Wife Nonconsent

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Wife Nonconsent
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My wife, Lauren, went away for the weekend with her mother, ostensibly for some R & R at a spa in Pennsylvania. She might have just gone to her parents’ house and hid there for 48 hours . I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
This left me alone with the children from Friday evening through Sunday. Expectations were low as I am a sometimes-depressed/always-lazy parent who preaches discipline, which in reality translates to impatience, yelling, and finally caving to all their desires.
Lauren (before leaving): I left you four notes.
Lauren: Four! Read them and text me any questions.
(I have skipped Friday night as no major injuries occurred and the children made it to bed on time. I would argue that my superior parenting was the cause. Reality would say they were exhausted from school.)
I’m not sure how it’s mathematically possible. Liz and Matt know twenty other kids tops. Yet there are multiple birthday parties every weekend of our lives. I’m convinced some parents throw their kid a
party three times per year. Which brings me to my first problem. Lauren’s aunt can’t make it. I have to become the parent who brings the kid who isn’t invited.
11:16 A.M. We arrive and I explain to Jenny’s mom that the babysitter bailed.
“Of course he’s welcome! What’s his name?” Jenny’s mom says (while cursing under her breath).
Matt hides behind my leg. He’s in a stage where he does this a lot.
Like the hypocrite I am, I totally excuse this behavior when it’s me he’s clinging to, as opposed to when he does it with Lauren.
Speaking of types of invites, a cousin to the “uninvited sibling” is the “parents’ friends’ older kid who’s invited to avoid offending the parents’ friends even though they didn’t want to come anyway but didn’t want to offend you.” I scan the room and get a look at all the children running around. I spot an older kid not participating. I make eye contact and nod my head at him like, “I feel you, kid.” He looks back at me and appears to be debating if he should scream “Stranger Danger!”
It’s time for the kids to eat. Minus my obsession with germs and complete lack of self-control when there are three pies of pizza sitting there and no one to tell me “No,” I think this portion of the party goes fairly smoothly.
Am I too old to eat icing from a cupcake?
At home, we watch New York Minute with the Olsen twins which won 14 Academy Awards, I believe. I try not to look at my phone and the college football games. Liz loves it. It’s kind of entertaining. Wait,
did I just say that? Have I lost that much perspective after less than 24 hours with my kids?
(Does anyone else find these notes slightly condescending?)
5:58 P.M. It’s time for showers. Do they really need showers? Lauren didn’t say anything about showers in her note. In my mind, I run through their various exposures to the outside world. My germaphobia and my laziness are in a tight battle.
I play in the poker tournament. In a past life, I played a lot of poker and it’s one of the two activities (along with eating peanut butter straight from the spoon without choking) that I’m good at. So I
last until the final table. It’s getting late.
What???? That’s a violation of babysitting etiquette. You can’t leave the house until the parents come home.
We’re down to five people and it’s $1,000 and town bragging rights on the line. I am at a crossroads. It’s been a long time since my gambling problem directly interfered with my life.
“They’re sleeping. What’s going to happen?”
“It’s only $1,000 to the winner, right?” I confirm. I think if it was more than $5,000, I’d have to take my chances. I intentionally lose and leave.
11:00 A.M. Birthday party for Matt’s classmate. We’re on time to this one since Lauren’s aunt is watching Liz, and bringing one kid to a party is 50 times easier than bringing both.
Twenty years (and pounds) ago, I was a good athlete and played competitive tennis and soccer. (Lauren met me later and refuses to believe that I’m capable of extending past whatever speed I get up to when I run to the free sample line at Costco.)
I’m also a sports fan, and I badly want my kids to play sports so I can live vicariously through them. I just need something to root for again.
It was hard to accept that I may not ever have that experience.
1:25P.M. (clinic halfway done) I have finally gotten their cleats and shin guards on. Liz is wearing jeans because she only cares about her appearance and has no interest in running, which, at least when I was
playing, was an essential part of soccer.
