Wife Cheats At Bachelorette Party

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Wife Cheats At Bachelorette Party
Bachelorette parties are highly stigmatized as hypersexual, rowdy events. The first image of bachelorette parties that pops into people’s minds usually involves alcohol, strippers, and infidelity.
Bachelorette party cheating is a common and understandable source of anxiety for partners. Unfortunately, it does happen — research has estimated that 2.6 percent of women cheat at their bachelorette parties. This may seem like a small figure, but it is still more than what is acceptable.
More information about cheating at bachelorette parties is given below, including an answer to the question, “Is it okay to cheat at a bachelorette party?” Tips for what to do before a bachelorette party are then enumerated. Moreover, tips for what to do if your bride-to-be cheats on you during her bachelorette party are also provided.
According to Statistic Brain, only 2.6 percent of women cheat on their partners during their bachelorette party. However, this figure should be taken with a grain of salt. Not only is the study already several years old, but statistical approximations always have a margin of error. Respondents might also be dishonest about their answers.
Regardless of the actual figure, cheating at bachelorette parties does happen. Plenty of people have already attested to this; friends of the bride, distraught fiancés, sex workers, and brides-to-be have shared stories of infidelity during a night out. 
Many people view bachelor and bachelorette parties as an engaged person’s “last fling before the ring.” In other words, these pre-wedding events are a “free pass” to do anything they would normally not do. This includes cheating on their partner.
Cheating does not always have to be a one-night stand. Touching or groping a stripper, making out with one, and any other sexual act can be considered cheating. Moreover, becoming emotionally connected and intimate with another person may be viewed as emotional cheating.
There are several reasons why a bride-to-be might cheat on her partner during a bachelorette party. This includes:
However, even if a certain number of people do it, that does not make it okay. Likewise, no reason or motivation behind the act will make cheating okay. Cheating is never acceptable and justifiable in any situation.
If your partner is involved with the planning of her bachelorette party , talk to her about it. Ask her what the itinerary includes, where it will be held, and other pertinent details. If she is not involved in the planning, talk to those who are.
During this conversation, setting boundaries must be a priority. If something makes you uncomfortable, let them know about it. The planners of this pre-wedding event should consider your comfort.
For instance, you may find that you are okay with them having strippers at the party. However, you do not want any physical contact between them and your partner. This includes lap dances, kisses, and other gimmicks.
Trust is an essential part of any relationship; you have spent months, even years , cultivating and strengthening it. Rely on this trust while your bride is out at her bachelorette party. Trust that if ever something does happen, she will be upfront and transparent about it with you.
A bachelorette party’s guest list only consists of several people. You may not know all of them well, but you still have to put your trust in them. Trust that they will keep your bride in check and not overindulge her. If it will make you feel better, ask someone from the guest list to update you if anything happens.
Contrary to popular belief, what happens at a bachelorette party does not always have to stay at a bachelorette party. If you were present at a bachelorette party and witnessed the bride-to-be cheating, speak up about it. The responsible thing to do is tell her partner; you might spare them from a marriage filled with distrust, pain, and anger.
By informing the groom, you are also looking out for his health. The person the bride cheated on him with may have a transmissible disease. If the infidelity goes unchecked, the bride-to-be may also infect him with the disease.
You might be branded as a “snitch” if you do this. However, staying silent implies that you condone and support that behavior; do not enable cheaters. Know that if you speak up, you are doing the morally right thing.
Understandably, finding out your bride-to-be cheated on you is overwhelming. Instead of reacting at the moment, take a step back and give yourself some time. Doing otherwise might result in a fight. Process your emotions, organize your thoughts, and initiate a conversation once you are ready.
If you are finding it difficult to cope with or process your emotions, consider speaking to a therapist. They are equipped to help you deal with the conflicting feelings you have.
It is also worth visiting a couples’ therapist before the bachelorette party takes place. They can facilitate the conversation of setting healthy and realistic boundaries. They can also give you exercises to improve your trust and openness to each other.
Upon reflection, you might determine that irreparable damage has been done to your relationship. Trust is difficult to build, but it is easy to destroy. Infidelity is frequently cited as a reason for the disintegration of relationships, as it ruins the trust between partners.
You are free to cancel the wedding altogether. This is easier said than done, as societal, parental, and personal pressures might compel you to do otherwise. However, entering a marriage where you cannot trust your partner never ends well.
It is worth stressing that cheating is never okay, even and especially during a bachelorette party. Trying to justify it as her “last night of freedom” is also factually incorrect; this freedom has been gone since she agreed to enter a monogamous relationship.
If your bride-to-be cheats on you during her bachelorette party, know that your feelings are valid. It is overwhelming, upsetting, and infuriating. However, be mindful of what you do with your anger; release it healthily and productively.
If you are a friend of the bride-to-be, or simply a witness to the act, inform the groom. Doing so is in everyone’s best interest. More importantly, you are making a stance that cheating will not be enabled nor tolerated, and cheaters need to face the consequences of their actions.
Marisa Jenkins is a wedding planner and event coordinator. Her main goal for WeddingFrontier.com is to simplify the wedding planning process by sharing her years of expertise in the industry.

