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My wife and I are in our 50's in age. To my knowledge there has not been

View related questions:
affair , condom , ejaculation , semen
A
male

reader, Frank B Kermit  + , writes (27 December 2007):
A
male

reader, Danielepew  + , writes (27 December 2007):
A
male

reader, dc.ryan  + , writes (27 December 2007):

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3 Answers - ( Newest, 27 December 2007)

My wife came home from a night out with a hickey
relationship_advice
Original (deleted)

My wife went out with some of her acrobat friends, and she came home with a hickey. She tried to hide it at first, but when I saw it, she told me it was nothing, just a rash.
I had a closer look and told her it was a hickey. She then said on the night out, someone kissed her neck. I asked who and she said it was one of the girls.
.... should I be going full on over this?
The fact that she lied about it alone tells you everything you need to know.
Yep. The trickle truthing begins. Or just bow out now and be done with it
I really don't understand how some people can be this naive.
Some people just don't want to face up to the fact that the person they spend their life with is, in fact, an unfaithful arsehole whose taking the piss out of them. Of course, we don't know anything else about their marriage so...
Cognitive dissonance. It's the reason 95% of the population refuse to believe taxation is theft, despite it requiring extremely simple steps in logic. [1] [2] [3]
Yawp. Thats a glaring red-flag if ever there was one. I’d dump her.
A. Red Flag
B. Break up with your partner
Almost a relationshipadvice full house!
Or You Can assume you do, you don’t have to go all in on something like that.
Yes. The fact she lied at first is a red flag.
Right? Even if it was “one of the girls”... is that not still highly inappropriate?
Exactly. Who knows how far down the affair rabbit hole she went, but whatever it was she felt the need to lie about it. Which means it was almost certainly a lot more than just a hickey.
Girl or guy, cheating is cheating. Love knows no gender. OP NEEDS TO DIP OUT.
Two obvious red flags. The first being the hickey and the second being the lie about it being a rash.
I don’t think you’d be in the wrong to doubt whether the “friend” in question is not in fact female. If one of her drunk friends did it as a joke she wouldn’t have lied about it.
Her "friend" could in fact be female. A woman cheating on a man with a woman is still cheating
Backing this up — my (M) ex boyfriend once had a New Year’s Eve kiss with a woman and then cuddled with her all night (aka probably had sex). He said it didn’t matter because she was a woman. He’s currently engaged to a woman
True. I just said it could be male since I'm unsure if the wife is bisexual. Since she's married to a man, it's reasonable she'd cheat with another man.
This, if one of my friends had done this to me to be "funny" I'd have been pissed and likely immediately messaged my husband "THIS BITCH JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY TO MARK ME" and probably would have left.
Third one being that she tried to hide it
She just lied to you about a hickey bro what more do you need.
Pretty simple fix really. Title is wrong. "Ex-wife"
I had a closer look and told her it was semen
Ok fine! It is semen, but it’s not what you think!
I think he should sniff or taste it before being 100% sure, what if it was something else which just looked similar?
My wife came home with another man and they were kissing, I asked why she was kissing him and she said she wasn't then I told her she was and then she said she was but the man was a woman.
Yes, but that would be his second wife.
The current one will dump him soon enough.
"My wife came home with cum all over her face. At first she said it wasn't there but then told me she had yoghurt earlier. What should I do?".
It takes a lot of necking to get into hickey territory
Eh I dunno about that. My partner thinks it's hilarious to try and give me a hickey when I have work the next day. Can confirm it only takes a few seconds before it's there. Especially if OP's wife is fair, it's possible. Lotsa women have conditions where we bruise more easily too, like low iron.
However, she's clearly shady or she never would have lied. She'd have shown him when she got home and been like "fucken Belinda did this! Can you believe it? I have to go to work like this!".
Yeah she lied, time to get in contact with a good lawyer
Cheated. Let us know when she gets past the trickle truth and tells you everything.
It sounds like you should sit down and ask her why she felt the need to lie twice, and how can she expect you to trust her new explanation when she just broke your trust. Other than this incident how is your marriage overall?
What’s that, real advice? Not just “fucking cut her loose bro with literally no background information whatsoever” lol. Most these dumb cunts probably don’t even know that a hickey is literally just purpura and (although she came clean about where it came from) literally no one past the age of 12 gives hickeys and two you can literally get them from anything that puts pressure or suction on the skin, like a backpack.
Oh man I'm sorry dude...She cheated