Matt is more interested, though he spends 90 percent of the clinic picking the wedgie out of his butt from the jersey that’s tucked into his shorts because it’s huge on him. He is engaged
Until he’s not. “Daddy, my hands are cold.”
Fuck, I forgot the gloves. I spend the next twenty minutes intermittently blowing hot air into his hands and sending him back out to play.
We started out okay on Friday. I have since been broken down. In this case, I used McDonald’s as a bribe to get my kids to cooperate while getting ready for soccer (which didn’t work anyway). I also want to close the weekend strong so that Daddy gets proper credit. What’s the point of this weekend if not to make me the favorite parent?
I eat McDonald’s for the first time in a decade. A few thoughts: One, this food is delicious. Two, how do I have to go to the bathroom already? It just went past my esophagus three minutes ago. It’s a public bathroom though so I hold it in.
Matt and Liz are only eating the French fries.
“Three bites of your burgers,” I threaten.
“Four bites,” Matt bargains against his own interests.
“Matt, four is more than three,” Liz points out, ruining things.
I go to my bag of tricks. “Five-and-a-half bites each.”
Note: I’m not sure why exactly I’m so anxious for them to eat a burger over the fries. Protein, maybe? I think I’m just personally offended that my children ignore food. As I am a total pig, I would question
whether they are in fact my kids. But I can’t imagine there’s a man out there who Lauren could have had an affair with who has this level of disregard for food.
We arrive home and I can see the finish line. I could stick them in front of the TV until Lauren gets home. Does New York Minute Part 2 exist?
I decide against the television route. If Lauren walks in and they are watching TV, she will assume they have been in front of the TV all weekend.
“Kids, let’s clean up.” They have no interest in complying, but I have one card left to play. When they finish, we will bake an apple pie from the 564 apples left over from apple-picking last weekend.
“Would you like some apple pie, dear?”
“No. We met a nutritionist. I’m eating clean now.”
Whenever Lauren is introduced to something new, it changes her entire perspective on life. Until the following day when she forgets about it. I excuse myself to go upstairs. I am not as organized as Lauren and don’t plan weekends away. But I will now pretend to use the bathroom for the next thirty minutes.
This article was originally published on 1.25.2019

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A few years ago I created a survey on Mister Poll for Mother's Tied up. I kept checking for months but the poll never got put up. I gave up until a little while ago and discovered it had gone up and people had voted! I can't see the poll for some reason because it states "You have already voted". If the link is still good and anyone wishes to, drop me a line letting me know it's still active. Further if it is and there are mothers, aunts or older sisters and the like who wish to vote, please do. I'd love to see the results. And to that, if you wish to relate your story send it please. I'd be happy to put it up on my Deviant page credited or a
It 's summer and as usual Steve after spending the day playing with friends, come home to late, do a quick shower, turn on your computer and monitor facebook, until you notice the strange, the house seems empty, too quiet, she wonders if her mother will not be output to go somewhere or some friend, curious down the stairs and go to see the house, the garden with the pool is empty, the machine is still in the garage, so think that can be output on foot, in returning to his room wants to take a peek into her mother's room.

When he opens the door he was presented this: his mother is half-naked in bed, completely bound, at the time he was a hit,
The sun had risen on another beautiful Saturday morning and Alex was slowly starting to get out of bed with memories of the previous day.

Friday afternoon after school

Alex was walking home from school with Natalie and they where talking about what people where saying about them and the rumors they where hearing about them and the other captains. The talk about them was flying everywhere like airplanes and bombs in a war zone and was spreading like wild fire.

The latest was that Emily was so disgusted of how she got on the basketball team she quite the team and went to another school. Some say she went to a whole different state and others
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    I had been tying up mom since I was young and always when we had the house to ourselves. Nothing too drastic, usually sitting in a chair with her feet tied together and her hands in her lap. Looking back I think at any time she could have just stool up and the ropes would have fallen off of her. And the gag. I don’t think a cloth across her mouth really did anything. But she loved me and indulged my idiosyncrasies. It wasn’t until Brandon came over that I got a clear understanding of what it was to really tie someone up.
