Wife Bondage Training

Wife Bondage Training

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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

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When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind. But in BDSM —an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism—punishment can be a major component of sex. And a pleasurable one, at that.
“Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some [dominant/submissive] dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating . “There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”
Every couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use—and the options are essentially endless. For example, if the submissive partner is a "brat" (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty.
“Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. "It's really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what's okay for punishment and what's not.”
Like with most deliciously kinky things, punishment is not just about pain, but also pleasure. It’s a dance between the dom and sub that allows them to explore sides of themselves they may not get a chance to express in real life.
“Sexual punishment is when you know there is a part of you that is under-expressed, maybe from shame or fear,” says Kenneth Play , international sex educator and and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “So, if you feel like you’re being a dirty slut, being punished by your partner allows you to live out that feeling, while also enjoying your 'dirty slut' side.”
IMPORTANT: Before you engage in any BDSM punishments, you and your partner must thoroughly discuss your boundaries and limits beforehand. Despite the connotation of punishing someone, the activity still requires enthusiastic consent from all parties; the punished wants to be punished, and the punisher wants to punish.
This is where you bring someone to the brink of orgasm, only to stop touching them right before orgasm. Oh, the sweet agony.
Put them over your knee and show them what happens to naughty people who break the rules. Just remember to aim for the fleshy parts of the body, such as the butt cheeks and upper thighs.
Or, you could deny them a spanking. “Sometimes a submissive will ‘act out’ to get the punishment that they really enjoy," says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "One way to punish them is to NOT give them what they enjoy."
Force your sub to agree to keep their pretty little mouth shut. You can go a step further by not allowing your submissive to speak while in a public place without asking permission first.
This would be cruel outside of a consenting dom/sub dynamic, but hot as hell if both parties are into it. “[This entails] getting your submissive dressed up for an event that they really enjoy, but upon arrival making them sit outside on the ground with their hands in their lap and not allow them to come into the event for a specific amount of time,” Sparks says.
Make your submissive walk on all fours with a collar and a leash like a dog. You can incorporate a dog mask designed for kink, like this one , and even take the act outside for the public humiliation factor.
This is a form of public degradation: You make your submissive wear a shirt that literally says "slut" on it.
“Chain your partner to the bed and leave them there to wait for your return,” Saynt says. “Leave your home and decide how long you want to make them wait for you. Come back to them begging you to set them free.” Oh, the fun that can ensue afterward!
This is when you "make" your partner "take" the pleasure, even if it feels like over-stimulation. “Force your partner to have orgasms until they are completely overwhelmed—then keep going,” Play says.
This is when the dom has sex with someone else and forces the sub to watch. Cuckolding is a more advanced activity, and we suggest doing your research before bringing a new person into the bedroom. For a slightly tamer version, the dominant partner can make the submissive watch them get off with a toy.
“Refuse to let your partner pleasure you and make them beg for a taste," Saynt suggests. "Come within a few inches of their mouth, watch their tongue slip out and get just close enough but not quite there. Make your body their prize and make the longing for it the punishment.”
“Grab ice cubes and use them to run along your partner's body while they are restrained,” Saynt says. “Use the ice to stimulate their body and offer a chilling experience.” This can go really well with a blindfold—that way the sub’s other senses, including touch, are heightened.
“What chore(s) does your sub hate doing? Make them do it—meticulously,” Pfeuffer suggests. What better excuse to not have to do the dishes tonight?
If your sub is naughty, take away their table privileges and force them to eat off the floor like a dog.
Tell your sub to get on all fours and act as a stool for you to rest your feet. Dive into a good book and force them to stay still until you’re good and ready to let them get up.
Is your sub being a little brat? “Put your submissive in the corner for a time-out,” Pfeuffer says. “Being ‘grounded’ for a little while can be incredibly effective” in getting them to follow your rules next time.
Dribble hot wax on a naughty sub’s body. Be sure you’re using a body-safe candle (like these from LoveHoney ), unless you really know what you’re doing. You don’t want to cause burns.
“Only allow your sub to pleasure themselves with your permission," Pfeuffer says. "If rules are broken, that permission is revoked." This means you hold the power over whether they experience pleasure or not; their pleasure is a gift you’re allowing them to enjoy in return for good behavior.
Have your sub go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, or some other ordinary place while wearing a panty vibrator. You can accompany them, if you choose. We love the We-Vibe Moxie , which comes with its own remote for the dom to control.
If your sub breaks the rules, write what they did wrong on their body in permanent marker. Make them wear it around all day so they don’t forget how naughty they were.
