated. I could not believe that one judge could destroy all the hope that I had that justice would be served. I went into a deep depression and tried to hold on to the hope that I would be able to move on and live my life unafraid. No such luck.
Two months later, my ex violated his house arrest. He was finally sent to prison, this time with a five-year sentence — and was let out a few months ago.
I have come forward to tell my story to highlight the issue of marital rape. My case brought up lots of conversation about the law, and whether or not marital rape is illegal. It is, in all 50 states. Some people, like Donald Trump’s lawyer , seem disbelieving. Some people wonder, understandably, how can a man rape his wife. My story tells you how. Regardless of your marital status with regard to your rapist, if there is no consent, it is rape. When a person is convicted of rape, they should receive a sentence that fits that crime. Unfortunately, in my state, rapists’ sentences are handed down by judges who can decide how harsh — or not harsh at all — they will be.
Today, I am still trying to overcome the depression that comes with the shame and disgust that I feel when those videos pop into my head. I try every day to stay positive and to achieve something toward my goal of changing the way people view rape, and especially marital rape. I need to make sure that this story is heard by other women in similar situations. Maybe they will find the courage like I did to come forward, and to make sure their attacker is held accountable for their actions.
If I can continue to bring the issue of marital rape to the forefront of conversation, then maybe I can help make changes in sentencing laws for convicted rapists. If my story helps one person, it is a story worth telling.
Mandy Boardman is a mother and a small-business owner in Indiana.

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“My name is Janet, I am a banker in my early 30s and going through a messy divorce. I married my husband as a virgin. I have never been with any man but him until I was raped. I didn’t know anything about orgasm, climax or what have you because i have never experienced it. 8 years of marriage with a miserable s3x life. i have two children from my marriage. “It happens that we travelled to my husband village during Easter period. While in his country home by 1 am in the night our house was raided by armed robbers a gang of 7 members. “It was a very terrifying experience, after collecting all the valuables at home, the leader turned to rape me. The leader tied my husband to a chair, tore my clothe and went on to show me his manhood that he will use it on me “I was frightened, i begged him and cried but he wouldn’t listen. It was a rape that cost me my marriage. As the guy was entering me, I was supposed to feel pains but that wasn’t so. I felt a kind of electrifying sensation that I have never felt in my whole life. I screamed oh my God, as he started pounding on me I didn’t know when I was holding him hard and begging him not to stop to the amazement of others, I was enjoying being raped by a criminal “I was told I was screaming very hard when I wanted to cum. Yes, I had my first orgasm through rape and since then my life hasn’t been the same. The robber took me two rounds which I came both times. I don’t know what happened, if it was my village people that pursued me, but all I can say is that I haven’t had such with my husband. My husband gave me the beatings of my life after the robbers left. ‘He called me unprintable names, i am a prostitute, he didn’t know I was an Ashawo. He can’t marry an Ashawo. i was hospitalized for two weeks as a result of that incident and his beatings “My husband left me at the hospital and travelled back to our home. i was damaged. how could such a thing happen to me? who was responsible for me enjoying being raped and even Cuming as a result of it? “How could i even enjoy such act of cruelty on my body? these were the question i kept asking myself. When i got discharged i met a divorce papers waiting for me to sign. I tried begging my husband, involved my parents but he swore not to let go 1. IS THE HUSBAND RIGHT FOR TAKING SUCH DRASTIC DECISION? 2. GUYS WHAT DO U THINK IS THE WAY FORWARD FOR THIS COUPLE? 3. SHOULD THEY GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS?
Going their separate ways is the best for them
The husband is obviously an inept man that cannot satisfy his wife She should try hooking up with the robber so that her orgasms can continue
There is no pleasure in rape...rather,pain,pain and more pains,self hate and depression.
La story là fake No Nigeria woman will do this for real.... Women that can pretend like anything unless if your common sense lies btw your legs
donbachi : There is no pleasure in rape...rather,pain,pain and more pains,self hate and depression. don't mind the fake story.
donbachi : There is no pleasure in rape...rather,pain,pain and more pains,self hate and depression. Where did you learn this nonsense? Brotherly there have been women whose first orgasm was during rape quote me anywhere
Solearr : Where did you learn this nonsense? Brotherly there have been women whose first orgasm was during rape quote me anywhere should i now believe the saying "experience is a good teacher" in wat u just mentioned.
donbachi : should i now believe the saying "experience is a good teacher" in wat u just mentioned. Continue deceiving yourself guy
instead of crying you started doing ooohhh aaahhhh faster faster harder harder why won't he divorce you
Story....Story....story for the Dunce!