    Brandon was the brother of our babysitter. Breann would come over sometimes when my parents were going out and I would play these games with her. She must have told Brandon because I had mentioned to her that I tied up my mother once and a while.
    One day at school Brandon came over and asked if we could play together. I was only six or seven at the time and he was at least twelve. I was confused but happy that an older kid wanted to have anything to do with a little kid like me.
    The day it happened was when he asked if he could come over after school to have a play day. I said sure. He asked me if my mother would be home and I told him sure, where else would she be? Then he asked if my dad would be also. I told him my dad was on afternoon shift so he wouldn’t be home until late at night. This seemed to please him. I sensed something funny about those questions and decided that I should call my mother to see if it was alright to have him over. I told him I’d still have to check with my mother first.
    So after school I asked if Brandon could come over. Mom asked if he was the bother of Breann our babysitter and I said yes. She knew him and thought it would be great. I called Brandon to tell him it would be alright to come over and he said he’d be by after dinner. So after dinner there was a knock on the door. My mother greeted Brandon warmly and invited him in.
    He was very cordial and polite with my mom which was a little out of character because he was more of a tough guy at school. He came in and I noticed he had a knap sack with him. I was hoping that he brought over some of his cool ‘big boy’ toys to play with but he didn’t say anything about the bag. We adjourned to my room and started playing on my game console. I kept looking at his bag and finally asked him what was in the bag.
    He smiled without taking his eyes of the screen and told me that it was things he used when he played cops and robbers. Oh boy I thought, I loved playing cops and robbers. I asked him if we could play. I had the toy gun, police badge and plastic handcuffs; all us kids had at one time. I told him I could play the cop and he could play the robber because I had all the cop stuff.
    He said sure but wanted to change the game. Intrigued I asked him how. He said he would break into a house and take someone hostage. Then I would have to subdue the robber and rescue the hostage. This was a new take on how I traditionally played with mom. She was always the robber and I would catch her in the act to which we’d have a shootout with her missing every shot and me not.
    Now who to play the hostage he asked. Right away I volunteered my mom. His eyes lit up and told me that was a great idea. So off I went to inform my mom we’d be taking her hostage in our game. Once informed she asked how does this go then? I didn’t know so I called Brandon over to explain. He very politely and calmly told my mom that she be taken hostage then be rescued by the cop, her son. I think she was impressed by his sincere and polite demeanour and quickly agreed.
    So off we went. I went to get my gun belt and gun, badge, handcuffs and police cap while Brandon retrieved his back pack. We all met in the kitchen and decided how this was going to take place. Brandon took the lead and said he would sneak up on my mom then take her hostage. I was to wait out of sight and come when he was ready. We decided that I should wait in the living room while he took her to the rec-room downstairs. We all agreed. Then my mom asked how was she going to be kept? In a room, under a table. Where?
    Then Brandon said he would tie her up on the carpet down stairs, this way there wouldn’t be any obstacles like a door or table and chairs to get in the way. Tied up I thought. Up until now I had never thought of playing cops and robbers this way. I wasn’t sure about letting someone else tie up my mom either because that was my thing. But when I looked over at my mom she seemed quite complacent to play. Who was I to object? Until then the only way I saw tying someone up was by the feeble way I had tied my mom. So with a slight regret I agreed.
    As they made their way down stairs Brandon stopped me and said I have to wait up here until he was done. He didn’t want me to interfere or know exactly where she was downstairs. Where could she be I thought, we only have one carpet down there. So I sat in the living room as they went down stairs. It was only a couple of minutes and I couldn’t hear anyone talking after a while like I did when they first went down and the suspense was killing me. So I sneaked to the stairs commando style and peaked over the edge. What I saw caught me completely off guard.
