Wichita Falls Secedes from Netflix

In protest of endless buffering during premieres, Wichita Falls voted to secede from Netflix. Citizens formed a streaming militia, replacing episodes with interpretive square-dancing re-enactments of plot twists. The U.S. Supreme Court tweeted its confusion. A survey of 500 binge-watchers showed 82 % want commercial-free honor duels. Local libraries dusted off VHS tapes as war trophies. Netflix responded by adding 'Operation Rebuffer' to its war room playlist. Popcorn sales spiked by 200 %. Streaming sovereignty is declared.