Wife Clit

Wife Clit
Updated on November 10, 2021 @ 09:00AM

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Maressa Brown is a journalist and astrologer who's a regular lifestyle contributor and resident astrologer for InStyle. She has nearly two decades of professional experience writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle content for a variety of digital and print consumer-facing publications including Parents, Shape, Astrology.com, and more. She is currently based in Los Angeles and completing her first title with Artisan Books to be published in early 2023.

For as long as science has been aware of the clitoris, it has been the subject of much scrutiny, confusion, and dismissal.

The Greeks seemed to get the hype, as the word for the female organ comes from the Greek kleitoris , which has been translated as both "little hill" and "to rub." But that doesn't even begin to cover the treasure trove of nerves, blood vessels, and, in turn, the potential mind-blowing pleasure that it offers — right at our fingertips.

And that pleasure part is key. Casey Tanner , certified sex therapist and an expert for sex toy company LELO , explains that the clitoris is the only genital organ that functions solely for sexual satisfaction as opposed to reproduction. "The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in the tip alone," she notes. "That's twice as many as the penis, and yet the clitoris often gets only half of the attention, if that."

It's no wonder that, according to a study of over a thousand women published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , 37% reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36% indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms feel better if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse. And while you might think of clitoral and vaginal orgasms as two different things, we now know that what most of us think of the clitoris is actually just the external tip of the iceberg — the clitoris continues inside of the body, too. "Even vaginal orgasms are dependent on the clitoris, which is much larger than its visible tip such that it can be stimulated internally through penetration," says Tanner.

No doubt that's a case for learning more ways to enjoy the ultimate pleasure spot. Here, the best ways to stimulate the clitoris on your own or with a partner, according to Tanner and other sex experts.

Those same 8,000 nerve endings mean that the clitoris is sensitive in the best way, but sometimes friction can increase sensitivity to the point of discomfort or pain — especially when the clitoris is aroused, which experts will refer to as erect (yep, same as a penis), says Tanner. And although your vaginal tunnel is capable of creating its own lube when you're turned on, the clitoris is not.

For that reason, Tanner says it's vital to introduce a lubricant to stave off chafing and dryness. She recommends starting with a water-based lubricant (like LELO's Personal Moisturizer , $25 for 5 fl. oz.). "It uses natural ingredients, is pH balanced to prevent infection, and safe for use with toys," says Tanner. "A little goes a long way, so massage a few drops onto the clitoris and add as needed."

If you're new to clitoral stimulation, Tanner offers the following tips for getting acquainted with your clit.

Be mindful. Try explorative touch with the optional addition of a hand-held mirror. "Every clit is different, so notice the anatomy of yours," she notes. "Where is it in relation to your labia? How large or small is it? Take note of the clitoral hood, the small fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris. No need to judge or label – simply notice." After all, the more familiar you become, the easier it will be to locate during solo play, she points out.

Start with a super slow, gentle touch. "Even before you touch, you can give the vulva a little hug," advises Amy Baldwin, sex educator and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast . "Cup the vulva with your well-lubed hand, and let it hang out there so the skin temperatures can acclimate to one another."

Try different patterns. "Use your index and middle fingers to massage the head in small, circular motions," advises Tanner, who adds that you might also enjoy rubbing the same fingers back and forth just slightly across your clitoris in small, straight lines, noting the difference in sensation.

Other motions to consider, according to Baldwin: kneading, pinching, swirling, stroking, tugging, and tapping on and all around the clitoris, including the labia.

Use varying pressures. "Experiment with pressing down harder as your massage, finding an intensity that feels stimulating without causing discomfort," suggests Tanner.

When it comes to the amount of pressure you might prefer, consider that the main factor in the sensitivity of your clitoris is the size of your clitoral hood. "The anatomical equivalent to the foreskin on a penis, the hood is the small fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris to protect its delicate tissue from friction," explains Tanner. "When the clitoris becomes erect, the clitoral hood retracts to expose the sensitive tissue to pleasurable sensations. Folks with a larger clitoral hood, and thus more protection, may be able to tolerate more direct and intense touch. People with a thinner or smaller hood may find that they enjoy a lighter touch."

And if you happen to have a larger clitoral hood, you can also manually retract it by taking your index finger and pulling upwards slightly on the skin above your clitoris, she recommends. Then, using your fingers or a vibrator, you'll notice the increased sensitivity to touch.

Be indirect. "If these options are feeling too sensitive, try massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia," notes Tanner. "Use your fingers to move your labial folds over your clitoris, and then try the same techniques again. If these options aren't stimulating enough, use a vibrator to up the intensity."