My wife cheated during her bachelorette party , im heartbroken and confused.
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Me and my wife have been together 6 years married for about 2, last night one of her close friends who she had a falling out with recently told me about how my wife got really drunk during her party and ended up sleeping with some guy. Initially I didn't believe her because there relationship isn't the best but then she had another woman was there confirm the story.
I had planned to wait a couple days to gather my thoughts before confronting my wife but I couldn't, when she got home from work I confronted her about it at first she denied but as I continued to press she admitted it. She starts crying and saying how it was a drunken mistake and how she'd never do that sober blah blah blah. I left I spent the rest of that night and most of today trying to figure out what I'm going to do I had my life planned out with this woman and she betrayed me. I haven't spoken to her today tho she's been flooding my phone with a million calls and texts
Honestly that's what scaring me the most 2 years! She hid this from me I don't know if that trust can ever be rebuilt, I'm just so blind sided like what else could she be lying was it really a one time thing my mind is in all of those insecure and dark places
The most compelling thing is the amount of time she hid this.
If you have no kids, I highly recommend divorce. You haven't been married long and she is already cheating and blaming alcohol.
You also seem young, maybe late 20s, early 30s... Don't waste time trying to reconcile bullshit and finding out you wasted 2 - 5 more years to end up at the same finish line.
And you can add her friends clearly not being friends of the marriage to the list of cons
Get a lawyer , and a divorce. There’s no working through this when she’s been lying to you for 2 years. If her friends didn’t tell you, you’d probably have never found out.
Sounds like she's really good at lying and hiding her cheating from you. Think about that...
She probably would have taken this shit to the grave with her if those other women didn't speak up, so chances are there's no way to trust her again. Don't even think about anything else she could be hiding or lying about, because she won't be forthcoming about anything unless presented with evidence, as she's shown. Focus on where to go from here and protect yourself.
Honestly if she was able to cheat on you and keep it a secret for that long you really don't know what else she could be lying about.
I understand that youve been blindsided. The length of time she hid this is not surprising to me. She made a horrible, stupid mistake while drunk. I wonder how much encouragement and free shots she got from her toxic girlfriends. I wonder if her ex bestie enabled and encouraged the bs at the bachelorette party. Not blaming them, but truly wondering. Your wife fucked up royally. Ypu have EVERY right and reason to be pissed off and hurt and non trusting. However, i would ask you to take some time. Text her back and ask her to stop blowing up your phone. You need to think and calm down and every gd text is just a distirbance and a stressor. Ask her to step back with that. Maybe text her that you are ok (physically), and that you are taking some space. Also, try to think about whether a 1 off mistake - albiet a huge fucking mistake - is worth the rinse and spin cycle of divorce. Are you willi g to throw out those years? Do you love her? Do you think a therapist might be helpful? Do you think ypu cpuld (with therapy or couples counseling or parameters clearly spelled out about trust issues, triggers, alcohol consumption, etc.) Ever forgive her and truly move on? For YOU? Or, do you feel that this episode is gonna be a big rock in your shoe forever? If so, be aware that a divorce is also a terrible experience. Your personal life splayed out for a binch of strangers- yes, the courts and lawyers and mediators are brutal and ruthless. You have no privacy and no voice other than whatever scumbag lawyer you get says. Lawyers are awful. They will drain you dry, bancrupt you, laugh about your case as they go to the Ritz for lunch with your wife's scumbag lawyer. Your credit will be fucked. Ypu have to devide assets, retirement plans, whose name are cars in? Who pays the insurance on those? Mortgage? Community property? Idk. I am older and wiser than I was in my 20s and 30s. I also went thru a horrific, contentious divorce after 20 years of marriage. That was 10 years ago and i am still trying to rebuild my credit. I lost a relationship with my oldest son from repercussions of the divorce. I am not sayi g to give her a free pass, but i am asking you to think about as many scenerios as you can. I know its hard in your shocked emotional state. Do you believe your wife would ever do this again? Was it totally out of character? Is she a really good and nice person, who is sincerely ashamed regretful and apologetic? Is she a cheating type or is this revelation just completely out of the blue? Take time to think, ask yourself about your love for her - can it survive? Can you move forward in a healthy way? She kept this from you because she knew the news would devestate you. Again, i am not saying all is well, but I am not sure filing for divorce after just getting this news is a good idea. Also, her girlfriend sounds like a jerk. Good luck to you and i am so sorry youre dealing with this stale ass drama that cuts you so fresh. Be strong. Keep your head.
Really, one time is more than enough, if i was in your shoes i would divorce her, because staying together will make your life miserable, and more so each day. Doing this ti you and hiding for 2 years like its nothing, you dont need this
People who will hide something like this for that length of time, will hide anything that they feel makes them look bad. Anything.
But also..."I would never do that sober" means jack shit. Does that mean that if she gets drunk during your marriage she might cheat again?! Being drunk doesn't make you do something you don't want to, just stops your ability to see the consequences. So in saying that she's not saying that she respects and loves you too much to betray your trust and break your heart, she's saying she wouldn't want you to find out about it.