Tears of love. I've seen the movie. The girl later finds the Armed robber accidentally, he apologizes, they fall in love and get married. Oh sorry I think it is "love don't cost a thing".
majamajic : 2 rounds on a crime raid ? You dey mind am, mumu blogger wan engage us for nonsense see my signature below sha blogger blogger
Sad story... Too bad I somehow find it funny too Madam, sorry but I think it's best you accept the divorce paper or else, you'll crave for a better divk and you'll cheat on him
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My [27F] husband [31M] of 2 years was raped by another man. How do we come back from this?
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Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
/r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve.
FIRST: The police have been notified, justice has been served. I am looking for advice about my personal life and not the case.
I guess I will start off by saying that I have never heard of this happening.. I am a therapist in training, and I have heard the statistics of men being raped, but I have never met anyone or read anything about a situation in which it happened.
My husband "Henry" is an amazing man. He is a paramedic who has dedicated his life to helping everyone around him. He is kind and caring and makes sure that everyone is happy in his life at whatever cost. We got married 2 years ago after dating for 6. He is the only man I have ever been with and loved.
He was raped by a friend of his that he met at the gym. I guess they were gym buddies or something. This guy invited my husband out to the bars a few weeks ago and Henry got extremely drunk, and it happened. I don't know the details, but Henry said it was forced on him. He was covered in bruises and had a black eye, which is the only reason he had to tell me what happened.
First he lied and said that some homeless guys beat him up in the alley behind the bar. I believed that, and took him to the hospital. He had to get stitches for some cuts in his lower stomach and they prescribed meds for the pain, then I took him home.
2 weeks went by and everything was fine. I could tell that he was still freaked out about what happened, and he jumped at every little noise, but he seemed happy. I work from 8am to 6pm most days, so I really only got to see him in the evenings, but we would have dinner and watch a movie just like we have always done. He told me it was difficult to go up the stairs to our bedroom, so he was sleeping on the couch.
last week I heard him crying in the middle of the night. Henry doesn't cry. He is a caring man, but he keeps his emotions to himself because he wants to be strong for everyone else. It drives me crazy sometimes, but thats that. I didn't go downstairs that night because I knew that he would be embarrassed about crying in front of me. But the next night I woke up to see if he was crying again, and he was. I had the next day off work, so I tried to talk to him about it. He tried to avoid the question and eventually it turned into a screaming match. We don't fight often, but when we do we can get pretty loud and really angry. He scared the shit out of me. He threw a chair across the kitchen and knocked over some dishes that broke. He was completely fucking crazy. My neighbor came over to the house and ended up having to pin him down on the floor.
I have never seen or heard of my husband fighting or initiating any kind of violence. He is completely against violence all together! I knew he wasn't okay so I took him to therapy.
After the first session I found out what really happened. Now Henry won't even look at me. He has locked himself in the downstairs office where he has moved the couch to sleep on. I guess he eats while I'm at work, but he won't answer the door when I offer him food. I have tried telling him how I don't judge him in any way, and that he is the victim. He won't talk to me about it except to say "no" or "go away", and he won't go back to therapy.
I am so lost I don't even know what to do. It has been 6 days like this and I am at my wits end. My rational mind tells me that he IS a victim and that none of this was his fault, but the irrational side of me is wondering how the fuck this happened. Henry is a really big guy and he could take most people in a fight. How does this happen to a guy like him? I still love him more than anything, and my heart is broken for him, but I am also angry that he didn't tell me because all I want to do is help him.
I haven't told any of my friends what happened, and I have absolutely no one to talk to besides the therapist. She is great, but I can only see her every 3 days. I am about ready to rip my hair out in frustration. So I am reaching out to the internet to see if there is ANYTHING I can do.
tl;dr : husband was raped, he has been locked in his room for 6 days and he hasn't spoken to me. What the fuck do I do?
EDIT: Thank you so much for your kind words of advice. And even to the people who weren't so kind, I feel like I need to hear what you think also because I am not thinking rationally. It really is helpful to hear exactly what I need to hear even if it hurts my feel
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