Lawyer up and hope she doesn’t take half.
LOL. Not sure why I found this so funny.. Sad but true
No need to doubt what you know here. It isn't good, and her lying proves it.
Your EX wife got a hickey you mean?
People on this subreddit are ridiculous. With absolutely no context or information it’s always automatically “get the fuck out if there”, “better get a lawyer”. How about just sit down and have a fucking adult conversation because I guarantee the majority of people giving you advice should not be giving you advice
Her behavior indicates that something happened that she felt violated the boundaries of their relationship.
She lied, repeatedly, when confronted about that night. The innate trust in their relationship has been broken. Once this occurs, it permanently changes the nature of a relationship.
I'm not suggesting that he should be seeking out a divorce attorney immediately but she has seriously harmed their relationship and, by her actions, called everything into question.
I agree, but there is enough information to know that she's at least lying. Would I wanna be with someone lying straight to my face?
Even if it was actually someone he'd not have a problem with getting her a hickey (like a girlfriend of her and she's like super hetero) he's gotta talk to her about lying and trying to hide it.
But I agree, they gotta have a conversation.
Bro people lie. This isn’t a Disney movie. I’m not condoning what she did but fuck me maybe she was embarrassed. Why everyone here gotta automatically jump to the worst possible conclusion and then give fucking shit advice. The only advice 90% of these people need is sit down and act like a fucking adult and not a goddamn child in their first ever relationship.
If they actually did that (sitting down and talking to each other) instead of instantly posting it on reddit, there'd be almost no content on here because as you stated, that's what 90% of those people need.
And since you know that, why are you still following this sub then?
Why not unsubscribe the sub, ignore the post itself or just the comments and focus on your own comment/advice?
These comments in this sub will always be this way and there will be a fuckload of those.
Also I am aware that people lie. But if my girlfriend lied to me about something like that and no matter the turnout, if it was another guy or a girl I'd be hugely disappointed in her for hiding it and lying to my face.
Maybe you'd be okay with that, but I don't want someone to lie in my face and think it's okay. Have some decency and respect for me and yourself and be honest about your mistake.
Lol I still subscribe because this shit is honestly hilarious to the point that I’m sure 80% are just people sitting around thinking up the stupidest shit possible
He tried already, what are you on about? He literally came after he tried to sit down and talk to her.
Mate saying “that’s a hickey” and asking where it came from, is not having an adult conversation about it. He may very well have but from what he has written, and the fact he felt the need to ask, would make me believe he indeed has not.
Sure bud, idk what you consider an “adult conversation” but being blunt and straight forward is everyone else’s definition of an adult conversation.
Not sure if you expected him to politely ask while batting his eyelashes “hey, what’s that right there?” All innocently or something, but... He shouldn’t even be the one trying so damn hard to have the conversation, he didn’t come home with a hickey.
I’m having a feeling you’re either not experienced or totally cool with your SO coming home with a hickey, hide it, and then lie about it. To each their own I guess.
Lol an adult conversation does not start with “that’s a hickey” but mate your obviously one of these people who would genuinely need to ask people on reddit how to handle such a basic situation. But you know, being happily married for years has taught me nothing so I guess you’re right, to each their own. But if that’s how you would handle this situation, you shouldn’t be giving advice
Exactly, don’t provide an example, just spout off on how bad my advice supposedly is. Usually how it goes with daft folks. I also didn’t even give advice, I just said being blunt and straightforward is the most grown thing to do, and you’re disagreeing with that lmao? Yikes. Hate to tell ya, but no relationship is good if communication is crippled to the point where you can’t be straightforward with your concerns.
Also, he said “that’s a hickey” after she lied after he simply asked what it was. So, after she lied, he rightfully pointed out it was a hickey. Brush up on that reading comp.
Mate the day I take advice from someone with an anime pic as their display pic will be a dark day indeed. My original point stands, no real adult comes to reddit to ask genuine advice because reddit is full of idiots. The only genuine reason anyone should be subscribed to this thread is to laugh at the absolute nonsense of most of the posters. Fin
Aw look at you take that fat L, mate.
Lol the fact you think you won that imaginary argument on the internet shows the low standards that led to you adopting an anime picture as a display picture. But thank you for the conversation ;)
Aw you can’t even see the irony of your own comment! Poor dumby. You keep telling yourself you’re so much better, bet that makes you feel like a big boy, doesn’t it! Aw!