It can't be rebuilt. Please don't try.
These places in your mind are only insecure if you aren't secure in your thoughts about the relationship. Generally, the type of insecurities people talk about involve personal baggage from outside brought into the relationship. This time however, your wife has literally broken the security of your marriage . Your mind is in insecure and dark places because that is where reality lies right now . You may not like it, but turning away now would only be to hide the facts.
If she could fuck someone in the few weeks before she committed herself for life to someone then she could certainly do it again after life settles into a boring day-to-day routine of marriage. What's stopping her that didn't stop her at the bachelorette ? What is different - that would be my concern and that is what I would discuss with her - after - you clear your head of the pain and emotional hurt of betrayal. If you had known her to be a cheater would the marriage have gone through ? I think its doubtful.
Op she gladly hid this and would have lived your entire life together carrying g get betrayal like a bad tattoo. When finally someone else brought it to light she immediately blamed alcohol and took zero responsibility. Hell shes not even remorseful. She’s just upset that she got caught and afraid of the consequences.
If you can get over this you are a more forgiving person than me. I don’t think I could live with someone who betrayed me so willingly for so long(with plans to do it my entire life). What says she doesn’t get “too drunk” again and then again after that.

Update : my wife cheated during her bachelorette party, im heartbroken and confused.
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We face timed for about an hour, she cried a lot an explained that it was a one time I thing and how i should come home so we can discuss ”us” i rejected her offer and said i need her to leave the house for awhile while I collect my thoughts and figure out what i wanted to do next. She agreed ( not like she had a choice the home was given to me when my father pasted)
I asked why she did this and why did she hide it from me. She breaks down again explaining that it was a stupid mistake that she felt pressured to make and she's never spoken to the guy since. She offered me all her social media pass words and begged me not to leave her and try and work threw this. I didn't respond and she went on to explain how she didn't tell me because she didn't want a drunken slip up to destroy our life .
After some more awkward silence she tells me I can sleep with anyone woman and i shut that down and just said I need space. she's leaving the house tonight and I'm meeting with my brother in a couple hours to explain the situation to him.
I'm still not sure what I want to do but i understand that this isn't a decision should rush. I'm meeting with my lawyer tomorrow and plan on taking half the money from our joint accounts just to be safe.
No shit! That’s the most f’d up part of this whole thing. How on earth could she go through with that?
Putting it that way...sheesh. OP, you need to run. Trust will never come back once someone’s cheated.
she had sex with someone during her bachelorette party and then could look in your face and say her vows etc while knowing what she did.
Damn dude, it was always bad but when you put it that way, last fuckin' nail in the coffin.
The worst thing about this is. Depending on how soon after the party they got married, she might've walked to the altar with the other guys sperm still sloshing around inside of her. That stuff can survive for 2-5 days and stays around dead for a bit longer.
Personally, I couldn't get over this.
That is what suggests that she only feels bad about being caught and facing consequences.
It happens to far too many guys, woman at bachelorette parties are awful they try to pressure the bride to be to get into so much questionable behavior it’s like they stop seeing the fiancé as a person for a night.
100% the most fucked up part. There's no going back on this one for OP...
That's what would do it for me too. The cheating is really terrible but people make grievous mistakes all the time. To pretend that there are no situations in which you would do the same is just prideful. I might even be able to forgive someone for cheating on me.
But literally the next day she said her wedding vows... That takes lying to a whole new level, you can't come back from that.
I’m sure she really does feel remorse, but ultimately she did the worst betrayal of a relationship that a person can do, and that’s a pure character issue.
It sucks to be in the position, but she isn’t marriage material. If you don’t have kids the decision gets easier.
A drunken spontaneous fling right before getting married.. What's worse is she may have had another guy's spunk in her while she said those vows depending on how careless she may have been.
It's a common theme I see that it's their "last chance" before getting married when there really isn't much difference in the relationship beyond some financial and legal incentives. The tears are generally more about the embarrassment about getting caught, and often times there is anger along with it. People tend to get frustrated and angry when there isn't a good defense available otherwise.
If you are inclined to discuss this further, I would ask her if she can dig a little deeper than just calling it a stupid mistake. Certainly that may be the case. But why does she think she made that mistake at that time? Fear? Insecurity? Issues with you? Trying to impress her friends? She said it was something she "felt pressured to make". By whom? Her fellow bachelorettes? The guy? It seems like in just calling it a mistake, she is not really explaining anything other than that she wishes it hadn't happened. Also, when you ask her why she hid it, she doesn't really have much to say. You may not even care to know more, but it seems like she hasn't shared much about why she thinks she made this mistake.
Yep. I second all of this. If OP is going to consider remaining in the relationship, OP's partner is going to need to demonstrate that she's learned from her mistake and then grow and mature because of it. She has to do the work of self reflection and bettering herself and she has to show that progress to OP. The long road to recovering trust will depend hugely on how she decides to deal with herself in regards to the mistake. Otherwise, OP might as well figure that her only real mistake was him finding out, and there's no recovery of trust possible down that road.
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