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Labels are hard to shift . I know . I pissed myself in class in grade 2 . Since then I got labelled as “that kid who peed his pants .” My friends would say, “Hey remember that time you peed your pants?” Hard to forget when it’s frequently brought up over 8 years . I escaped that identity only when I changed schools . I suspect being labelled “slut” is much worse . I’ve never once called a girl a slut . I’ve had girlfriends who cheated on me though . Not pleasant . Then again, I’ve cheated on girlfriends . Not proud . You might say that’s karma for being a man slut . But perhaps, just perhaps, we all are . Yes . If you’re reading this and you’re female, you’re a slut! Wow, that’s the first time I said that to a girl . Anyway, here’s why you are… Women are sluts and men are, well, men . We think of men as man-whores already . Hence there’s no point of stating the obvious . But the truth is both sexes love sex . Women are just as promiscuous as men, otherwise the numbers don’t add up . If men were sleeping around with all these women, there has to be “all these women” to sleep around with in the first place . The average male reports having twice as many partners as the average women report . This could only happen if there are twice as many women in the population . Either men exaggerate or women understate . But someone’s lying here . In nature it’s the male species that use physical appearance to vie for female attention . In humans, it’s the opposite . Women in the Kayan tribe of Thailand extend their necks with brass rings . Women in Ethiopian tribes scar their bellies or insert plaques into their lips . In Japan, women cosmetically unstraighten their teeth, while a tribe in Indonesia file their teeth to be pointy . Women of 19th century Europe wore tight corsets . Meanwhile daughters in Mauritania are sent to fat camps to get stretch marks . Different methods but to the same end . To attract men . It’s true in every society in every part of the world at any time in history . Come to think of it, short skirts, see-through blouse and six-inch stilettos are a bit tame comparatively . Step it up a bit ladies! Once you’re tagged a slut, it sticks with you . It’s not that you can’t shake it off but often because you won’t . Your resistance to the slut label is the glue that keeps you tied to it . Carl Jung said it best . Whatever you resist persist . So embrace it . Wear it as a badge of honour of your sexual empowerment, and pretty soon the word loses all negative undertones . Take the “Slutwalk” movement . The protest was against victim-blaming and slut-shaming . Women declared loudly and proudly they were sluts . After a while people just told them to shut up about it . The movement died but so did some of the word’s power . What you embrace dissolves . You have plump breasts . No other primate does . Not unless they’re breastfeeding . It’s a trait non-essential for survival . In the animal world, it’s always the male species that have these “handicaps .” But there’s an adaptive payoff that outweighs the energy cost and survival risk . And that is sexual advantage . Peacocks get more peahens . Women get more men . In nature, sex mostly only occur when the female is ovulating . To prevent males searching for other mates while she’s not ovulating, a woman’s breasts signal she’s continuously sexually receptive . Push up bras, plunging necklines, fishnet crop tops, breast implants . Enhancing your assets opens up your options . It’s not slutty . It’s called natural selection . While men are typically penis-centric, women have a lot of erogenous zones . Virtually every part of their body can be a feel-good button . The clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis . It’s there for fun . The organ has no other function . Women were made to find sex pleasurable, arguably more than men . In our ancient past, humans evolved to find sweet and salty taste pleasurable . Times of plenty were rare . So when we did have access to those type of food we tended to gorge on them . Today this adaptive mechanis

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Why Do Women Become Prostitutes and Why Do Men Go To Them?





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By
Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D.






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This essay is a follow up to one that was posted on December 6, 2008, titled, “Why Do Men Go To Prostitutes?
The answers to these questions are many and complex. The complexity is embedded in the dangers of being simplistic, making generalizations, being judgmental, and falling prey to stereotyping.
The most common stereotype of prostitutes is that they are all street walkers, drug addicted, controlled by pimps, and willing to accept a few dollars for their services.
In reality, this “oldest profession” falls into several categories. Yes, there are the street walkers whose lives are awful. However, there are also those women who provide sexual favors in massage parlors, small hotels and out of their own apartments. At the end of the spectrum are those women who are escorts or professional sex workers. Often, they work for themselves and charge sums of money that can run into thousands of dollars for a night out. Sometimes their clients are politicians, sports figures, and Hollywood movie stars.
There are many reasons for women becoming sex workers and escorts. Some of these women have stated that they are attracted by the large sums of money they can earn while they are still young. Others see it as a way to pay for university education and further advancement. Most state that they intend to leave the business once they have earned the amount they want or need. They also see themselves as helping men save their marriages by supplying something they cannot get at home, or helping them chase away loneliness when they are on business trips.
At the other end of the spectrum of prostitution are the street walkers. Most of them are addicted to drugs, and many were forced into prostitution against their will. Sex trafficking is an international, multi billion dollar business involving criminals who kidnap and enslave girls. Girls as young as ten-years of age are snatched from their countries and sold into prostitution far away from their native homes.
Again, it’s important to avoid generalizing about how women get into prostitution. Studies show that large numbers of prostitutes were sexually abused during their childhood. It is the fact of the sexual abuse, more than anything else, that seems to underlay how and why some of them become prostitutes. These are the people most likely to be addicted to drugs as well as to develop, or already have, serious health problems, not the least of which is HIV as well as other STDs.
Finally, there are women who see prostitution as their way out of poverty. While they may choose to sell themselves, it is economic necessity that drives them. These are people who are unable to get jobs and are sometimes the only bread winners in the family.
Several men commented on the original article by saying that all of the reasons for paying for sex were not listed. Among the motivating factors for them were: 1. Believing they are ugly and unable to have sex without paying for it, 2. Wanting sex but without all of emotional involvement that comes with a girlfriend, marriage and family; wanting casual sex with no obligations attached, 3. Being convinced that their genitalia is too small and that any average woman would laugh at and reject them, 4. Working long, hard hours leaving no time for dating and romance. These are only a few of the reasons given.
From my perspective, the major concern about these men is not so much that they pay for sex but that they seem blind to the plight of these women. They convince themselves that prostitution is a choice and that none of the women they see are exploited. In some cases, they might be right. A lot depends on where they go and who they see. In my opinion, it’s a mistake to make any assumptions about the women they are visiting.
These are difficult issues that stir controversy. There are those who advocate legalizing and regulating the sex industry. There are others who are outraged by this for moral, or religious reasons.
For example, should a married man, for any reason, see a prostitute? Do you believe that it can help a marriage? Is a man who sees a prostitute being unfaithful?
You are encouraged to discuss your views, opinions, experiences, and opinions on this difficult issue.

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