Wife Affair

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Wife Affair
I read about my wife's affair in her diary
'I wanted to yell at her, but my initial anger was quickly anaesthetised by shock'. Photograph: Ivor Prickett
Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
I don't remember the exact day Colin (not his real name) became part of my life. A fleetingly glimpsed neighbour I'd sometimes nod to, I knew he was a long-distance truck driver and I think he knew who I was. When our paths crossed, he would seldom meet my gaze. I don't even remember when I first heard his name. A familiar voice uttered it, though: my wife's. It wasn't by way of an introduction, although years later I did wonder how that might have gone. "Honey, you've seen that handsome man with the blond hair, broad shoulders and light tan who lives at number 18? His name's Colin." But no. Rather more mundanely, she referred to him matter-of-factly in conversation. "Colin took the remains of that old fence to the dump for me today, honey." Or, "Oh, by the way, Colin mended the lawn mower. Then he mowed the lawn."
Colin was indeed the helpful friend who lived down the road. It is easier now to see that he was a more astute people-watcher than he seemed. He must have known that my job often took me abroad, and he probably had me profiled as a workaholic, as insensitive to my wife's needs as I was trusting of her fidelity. By then we'd been married for some time and had two young children. While I was away, my wife stayed at home taking care of the kids. I thought we were happy but, in truth, I was too wrapped up in my job to know. Life went on. And secretly, day by day, it was written down: my wife was a meticulous diarist and spent 20 minutes every evening logging the day's events.
One afternoon I walked into our bedroom and noticed she'd left her diary on the bed. This was unusual but, stranger still, it was open. I went to put it in her bedside drawer, but as I closed the pages I caught sight of the word "Colin". My immediate impulse was to slam the diary shut and try to forget I'd seen his name before it had a chance to sink in.
Instead, I started to read. The entries stretched back months, detailing their covert liaisons - romantic, practical, but mostly sexual. The descriptions ranged from the relatively tame ("Kissed and cuddled today, it was lovely") to the kind of things you get in the racier passages of a Mills & Boon novel - nothing too graphic, but surprisingly comprehensive. My jaw ached with panic and I felt the sudden flush of adrenaline.
Of course, I confronted her. I wanted to yell at her, but my initial anger was quickly anaesthetised by shock. I felt numb, confused. With tears in her eyes, she said she hadn't been happy for years and that Colin provided an escape. At that moment, I didn't know what to say. It was four or five hours before we could sit down and talk. We discussed the usual options, including divorce, but decided to stay together for the sake of the children, make a fresh start. Next day, she told Colin it was over.
We didn't see him for a couple of weeks after that - he'd been driving his lorry on the continent. But Colin never did return. The news that he had gone missing on a ship, presumed lost overboard, was broken to us by his next-door neighbour. My wife's first reaction was stunned disbelief, as was mine. Then she turned away and covered her mouth, trying to stifle any sobs. Thoughts and emotions more tangled than ever, I tried to comfort her.
Colin's death was confirmed by the positive identification of a body washed up on the beach. Some weeks later, my wife asked if we could drive to the crematorium so she could lay some flowers and say her final farewells. It felt strange but, in the hope of her finding some kind of closure, I told myself it was the right thing to do.
Somehow, and completely irrationally, I felt involved in Colin's death, as if a personal timeline had been derailed on my behalf and destiny rewritten to rescue a failing relationship. Slowly we tried to put it behind us and his name was never mentioned again. A few years later we had another child and our marriage entered a new, happier phase. I vowed to be a more attentive husband and adjust my work-life balance. But I couldn't forget the affair, especially how close it had happened to home.
I should have trusted my instinct: 12 years later, my wife ran off with my best friend.
Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com


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I know my wife is having an affair since last summer, but I pretend I didn't notice. She is just too young for me, and what I could do 20 years ago I can't do now anymore. I love her, and imagining her in bed with someone else makes me sick, but I am happy for her at least. Our love making last less and less every month, but she seems to be happy with what I offer and never asks for more. Now I know why. We met this man at the church, he was with his wife, a very nice woman; I have no clue when and how he and my wife clicked. They must have read each other's eyes, I guess. It's amazing how easy women can lie. She comes home and tells me how busy she was at work, how she stopped by the mall to buy something for the summer, or for the winter, and so on, looking into my eyes without blinking. And I know she stopped actually by a Holiday Inn less than a mile away from our house, where I saw her and his car on several occasions. She used her iPhone for text messages with him, probably trusting my honesty, but when you have a 40 yrs old wife who still looks damn good, and you are almost 65, you can't trust her that much anymore. At least I found this place to tell it to someone!


Nearly all women WILL cheat if they are reasonably sure they won't get caught. The ones hard to take are the ones that disrespect by flirting right in front of you. I was married to one of those, got fed up. Not going to say what I did to end it, but it sure won't happen again.


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Older men who marry younger women have to know that she will need other men for s** . It is normal. I accept that my wife has had several other men since we got married. My problem is she is not discrete and our friends know and have told me she is cheating. I know my boss has f***** her and a neighbor too. Humiliating but nothing I can do about it now. She has discovered black men too and it would not surprise me if she has a reverse tubular ligation and get pregnant. I understand black men love to knock up white married women. I may wind up paying to raise a black baby. Oh well, I can afford it. Such is life.


