Wife Pees On Husband

Wife Pees On Husband
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Woman Pees on Husband's Back While Sitting on his Shoulders to Paint Walls During Quarantine HD
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This woman sat on her husband's shoulders so she could utilize her time in quarantine and paint the hard to reach spots on the walls. Suddenly, she spotted a spider and wanted to get away from it but her husband inched closer to it. She accidentally painted her face with the roller in her hand and laughed hysterically. It caused her to lose control and pee all over her husband's back.

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August 11, 2022 by Heidi Lux , featured in Spiritual Wellness
When you’re in love, you want to show the whole world how much you care for your partner. So when I got married to my husband, I felt that a traditional wedding ring wouldn’t be enough to express my feelings for him. That’s why I marked him with my urine.
Just like a cat tells the world they own a specific space by spraying it, I doused my spouse with my essence. At first, he protested, arguing that something that works for a cat is “completely impractical and unsanitary” for a human. But I strongly feel that we can learn a lot from the animal kingdom if we just listen. Plus, I really wanted to soak him in my pee.
When I tell people that I pee on my husband, and that’s why he reeks of the pungent odor of fermenting urine at all times, they automatically think it’s because of a sex thing. That couldn’t be further from the truth. There was nothing sexual about it (although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get off on it). Now that he’s been marked with my personal brand, I feel more secure in our marriage. I know that he’ll stay faithful to me—either out of love, or immense shame and embarrassment. Plus, I don’t have to worry about other women hitting on him, because he smells like pee-pee.
For those of you who think this is weird, let me ask you a question: Is giving your husband a golden shower as an act of territoriality any weirder than getting a couples’ tattoo? Unlike tattoo ink, urine is completely natural and organic. Everything except the first few drops is sterile, so that actually makes micturating on your spouse more sanitary than wearing a traditional wedding band, which can attract germs. I don’t want ring-germs all over my spouse! My whizz is totally fine, though.
It honestly feels amazing to get in touch with my primal side. It’s so liberating—for both myself and all of the bathroom stored up inside me. I suggest all couples try it. And if the thought of taking a leak on your partner repulses you, then maybe you’re just not in love enough.
Any successful marriage requires upkeep . Which means I need to keep on spraying my husband on a bi-weekly basis, no matter how much he insists it’s not necessary to mark him with urine or politely says “I don’t like this. Please stop.” But I love him far too much for that. Plus it’s hot AF and I can’t get off from regular stuff anymore.
My friends are often surprised to find out that I won’t move in with a guy until I’ve got a ring or at least an understanding that we are a couple. Sure, it’s a little old fashioned, but it’s what works for me. I’m not some stuffy agony aunt trying…
Hear me out, I don’t like the taste of piss. But I do like how it makes me appear interesting.
I make sure my child's creativity stays strong and vibrant by keeping him in an empty room.
Writer/Comedienne/Lady King who has written for Reductress, McSweeneys, CollegeHumor, The Belladonnas, and Smosh
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In college, I was madly in love with a guy named Elijah who looked like Denzel Washington. We were both undergraduate acting majors, and I spent the whole of freshman year ogling his perfect face, and perfect bottom. All I wanted out of life was the chance to have a romantic make out session with him, and seeing as how Elijah actually asking me out on a date was as likely as the Second Coming of Christ, I knew I’d have to be the one to make a move.
Dreams do come true, you see. It’s just, they tend to take an awful lot of work.
A holiday soiree was coming up at my acting school and I thought it the perfect opportunity for a casual but flirtatious conversation between and Elijah and me. There’d be free drinks and dancing and I planned to wear this slinky, red acrylic number. I also planned for Elijah to be drunk enough to think Sara Barron sure looks good in that slinky, red acrylic number . I bought my college friend, Melanie, along with me so she could act as personal cheerleader. “Go! Go! Go!” she’d shout whenever she saw Elijah disengaged from other conversations. I procrastinated for hours, however, until her enthusiasm waned.
“You promised yourself you would,” she reminded me. “I didn’t come here to watch you dance alone to Matchbox 20 songs.”
She had a point. So I summoned what speck of bravery I had within, and inched my way toward him.
Elijah stumbled drunkenly toward the door.
I’m unable to be cool under pressure. I tend to opt instead for screaming while sweating.
“WAIT UP!” I screamed. “HOLD ON! DON’T GO!”
My tall drink of water turned to see what all the fuss was about.
“WHY ARE YOU LEAVING SO SOON?!” I screamed, sweating profusely at this point.
Over the course of my college career, I’d heard this rumor that drunk people were often willing to have sex more readily than sober people, and so I asked Elijah if he wouldn’t like my company en route to his dorm.
“I could walk you back,” I offered. “If, you know, you’d like the company.”
My favorite sex scene in American cinema occurs between Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in “Pretty Woman.” Two-thirds of the way through the film, there’s this scene wherein Julia realizes she’s developed feelings for her Dapper Dan, and then the two start humping feverishly atop high-thread-count sheets at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. This is pretty much what I imagined for Elijah and myself. We’d share a desirous kiss outside his dorm, then make a dash inside for a lengthy bout of lovemaking over the course of which I’d be told repeatedly how both attractive and agile I was. I envisioned a lot of tender face-holding.
Instead, Elijah only asked if I would pee on him.
It happened rather quickly. We got to his dorm, he thrust me toward the bathroom, laid his gorgeous frame across the bathtub floor, and shouted, “PEE ON ME!”
I took a pause. I mean, I knew I could pee – I’d downed a jug of lobster bisque for dinner – but should I pee? Was this a thing that people did? If so, what happens once you’re done? Do you wipe? Who cleans up? There were these questions and myriad others. Namely, when asked to pee on a person, shouldn’t you make absolutely sure you’ve heard correctly? Shouldn’t you respond by asking, “You’d like for me to pee on you? Is that correct?” Perhaps this is a fussy way to go about it, but I think the interruption to the mood is worth it lest you let loose in a manner unsolicited.
Elijah lay prostrate in his tub and shouted again, “PEE ON ME!”
So I repeated, “Pee on you? You’d like for me to pee on you , is that correct?”
“You go, girl!” he shouted back. I thought this phrase had been reserved for tired sitcom scripts, but apparently no. It had not.
“Do your thing!” he squealed. “Pee on me!”
To be clear: This wasn’t my thing. It was his. But I was 19, spineless, and adoring, so in the end I followed through. I crouched awkwardly atop this strange and swarthy demigod and, presented with the option or To Pee or Not to Pee, decided: Pee. I let my crushing need to please kick in before my dignity. Though in the moment it happened, it felt less like some dramatic abandonment of self than perhaps I thought. It felt sort of, I don’t know, blah I guess. I peed on him, we toweled off, and then we went to bed.
As far as I’m concerned, once you pee on a person, you two are boyfriend/girlfriend. You’ve made A Connection. You’ve shared Something Special. Hence my shock at Elijah’s elusive attitude the following morning. I’d planned a packed itinerary of intercourse, then spooning, then a romantic pancake breakfast, but Elijah had other plans: First, to vomit the alcohol of out of his system, then to excuse himself to a dormitory breakfast of his own. Whether or not he had pancakes I don’t know, as I wasn’t asked to join him. He’d said, “Um. Okay. Well. Bye,” then opened his front door to let me know it was time for me to leave. I caught a faint hint of vomit on his breath, intermingled with a fainter hint of Listerine.
I hesitated. “Huh?” I was confused and unprepared to go. I couldn’t believe two people could share something as intimate as peeing and then not spoon. I couldn’t believe I’d made it to the Promised Land of Elijah’s dorm room and now would leave with nothing to show for it save an empty bladder.
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By Daniel S. Levine
- September 24, 2020 10:45 am EDT

