Wife Loves Black

Wife Loves Black

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DEAR DEIDRE I can't call it off with the hot married doorfitter who has been ringing my bell
COMMITMENT TO BREXIT Cancer-stricken ex-minister is breaking off from his chemo to vote for Brexit bill debate
DEAR DEIDRE SEX SPECIAL My boyfriend and I have a brilliant relationship... but I have to fake orgasms
DEAR DEIDRE I had boozy sex with my best friend's brother and now I've lost them both
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
Got a problem? Write to Deidre here .
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF
MY wife is having sex with a guy who is bigger and better in bed than I am, apparently.
Now she’s having his child she wants him to move in with us so I can support him too.
We have been together for 21 years.
I still love her like I did on our wedding day.
I have a successful online business and we enjoy new cars and holidays whenever we want.
She’s had affairs before but she has really fallen for this guy.
He first came to the house as her personal trainer.
He’s 28, tall, fit and good looking, but there are so many would-be personal trainers round here he hasn’t got any regular clients apart from my wife.
I have my successful business but I’m skinny and I’m too busy with the business to have time to keep fit. She is having an affair with this guy but when I told her I knew, she said I’ll put up with it if I truly love her.
She talks about what they do in bed and the size of his manhood.
He comes round to the house now and they go upstairs together to our bed and have noisy sex while I sit downstairs trying to focus on my paperwork, wishing it wasn’t happening.
I thought I could handle this but now she’s dropped the bombshell that she is pregnant.
I can’t have children of my own after having chemo as a child.
My family will know she has cheated as they know about my medical history.
My wife says I must support her or she’ll divorce me.
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re no idiot but you put such a low value on yourself and your own feelings that you are vulnerable to being exploited.
Perhaps you have been so long-suffering because you grew up knowing you couldn’t father children.
Tell your wife you are not going to be used any longer.
She’s threatening divorce unless you agree but that may be the lesser of two evils compared to standing on the outside of their little family unit in your own home.
Insist on you both getting some proper counselling to see whether your marriage can survive this and how ( relate.org.uk , 0300 100 1234).
If you decide to be a father to this baby, just tell your family that a miracle happened – it can sometimes.
But for it all to work, she’ll need to commit to you and you alone.
And you’ll need to spend more time with her, away from your business.
I MARRIED my wife for the second time but we hardly ever have sex.
We are both 40 and we married young at 22.
I had an affair four years ago and she divorced me.
We were back together within a year.
Our new life together is better in so many ways but sex is still an issue.
Things were great for the first couple of months but now sex seems to be just once every six months to keep me quiet.
I can’t risk another affair but I’m desperate.
DEIDRE SAYS: Did she have some early experience which put her off sex or did the two of you never manage to work out what would make sex feel great for her?
Tell your wife you love her and your relationship is suffering.
Ask her what she sees as the problem and read my e-leaflet Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive together to help.
I CAN’T seem to win round my partner’s daughter.
He and his wife split up long before we met and they are now getting divorced.
We have been together for three years.
He has a son, 16, and a daughter, 13, with his ex.
The son is not bothered but the daughter says my partner is divorcing so that he can marry me, which is untrue.
She plans to change her surname to her mum’s maiden name.
I try to do things with them but how can I prove that I am not a home-wrecker?
DEIDRE SAYS: She will be distressed by her parents breaking up and feels threatened by your little girl.
Together reassure her you two marrying will not change his love for them.
Make sure she and her brother have time with their dad without you and the baby.
Family Lives ( familylives.org.uk , 0808 800 2222) can offer help and support.
AROUND 85,000 women are raped in England and Wales every year and the rapist is far more likely to be known to the woman than be a stranger.
It can leave life-long emotional scars. For my e-leaflet Have You Been Raped? email me at the address below.
WHEN my partner has a drink he doesn’t know when to stop.
We are both guys in a long-term relationship but we don’t live together.
My partner has always had problems handling his drink.
He’s wet the bed before now and left me to clear it up.
He disappears back to his home for a few days and then turns up some time later like nothing is wrong.
My brother was round recently but he and his wife went home early and I’m sure it was because my partner was totally hammered.
I’ve tried not having any alcohol in the house but he’ll turn up with a box of wine while I sit there with an orange squash.
When he’s sober we get on great but he’s unpredictable when he’s had too many and I don’t want him around me.
DEIDRE SAYS: Only he can accept he has a problem and tackle it, but you can spell out how it affects and upsets you.
Don’t let him pretend there is no problem.
Tell him you were upset your brother had to leave early.
My e-leaflet Dealing With A Problem Drinker explains where to find help.
MY ex-girlfriend is a compulsive liar but I love her and I want her back.
We were together for almost a year and twice she cheated on me by meeting guys on dating sites.
She confessed and I forgave her once but the second time I felt things weren’t right, I logged on to the site and managed to guess her password.
Her profile was there with messages indicating she’d met a guy for sex.
I confronted her and she said her friend had set it up to catch me out as she knew I didn’t trust her. Rubbish! I left.
I’m 25 and she’s 22. I miss her and think about her constantly.
I’m on the same dating site now and I’ve been on a couple of dates but I want her and only her.
It breaks my heart to see her picture.
Would I be a fool to give her a third chance?
DEIDRE SAYS: Once is forgivable, but twice?
She’s somebody who finds it hard to commit to one person.
You’d be setting yourself up for more hurt.
Put this down to experience and move on.
And find a different dating site so you’re not tormented by seeing her.
BECOME A FORCES PENPAL: My service has helped cheer up our lads for years – especially those serving overseas. Find out how to join in here .
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ABC’s “What Would You Do?” hosted by John Quinones is known for creating uncomfortable situations with everyday people and capturing their reactions.
Last week’s episode featured “Rachel,” an actress playing a hairstylist at Harlem barbershop Denny Moe’s who is flirting with a Black male patron. When his White girlfriend walks in, she immediately begins loudly criticizing him and making snide comments about her. Hidden cameras capture the reactions—ranging from those who ignored “Rachel’s” shenanigans to those who called her out for being “ignorant” and “racist.”
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