.... should I be going full on over this?
Better yet talk to a doctor. A standard checkup and STD screen will likely suffice. The HPV vaccine would not be indicated in this scenario and 99.9% of the time HIV PrEP would not either.
Just don't tell the doctor that you need the last two because someone on the internet said so. We really hate that.
A standard checkup and STD screen will likely suffice.
The reason I'm recommending prophylactic measures is that OP JUST caught his wife cheating. If he wants to continue living as usual without arousing suspicion, he's going to need them after the STD screen - which they always administer BEFORE giving PrEP.
When I was younger we used to do this to friends as a joke (we were assholes to each other)
You would never describe it as a kiss, you would describe it as someone intentionally giving you a hickey (love bite for us cultured english folks) or sucking on your neck so it looked like you had got one. Never a kiss
I suggest you read up on trickle truthing, you won't like it but you need to soak that shit in
On top of that you wouldn't lie about it being a rash.
Also, I don't see people bringing up that she was trying to hide it. If it was a kiss from her friend, or just a rash why would she hide it?
This is non debatable. She’s cheating.
She tried to hide it from you.
She lied.
She has a hickey.
Also, if it was a girlfriend, would that matter?
Your wife lied to you. That was no girl that did that. Don't be naive.
Your wife should have to pull you off the ceiling because you’re so pissed off and that’s just for starters. You need to have the come to Jesus conversation with her. She either starts talking and telling the truth or she needs to find a new address. It’s not complicated so don’t allow her to make it so.
Bet her breath smelled like cock too!!
That happened to me when I went to the club and a very drunk frat boy grabbed me and started aggressively kissing my neck. My very first instinct was to be honest with my boyfriend there was nothing I could have done in the situation to prevent this. One of my friends had to literally pull him off me and he kept insisting it’s his birthday and he gets to do what he wants. I left immediately. If she had been honest and open maybe this wouldn’t be a problem but she lied and that’s not cool. Try to figure out what actually happened and go from there but because she want honest at first I wouldn’t be very thrilled
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Time to find a witness for the divorce paper signing
Who the hell still gives people hickies? Is that really a thing outside of highschool?
Hahahaha sadly yes, but I wish you were right
What do her acrobat friends look like ?
big hands, short hair ?
I wouldn't overreact, because hickeys can be kind of a mean prank thing. But I'd want to know which of the girls did it, and ask her before there's an opportunity to coordinate the story.
It can be but why hide it and lie about it then?
The dude that gave her that hickey probably gave her a taste of his cock too
Doesn't sound good. Unless it wasn't consensual, that counts as cheating.
People lie when they have something to hide. Keep an eye out for trickle truth from her. Good luck.
She tried to hide it, then lied about what it was, and most likely lied about who did it to cover her ass...3 red flags...that’s some serious shit and she’s going to say that you’re overreacting and that it was nothing but no, you know it’s not. This is serious.
You need to get to the bottom of this and be firm about it.
Wait a minute..... Maybe I’m way off here, but it sounds like his acrobat wife made out with another acrobat girl. I saw a movie along those lines once. Worked out well for that guy....
First she tried to hide it, then she stried to lie about it, that's all you need to know really, she's being shady.
Confront her. I agree with most of these comments
Male or female hickey giver, joke or not, she done cheated on you OP.
It doesn't matter if she's bi, pan, closeted gay, straight, A or any other sexuality I have left off. She cheated.
Best case scenario, she has shitty friends who think hickies are a funny thing to do. In which case she's secretly 14, and that's a whole other issue. But still a lie to you.
I wonder how much making out was done to raise to heat to Hickey town.
OP I'd be sceptical, if it was a fun friendly hickey from a female friend, why hide, then lie about it being a rash.
Her story doesn’t pass the smell test mate!
Also, does she really think you are that stupid?
Dude she lied about it as soon as you asked. The fuck do you think?
You know what to do buddy,leave her
She’s cheating on you lmao?! You should end it?!
Trickle Truth. She cheated on you OP.
Yes, it wasn’t just a kiss, you have to suck really damn hard to get a hickey
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I have seen a girl give her friend a hickey as a joke before, its a kind of weird sabotage attempt with the girls bf. its messed up but it does happen. or she could have been drunk making out with someone. if she tried to hide it then I would be worried, worried that it wasn't just some gf being a jerk but was inste
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