How-to-know-if-wife-is-having-an-affair


my wife is about to cheat but doesn't know I know it ( she leaves her FB chat on her iphone which i came across a while ago). This Wednesday, when I am out of town she is going to his place for the first time. I am going to let her do it, to see if she does. If she does, I will bide my time till my youngest graduates, but will indulge in escorts when I am in cities with no guilt what so ever! Once I find a nicer person, I will dump her ass with proof that she cheated. ps, I have supported this woman through depression, done most of the child rearing, house work and cooking. I work 50 +hours a week as a CEO but have no male friends or social life outside of my wife's friends. She goes out, I stay home. From her FB chats she seems to think i am inadequately endowed ( she has a size queen best friend) and wants to try something bigger. I know I am average which I am fine with because I am above average in the IQ department and I apply it to love making which is why we need to wash our sheets ( not because of me) after our weekly sessions. I know I should intervene, but f her if she cheats, then I will do what's best for my boys and for me. I will be vendictive because she put me through h*** the first 15 years of marriage.


Why wait to leave? Time is your most valuable asset. Using it to stay with someone you have already left in your mind seems like a waist. I understand children need stability to concentrate on their studies, but I am sure they can see your lack of interest in their mother. It might be worthwhile to have a therapist help you out here. Betrayal is a hard pill to swallow, STDs are different situation, but your child(ren) will eventually see something is not right. I wish you the best.


Don't worry I have seen many cases like you. she might be doing this just for s** as you say you love her honestly sooner or later she will realize what she does is wrong.do not forget that every person in this world is a combination of good and bad.


You are right, and it would be easier to accept it if I knew it's just s** . Unfortunately we all know what we used to do with a married woman in a hotel room, where all inhibitions disppeared, and where she accepted pretty much all kinds of fantasies. In such situations a woman does things that she would never do with her husband in a million years. I'm not a child, and I have a good idea about her most pervert experiences during such meetings - believe me, the shower I know she's taking at the hotel after that is not even closely enough.


Wait a minute you used to sleep with a married woman? F*** you!!! My ex wife was seduced by this d-bag but don't worry karma eventually got him she cheated on him


Years ago I was her advisor in graduate studies. After she completed her degree we started dating. As simple as this. Thanks for the post.


I don't know. It sounds like you've given up on be a happy presence in her live. You seem disinterested in s** , for one thing. And you just sound like you have succumbed to old age when you really aren't THAT old. You've caught her, for sure. Now it's up to you. You can tell her you know but still enjoy living with her so she can stop lying and continue the affair. You can put your foot down, never trust her again and live miserably or you can leave her. One thought is to roll with it, if you can handle it. Have her describe what the guy does to her sexually. Ask her not to let him know that you know. Have her hook up with him at your house and watch. It might get your engine firing again. Good luck.


:( I don't know what to say.. I'm too young to give you a solution, but I'll try to help you... You say you love her, but at the same time you're miserable.. And in my opinion living a miserable life with someone who obviously doesn't care about you is a waste.. I suggest to imagine how your life will be if you remain with her without at least confronting her about it... if you think this is what you want fine.. you can always cheat on her as well I guess... But its just sad that you subject yourself to a situation that you dont deserve.. If she is unhappy she should be upfront about it not w**** around behind your back... You only have a life and just because you lived with her for years doesn't mean you have to put up with all this crap.. I know you probably wont, but the rational thing to do is dumping her ass..If not, cheat on her as well just to feel equal... I'm really sorry by the way =( you dont even deserve it because you sound nice and all...she's a b**** ...


He's a 65 years old man who can't satisfy his younger wife who wants to cheat with him?


"How easy women can lie" Well the man she cheated with is a married man,perhaps she eventually would ask how easy men can lie..

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More stories to check out before you go
A baby shower descended into chaos after a man exposed his wife’s affair in front of family and friends in a video that has now gone viral.
A video has captured the moment a husband claims his pregnant wife is carrying somebody else’s child.
The horrifying footage, which was captured at the couple’s baby shower, sees the man make the shocking accusations in front of guests, including the man he claims she cheated with, The Sun reports.
The video was shared on Reddit although its authenticity has not yet been verified.
According to a Reddit translation, the Spanish speaking husband addresses the crowd saying, “This is my lawyer. We have over here a document.”
“You guys all know that I’m expecting a boy. Here, look, I have the pregnancy test, you guys know I’m gonna (sic) be a dad. But you know what, you guys overlooked an important detail.
“Here is proof that she isn’t four months pregnant but in fact she is six months pregnant.”
As the mum-to-be becomes more agitated she begs her husband to discuss the matter with her outside, but determined to expose the truth, he continues.
A lawyer, who can be seen sitting at a table, then presents the crowd with footage of the woman appearing to get hot and heavy with her love, who is sat at the baby shower just a few tables away.
“That isn’t my child; this party is for these two” the man adds.
As the baby shower begins to descend into chaos he says, “This party is not for me, but for them and I will leave it at that.”
The woman’s father also turns to her in shock asking, “What is your husband talking about?” to which she responds, “It’s a misunderstanding, Dad.”
The event ends in a scuffle as the husband leaves with his wife chasing after him while fellow guests vent their anger at the other man.
Fellow Redditors have been left outraged over the clip, which has since received thousands of views and comments.
“Dang, seven months of waiting. That is hardcore,” one person wrote.
“Well, that escalated quickly,” another added.
“You can see the guy in the red shirt getting pretty nervous early in the video,” a third person pointed out.
The video was shared on the subreddit r/Trashy.
The group has over 2.2 million members and is described as a place for “trashy stories, trashy glamour, all things fake, plastic and downright trashy”.
This article originally appeared on The Sun and has been reproduced with permission here
A woman who calls herself a “hospitality professional” has accused police of harassing her because she was too “good-looking”.
A former Married At First Sight star has shocked her fans after revealing an unbelievable sex secret live on air.
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