Wife Loves To Be Watched

Wife Loves To Be Watched

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Discussion in ' Masturbation ' started by Que_dawg5 , Dec 30, 2015 .

How do I persuade my wife to use her vibrator while I watch?
How do I persuade my wife to use her vibrator while I watch? Tracey 27th October 2017 22nd January 2021

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Is there any way I can persuade my wife to use a vibrator on herself while I watch? She likes me to use it with her but says it’s not the same on her own.
I would love to watch her play with herself.
Here’s the thing: some women are totally comfortable using their trusty vibe with their partners watching, some aren’t. It’s just a ‘thing’ women have. We’re so used to having to hide it away for fear men will be threatened by them, it’s weird having to pull them out of the drawer and show what we get up to when you’re not around!
Then there’s the fact that most women orgasm within minutes with their vibrator and take – ahem – slightly longer with their partners. All this is probably going through her mind.
What I’d usually suggest is what you’re already doing: you using it on her to get her used to her vibrator in bed with the two of you. Then, it’s a small step for her to put her hands on top of yours, then you pull your hands out so she’s left holding it – and hopefully so turned on she continues the job. I suspect you’ve tried that.
Other reasons why she may not want to use it solo in front of you are because she feels self-conscious, it’s unsatisfying or she wants it left as her private treat. If she’s self-conscious, get her to try it with very dim lighting and with her eyes closed. Sure, you might not get a great view but once she’s done it a few times, she’ll get more comfortable and you can turn the lights up.
She may find it unsatisfying because she’s self conscious with you watching her. If the reason is she wants to keep her solo vibrator sessions for herself, I’m afraid you’re going to have to just accept it. In that case, relinquish the vibe and ask her to use her fingertips instead.
I’m a sex educator, author, presenter and columnist who has written 17 books about sex and relationships.
UK sex expert Tracey Cox tells FEMAIL her tips to help British men avoid the 'lonely single man' trap after it was revealed women are heightening their standards when it comes to relationships.
Tracey Cox advises on some helpful ways to get that job done. She says that not feeling in the mood for sex is the most common sexual complaint of women today.
Tracey Cox says pretending to be other people is the number one way to boost your sex life in a long-term relationship, but most people have no idea where to start.

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Discussion Starter
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#1

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Jun 19, 2018

To be clear, we are separated. We have been going to marriage counseling and "dating". My wife didn't cheat on me (technically). She hasn't "had" another man since we started marriage counseling.

I'm going to be blunt, with full likelihood of sounding like a ****. We had a ****ty sex life. We'd have sex once a month, if that. I always had to initiate. My wife laid there motionless and lifeless. She didn't enjoy it at all, nor did I. She would never do anything for me, except be a hole to ****.

After 4 months without so much as a touch we got into a fight in front of my friends. Everyone was drinking, someone complained about their sex life and I made a comment about my wife in front of her and 11 of my friends. That fight (and other buildup) led to us being separated for 6 months now. 4 months totally separated, 2 months in marriage counseling.

3 weeks after we separated my wife went and ****ed a "friend" of mine. A guy who I'm not very close with but he is a friend. He's a player and frequently has multiple "girlfriends". Now any time he will be around I get to remember that he's ****ed my wife, when she wouldn't even **** me. I keep playing it over in my mind what they did, even though I don't know. "Seeing" my wife on top of him makes me want to puke. He gets the satisfaction of another "score" and having told everyone that he ****ed my wife. I didn't even hear it from her. I heard it from the **** that was in her. While I will never invite him over or out, he is friends with many of my friends and I likely will have to see him at some point.

Here's the thing, my wife isn't just some bait and switch *****. She has ALWAYS been the same regarding sex. So yeah, my bad as I knew what I was marrying. We didn't even have sex until we had been together for 16 months. She took OVER A YEAR to have sex with me, yet went and ****ed another dude, that she had met twice. We haven't had sex since separating. She won't **** me but will **** 3 other men. Or maybe she had been ****ing others during or marriage.

She always use to say that sex was "special", yet goes and ****s someone she KNOWS is a player and wants nothing more than sex. Goes and has two one night stands. "To see if she could". Once wasn't enough she had to keep "seeing if she could"?

My wife was raped in her teens as a virgin. That's the "reason" we took so long to have sex and "why" our sex life sucked. Up until our separation I was the only person she had consensual sex with. Quite frankly I'm having a hard time believing that she'd have so much trouble having sex with her own husband, but can go **** 3 random men like it's nothing.