    There was my mom lying on the carpet. She was on her tummy while Brandon straddled her back. Her hands were behind her but they weren’t tied. What shocked me, in a series of surprises yet to come, was that he had tied a gag in her mouth. When I say in her mouth, I mean in her mouth. I had always wrapped a cloth around the lower part of her face over her lips but now there was a cloth deep in her mouth. I realized this because unlike my gags I couldn’t see anything covering the lower part of her face. Now, there was a cloth coming out of the corners of her mouth and tied behind her head. I wondered if she could breathe thinking anything in your mouth would choke you but she didn’t seem to be in any distress so I assumed she was okay.
    Then he took a piece of rope from a pile I now saw beside him and wrapped it around her wrists in front of him but behind her back. He tied them in a way I had never done. Her palms were together and he was wrapping the rope around them. I always tied them across each other because I thought she would slip the rope the way he did it. But here’s the curious part, before he used up all the rope on her wrists he changed directions and circled the rope between her wrists. When he tightened it in made a sort of rope handcuff. This drew attention from her as she half turned her head.
    He pivoted where he was so he was now facing her feet. I ducked down because he would have seen me if he looked up. A few seconds later I chanced a glance. He had tied her ankles the same as her wrists but now he was getting off of her. He turned then sat on her bound ankles facing towards her head. He then wrapped rope around her knees, something I had never considered! He made one band above her knees then for some reason he made a second band below her knees then he got up.
    She was really tied up! I realized by watching him that I was quite amateurish compared to him. The ropes looked tight because I could see depressions in her wrists, ankles and knees where the ropes where, but he wasn’t finished. He took another long piece and began to encircle my mom’s elbows. I was now spellbound. He’d put rope on her where I’d never considered before. I was getting a new appreciation for tying up my mom. He began to tighten the rope. I pulled back from the edge and tried to bring my elbows together behind my back. I could barely move them past my sides. When I looked back my mom’s elbows were touching behind her! And very tightly. He wrapped a rope between her arms making another rope cuff (that’s what I called cinching back then). My mom made some remarks but unlike my gags nothing came out but garbled nonsense. He either didn’t hear her, not likely because I could from up here, or he was ignoring her.
    I had never seen my mom like this. She was in a straight line with her legs straight together and her arms folded behind her. It looked weird but exciting. I was annoyance that someone else was tying my mom up better than I could then my annoyance turned to jealousy because; ‘A’ I wanted to be the one tying her and ‘B’ I didn’t like this kid touching her never mind tying her up. But all of us had agreed to play this way and other than the few words she tried to say she didn’t seem in distress or upset.
    I got ready to come down because I assumed she was now tied up and he would be calling for me to rescue her now. Wrong! He took another piece of rope then tied it to her already bound elbows. Strange I thought because they were already tied. But then he brought the free end of the rope to her ankles and what he did caused me to loose what little mind I had left. He threaded the rope between her already tied ankles then pulled the rope back to her elbows. Her feet started to rise and not just into the air.
    They bent at the knees and once they were in the air he kept pulling. He brought her feet back to her butt. The rope passed through her elbow ropes again and back down to her feet. Then he sat on her bent legs causing them to fold down on her wrists. He kept pulling and taking the slack out of the rope. Her front started to come up off the floor while her hands were trapped under her calves. I heard her grunt then try to say something again but he just smiled. I guess he decided it was tight enough because he tied off the rope and when he stepped back she relaxed slightly but remained tied in an arch. She rocked forward causing her chest and thighs to come up off the ground while she rested on her hips. And I use the term rest figuratively, I couldn’t see how anyone could rest like that.
    I was about to pull back to go back to the living room to await my signal to come to my mom’s rescue but just then he pulled out his cell phone. When he started taking pictures of my mom she put up such a fuss that Brandon stopped and bent down to whisper in her ear. I couldn’t hear the one way con
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