You can also simply spend time massaging the outer areas of the vulva, including the labia majora and minora and opening of the vagina where the clitoral anatomy attaches internally, recommends Shannon Chavez, Psy.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in Los Angeles .

If you're partnered: The same techniques described above can be used by someone else during partnered sex, either with a partner's fingers or tongue, notes Tanner. "Use directive language, such as 'a bit softer' or 'a little to your right,'" she suggests. "If you're comfortable doing so, move their hand to locate your clit, or show them where it is using your own hand. Introduce these activities by letting your partner know that you're learning more about what makes you feel good, and you want them to be part of that."

If you're a seasoned pro at jilling off, consider these next-level moves.

Try layering. "When playing solo, try massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia, to control for the sensitivity of your clitoris," recommends Tanner. "This technique involves using your fingers to move your labial folds over your clitoris before applying pressure."

Experiment with "broadening." In order to explore what different surface areas feel like on your clitoris, you can move away from using just two fingers and try using the surface of your palm instead.

If you're partnered: "When choosing a position, think about angling yourself such that each thrust or hand motion will also hit rhythmically against your clitoris," advises Tanner. "For example, ask your partner to lie on their back while you straddle them seated on top. Rather than moving vertically — up and down — angle your body forward at about 45 degrees, letting your clitoris rub against the shaft of their penis or strap-on." Another option: "Choose positions such as doggie style, wherein you or your partner have a free hand that can stimulate the clitoris with fingers or toys during penetration," she says.

Interested in incorporating some tech-savvy gear? Consider these tips.

Reach for a wand toy. There's no doubt that you can use a classic wand vibrator on the clitoris. Because the head is larger than a cylindrical model, it'll cover more surface area of the clit, says Chavez.

Try internal stimulation. "Thrusters or curved devices will stimulate the G-spot and can be moved from side to side and stimulate the internal anatomy of the clitoris," points out Chavez.

Explore with a clitoral vibrator. You might also consider experimenting with toys that were designed with clitoral stimulation in mind. If you're playing solo, Tanner likes LELO's ORA 3 ($169; LELO.com ). "It has a rotating tongue stimulator that mirrors the sensation of oral sex and can be applied directly to the clitoris for intense stimulation, or massaged around the clitoris for a slightly more gentle experience," she notes.

If you're with a partner: "If you're desiring more clitoral stimulation with a partner, try introducing TIANI 3 ($169; LELO.com ) in the missionary position," she recommends. "Insert the smaller arm into the vagina, and the larger one on your clitoris. You or your partner can then use the hand-held remote control to explore different settings and intensities."

No matter what technique you're using, do your best to be patient with yourself and how long it might take to reach climax. "Porn and romcoms depict people with vulvas orgasming after mere seconds of sexual activity, and this is not reflective of reality," says Tanner. "If your goal is to have an orgasm, it's not at all abnormal to need 20 minutes or more to get yourself there. Take breaks, or alternate between internal and external stimulation if sensitivity becomes a problem."