We separated because she wouldn't have sex, then she turns around and has sex with other men. Nice. In a counselling session she basically blamed me for it. She said it was her choice but what I said to her in front of friends (including the one she ****ed), and how I acted "made" her want to do it.

How the hell do you get over that and let it go? The marriage counselor is all about putting everything on the table, and starting fresh. It's not that ****ing simple. She still won't have sex with me "because she isn't ready" yet went and had a sex spree with strangers? How does that make sense? Maybe our marriage counsellor is a quack, I don't know. Either way I'm pissed AF over here. Maybe I'm being an irrational ****, and if so, please tell me. Or if I should be running for the hills, tell me that also.

We are trying to stay together because our sex life was the only large issue in our marriage, all other problems seemed to stem from it. We have 3 kids together, and while I am not going to "stay for the kids" I am going to try harder for them. We separated because it was "easy". We were fighting non-stop and hated being around each other. I had the opportunity to do a 4 month business trip, and took it. During that time we were totally separated and free to do whatever we wanted. We wanted to take that time to see if we wanted to be separated permanently or not. We both want to try and be together again and put in the effort. Having a "friend" tell everyone that he ****ed my wife, spread that to me, then have my wife (in counseling) tell me she ****ed two other men is changing that.
If sex with her is so bad, @cole8 ~ then why hang on to her? Any loving married husband deserves better than that!

And in my book, a "friend" who does that to another friends wife, married or separated, is certainly no "friend!"

And a wife who lets a "friend" do that with her is definitely not wife material!
Her having sex with your friend pretty much pretty much made sure that you could (as a human being) never ever forget/forgive her. It also sounds like she did it to intentionally hurt you and blow up any chance of R. You have to make your own decision about living with someone that mean.

With respect to the 'friend', don't hide his inappropriate behavior....a friend should have supported and encouraged your marriage if only for the sake of your kids. Announce to everyone that he stabbed you, your wife, & your kids in the back - which in turn makes sure you two could never reconcile. Let everyone know that he is nobodies friend and should be avoided!
Guess she put a nail in it. Quit thinking your wife is the only path to happiness. Dump her, there is a big beautiful world out there. She withholds sex then has an affair, your wife sucks. Seriously you probably wouldn't wish her garbage on a total stranger, why would you want to stay marred to this cruel person. And I know this hurts to read but she probably just isn't that into you, doesn't mean someone else won't be. Alone is better trust me, and the others who are going to echo what I wrote.

Side note, this is why I could never be a marriage counselor because at the point she told that story I would be telling you you can do better and you should let the marriage die.

Robert's right expose these *******s for who they are at the very least so people can protect themselves from them.

Seriously if you lie with Dogs you are going to get fleas. You need a better class of women.

Maybe you should get some IC to find out why you are willing to put up with such disrespect.

[Unless you have cheated on her in the past] then this would make more sense.
You hear all the time that the BS has to eat a **** sandwich, but most of the time the WS -- IS the **** sandwich.

Discussion Starter
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#5

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Jun 19, 2018

To clarify, prior to my wife sleeping with him I used the term friend loosely. He had always been more of a "friend of a friend" who I saw a few times a year. He wasn't someone I'd personally invite out but he'd tag along with someone else occasionally. I think my wife had only met him twice. He isn't someone that I want to be around anymore, and I have made that known. My friends do know that he slept with my wife, it's not something he ever hid. No one agrees with that behavior.

Our sex life was terrible, no denying that. The other parts of our marriage were good, before the frustration took over. She has said that she wants to work on her "sex issues" and that she will go to sex therapy to work on it. I don't really see how she needs "sex therapy" when she was fully able to spread her legs for three other men. I appreciate your opinions. My judgement may be foggy, hence wanting to reconcile.
I don't see anything to save here.

"Breaks" don't work. Couples work out problems together - if you are able and willing to walk away from your spouse. If your love is not strong enough, if your communication skills are not strong enough, if there isn't enough desire to stay together and work things through.... Then its done.

Breaks do nothing but prolong separation.

So basically sex always sucked, you two had an embarrassing blow out fight, separated, and she went off the deepens while "single".

Figure out how to coparent, and put this relationship to rest, it has run its course.
Sounds like you're trying to make every excuse in the book for her but there aren't any.