The Good Place star Kristen Bell made a very embarrassing appearance on her husband Dax Shepard 's Instagram profile over the weekend. The Ranch actor shared a photo of Bell peeing in the passenger seat of a car they just bought. This could cause more permanent damage than Shepard's new haircut, which matches his daughter's hairdo.
"The most important part of this photo isn't that my bride [Bell] is peeing in the car, it's that the car is 36 hours old!!!!" Shepard wrote, alongside the awkward photo and another photo of the brand new car. "So much disrespect that I almost have to respect it." The photos picked up thousands of comments, including one from actor Justin Long who just had to make a Frozen joke. "'Let it go, let it go!!' Yet ANOTHER really impressive thing KBell does," Long, who starred with Bell in Serious Moonlight , wrote. Long featured Shepard in the first episode of his Life Is Short podcast and appeared on Shepard's Armchair Expert .
Shepard's photo also features another look at his new hairstyle that matches one of their daughters Delta, 5, and Lincoln, 7, requested. Shepard shared a video of himself shaving his hair, with Sara Bareilles' "Armor" playing in the background. "I love this man so much. He wanted to twin with our daughter," Bell wrote on Instagram .
Bell and Shepard married in 2013 and it is no surprise that they have shared another private moment with fans. During Tuesday's episode of the Say Yes! with Carla Hall podcast, Bell discussed Shepard's sobriety and revealed that their daughters play an active role . Bell explained that they have developed a taste for O'Douls, a beer with "less than 0.5 percent alcohol by volume," according to the company that makes it. "The reason for this is because when we first had our child and my husband would put her in the Babybjörn and we'd walk around the neighborhood, he'd pop a nonalcoholic beer in his hand and the baby would paw at it and put the rim in her mouth," Bell said. "It's a sentimental thing for my girls, right? It makes them feel close to their dad."
Bell said the couple talks to their girls about the importance of Shepard staying sober and why he cannot drink. However, their taste for O'Douls created a scene other parents might not understand. The girls were drinking it while on their Zoom school classes! "If anything, it opens up the discussion for why Daddy has to drink nonalcoholic beer because some people lose their privileges with drinking," she said. "Drinking's not always safe."
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