Have your sub sit in the shower or bathtub and pee on them. This kind of humiliation play can get messy, so you might want to do it in the nude.
This is a form of “restrictive discipline,” much like giving your sub a “time out” in the corner. If they break the rules, take away something they enjoy as punishment. This could be access to the show they want to watch, their cell phone, or even an orgasm.
This one is taken right out of the old Catholic school playbook. If your sub does something they’re not supposed to, have them write out what they did a hundred times as punishment.
Have your sub wear a collar around. This shows them that they belong to you and you are in control. If you want ideas, we love this one .

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Home > Dating & Sex > 30 Kinky BDSM Ideas to Try with your SO Tonight
You may have already heard of the four-letter term BDSM at any time in the past – but when it is actually uttered, thoughts of toys, positions, and rules may be quite overwhelming… scary even! To some, we don’t even know what the word implies. If you’re looking for BDSM ideas, you’ve come to the right place.
For starters, BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. All these are subs in the wide world of kinks. For a lot of people, BDSM is something new. It can be an opportunity to explore ideas of power and control. It can also be a chance for you to discover things you never knew could turn you on.
And while BDSM can be all of these elements, it can also sometimes just be bondage sex or any other element alone. No need to pressure yourself into getting into all these when your or your SO’s comfort level is just at bondage or some other element.
Also, BDSM may not necessarily mean penetration and is just a standalone exercise for sexual satisfaction.
If there is one thing we would like to emphasize enough, it is that when going into BDSM, you should always take into your utmost consideration your and your SO’s safety. As such, we have rounded up a few things to include in your checklist before going into BDSM.
And so update your kink list as we give you the best of everything BDSM – from role-playing, essentials, to positions – here are 30 of the hottest BDSM ideas you can get into tonight!
This is perhaps one of the most popular fantasies in both men and women. The teacher and student scenario can come in two different ways. Both the “I failed my last exam and I will do anything to get a passing grade” + unzip pants scenario; or the “You are a bad student and needs to be punished” + unzip pants scenario are both hot options.
Both ways, the pants fall to the floor, and that’s what we’re all concerned about.
We know they’re supposed to be in the kitchen but the maid just made you so mad! Punish the maid and let her see who’s boss.
This is one of the most popular BDSM ideas and is just perfect timing to use those handcuffs. Cuff her nice and good and start the interrogations for the bad things she’s done.
A comprehensive physical exam is being called for. Tell your patient you want her in excellent physical health and so… take that dress off and bend over.
Don’t forget to reprimand her for not following doctor’s orders!
A secretary with bad work ethics can be made badder. Reprimand her in more ways than the memo for not submitting the reports on time.
Another of those BDSM ideas that while popular, works!
One of the most popular BDSM games around is when daddy’s little girl got naughty today. She needs to be punished. Pigtails, lollipops, and a good amount of spanking never grow old.
What does she mean she cannot pay for the pizza you delivered? Make your way in and let her know she can pay you in another way.
Put your pet on a leash and make sure she doesn’t scratch the furniture. Or have her sit on your lap or tie her to a bedpost so she doesn’t wander around; or for extreme plays, have her get inside a cage when she misbehaves.
And here’s one more. Have her eat from a bowl on the floor.
The villainess is captured. Tie her up and make sure to get her out of that tight-fitting costume to reveal her real identity. And make sure to castigate her for all the bad things she’s done.
Wrestling is always the perfect prologue to hot, kinky encounters.
There is just something in this BDSM game that’s sizzling, what with you being pinned down by that hot, wrestler chick. And just when she thinks she’s winning, you overpower her and gain the upper hand. You stay on top amidst all that squirming.
Any form of verbal degradation and humiliation can be extremely kinky if (let’s make that a big IF), you both take pleasure in this kind of play.
Note: always discuss and respect boundaries first.
Exciting times ahead as you go out to dinner or a party with her not wearing anything behind that dress. You can also have her wear a sex toy, a vibrator perhaps. And right in the smack of the public eye, put on your naughtiest and press that button that connects to the vibrator. See how much your SO tries to stifle a groan, a moan, and everything hot.
A vibrator is just one of the many basic toys you can incorporate in your BDSM adventures. Read on to find out more about these essentials.
While we’ve discussed mostly BDSM ideas on role-playing, much of these require sex toys , restraints, and must-have essentials, one of which is the ball gag .
We’ve been taught not to talk when the mouth is full. The gag is not just merely teaching it; it is enforcing it. Gags are ideal for limiting your SO’s speech and breathing. Tie her up, gag her and you get a submissive that’s bowing down to your every wish.