Indecision is not your best friend and will keep you in this mess.
She did it to spite you. Spite her, file divorce and start dating. No sex for you, then she bangs another? Let the divorce shock her ass, and let your friends know. Let everyone know. Let her deal with it. A client agreed to a temporary separation. His wife said she needed space to “find herself” Two weeks later he heard that she had slept with a coworker. Instead of confronting he made inquiries, made sure it was true. His wife carried on as if everything was good. Quietly, we moved all their assets. We prepared a file of evidence. And of course a divorce action was prepared. At one point she wanted to go for a date. On the day of the date the evidence was sent to her employers. Her and th AP we’re terminated for cause. She attempted to use a bank machine, she went inside the bank where she was informed all accounts were closed and an order was on file to repossess her credit cards. Finally he returned to her apartment to find her furniture gone and papers on the floor. Her husband ghosted her. There was a note with the divorce: Seems like you found yourself...at the end of xx’s ****. Have fun starting over.
Say what you think and do what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-Dr. Seuss

. Finally he returned to her apartment to find her furniture gone and papers on the floor. Her husband ghosted her. There was a note with the divorce: Seems like you found yourself...at the end of xx’s ****. Have fun starting over.

Put your walking boots on you will be glad you did in the long run.

Good luck.

Discussion Starter
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#11

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Jun 19, 2018

Thank you for the opinions. Maybe I am trying to make excuses for her or trying to talk myself into staying. She could very well be trying to guilt trip me into staying. Based on her actions (which I don't trust) she doesn't expect me to go back to her but wants me to. I have a hard time trusting her actions and word when everything she has said and done in the past seems like a lie.

To put it all out on the table, my wife thinks I cheated on her 10-11 years ago. I agree that the actions were wrong but I personally don't categorize it as cheating. It was early in our relationship, my wife lived quite far away and we were having a tough time. I invited a female friend over, we watched a movie while cuddling and she slept over. Honest to god, nothing else but regardless it was wrong because my wife wasn't okay with it. My wife and I hadn't been intimate at that point. It hurt her and it was hard on our relationship at that point. Prior to my wife, I had cheated in previous relationships (which she knew, I never hid it from her) so she didn't trust my word. That isn't something that she never brings up now, and it hasn't been mentioned in at least 6 years (probably more). I highly doubt it has any relation to our current situation.

To be "fair", I saw another woman while we were totally separated. In my opinion it's a different situation because I wasn't the one withholding sex or completely disinterested and full of excuses.

Throwing away my marriage and family isn't something that I take lightly. My wife may have already made that choice.
Your wife does not love you! That is clear! She may feel safe, familiar, and/or comfortable with you... but she does NOT love you.

Sex is a matter of control for her. She has used sex as a weapon with you. And when she was outed as the fridged biatch she is... she went nuclear on you and let the her inner ***** out... This is far worse than an affair, where she started got carried away over time, letting it happen... no she sought out people to give them freely what she wouldn't and won't give to you.... and you know she did this too hurt you, that's why she went to you circle of friends, for atleast one of her Fa-huck buddies.....

Don't kid yourself.... what she did can not be fixed. You will never ever look at her or love her the same way again. She is a broken person that is trying to break you.

I am pretty damn sure you were no saint during your separation, but I doubt it was of the vindictive and spiteful nature of your wife's activities...

You have to ask yourself, is this how two people who love and are devoted each other, treat each other and their marriage? No, it's not!

You might as well file for divorce now, it will only save everyone all the pain heart ache and time. Because if you haven't realized it yet, your marriage is dead. And you will never love here the same again. And she will always use sex as tool/weapon of control, because it has worked your entire marriage.

Sorry for the Sha-Hitty thoughts.

Start a new!

Btw... if I were you I would have beat that guy within half an inch of his life, if I were you. Regardles of the consequences, you would be doing all your friends a favor, especially since all their wives now know where to go when they want a little side action. Or if like your wife they just want to rip out their husband heart and dance on it in front of them...
Additionally, if she could so willingly do this to you, then what makes you so sure she is not cheating now???

Thank you for the opinions. Maybe I am trying to make excuses for her or trying to talk myself into staying. She could very well be trying to guilt trip me into staying. Based on her actions (which I don't trust) she doesn't expect me to go back to her but wants me to. I have a hard time trusting her actions and word when everything she has said and done in the past seems like a lie.

To put it all out on the table, my wife thinks I cheated on her 10-11 years ago. I agree that the actions were wrong but I personally don't categorize it as cheating. It was early in our relationship, my wife lived quite far away and we were having a tough time. I invited a female friend over, we watched a movie while cuddling and she slept over. Honest to god, nothing else but regardless it was wrong because my wife wasn't okay with it. My wife and I hadn't been intimate at that point. It hurt her and it was hard on our relationship at that point. Prior to my wife, I had cheated in previous rela
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