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To have an orgasm, most women need consistent and direct clitoral stimulation.
The clitoris is responsible for so much pleasure, yet is still elusive to many.
About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. So you want to make sure to include her clitoris.
At the top of the vulva is the glans or clitoral head. It is tucked inside the inner labia and often hiding under a hood.
What’s often forgotten is that the clitoris is much more than this tiny “bliss button” that tends to get all the attention. The clitoris also has a shaft and legs.
The entire clitoris, the head, the shaft, and the legs are all made up of erectile tissue, which means that they become engorged just like a penis when aroused.
Now that you are more familiar with the anatomy of the clitoris let’s dive in deeper.
Because let’s face it, if you know how to stroke the little man in the boat, then you will be a woman’s best friend.
Most men don’t know what women genuinely like. The clitoris can be so sensitive to the touch that it can be overwhelming.
Often men, apply too much pressure, too soon.
The clitoris has about 8000 nerves ending, while the penis has about 4,000. That means that the clitoris is twice as sensitive.
And while a woman enjoys clitoral stimulation, she will enjoy it more if you’ve awakened her entire body first.
Start by activating the neighborhood and giving her a light petting over her entire vulva.
Include her inner thighs and lower belly. Massage towards her clitoris but not directly on it.
While doing so, you activate the circulation and bring blood to the area when stroking and massaging her. It will also allow her to relax more and get used to your touch.
Another great tension reliever is to apply acupressure on her labia. Start close to her perineum and move your way up until you reach the clitoris level.
Again, you aren’t directly on it; you are parallel to the clitoris.
Imagine that your touch is bringing in more circulation. The extra blood flow will create more engorgement, which will make your woman enjoy the sexual activity more.
Now that you’ve warmed her up, it’s time to approach her clitoris.
Always start with lighter pressure and increase as she gives you feedback.
Most women have a side that feels more sensitive. For many, it’s their upper left quadrant that feels the most sensations. Some will prefer the other side touched as it is a tad bit less sensitive, while others will want the left side, most responsive, to be touched.
If I were, to sum up how to touch a clitoris in one word, it would be rhythm. Stick to a consistent rhythm and stay with what works.
Remember, there’s no one way to do it. Each woman is unique, so you need to pay attention to her cues.
Circles are your friend. Use one or two fingers, or you could use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris in a circular motion.
Imagine her clit as a clock and move your tongue or finger around the clock.
Clockwise or counter-clockwise is up to you and her. When you are using your tongue, flick it now and then to counter the circle’s effect and give her something different. That way, her clitoris won’t be getting numb or too used to the movement.
Stick with your tempo, even if your finger or tongue is getting tired. Repetition and consistency are key.
You can also use your finger to trace slow circles around her clit and hood, and then circling her labia too for extra sensations.
One of the ways that you can stimulate the shaft is to pull on it gently. It’s the same as you would do on your penis, especially if you aren’t circumcised and working with the foreskin.
You can tug the shaft up and down or roll it between your fingers. You can also do more of a jerking off motion if your woman likes it.
As you are playing and massaging the shaft, you stimulate a deeper part of the clitoris, which will feel good because it usually doesn’t get that much attention or stimulation.
The shaft is also less sensitive than the clitoris glans, so it can give her a chance to relax and build up more anticipation of you stimulating the glans.
Create suction with your mouth over her clitoris. Think of it as a little like a vacuum pump action as you are gently sucking on her clitoris.
Imagine you are sucking on a straw, wrapping your lips over the clitoris, and suck like you would a nipple.
A bonus to the suction is that it is not a move that she can perform on herself. She needs someone else or a device to get that particular sensation.
A word of caution: sucking the clit can often get overwhelming, so start lightly and be prepared to back down if she tells you so. It is, however, a fantastic sensation if she can tolerate it.
Remember, it’s all about rhythm. Whatever you do, stick to the pace you’ve chosen and don’t change your cadence.
Give it enough time for your woman to enjoy and relax into it.
If she likes it and seems to want more, or if she’s asking you for more, then you can increase the pace, but don’t change all the time.
Now watch for the signs that you are doing a great job.
She can fake an orgasm, but her body can’t lie to you.
When your woman is aroused, her clitoris glans will pop, and it will look like a mini erection or what I call a “lady-boner.” Sometimes it will even gently pulse. It will also feel harder to the touch.
Notice the color changes as well. Your partner’s labia will darken, and her entire vulva will look swollen if you’ve taken the time to massage her thoroughly to increase the engorgement.
Make sure she surrenders, relaxes, and receives fully.
Her biggest challenge will be to get out of her head. Tell her the magic three little words to help her relax: TAKE YOUR TIME.
Don’t pressure her to have an orgasm and be willing to spend whatever time she needs to reach her orgasm. Sometimes it can take up to 45 minutes for a woman to surrender and let go. So be prepared to show up for her.
Your only goal should be her pleasure without any expectations.
And remember, women can enjoy many kinds of orgasms; they are multi-orgasmic. So there’s no need to stop at one.
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Céline Remy, ‘The Intimacy Angel,’ is a leading expert who has helped and worked with over 1,500 men, women, and couples to discover their true sensuality and energy in their sex life and relationships. She teaches both men and women how to unleash their sexual potential, bring out the best in each other, and have mind-blowing sex for hours. Celine’s mission in life is to help and inspire 1 million people to experience love, passion, connection, and true intimacy in their relationships and sex life.
You should always assume that pretty much every link on this blog is an affiliate link, and if you click it and get that awesome product, I'll receive a commission. It won't make me rich, but it will help me continue to produce free content for you. Thanks for sharing the love.

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I wish my wife could enjoy herself as much as yours. I'm 64, she's 59; she has no interest in intercourse (hurts too much), and a little interest in us rubbing on each other (twice a year or so).
She can get aroused during our rubbing, but I don't think she masturbates at all.
Unlike me, I do several times a week, and she's ok with it.

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Dude, seriously?

You are 64 and you still believe your wife doesn't masturbate / isn't interested in orgasms????

What if, she never has never had to masturbate / have sex In order to orgasm...but that would mean she has never told you the truth.

Straight guys, seriously, sheesh! 64 ??????

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