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by Dr. Jill McDevitt
December 11, 2018
My husband and I have been together for eight years, and we had sex without a condom for the first time last month.
Yes, that’s right. Before one month ago, our genitals had never actually touched each other without a condom between them. Never. Not once. Not even the tip. Not for a second.
“But, WHY!?!” people will ask as confused and curious and somewhat concerned as you may be right now. As a sexuality educator, I blog about my sex life and how it relates to larger sociocultural sexuality topics, so it has been no secret to my friends and followers about our choice to use a condom every time, and we get a whole lot of “but, WHY!?!”
That confusion arises because when it comes to sexuality and human nature, so often we assume that everyone else is just like us, and therefore other people do their sexuality the way same way we do ours. For some folks, gleefully ditching condoms upon marriage is the way they do their sexuality, so they just don’t realize how different people have different reproductive needs, relationship arrangements, pleasure experiences , sex rituals, personal histories, and private beliefs about sexuality, and that as a consequence, they may find that condoms really work for them, even in a marriage.
In the interest of expanding your sexual world view about the diversity of condom experiences, I give you 7 reasons married couples might choose to use condoms:
Snippets of the above article were originally published in Cosmopolitan back in 2013 but Dr JillI and RipnRoll both feel it's too good, and too under discussed, to not publish again. We value Dr. Jill's contributions and expertise.
Rip n Roll’s Resident Expert, blogger, and social media Guru.
Dr. Jill McDevitt Ph.D. Human Sexuality M.Ed. Human Sexuality Education B.A. Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Dr. Jill is the only person in the world with all three degrees in human sexuality.
Dr. Jill McDevitt
Ph.D. Human Sexuality
M.Ed. Human Sexuality Education
B.A. Sexuality, Marriage, and Family
Dr. Jill is the only person in the world with
all three degrees in human sexuality.
by RipNRoll Condoms
July 09, 2022
by Bill Haney
July 08, 2022
by RipNRoll Condoms
July 05, 2022
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Store condoms safely. Condoms can become brittle and more likely to break if you don’t store them correctly. Condoms that are exposed to heat or light are more likely to tear. [1]
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Don’t keep condoms in your back pocket, wallet, or glovebox. If you think you may get lucky, put a couple in your wallet or car right before you hit the town. Don’t leave them there for days or weeks.
Store condoms in a cool, dry place, away from direct sunlight.
Keep condoms in their wrappers until you’re ready to use them.
Check the condom package. Before you purchase condoms , check the expiration date printed on the box. You should also double check the date stamped on the wrapper before you use it. If it’s expired, toss it out. Never use an expired condom. It could tear or fail. [2]
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Research source
Check out the wrapper for any signs of obvious rips or tears. If the package is torn or ripped, toss the condom out and use a new one.
If the condom is sticky, brittle, or looks discolored, toss it out and use a new one. [3]
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Put the condom on before your penis touches your partner’s genitals at all. People with penises produce fluid known as pre-ejaculate ("pre-cum") that can transmit STDs and, in some cases, contains sperm that can lead to pregnancy if you're having sex with someone with a vagina (though this is unlikely). Before you play, wrap it up. [4]
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You should also put on a condom before oral sex , anal sex, or oral-anal contact. You can contract an STD from oral sex, so it's important to still use a condom for these activities. A condom can be cut open to cover someone's vulva during oral sex or to cover the anus during oral-anal contact.
You may also want to put on a condom before mutual masturbation. This will keep fluids from getting on your hands that could easily be transmitted to your partner's genitals or mouth.
If you are using a sex toy, use a condom on the toy as well. The materials used to make some of the toys are not always safe to use in your body (like plastics containing phthalates). It can be hard to keep toys clean, meaning bacteria can build up, especially on toys made of porous materials.
Open the condom wrapper using the easy-tear edges. Push the condom away from the edge you plan to tear, and use the easy-tear edges. These are the zig-zag edges on either side of the wrapper that are designed to tear apart quickly and easily.
Don't get carried away in your passion. Don't shred open the foil, and stay away from scissors, teeth, machetes, or any other sharp instrument to open a condom wrapper, or you could tear the condom itself! A torn condom won’t protect against pregnancy or STDs. [5]
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If it's your last condom and you destroy it, the party's over!
Determine which way the condom is rolled. This can be difficult to do, particularly if you’re in the dark. However, checking by sight is the safest way to determine which way the condom is rolled, so you don't risk unrolling it too far or tearing it with your fingers. If the condom is right-side-out, there will be a lip or rim on the edge. If it's inside-out, the edge will be smooth. You can use your fingers to help you: [6]
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Place the condom on your thumb, but don't unroll it. Let it balance there like a little hat.
Run your pointer finger down the side of the condom, from the tip to the edge.
If your finger catches on the rim, it is right-side-out. If your finger slides smoothly off the rim, then it is inside-out.
If the condom is inside out, hold the rim of the condom with the inside-out tip pointing towards your mouth. Blow on the tip to invert it and turn it right-side-out.
Cautionary tale: don't unroll the condom, as unraveling it will reduce the condom's efficacy—and make it frustratingly difficult to put on.
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