It is also usual to find the sub drooling while wearing a gag and that adds a bit more humiliation for the SO wearing it. That’s good enough punishment as it is.
BDSM toys and must-haves are all about limiting one or more senses of the sub. As such, blindfolds and hoods are just some of the most popular BDSM essentials around.
Depriving one of your senses intensifies the other remaining sensory structures and so, in an attempt to even up, most would feel the intensity in their sense of smell or taste.
Going back to the blindfold, most that are sold have aesthetic considerations in mind but if you are good with just about anything, a scarf or a sleep mask would do just fine.
Usually made of leather, a BDSM collar can also double up as a leash when needed but aside from these uses, collars are worn by the sub that is in a relationship signifying ownership. Sort of like an “I am taken” signal. Or to make it simple, it is a wedding ring in the world of BDSM.
Floggers , riding crops, and paddles are very common examples of spanking tools. Each of these also has varying degrees of pain caused, starting with the floggers that causes just a little bit of pain to riding crops that are on the stingy part of the pain, to paddles that causes much of a thud than a sting.
Careful with the spanking tools as they can cause unwanted pain when incorrectly used but when the little girl is bad, daddy needs to spank!
Canes and rods are also spanking tools but cause much pain when incorrectly used so it is always wise to exercise caution while swinging and not get overly carried away with the spanking.
When canes and rods are causing that much pain, whips are on a different level. Get yourself practiced and your whip-expertise leveled up before using this on your SO.
Nipple clamps can be a bit tad overwhelming for any beginner. Aside from it coming in different types, it can also be used in varying forms. Some nipple clamps can be used for pleasure, some for breast torture, while others can be as a form of restraint.
The sensations your SO feels depend on the type of nipple clamp you get as much as on the sensitivity of the nipple. But whether it’s for pleasure or pain, nipple clamps can be used by almost everyone and with a variety of choices in the market, your possibilities for BDSM ideas are endless.
Playing the police officer in you, handcuffs can be so sizzling hot. A BDSM essential that is used to keep the arms together and contained, your handcuffed SO will not have any choice but to stay put and accept her destiny of hot, erotic sex!
If you’re feeling a little bit hesitant about causing your SO some pain but would still want to add discipline to the play, feather ticklers may be your best bet.
Its use is quite simple. Just run the feather tickler along your SO’s privates, nipples, or other sensitive parts and see how she squirms from all the pleasure you’re causing. Blindfolding your SO can potentially amplify this BDSM game’s excitement. But that’s not all. Make sure to stop when she’s about to come… until she begs and learns.
The main reason for using a bondage rope is to keep your SO tied to furniture such as a bed, a couch, or a bench. Your SO’s vulnerability is not just sexy but kinky as well. As dominant in this exercise, there is nothing that pleases you more than seeing your SO available, ready and accepting to your every whim.
Take caution, though, and as mentioned earlier, you need to have a certain amount of knowledge on the art of rope bondage. Don’t just tie her up without any form of practice!
For a mouth that just won’t stop, this is your best bet.
Bondage tapes are different from your usual duct tape.
Aside from the bratty lips, bondage tapes can also be used to keep in place thrashing arms or legs. One word of caution, though, is to make sure you do not impede the blood circulation. Not too tight there!
Consisting of a bar and a cuff on each end, a spreader bar , as the name itself implies, keeps your SO’s arms or legs wide apart. It adds extra restraint, just allowing you to penetrate whatever needs to be penetrated with so much ease.
It could also be used to instill discipline on your sub.
Speaking of discipline, one of the milder BDSM ideas to acquaint your SO with BDSM discipline is on edging.
Edging, as the name itself implies, is when you try to bring your SO to orgasm and just when it’s about to burst, you stop. You see now where you’re bringing her with that? To the edge, hence, the term.
Edging is a good way to instill discipline in that it makes her see who has direct control over who. And the bonus part? It leads to one explosive orgasmic experience.
You never did expect disciplining your SO can be so hot, didn’t you?
You see, when you get tickled, you would expect giggles and fun. When does it become punishment? Consider tickling your sub while she’s bound or cuffed, gagged even, and is in no way able to stop the tickling even with all the thrashing and squirming.
Of course, you have to see if your partner consents to the tickling but if she does, do not just assume you can tickle her all you want. Employ a safe word so you’d know when you’re about to cross boundaries.
Now, this here is a bit on the extreme side of things. Figging is one of those BDSM ideas that involves sticking something into your SO’s behind or even her privates – this time, freshly-cut ginger.
In case you’re scratching your head, the ginger serves
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